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OK, let me first start out by qualifying a few things:
1) Nothing in this post should be read as a criticism of the new Guess bar. If you think I'm criticizing that place, you misunderstand me and need to learn to speak fucking English
.
2) I've never been to the Guess bar (but I'll probably get there eventually), so anything I say about it is based entirely on photos and comments I've seen here. If I'm wrong, oh well, sue me
.
OK, disclaimers out of the way, here's what I want to say:
The fact that everyone's making such a big deal out of the new Guess bar doesn't really mean that it's all that fucking amazing, rather, it just points out how sad and pathetic the "nightlife" options are in Thailand.
Guess looks like a nice place, and I wish Jay all the luck she can get, because that place deserves to succeed. However, if you took that place and opened it in practically any other city in the world, it'd be an decent, but average, joint.
Here in Bangkok, though, it looks like a fucking swanky hi-so club, only because the other options are sooo bad they'd make a graveyard-shift at Denny's look more entertaining.
Nana's a fucking fire trap, and anyone going in there is just asking to have their drink spiked, their wallet lifted, and some yaa-baa crazed psycho waking up their neighbors the next morning screaming, "You pay me song pan baht or I cut you!"
Patpong is worse, because you can't even get into the place without running the gamut of touts, tuk-tuk drivers, and arm-grabbing doormen.
Then there's Soi Cowboy, which is just fucking amazing,.... if 40 year-old, pot-bellied, battle-weary, and toothless women are your thing.
I just don't get it.
I mean, collectively, as a group we come here with WAY more money (relatively speaking) than the average Thai or Chinese business man, and yet the places they frequent are fucking palaces compared to our options.
A drive up Ratchaphisek proves my point. They have huge hotels with clean rooms that usually have jacuzzi baths and lots of mirrors.
We get dark, seedy shit-holes, roach/rat-infested short-time rooms with cum-stained mattresses, and the RUDEST FUCKING THAI PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!
How many times have you gone into a place and been mobbed by a bunch of pushing amazons who get pissed off if you don't immediately barfine them (I mean, if I actually want to sit in the bar, watch the show and relax with a drink, they are fucking shocked!).
And how many times has some pushy, obnoxious waitress stuck her hand out for a tip, after breaking her back bringing you a fucking napkin.
Just the other day, some ladyboy at Obsessions started rubbing my head as I walked through the door. I've lived in Thailand long enough to know that's just about the rudest fucking thing a Thai person can do to you and I damn near punched her for it. When I told her to knock it off, she got all snotty about it, like she felt she had the right to do any goddamn thing she wanted to me because I was just a fucking walking ATM and didn't deserve the barest minimum of respect that would be given to a fucking bum on the street.
So I have to wonder, why the fuck do we put up with this crap? I mean, I realize most guys are coming here just to get pissed and get fucked, but COME ON. Those shit-holes are taking in half-a-million baht (or more) a week, the least they could do is give us decent service, a cool atmosphere, and clean sheets.
I shouldn't have to wipe some guy's vomit off the seat before I sit down (or have the staff give me a dirty look for insisting that they do it). I shouldn't have to risk breaking my neck to climb some dark, unlit staircase just to find a smelly, shit-stained toilet in a shabby little closet.
Some of us post regularly on other forums, some of us have travel websites (or porn websites
), and some of us have blogs or write columns for other people's sites.
I say we start a mass "re-education" campaign on the internet. We start spreading the word that we SHOULD get A LOT more for our money, and the standard in Bangkok/Pattaya should no longer be acceptable.
Let's start encouraging people to vote with their wallets and avoid the shit-holes. Maybe some day someone will get a clue and tear down Nana and put up a really nice place instead. Same services, of course, but it should be as clean as a fucking shopping mall, with fountains, and Vegas-style neon displays, and porters to carry our bags to the 4-star hotel out back, and decent restaurants, and GOOD nightclubs with international quality DJs, and kickass bars with 20 billard tables (with plenty of room for them) and hard-rocking live bands that DON'T play Hotel California!
Is that too much to ask? Fuck no. That'd be the bare minimum. Given the amount of money these fucking mafia-types make from the bar-fines, bar rentals, alcohol sales, and short-time hotel rates, that should be the barest minimum of what we should get.
Yeah, this is a rant, so I don't expect much, but at least I can get it off my chest.
Again, no offense to the Guess bar, but if that place is so fucking amazing, then it's because everything else is a fucking waste of time.
I propose a massive boycott of every shit hole in Thailand until they fucking clean up their act and start giving us our money's worth.
What say you, gents? Who's with me! (John Belushi-ish "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" and charge out of the room!)
