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OK, I hate the bars. Don't like the obnoxious touts on the way in. Don't like the amazon mob flicking me on the back of the head if I don't buy them a ladydrink. Don't like the pushy (and yet still lazy) wait staff. And don't really enjoy the fear of running into a REAL friend or co-worker on my way to the short-time hotel after barfining some well-hung talent.
But mostly my gripe with the bars comes down to two main factors: 1 ) I'm cheap, and 2 ) I'm lazy. Sure, I'll still go to the bars now and then, but mostly as a last resort. There's plenty of ladyboy action going on at Siam Paragon, but that usually requires A LOT of effort and cash (plus there's a much bigger risk of being spotted by someone I know).
So lately I've been entertaining the notion of setting up a long term thing with a regular girl. In the long run it'll be cheaper and less hassle, plus my gf will know where I am at night so she won't worry about accidentally wandering into a gg bar.
I've seen a lot of posts on here about guys taking girls off the market and "marrying" them, and quite frankly, about 85% of these guys sound like naive idiots. Not that "love" isn't possible out of the bar, but the odds against it are so astronomical that you stand a better chance of winning the lottery while getting struck by lightning (twice).
Besides, the potential fallout from a breakup is not something I care to contemplate. Ladyboys can be downright MEAN when they feel they've been wronged, and they don't fight fair at all. Most ladyboys I know could easily kick the shit out of me all by themselves, but of course, Thais never adopted the Western notion of a fair "one-on-one" fight, so if things go sour, you'd have a pretty good chance of getting stomped by your ex and all her "sisters".
Not to mention the fact that she'd probably clear out your apartment and your bank account (if you were foolish enough to give her access), and on the way out she'd probably trash your reputation by telling everyone in the neighborhood that you hang around the handicapped school to give BJs to retarded boys.
Still, shacking up has it's merits. But it has to be done right so as to avoid potential pitfalls.
So here's my excessively-paranoid guide to shacking up with a ladyboy:
Step 0: Before you do this, you'll need to make some initital preparations. Essentially, you're going to be a master spy and create a whole second identity for yourself. This will include:
1 ) A new name. Similar to your own name is fine, in case you forget and accidentally use your real name, she'll just think she misheard you. For example: I might use "Greg" instead of "Doug" (if Doug were my real name).
2) A new phone. A cheap phone and a new SIM card should only run you about 1200 baht.
3) A second apartment on the other side of town. Seriously, this may seem excessive, but there are MANY benefits. First, once you get off Sukhumvit, apartments are relatively cheap (around 3000-5000 baht, which is less than what many guys spend in a go-go bar in a single night), plus the further away from the bar scene you put your girl, the less likely she'll stray back into it. Ice-dealing "friends" and "sisters" aren't going to make the trip all the way up to Lat Prao or Minburi just to pester your lady.
Step 1: Go to a bar (yes, you'll have to suffer the bar scene for a while) with a fair amount of talent. Become a regular there long enough to be able to separate the new talent from the hardened, bitter veterans.
Step 2: Find a girl who is EXACTLY your spec. Don't "settle" for someone who's not 100% perfect, what would be the point in that? You'll then need to take her out a few times. Don't make the BIG mistake of "popping the question" the first time you barfine her. Many girls can have a good night, but then turn out to be psychotic ice-queens. Also, you should shoot for the new talent. Girls who've been in the scene too long tend to be either too jaded or too full of themselves. A girl who's fresh off the farm may be just "trying out" the bar scene and chances are, she'll be looking for a way out that doesn't involve getting a job or going back up country.
Step 3: Once you've found the perfect girl, take her out some place nice and "pop the question". Tell her you'd like to take her out of the bar and set her up someplace nice. Don't push or try to convince. Bad move. She'll either be willing or not. If she's not willing, move on. Don't bother with a girl who still wants to keep one foot in the bar scene and one hand in your wallet.
Step 4: If she seems eager and willing, it's time to lay out the ground rules. Don't be a prick. Just tell her that since you're going to be sponsoring her, you'd like to ensure that she treats you with the proper respect. Many ladyboys end up being "mai nois" to Thai men, so they know the drill, and they're probably expecting some rules and limitations. In fact, if you don't set these down right off the bat, they'll peg you for a sucker and you'll get fleeced. And again, if she gives you any grief about this, just dump her, wait a few weeks for her to forget about you and find some other sap, and then hit the bar again.
Here are some good house-rules to start out with:
1 ) Absolutely no friends, family, "sisters", "brothers", etc... allowed in the apartment. Ever. You're sponsoring HER, not her Thai boyfriend or her ugly flaming queen friends.
