Loving Long Term with Ladyboys. Possible?

[f0xxee]

(pacman @ Jun. 23 2012,14:51) So what starts out as an arrangement of convenience CAN turn into something much better. It takes patience & money but it is nice to consider that there is hope, all we need do is find the right girl.

Agreed. (We have been agreeing a lot lately. This has to stop!)

I think it's fair to say Paccie, this is age related for all men. Once we get into our late 40's early 50's we are kidding ourselves that there will be a massive romantic conflagration leading to romantic blissful love.

I honestly don't believe it (romantic love )can happen given such age difference (50yr old man/25 year old LB). It seems to me great romantic love requires firstly youth, and secondly a common generation.

While many of us (he said putting his hand up) have fooled ourselves into believing that we are madly in love, and so are our young partners, you only have to read the stories of heartache/heartbreak on this forum to see its pretty much universally one way traffic for the oldies: we fall in love with girls half our age and get our asses handed to us: its the younger guys who break the ladyboy hearts.

But what you have said is true: With my ex there was no thunderbolts. No chorus of angels singing. But by the end of 2 years I truly loved her (and she loved me) more profoundly than I have experienced before. It was never butterflies in the stomach. But it was pretty fucking wonderful.

I loved my best friend and she loved me.

[Torurot]

But unfortunately "Love" was not enough... and even Friendship "is not enough" I'm sure the "grass is greener" syndrome has some part to play in this.... not the "green eyed monster" type, just the "just wondering" type...

[bugeye29]

(f0xxee @ Jun. 23 2012,08:48) But I must say the Thai girls seem a little more realistic about their wants and needs.

Thais tend (of course my opinion only, based on throwing money like confetti at both species) tend to be more content with security and some sort of interaction with their families. But are more (in my opinion) jealous. They also seem less likely to believe that us Falangs have an Orchard full of money trees we shake daily for our income.

As for selling up and settling out the equity on your house and moving here?

You are only in your mid 50's... why not battle on through one more job and see if you can pay your house out. Not sure where in Aus you live, but given the rental market these days, if you could own the house outright and rent it, the rent per month would almost cover your living here.

Lets face it: the ideal catch for a ladyboy of either race would be a mid 30's man who looks like Brad Pitt (I wonder if he knows how often he gets named on this forum? Good thing he's a nice chap) has the income of Warren Buffet, the morals of Mother Theresa and preferably only came to visit for 2 weeks a year, and arrived in a Cadbury's truck.

Well tough shit ladies. Youse take what you can get in this life. We do.

Just a thought.

JF

Thanks for the comments, again i laughed a lot about the Cadbury truck, yes if i owned i chocolate factory i am sure i would be regarded as a God !

I have thought about renting the house out and trying to live off that income but unfortunatly like many others I have made some bad decisions along the way in life. So I would not be able to pay the house off under about 15 years ! and for what I can rent it there is not enough to live on in Thailand or Philippines the best I could do would be rent it and live off my savings for a year or 2 then come back here and work again.

I am looking at selling and trying to buy a unit then rent that and move, all the above is a work in progress.

Oh I am in Melbourne.

My standard answer when asked for money is " Well nobody sends me money so why would I send it to you " I do understand there situations there but hell it is bloody expensive to live in Victoria now !

I have tried talking to Thai LB's online before i get there, I even had one from a remote area that was going well until she wanted me to fund her new business. So my experience so far is not good but Filipino's do see Farang as money trees. I will keep trying !!

Oh, and this is a great topic !

[rxpharm]

Good discussions - but remember generalizations don't always hold true!

Lorren, it would be good to have your point of view in this discussion - although it still might be difficult for you - letting us know would be beneficial.

Just to let you guys know Lorren is NOT p4p, having her dental degree from the Philippines.

To resume the story about my ex-gf. After hearing her proposal, I decided to pay for her tuition to study hotel and tourism management, plus some allowance. She was supposed to finish in 2 years. Unfortunately after the first year her mother was diagnosed with cancer and had to have major surgery, to remove sections of her gastrointestinal tract. I did see the surgical scar afterwards, plus her medications, so it was not another usual scam. She chose to drop out of her program and look after her mother until she recovered.

Following this setback in her studies, she decided to try another track - she proposed to study English in Australia and then a diploma in business management. I also agreed to support her during this stage.

I know that all this sounds like the usual scam, but I was able to confirm that she was enrolled in the schools that she was supposed to be - plus was able to see me during my regular visits to LOS.

Whenever we were together, we were quite happy together - and she never did make any promises to love me or marry me - just stay with me.

