SFO customs warning

[jasperblubber2006]

i also had a few spiders and scorpions in my bags, the customs agent was trying to see if he could remove the plastic that sealed the case, the issue isn't so much about an inspection as it was with the manner that the inspection was conducted, it saddens me to tell customs that every single male coming from thailand is not bringing back kiddie porn or drugs.
the officer who directed me to the inspection table left his station just to inspect my belongings, like some one wrote earlier it was apparent that customs had caught the king of porn and now i was going to be exposed.
the sorriest part of this fisco was the attempt to confiscate the beef jerky which i bought at costco and took with me to thailand with me, that was the final straw it was just a pathetic display by some want-a-be punk
jasperblubber

[JackG]

I've been searched 4 out of the last 6 trips. They have been searching any unaccompanied male returning from Thailand and have been looking for photos more than anything else.

[BAM]

(newcomer @ May 16 2006,16:10) Bam,
Having been a Customs Officer in Sydney for 4 years I can enlighten you to some of the inside working of the industry. Without doubt you were not randomly searched. The reason I say this is because you have been searched every time you have come to Australia. You were targeted as a result of information someone gave them or your travel intinerary was unusual. Another possibility is on a previous trip one of the customs officers has put a report in concerning your entry. Unfortunately each time you enter they will look at you because of previous trips. On their computers they have flags that come up if passengers buy cash tickets at the last moment or have transited through known drug countries.

If you are on their suspect lists they have to search you regardless of your story, laundry etc......

As for porno the only things they are interested in is porno with underage children, sex with animals or sex involving violence or degrading acts.

As Thailand is a transit country for heroin and the US is known for cocaine there is a possibility that your intinerary was flagged as suspect.

I certainly don't have a problem with being searched in any country as long as they are polite and follow protocols.

The other area of some concern is there ability to download your SIM card with all your contacts on it. They can then cross reference this with known criminals and see if they match. The information is then kept on file. As well if you have given your mobile number to others who may or may have a questionable background your name will appear on their search database.

Question is do you know the background of all the people in your SIm card or you have given your mobile number to?

Anyway if you have nothing to hide then a few extra minutes making sure our borders are safe is worth the inconvience.

Newcomer, with what you said I must have set off alot of flags from the first time I entered Australia back in 2002. My tickets were purchased through a travel agent in Melbourne by my friend there and sent to me. So here I arrive for the first time this 35 year old guy on a never use passport and I didn't know where I was staying. All I have is the phone number of my friend whom I'm meeting outside the airport. When I pass through Immigration I handed them everything and they see the separate ticket I have to Bangkok for 4 days with me retuning back to Australia. They asked me why I'm going to Bangkok and I said "To check out the place... I always wanted to go to an exciting place!" Well that was it..... I make my way to the baggage area and as I'm waiting for my bags I notice I'm being watched by them... it was so obvious. I get my bags and I'm then taken out of the line and into the Red Room. I didn't know what was going on.. It was all new to me at the time... The same girl that was the one who questioned me when I passed through Immigration walks into the room.. She€™s actually quite good looking young blonde chick. She give me a big smile and says "Hello again" Then she hold up this wand to my face and says "I need to take a swipe" I said "Of what?" thinking she's about to shove that wand up my ass!!! She tells me to take out my wallet and I do... she asks for the top credit card... take it out... and she takes a swipe... then sticks it into the machine looking for drug residue (Coke I would guess) nothing is found. Then again another swipe of just the inside of my wallet... nothing again... then the outside of my bags... nothing again... she then smiles and says "Welcome to Australia" hahahhahaha

It wasn€™t until I left Australia for my 4 day side trip to "check out exciting Thailand" that I knew I was in trouble when I return to Australia in a few days. When I was leaving Australia I walk up to the Immigration counter and hand my passport to the guy... he give me a smile and says "G'day" I say the same... he runs my passport on the computer and it says something about me he€™s reading... the look on his face just totally changed! He then glances up at me with this evil look! I watch him and he slowly goes through every page in my passport and keeps giving me that evil eye.  He then stamps my passport twice.. hands it back to me. I get on the flight and go to Thailand.

4 days later I return to Melbourne and as I walk into the terminal I see this big butchy looking customs woman just standing there... I look at her and she's looking directly at me! I walk down towards Immigration and stop and look back... she's following me! OK now I've just been in LOS and fucked so many girls I'm feeling great and if they want to play a game I'm into having some fun too...  
What they don't know is I knew from the beginning that they were going to be waiting for me and I'm setting them up for loop... when checking in my bags in Bangkok the Qantas girl asked me if I wanted to send my bags directly through to LAX > Toronto... I say "YES!!!" so my bags are put on the BKK to MEL flight and transferred directly to the MEL to LAX flight that I'm about to board in 12 hours. So I pass through Immigration quickly and walk right through the baggage area and since I have no bags to wait for I'm one of the first people to exit the airport... they didn't expect this and this is when it gets crazy hahahahaha The guy won't let me go out... he's says "Where are your bags?" I tell him I don't have any... he says "why not?" I tell him there on there way to Toronto. They then escort me to the Red room and leave me in there alone. They are clearly not ready for me and I€™ve thrown them into a loop.