1) Nothing in this post should be read as a criticism of the new Guess bar. If you think I'm criticizing that place, you misunderstand me and need to learn to speak fucking English
.2) I've never been to the Guess bar (but I'll probably get there eventually), so anything I say about it is based entirely on photos and comments I've seen here. If I'm wrong, oh well, sue me
.OK, disclaimers out of the way, here's what I want to say:
The fact that everyone's making such a big deal out of the new Guess bar doesn't really mean that it's all that fucking amazing, rather, it just points out how sad and pathetic the "nightlife" options are in Thailand.
Guess looks like a nice place, and I wish Jay all the luck she can get, because that place deserves to succeed. However, if you took that place and opened it in practically any other city in the world, it'd be an decent, but average, joint.
Here in Bangkok, though, it looks like a fucking swanky hi-so club, only because the other options are sooo bad they'd make a graveyard-shift at Denny's look more entertaining.
Nana's a fucking fire trap, and anyone going in there is just asking to have their drink spiked, their wallet lifted, and some yaa-baa crazed psycho waking up their neighbors the next morning screaming, "You pay me song pan baht or I cut you!"
Patpong is worse, because you can't even get into the place without running the gamut of touts, tuk-tuk drivers, and arm-grabbing doormen.
Then there's Soi Cowboy, which is just fucking amazing,.... if 40 year-old, pot-bellied, battle-weary, and toothless women are your thing.
I just don't get it.
I mean, collectively, as a group we come here with WAY more money (relatively speaking) than the average Thai or Chinese business man, and yet the places they frequent are fucking palaces compared to our options.
A drive up Ratchaphisek proves my point. They have huge hotels with clean rooms that usually have jacuzzi baths and lots of mirrors.
We get dark, seedy shit-holes, roach/rat-infested short-time rooms with cum-stained mattresses, and the RUDEST FUCKING THAI PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!
How many times have you gone into a place and been mobbed by a bunch of pushing amazons who get pissed off if you don't immediately barfine them (I mean, if I actually want to sit in the bar, watch the show and relax with a drink, they are fucking shocked!).
And how many times has some pushy, obnoxious waitress stuck her hand out for a tip, after breaking her back bringing you a fucking napkin.
Just the other day, some ladyboy at Obsessions started rubbing my head as I walked through the door. I've lived in Thailand long enough to know that's just about the rudest fucking thing a Thai person can do to you and I damn near punched her for it. When I told her to knock it off, she got all snotty about it, like she felt she had the right to do any goddamn thing she wanted to me because I was just a fucking walking ATM and didn't deserve the barest minimum of respect that would be given to a fucking bum on the street.
So I have to wonder, why the fuck do we put up with this crap? I mean, I realize most guys are coming here just to get pissed and get fucked, but COME ON. Those shit-holes are taking in half-a-million baht (or more) a week, the least they could do is give us decent service, a cool atmosphere, and clean sheets.
I shouldn't have to wipe some guy's vomit off the seat before I sit down (or have the staff give me a dirty look for insisting that they do it). I shouldn't have to risk breaking my neck to climb some dark, unlit staircase just to find a smelly, shit-stained toilet in a shabby little closet.
Some of us post regularly on other forums, some of us have travel websites (or porn websites
), and some of us have blogs or write columns for other people's sites.I say we start a mass "re-education" campaign on the internet. We start spreading the word that we SHOULD get A LOT more for our money, and the standard in Bangkok/Pattaya should no longer be acceptable.
Let's start encouraging people to vote with their wallets and avoid the shit-holes. Maybe some day someone will get a clue and tear down Nana and put up a really nice place instead. Same services, of course, but it should be as clean as a fucking shopping mall, with fountains, and Vegas-style neon displays, and porters to carry our bags to the 4-star hotel out back, and decent restaurants, and GOOD nightclubs with international quality DJs, and kickass bars with 20 billard tables (with plenty of room for them) and hard-rocking live bands that DON'T play Hotel California!
Is that too much to ask? Fuck no. That'd be the bare minimum. Given the amount of money these fucking mafia-types make from the bar-fines, bar rentals, alcohol sales, and short-time hotel rates, that should be the barest minimum of what we should get.
Yeah, this is a rant, so I don't expect much, but at least I can get it off my chest.
Again, no offense to the Guess bar, but if that place is so fucking amazing, then it's because everything else is a fucking waste of time.
I propose a massive boycott of every shit hole in Thailand until they fucking clean up their act and start giving us our money's worth.
What say you, gents? Who's with me! (John Belushi-ish "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" and charge out of the room!)
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