SFO customs warning

[Bit Beefy]

(ozzie @ May 18 2006,21:24)

(Bit Beefy @ May 18 2006,20:16) I loved Australia when i came in Jan... The only 2 things that i had any issues with were the customs/immigration people and the speed limits

I am glad you liked our sunburnt country a land of sweeping plains of rugged mountain ranges and droughts and flooding rains ...

What was wrong with our speed limits BB? Bit to fast for you mate    

To Fast? Your having a laugh arent you, i almost nodded off at the wheel you people drive so slow lol....Whats wrong with yetr  100kmph on a motorway, scenary was moving in slow mo    Youd be lucky to find a driver on our motorway doing less than 100mph

As for the customs/immigration people that i had dealings with and the individuals that i saw in action i just found they had no respect for the people that they were dealing with, barking at people like soi dogs and acting as if they are doing you a favour by letting you into there country.... When i stepped out of the airport it was like i had entered a different world.. No disrespect to anyone who was or still is working for customs/immigration but that was my experience.    

[Guest]

(hotrex25 @ May 19 2006,08:03) Thanks for an insight into the inside workings of the industry Newcomer......

On the arrival of my last trip april 2006 is was asked by the female Customs officer at the checkin desk if it was my first trip to Thailand ......HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO....15 trips in 6 years and she asks if it was my first....hahha bloody comedian...i just smiled and said no....

After she stamped my passport a customs guy about 40 asked me what i had been doing in Thailand ...i told him a bit of nightlife , have  a few beers , relax and catch up with some friends ..... white male returning from Bkk i dont think so ......he then said NO what have you been doing in Bkk , "i just told you " i said relaxing an da few beers ........He then told me that anyone who goes to Thailand gos there for one of 3 reasons  SEX , DRUGS or SHOPPING....Then he started to get a little aggressive after i said that if you think i go there for DRUGS or FUCK little boys you have got to be JOKING!!!!!!!!

Then he wanted to know what i was into ....in the mean time he had called his mate over to go through my camera , luckily i had deleted all the ladyboy cock photos and after a bout 5 mins his mate said ok NO prob , camera is ok....

I dont mind being searched but what i find amusing is when these Customs people actually are dissapointed when they dont find anything and then welcome you home to your own country....hahah what  a  joke ....

But the best one was about 3 years ago and this semi attractive white female Customs officer thought she had me ... hahhah anyway after about 20mins she didnt find anything she was going through my dirty laundry bag and found a Flouro Pink Vibrating Dildo hahahh her jaw nearly hit the ground and i was trying hard not to laugh ... then she said ok you will be right to go now sir....

As i left i asked her what she was actually looking for in my suitcase... and she said Drugs , Narcotics and i said to her ...do you think i am that Bloody stupid , grabbed my suitcase and got the hell out of there......

Am going back in 3 weeks so will surly have another interesting Customs story in a few weeks .....

you gotta love it...

just as well they dont know i have a ladyboy boot fetish....hahahha


rex    ...


p.s and one other time i was charged 120 per cent duty on 6 bottles of Singa beer.......i was about 300 mls over the limit and they charged me duty on the whole lot.......

What a draconian society Australia is becoming....then i politely told the 2 something female customs officer that doesnt Common Sence and a Customs Officer have in Common an ddont worry , one day you wont have to worry about me because i WONT be comming home......

Yeah but you look like a drug mule Rex
You should be on their list just for being a Cats supporter

[Guest]

hahah very funny Ozzie    

I am a mule , but the only back i will be riding is  awell hung ladyboy  

and as for my friends in Customs ...........ahhhhhhhh have  a nice day ....

Rex  

[Randyman]

(jellybean @ May 18 2006,14:15) I don't even get time to get the "kok" out of my mouth before I'm whisked away.

Man o man Jellybean;

That's an opening big enough to drive a train through
Randyman

[Guest]

Reading all your experiences with Australian Customs I think one thing is clear: There is no consistency in their approach to passengers. I have witnessed this first hand, where one officer will use common sense for a passenger that has a few too many cigarettes or an extra bottle of grog and those who will charge you for 300 ml of extra alcohol. Its difficult for some people to follow when New Zealand customs allows 2 bottles per pax and then you go to Oz and they only allow 1.25 lts. Thats the joy of our government and lack of consistency with rules and regs.