So here I'm waiting in the Red room alone and my cell phone rings. It's my friend waiting outside. I tell him what€™s going on and at the same time I'm checking out the computers attached to the trace residue detector... there are so many different drugs listed. I noticed that some of the drugs like heroin and coke have different versions listed... "heroin-1" "heroin-2" Then all of a sudden the door opens and in walks the big butchy women and another guy .... She screams at me "GET AWAY FROM THAT!!!" "SHUT THAT PHONE OFF!!!!" Oh shit I was shitting in my pants now... they were really pissed off and I could see I was close to being arrested for when I was doing... She then asks me "where are your bags?" I tell her and she's a bit pissed I have no bags to search... again she wants my wallet and the same swipe this card swipe that card... nothing. She then asked me some questions about why I bought tickets in Australia, etc... then let me go... this was in 2002. In 2003 and 2004 I never had any problems in Australia but did end up getting searched in LAX twice but just quickly....

Last year in 2005 was the big Sydney search. You're right I did have a funny ticket... at the last minute I decided to stay in Thailand a few more days, I called my travel agent who informs me that she can't book me on any direct flights to Melbourne and I will have to go to Sydney and get on a domestic Virgin blue flight to Melbourne.

On the flight down I'm feeling like I'm getting a cold and I don't want my ears to plug up... I've had this happen before and it's very painful as the plane lands!....  so I take the perfectly legal decongestant  Pseudoephedrine. When you take Pseudoephedrine it wires you up somewhat...  and since it's a key ingredient in the making of Meth and Yaba I might have had that 'tweaked out' look  

They did question me about why I changed my ticket to come to Sydney and I told them it was the only way... they are suspicious of anything and everything. The part you said Newcomer about the cell phones well I had 2 on me and they asked me why I have 2? Like I was using one as a decoy or for calling someone special... they took both phone from me and went somewhere with them. I thought they were just testing them for drug residue but now from what you're saying I know they were reading my SIM cards... hahhaha I didn't have anything on the SIM cards!

[post-op lover]

Bam versus Customs. Let's see, who gets paid to use his brains and technical talents for evil, or at least fun and profit. And who couldn't get a job doing something a little more challenging... (Hey no offense to any current or former Customs folks. But, a slave to protocol isn't going to trip up someone who knows the protocols.)

Damn, Bam, you're like a grandmaster playing a simultaneous exhibition against 100 amateurs. Where's the sport in that?

[Torurot]

I support the Agriculture/Quarentine guys 1000% but the Customs people are just a pain in the Arse. If they tried a bit of Chilling rather than Officious SOB in their manner of questioning they might do better.

[Guest]

(Torurot @ May 17 2006,21:11) I support the Agriculture/Quarentine guys 1000% but the Customs people are just a pain in the Arse. If they tried a bit of Chilling rather than Officious SOB in their manner of questioning they might do better.

Sorry to be picky but Customs is the same as Quarantine/Agriculture I think you mean Immigration who check the validity of your passport/visa etc when you talk about attitude right?  

[Bit Beefy]

I loved Australia when i came in Jan... The only 2 things that i had any issues with were the customs/immigration people and the speed limits  

[Guest]

(Bit Beefy @ May 18 2006,20:16) I loved Australia when i came in Jan... The only 2 things that i had any issues with were the customs/immigration people and the speed limits    

I am glad you liked our sunburnt country a land of sweeping plains of rugged mountain ranges and droughts and flooding rains ...

What was wrong with our speed limits BB? Bit to fast for you mate

[Guest]

In Australia Customs Officers act as Immigration officers at the border. If there is any referrals then they pass the passenger on to Immigration officers. So the boys in Blue are Customs, Immigration wear balck and white and the ladies and gents in Yellow are Quarantine. The other confusing point is the dogs. quarantine use Beagles as their search dogs and Customs use Labradors as drug dogs. If one of those dogs sniff you and sit down next to you your likely to be in your a long afternoon of questions. By the way not all officers are rude and overbearing, some use their great personal skills to get the information they want.

[Torurot]

>>Sorry to be picky but Customs is the same as Quarantine/Agriculture

Perhaps in Australia. Many other countries they are entirely different departments working in the same physical space. Not to say they don't work in together but not same same. Whether they are nice or other wise NEVER loose your cool with them.

[t-rocks69]

just leave a vibrutator coverd in dark chocolate on top of anything you want to hide. never done this but always wanted to, at least with my carry on just to the the faces of the screener behind the extra machine.