2) Absolutely no drugs, Ever. Even if you do drugs yourself , DO NOT get involved long-term with a ladyboy who does. Period. If you do, you're a frigg'n idiot. Period.
3) Set an amount that you'll give her each month. Tell her that's all she's going to get from you, PERIOD. No sick buffalo stories or pleas for money to "go see my mum back home". Tell her that the money you give her is for food, expenses, and whatever else she wants to do with it is her business. If she sends a bit home to mom and dad every month, that's just fine. Make sure it's not a large amount of money, otherwise you'll end up funding a Thai boyfriend and/or a drug habit. Also, don't give it to her all in one lump sum. Tell her you'll give her a weekly allowance. For example, you might tell her you'll give her 10,000 baht a month (2500 weekly). I know, I know, that's NOTHING compared to what she can make in the bars, but that's the point. You're offering a comfortable life outside the bar scene. She'll have enough to live on, a place to stay, and a decent guy to hang out with. You're NOT offering to replace the 30 guys a week she's been fucking up to now. If she's too stupid to leap at a chance to get out of the bar scene, then again, dump her and move on.
4) Tell her that anything you buy for her (like clothes or lingerie) is at your discretion only! Don't let her get the idea in her head that she can plead for a new cell phone every time you come over. You're not sponsoring a second, gold-digging wife, after all. However, it's a good idea to bring over a nice gift every so often, especially if she's being a good girl and making you happy. Try to keep in mind that she's not going to view rent and her allowance as "good enough". You're going to need to sweeten the deal now and then to keep her happy.
5) Keep the place clean. It's the least she can do. True, she wouldn't be working in a bar if she had a decent work ethic, but you just have to lay down the law on this one. Tell her you're not comfortable pushing styrofoam food boxes off the bed before sex and if the place is not neat, you'll just stop paying the rent.
Step 5: Don't abuse the "I pay the rent, I'm the boss" line. Don't be a prick. Think about all the asshole bosses you've ever had in your life, did they really motivate the best effort out of you? I doubt it. If you're really serious about taking her out of the bar scene, then you're going to have to stop treating her like a bar girl too. Don't lose your head, it's a still a business transaction, but hopefully one that's between "friends", not master and slave.
Step 6: Set a time limit. Do this FIRST THING. Tell her, "look, I'll sponsor you for 6 months, guaranteed. After that, we'll see how things are going between us." Setting the time limit right off the bat gives her some motivation to keep you happy, plus it gives you an easy out if things are not going well. You just tell her "honey, the lease is up on this place at the end of the month, you should start looking for a new place to live."
Step 7: Do this for real, or don't do it at all. Don't pretend you're going to sponsor some girl just to lead her on and perhaps get some free sex out of her. This is how all the bitter, jaded veterans are born and it makes life a pain in the ass for the rest of us. If you're going to sponsor a girl, do it right. If not, don't bullshit her. Period.
Step 8: Encourage her to find something productive to do with her life. This is true "sponsorship". Help the girl find some options and skills that don't involve sucking cock (although make sure she keeps your's well-blown). Don't push. Some of these girls are just dead lazy. But if she seems interested, definitely encourage her. Perhaps working in a beauty saloon doing hair or nails, perhaps learning some computing skills (HTML, Office, etc...), perhaps dropping 5000 baht for a course at Wat Po's massage school. Whatever it is, it'll keep her busy during the day (and out of trouble, btw), and it'll give her the necessary confidence and self-esteem to resist her "sisters" when they try to tempt her back into the bar scene.
OK, I'm sure that this guide is excessively paranoid and maybe a bit too cynical for some of you, but my point is that it's a wise decision to keep a buffer between your personal life and bar life.
Going ga-ga over some bar girl and moving her into your apartment and introducing her to family and friends is a recipe for disaster. Likewise, the bar scene gets tiresome and repetitive after a while.
Not everyone can find an intelligent, hard-working and HOT girl (like Jay, for example), and unless you're going to invest some serious time, effort and cash into finding those rare beauties outside the bar scene, your best bet is to find a happy middle ground.
Take some sweet young ladyboy out of the bar scene, treat her decently and support her as long as she treats you decently too. But do it RIGHT, and by that I mean, take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and your "real" life from any negative fallout after a break-up.
After six months, if things are going well, then maybe consider moving her into your "real life". If not, send her on her way, hopefully better off than when you found her. If she goes back to the bars, oh well, that'll happen. But if she moves on to real work, then you've done a good deed and hopefully that'll balance your karma
.