In 2004 she wrote a goodbye letter, saying her family was putting too much pressure on her for financial demands, and she didn't want to ask for more to support them. Now with more experience behind me, I know it is quite common, and I also found out later her mother had a gambling problem that added further complications.

It was tough, as I was really in love with her - and I suppose I still have feeling for her, even 8 years after she disappeared.

I look back and think would I do it again? I would have to say yes. I suppose it sounds crazy, but there is some more to the story yet to come.

Stay tuned.

I am posting a photo of her, but with her face blurred in deference to her having changed her life.

[TEXASMAC]

Normally I try to come up with a witty and sly statement about this time in most threads. But here I am learning, listening and yes, putting in my 2 cents for whatever it is worth. I dislike the fact that I am learning from another person's pain but I do appreciate the chance to learn.

[azza33]

I won't comment too much in this interesting topic.

Unfortunately something went wrong with my DNA and i'm incapable of long-term relationships.

Personally to be in it long-term i'd need an ultra passable ladyboy. How many of you guys have woken up next to the partner in the morning...
taken a good hard look and said you are happy with what you see. The illusion of femininity is removed in the cold hard light of day. Superficial i know, but i know what i like. I suspect there are many guys in the forums that just do ST with the ladies as it makes them feel more comfortable in their own skin.

To answer the question - is it possible? Yes. But it will take 2 very patient and dedicated persons to make it work.

[pacman]

(rxpharm @ Jun. 24 2012,06:57) In 2004 she wrote a goodbye letter, saying her family was putting too much pressure on her for financial demands, and she didn't want to ask for more to support them.

After so much time together & after so much money spent on her, this is how she ends it? This doesn't make the slightest bit of sense to me. If she was in any way committed to your relationship, she would have at least have confided in you & told you how much she needed. But to just presume that you wouldn't help & she had decided to drop you in order to find the money.... naah, it's another one of their stories.

You were dumped RX & this is her way of justifying it. Sounds like she found a bigger or better fish to fry.

At least I hope she did because logically, if she didn't, then she turned her back on you to go on the game. And that sounds implausible too. But we will never understand Thai logic, the Thais I know are a world unto themselves. And they are utterly incapable of saying anything that would embarrass anyone so they spin their fantasy stories in order to maintain face for everyone.

Now with more experience behind me, I know it is quite common, and I also found out later her mother had a gambling problem that added further complications.

In any other society mother would be brought to task over her addiction but not in LOS. How they tolerate this shit with no one ever being dragged into line is a mystery. And the LB offspring is just expected to keep funding the old bitch regardless. Another passion killer in my book.

[rxpharm]

pacman - that's what I thought as well, but as I mentioned there's more to the story.

The epilogue:

In 2006, I had a phone call from Aey - she totally surprised me. I had been in touch with a one of her friends - a non p4p lb who has emigrated to the US and was working as a hotel assistant manager. She had passed my contact details to Aey on request.

It turns out that Aey had been feeling guilty about disappearing and wanted to explain to me what happened and ask forgiveness.

Shocking - isn't it that we assume that they're cold hearted non-feeling gold-diggers who calculate how to extract the maximum baht from us - but as I've mentioned generalizations don't always hold true.

She told me she moved to the UK and studied at Vidal Sassoon Hair Styling Academy. She had entered into a civil partnership with a well to do guy - who didn't know she was an lb until later. She told me she had to disappear, as her family wanted to extract more $$$, having met me. She felt this was getting to be too much stress, and decided to make a major change, which involved going to the UK. She also put her family on a strict allowance - only 10k baht a month, far less than she was giving them before.

She's been very successful at hair styling - having worked London and New York fashion weeks. In case you're thinking she was setting me up for sponsoring again - she has not asked for anything, other than wanting to stay in contact as friends.

[TEXASMAC]

azza, your comment I find intersesting...

Unfortunately something went wrong with my DNA and i'm incapable of long-term relationships.

Personally to be in it long-term i'd need an ultra passable ladyboy. How many of you guys have woken up next to the partner in the morning...
taken a good hard look and said you are happy with what you see. The illusion of femininity is removed in the cold hard light of day. Superficial i know, but i know what i like. I suspect there are many guys in the forums that just do ST with the ladies as it makes them feel more comfortable in their own skin.

My problem is I have that with LB or GG. I dont mean to be a butterfly but after about 2 days I want ME time.

[pacman]

(rxpharm @ Jun. 28 2012,06:34) pacman - that's what I thought as well, but as I mentioned there's more to the story.

You thought it, I thought it but one of us doesn't want to believe it...

