How to "fall in love"

[Monkey]

leave it be and don't bump it then

*doh! now I gone and done it*

[SwoonTV]

don't say BUMP to a lady!

[doug]

(Monkey @ Dec. 31 2007,18:48) leave it be and don't bump it then

*doh! now I gone and done it*

Well, now that it's been bumped by someone else, I won't feel bad about post on it again.  Besides, everyone seems to love hate'n on this thread, but I say, "don't hate the playa, hate the game!"




But before I get back to boring you all with my "ficticious" exploits, I thought I'd remind you all of why I deem privacy to be the FIRST concern when dealing with these lovely succubi of chaos that we call "ladyboys".

Remember that Patpong rant I wrote where I said the one "good" thing about my CRAPPY Patpong experience was that I ran into a seemingly nice and normal ladyboy working out of KC3?

Yeah, well, I gave her my cellphone number and we've exchanged a few SMS messages.  Mostly her saying she'd like to meet, and me saying "I'm busy".  Well, I AM busy.  It's the fucking holidays after all, and between all the extra work and all the partying and family/friend gatherings, I barely have a minute to spare for my actual girlfriend, much less some random ladyboy I talked with for ONE HOUR in a GO-GO BAR several weeks ago.

I mean, seriously, the whole time I was in there all she did was point out other girls for me and then I left to go FUCK SOMEONE ELSE, so does that qualify as a "romantic first date" in your mind?  Apparently it does in hers.

So over the New Year's weekend, she sends me some SMS messages saying she'd like to meet me for drinks with her friends at a regular bar.  I'm like, "Maybe, but I'm very busy, so probably not.  I'll call you if I can make it over there, but I DOUBT IT."

I didn't.  I was busy watching a movie with my girlfriend and so I'd shut my phones off for the night.

The next day, I turn my phone on and get her SMS from the night before.  My phone is low on battery and I get crap signal at work, but I call her anyway to say "hi".  She's out at some party, it's noisy and I can barely hear anything she says before my phone cuts out.  But I did manage to say, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'LL CALL YOU LATER, BYE!"

So the next day when I finally get around to charging my phone, here's what's in my SMS inbox:

KC3, 21:43:  Hey doug, can I have fun with you?

KC3, 23:47: Doug, I thinking I try to enjoy with u already, if u don't me disturb, why u don't tell me? Thank u, i shouldn't care u really, u make me hate u so much, i hurt to enjoy with u, anyway i hope not to see u again, i thinking ur good, but u only ugly guy.

KC3, 00:06: I never hate people like u like this before, and don't i will angry and hate like this, i thinking i care u for enjoy with as, im wrong? To like u? Tell me? Only this i touch u already, u r ugly with me so much.

First, I want to say how difficult it was for me to share this with you.  I'm holding back the tears as I type, this is so heartbreaking for me   , I'm mean, she just DUMPS me like that after all the good times we...  um... wait a minute...  I didn't even buy her so much as a ladydrink and i was in-and-out of KC3 in under an hour.  WTF is she SMOKING?

Heaven forbid I'd actually be busy with my REAL friends and forget to pack my phone charger with me so I could keep in touch with every random ladyboy I've had a CONVERSATION with in the last six months.  Geesh, I'd expect a few SMS's like that from a psychotic, overly-jealous girlfriend/gig, but a random one-drink companion in a go-go bar?

So there you have it guys.  She seemed nice in the bar, but given the slightest provocation, the claws come out.

Now imagine if you will, if I had pulled a SamplerDoc and dated this crazy girl AND made the double mistakes of giving her my real cellphone number AND showing her where I really lived.

Instead of three psycho messages left on the SMS of a phone I only use when I'm a whore-mongering playboy, I might have had her ringing up my office phone and bad mouthing me to my co-workers.  Or worse, showing up drunk in the middle of the night, waking up my neighbors with screeches and curses.

Protecting your privacy is almost, if not more, important than wearing a condom when dealing with bargirls of any sort, and ladyboys especially.  You don't need to wear a condom just to talk to these girls (unless you're an excessively paranoid nutjob), but you do need to protect your privacy all the time.

Because one minute she could be the sweetest little darling you've ever met, and the next minute she could be outside your apartment tripped out on a bad batch of hormones.