[Guest]

(newcomer @ May 18 2006,20:24) In Australia Customs Officers act as Immigration officers at the border. If there is any referrals then they pass the passenger on to Immigration officers. So the boys in Blue are Customs, Immigration wear balck and white and the ladies and gents in Yellow are Quarantine. The other confusing point is the dogs. quarantine use Beagles as their search dogs and Customs use Labradors as drug dogs. If one of those dogs sniff you and sit down next to you your likely to be in your a long afternoon of questions. By the way not all officers are rude and overbearing, some use their great personal skills to get the information they want.

OK thanks for straightening me out.

I always thought the guys who check my passport on departure and arrival would be immigration as this would make sense to me as this is the first port of call for new arrivals into the country right?

After you collect your bags you go through customs/agriculture who then have the opporutunity to check what you have brought into the country with you?

[stogie bear]

I can only ever remember being stopped once and the search was a quick 'once over' and I was on my way. That was in London. Never been stopped in another country.

[jellybean]

There's something about the route BKK - AMS - EDI customs officers don't like. -

CO: "where did your journey start, sir?"
Me: "Bang..."
CO: "step this way sir"
I don't even get time to get the "kok" out of my mouth before I'm whisked away.
And last time it was only drugs they were looking for a quick rumage and then a whisk with the wand and I was on my way, they did even bother opening my computer bag. - Ho hum

[Guest]

(newcomer @ May 16 2006,16:10) Bam,
Having been a Customs Officer in Sydney for 4 years I can enlighten you to some of the inside working of the industry. Without doubt you were not randomly searched. The reason I say this is because you have been searched every time you have come to Australia. You were targeted as a result of information someone gave them or your travel intinerary was unusual. Another possibility is on a previous trip one of the customs officers has put a report in concerning your entry. Unfortunately each time you enter they will look at you because of previous trips. On their computers they have flags that come up if passengers buy cash tickets at the last moment or have transited through known drug countries.

If you are on their suspect lists they have to search you regardless of your story, laundry etc......

As for porno the only things they are interested in is porno with underage children, sex with animals or sex involving violence or degrading acts.

As Thailand is a transit country for heroin and the US is known for cocaine there is a possibility that your intinerary was flagged as suspect.

I certainly don't have a problem with being searched in any country as long as they are polite and follow protocols.

The other area of some concern is there ability to download your SIM card with all your contacts on it. They can then cross reference this with known criminals and see if they match. The information is then kept on file. As well if you have given your mobile number to others who may or may have a questionable background your name will appear on their search database.

Question is do you know the background of all the people in your SIm card or you have given your mobile number to?

Anyway if you have nothing to hide then a few extra minutes making sure our borders are safe is worth the inconvience.

Thanks for an insight into the inside workings of the industry Newcomer......

On the arrival of my last trip april 2006 is was asked by the female Customs officer at the checkin desk if it was my first trip to Thailand ......HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO....15 trips in 6 years and she asks if it was my first....hahha bloody comedian...i just smiled and said no....

After she stamped my passport a customs guy about 40 asked me what i had been doing in Thailand ...i told him a bit of nightlife , have  a few beers , relax and catch up with some friends ..... white male returning from Bkk i dont think so ......he then said NO what have you been doing in Bkk , "i just told you " i said relaxing an da few beers ........He then told me that anyone who goes to Thailand gos there for one of 3 reasons  SEX , DRUGS or SHOPPING....Then he started to get a little aggressive after i said that if you think i go there for DRUGS or FUCK little boys you have got to be JOKING!!!!!!!!

Then he wanted to know what i was into ....in the mean time he had called his mate over to go through my camera , luckily i had deleted all the ladyboy cock photos and after a bout 5 mins his mate said ok NO prob , camera is ok....

I dont mind being searched but what i find amusing is when these Customs people actually are dissapointed when they dont find anything and then welcome you home to your own country....hahah what  a  joke ....

But the best one was about 3 years ago and this semi attractive white female Customs officer thought she had me ... hahhah anyway after about 20mins she didnt find anything she was going through my dirty laundry bag and found a Flouro Pink Vibrating Dildo hahahh her jaw nearly hit the ground and i was trying hard not to laugh ... then she said ok you will be right to go now sir....

As i left i asked her what she was actually looking for in my suitcase... and she said Drugs , Narcotics and i said to her ...do you think i am that Bloody stupid , grabbed my suitcase and got the hell out of there......

Am going back in 3 weeks so will surly have another interesting Customs story in a few weeks .....

you gotta love it...

just as well they dont know i have a ladyboy boot fetish....hahahha


rex    ...


p.s and one other time i was charged 120 per cent duty on 6 bottles of Singa beer.......i was about 300 mls over the limit and they charged me duty on the whole lot.......

What a draconian society Australia is becoming....then i politely told the 2 something female customs officer that doesnt Common Sence and a Customs Officer have in Common an ddont worry , one day you wont have to worry about me because i WONT be comming home......