It turns out that Aey had been feeling guilty about disappearing and wanted to explain to me what happened and ask forgiveness.

That's nice. After all you did for her, all the money that you spent, she must have had a few sleepless nights thinking about what a low act she pulled on you. She must have felt very confident you would forgive her because there is no way on earth she would have rung you to cop a blast.

Shocking - isn't it that we assume that they're cold hearted non-feeling gold-diggers who calculate how to extract the maximum baht from us - but as I've mentioned generalizations don't always hold true.

I agree with you about generalisations, they are a necessary evil we turn to when trying to describe nationalities or races or religions, etc. (I bristle at some of the generalisations used to describe Australians.)

But as far as generalisations go, there are few more apt than the one you use above to describe LBs. Going by her treatment of you, Aey ticks all the boxes. Cold hearted - check, non-feeling - check, gold-digger - they ALL fit that category! You forgot to mention ignorant, liars, superstitious, xenophobic, arrogant & bloody minded.

Of course now that Aey has been exposed to life in the west, those last few don't apply. Or at least I would hope not. Education does broaden the mind but some traits are ingrained. The apple does not fall far from the tree as I was taught.

She had entered into a civil partnership with a well to do guy - who didn't know she was an lb until later.

Ahhh... enter the bigger fish...  I don't suppose she mentioned when she met this guy? Not that it matters, she wouldn't say anything that might make her look bad. And "he didn't know she was an lb"?

Does that make him acceptable because you did know she was lb? We know they all want to deny their past. Once they have the cut they want to move on as if their past never existed. I wonder how important it was to her that he wasn't part of her past?

She told me she had to disappear, as her family wanted to extract more $$$, having met me. She felt this was getting to be too much stress, and decided to make a major change, which involved going to the UK.

And after you met her family, what would Aey have done if you had offered her "anything she wanted"? More money, more of everything? But it wouldn't have mattered, this wasn't about more money, it was her way of justifying her moving on. Dumping you in the nicest possible way.

You served your purpose, she could now speak decent English, she was now able to cope on her own & well able to find "a well-to-do man" who could replace the money flow to the family.

In case you're thinking she was setting me up for sponsoring again - she has not asked for anything, other than wanting to stay in contact as friends.

The only thing that I am thinking of is the proverb about leopards & their spots. But I am sure it is nice for you to have her back as a friend, I know you were very fond of her.

And she would be way too smart to go asking you for anything...             at least not yet...           

[rxpharm]

ahh - paccers, ever the optimist I see!

Something your observations cannot explain - why did she re-establishment contact with me 2 years after disappearing - and why did she ask for forgiveness?

If she really is a cold hearted, calculating gold digger - she should have not bothered, and continued on fleecing her latest "victim".

One big disadvantage if she continued on with me is that I had met her mother. If she attempted to restrict their allowance to the 10K baht/month her family likely would not have accepted it as long as she was in LOS, and still with me.

It really is amazing how much pressure the families put on lbs to support them, and even worse if a gambling habit is involved. Isaan families seem to be the epitome of this.

[TEXASMAC]

Dumb question but I have to ask. Do the families of the GG's expect them to support the family the way the LB's face the pressure?

[pacman]

There you are RX, I was starting to worry you had left the building...

I did get a bit carried away on my last post but having written it, I thought I would hang it out there to see the reaction. Except there was none...

It was my Foxxee-lite moment but my intention was to advance the thread... even if I did fall into the generalisation trap...        

As to why Aey contacted you, I suspect she had time to reflect on decent people she had met since moving out of LOS & you came up trumps.

Our favourite girls from Issan face many challenges not the least is providing for their ever demanding families. It is incredible that they cope with all that life throws at them as well as they do & still manage to be beautiful & intelligent. Plus sweet, charming & sexy.

There ya go RX, how's that for a 180 degree turn-around? Who called me a hypocrite?      

[azza33]

(TEXASMAC @ Jun. 28 2012,11:00) azza, your comment I find intersesting...


My problem is I have that with LB or GG. I dont mean to be a butterfly but after about 2 days I want ME time.

Tex you are not alone.

I am the same as you and 2 days is long enough - even if i really like them.

[Torurot]

I prefer the previous Packers.... where did he go... "Me Time"? Isn't that why you pay them to leave so you can have all day to yourself. They may not want to spend all day with you either, unless some extra Bhat are in the frame, But not everyone wants or need "me time". I've had plenty of great times with a girl who want s to stay all day/night and do "stuff" apart from sex all day/night. Guess it depends on who you are picking for your pleasure and quite a lot of "up to you".