Thai people never forget and never forgive a loss of face.  It's permanent.  You lose it once, and it's gone forever.  Anyone considering a long-term stay in Thailand should heed my warning, because there may come a time in the future when you decide you want to actually care about what Thai people think about you, and if you've already fucked up your rep by then, it'll be too goddamned bad for you.  

And maybe you short-timers think my advice doesn't apply to you because you have that "tourist's aura" of invulverability to gossip (after all, none of it will get back home to people who matter to you).  You'd be wrong.  Privacy is just as important to someone passing through as it is to a long-term expat.

Just the other night I met a guy who was getting an endless amount of grief from some bargirl he'd barfined the night before, but who'd followed him to a "real bar" because he'd been stupid enough to tell her that's where he was going (never expecting she'd show up and act like a jealous girlfriend, what a N00B!).

So the poor sap had to sit there at the bar while this out-of-place-dressed skank (we were at a pretty swanky joint and this girl was dressed in Louis-V'Slut) went off on a full volume tirade about him being a "butterfly" and "why he go with another girl and not pay her barfine again", etc....  What a way to ring in the new year, eh?  Who needs that kind of hassle on your holiday?  He eventually got her to piss off, but his night was OVER as far as that pub was concerned.   Up until she walked in, he had been having some luck chatting up a nice looking college co-ed, but after the floor-show he unwillingly treated the other patrons to, the girls in that place treated him as if he had just contracted rabies.

So you see, even on your holiday a bit of privacy can go a long way towards ensuring that you actually enjoy your trip.

[stogie bear]

KC3, 21:43: Hey doug, can I have fun with you?

KC3, 23:47: Doug, I thinking I try to enjoy with u already, if u don't me disturb, why u don't tell me? Thank u, i shouldn't care u really, u make me hate u so much, i hurt to enjoy with u, anyway i hope not to see u again, i thinking ur good, but u only ugly guy.

KC3, 00:06: I never hate people like u like this before, and don't i will angry and hate like this, i thinking i care u for enjoy with as, im wrong? To like u? Tell me? Only this i touch u already, u r ugly with me so much.

I'll bet almost all of us who live there have been through that crap.

Nutters!

[Looker]

(stogie bear @ Jan. 03 2008,09:11)    I'll bet almost all of us who live there have been through that crap.

Nutters!

Even without living there
...sms can reach you anywhere

[Monkey]

I'll bet almost all of us who live there have been through that crap.

the fucking lot of 'em are unhinged...

and I bet the guys who haven't been through it yet will do at some point.

[thaibound]

(Looker @ Jan. 02 2008,19:17)

(stogie bear @ Jan. 03 2008,09:11)    I'll bet almost all of us who live there have been through that crap.

Nutters!

Even without living there  
...sms can reach you anywhere  

not if you buy an old used phone at mbk for 1000baht and get a new sim card every time you visit.

of course it also helps to be old, ugly and cheap. that way only about 1 in 3 girls obsess over you.

[ripcurl]

ok ive read this blog/sexual conquest report/advice column

wheres the rest.......what happens next??


what happened to doug?

[stogie bear]

Good questions... I suspect his regular girlfriend is back in town and he's been behaving himself!

[divertwo]

you must not have gotten the word yet in Los, the screen writers are all on strike

[FB-lover!]

(doug @ Dec. 09 2007,19:47) Who's worse?  The guy who chases a 20 year old girl because she looks 13?  Or the guy who chases a 13 year old girl because she looks 20?

...the guy who chases the 13 year old.

[Naang Faa]

One guy has an attraction to the image of a 13yr old.
The other the the image of a 20 yr old...

Do you think Bill Wyman would be so forgiven if Mandy Smith looked her age,13?
x

[FB-lover!]

Well...as a formerly blond haired, blue eyed 13 year old...I wish 'they' would have waited, yes.

[Monkey]

Who's worse? The guy who chases a 20 year old girl because she looks 13? Or the guy who chases a 13 year old girl because she looks 20?

They're as bad as each other imo

If the guy chases the 20yo purely because she looks 13 then he's just a 'legalised paedophile'...

...as for the 13yo who looks like 20, well, she is still only 13 no matter how old she looks. She is still just a kid and will still be a kid in her head (most 20yo's are still fairly immature) no matter how 'mature for her age' she is, and the guy should walk away when he discovers she's 13 (it shouldn't take long to find out)

Just my take...

[FB-lover!]

(Monkey @ Jan. 27 2008,03:59)

...as for the 13yo who looks like 20, well, she is still only 13 no matter how old she looks.