But mostly my gripe with the bars comes down to two main factors: 1 ) I'm cheap, and 2 ) I'm lazy. Sure, I'll still go to the bars now and then, but mostly as a last resort. There's plenty of ladyboy action going on at Siam Paragon, but that usually requires A LOT of effort and cash (plus there's a much bigger risk of being spotted by someone I know).
So lately I've been entertaining the notion of setting up a long term thing with a regular girl. In the long run it'll be cheaper and less hassle, plus my gf will know where I am at night so she won't worry about accidentally wandering into a gg bar.
I've seen a lot of posts on here about guys taking girls off the market and "marrying" them, and quite frankly, about 85% of these guys sound like naive idiots. Not that "love" isn't possible out of the bar, but the odds against it are so astronomical that you stand a better chance of winning the lottery while getting struck by lightning (twice).
Besides, the potential fallout from a breakup is not something I care to contemplate. Ladyboys can be downright MEAN when they feel they've been wronged, and they don't fight fair at all. Most ladyboys I know could easily kick the shit out of me all by themselves, but of course, Thais never adopted the Western notion of a fair "one-on-one" fight, so if things go sour, you'd have a pretty good chance of getting stomped by your ex and all her "sisters".
Not to mention the fact that she'd probably clear out your apartment and your bank account (if you were foolish enough to give her access), and on the way out she'd probably trash your reputation by telling everyone in the neighborhood that you hang around the handicapped school to give BJs to retarded boys.
Still, shacking up has it's merits. But it has to be done right so as to avoid potential pitfalls.
So here's my excessively-paranoid guide to shacking up with a ladyboy:
Step 0: Before you do this, you'll need to make some initital preparations. Essentially, you're going to be a master spy and create a whole second identity for yourself. This will include:
1 ) A new name. Similar to your own name is fine, in case you forget and accidentally use your real name, she'll just think she misheard you. For example: I might use "Greg" instead of "Doug" (if Doug were my real name).
2) A new phone. A cheap phone and a new SIM card should only run you about 1200 baht.
3) A second apartment on the other side of town. Seriously, this may seem excessive, but there are MANY benefits. First, once you get off Sukhumvit, apartments are relatively cheap (around 3000-5000 baht, which is less than what many guys spend in a go-go bar in a single night), plus the further away from the bar scene you put your girl, the less likely she'll stray back into it. Ice-dealing "friends" and "sisters" aren't going to make the trip all the way up to Lat Prao or Minburi just to pester your lady.
Step 1: Go to a bar (yes, you'll have to suffer the bar scene for a while) with a fair amount of talent. Become a regular there long enough to be able to separate the new talent from the hardened, bitter veterans.
Step 2: Find a girl who is EXACTLY your spec. Don't "settle" for someone who's not 100% perfect, what would be the point in that? You'll then need to take her out a few times. Don't make the BIG mistake of "popping the question" the first time you barfine her. Many girls can have a good night, but then turn out to be psychotic ice-queens. Also, you should shoot for the new talent. Girls who've been in the scene too long tend to be either too jaded or too full of themselves. A girl who's fresh off the farm may be just "trying out" the bar scene and chances are, she'll be looking for a way out that doesn't involve getting a job or going back up country.
Step 3: Once you've found the perfect girl, take her out some place nice and "pop the question". Tell her you'd like to take her out of the bar and set her up someplace nice. Don't push or try to convince. Bad move. She'll either be willing or not. If she's not willing, move on. Don't bother with a girl who still wants to keep one foot in the bar scene and one hand in your wallet.
Step 4: If she seems eager and willing, it's time to lay out the ground rules. Don't be a prick. Just tell her that since you're going to be sponsoring her, you'd like to ensure that she treats you with the proper respect. Many ladyboys end up being "mai nois" to Thai men, so they know the drill, and they're probably expecting some rules and limitations. In fact, if you don't set these down right off the bat, they'll peg you for a sucker and you'll get fleeced. And again, if she gives you any grief about this, just dump her, wait a few weeks for her to forget about you and find some other sap, and then hit the bar again.
Here are some good house-rules to start out with:
1 ) Absolutely no friends, family, "sisters", "brothers", etc... allowed in the apartment. Ever. You're sponsoring HER, not her Thai boyfriend or her ugly flaming queen friends.
2) Absolutely no drugs, Ever. Even if you do drugs yourself , DO NOT get involved long-term with a ladyboy who does. Period. If you do, you're a frigg'n idiot. Period.
3) Set an amount that you'll give her each month. Tell her that's all she's going to get from you, PERIOD. No sick buffalo stories or pleas for money to "go see my mum back home". Tell her that the money you give her is for food, expenses, and whatever else she wants to do with it is her business. If she sends a bit home to mom and dad every month, that's just fine. Make sure it's not a large amount of money, otherwise you'll end up funding a Thai boyfriend and/or a drug habit. Also, don't give it to her all in one lump sum. Tell her you'll give her a weekly allowance. For example, you might tell her you'll give her 10,000 baht a month (2500 weekly). I know, I know, that's NOTHING compared to what she can make in the bars, but that's the point. You're offering a comfortable life outside the bar scene. She'll have enough to live on, a place to stay, and a decent guy to hang out with. You're NOT offering to replace the 30 guys a week she's been fucking up to now. If she's too stupid to leap at a chance to get out of the bar scene, then again, dump her and move on.
4) Tell her that anything you buy for her (like clothes or lingerie) is at your discretion only! Don't let her get the idea in her head that she can plead for a new cell phone every time you come over. You're not sponsoring a second, gold-digging wife, after all. However, it's a good idea to bring over a nice gift every so often, especially if she's being a good girl and making you happy. Try to keep in mind that she's not going to view rent and her allowance as "good enough". You're going to need to sweeten the deal now and then to keep her happy.
5) Keep the place clean. It's the least she can do. True, she wouldn't be working in a bar if she had a decent work ethic, but you just have to lay down the law on this one. Tell her you're not comfortable pushing styrofoam food boxes off the bed before sex and if the place is not neat, you'll just stop paying the rent.
Step 5: Don't abuse the "I pay the rent, I'm the boss" line. Don't be a prick. Think about all the asshole bosses you've ever had in your life, did they really motivate the best effort out of you? I doubt it. If you're really serious about taking her out of the bar scene, then you're going to have to stop treating her like a bar girl too. Don't lose your head, it's a still a business transaction, but hopefully one that's between "friends", not master and slave.
Step 6: Set a time limit. Do this FIRST THING. Tell her, "look, I'll sponsor you for 6 months, guaranteed. After that, we'll see how things are going between us." Setting the time limit right off the bat gives her some motivation to keep you happy, plus it gives you an easy out if things are not going well. You just tell her "honey, the lease is up on this place at the end of the month, you should start looking for a new place to live."
Step 7: Do this for real, or don't do it at all. Don't pretend you're going to sponsor some girl just to lead her on and perhaps get some free sex out of her. This is how all the bitter, jaded veterans are born and it makes life a pain in the ass for the rest of us. If you're going to sponsor a girl, do it right. If not, don't bullshit her. Period.
Step 8: Encourage her to find something productive to do with her life. This is true "sponsorship". Help the girl find some options and skills that don't involve sucking cock (although make sure she keeps your's well-blown). Don't push. Some of these girls are just dead lazy. But if she seems interested, definitely encourage her. Perhaps working in a beauty saloon doing hair or nails, perhaps learning some computing skills (HTML, Office, etc...), perhaps dropping 5000 baht for a course at Wat Po's massage school. Whatever it is, it'll keep her busy during the day (and out of trouble, btw), and it'll give her the necessary confidence and self-esteem to resist her "sisters" when they try to tempt her back into the bar scene.
OK, I'm sure that this guide is excessively paranoid and maybe a bit too cynical for some of you, but my point is that it's a wise decision to keep a buffer between your personal life and bar life.
Going ga-ga over some bar girl and moving her into your apartment and introducing her to family and friends is a recipe for disaster. Likewise, the bar scene gets tiresome and repetitive after a while.
Not everyone can find an intelligent, hard-working and HOT girl (like Jay, for example), and unless you're going to invest some serious time, effort and cash into finding those rare beauties outside the bar scene, your best bet is to find a happy middle ground.
Take some sweet young ladyboy out of the bar scene, treat her decently and support her as long as she treats you decently too. But do it RIGHT, and by that I mean, take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and your "real" life from any negative fallout after a break-up.
After six months, if things are going well, then maybe consider moving her into your "real life". If not, send her on her way, hopefully better off than when you found her. If she goes back to the bars, oh well, that'll happen. But if she moves on to real work, then you've done a good deed and hopefully that'll balance your karma
.
I'm one of them then 
...... 
(unless u are really in love, but hey it can happen to anyone, MAYBE even BILLY!).. 
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