Funny story a few years back when the famous Mardi Gras Festival was on, attended by a lot of Gay German Guys visiting Sydney. Someone pulled him in for a search and asked him what the reason for his trip was and he said to enjoy Sydney's nightlife and scenery. Officer continued the search of his baggage and found the biggest fucking dildo he had ever seen in his life. It was 12 inches long and 3/4 inches wide. The look on his face must have provided him with humour. If you could only imagine the poor bastard that was going to be on the receiving end of that piece of wood. Ahhhhh Just think of Mint or Ming or Nancy and double the width and length. For some reason Ihe thought it might have drugs inside the thing because it was sooooooooo big. He had to take it over to the x-ray machine and the poor female officer on X-ray nearly passed out. He said cheerfully all clear luv? She could not speak she just nodded...........

So back to the desk and the passenger said is everything okay and the customs officer smiled and said Yes. He said I dont do drugs just arseholes.........ummm well that was the fastest way to exit customs. He also had the most beautiful leather gear and pants with holes in the back. Well you know what I mean.

Bam, you did make a good point about drugs. You have to be completely stupid to carry drugs through an airport. It is the most highly protected border in any country with the technogoly to match. Why do people continue to do it? Well the answer is simply.....money, stupidity and desperation.

Time and time again, and I mean everyday of everyweek of every year some fool turns up and gets busted. Interesting fact is Customs reckons they only catch 10% of the drugs crossing their borders.

One more story before I go................young beautiful lady arrives at airport wearing very brief top showing her very well developed breasts.....ahhh the boys on the floor are in awe, starring and laughing and making jokes. She smiles and winks at them flaunting those beautiful firm breasts and through she goes.........x-rayed bags ,ok bye bye.....happens about 6 -8 times until some bright spark realises she is a frequent traveller. A pissed out female officer after watching the attitude of both the customs Officers and Miss Big Tits pulls her into the room and body searches her only to find 500 grams of cocaine in each bra........ahhh busted. The boys were pissed off no more perving. No bad pyschology so she thought. Opps I forget to add another reason why people bring drugs over the most secure border in the country. GREED.

Why did I leave Customs you may be thinking?

No ladyboys to strip search........and give internal cavity searches

[Guest]

I am sure you are full of great stories. Especially about the how stupid som people can be. I too find it hard to believe people continue to bring prohibited goods deliberately into the country via airports.

Its difficult for some people to follow when New Zealand customs allows 2 bottles per pax and then you go to Oz and they only allow 1.25 lts.

The alcohol allowance for Australia is actually 2.25 L.

Australian Customs

[Guest]

BTW newcomer I am not sure if you aware of this apparent loophole in the Austraian Customs?

Inside Australia you can travel on international flights when travelling domestically i.e Sydney to Melbourne. When you do your boarding pass is given a big orange sticker with a D on it to tell the customs people you are a domestic traveller. These flights usually much cheaper than your usual domestic fare. I did this for a couple of years back and forth and never was checked by customs and always just waived through my baggage not even xrayed.

Anyway if organised your flight so that you arrived about the same time as a friend on an international flight who was carrying prohibited goods in their luggage you could take it from baggage carousel or from them and just walk out with it without being checked.

[Guest]

Yea Ozzie the current alcohol allowance is 2.25 litres in Aus and i have found out there is No tollerance to this measure.....

No wonder i have No Tollerance for our customs officers who treat their own Australian citizens as criminals before they have any evidance ......

Cumming back to our Great land of Draconians is always a lowlight of my trip but you have tohave asence of humor.....

My flouro pink vibtatin dildo has been replaced buy a 14 inch double ended MOSTER, and to see the look on some of these Officers face is priceless wjhen they find the MONSTER inside my dirty jocks and socks.....

Maybe we could make a request for some Thai ladyboy customs officers for our return home to Aus ........hahahah

rex

[Road Runner]

Hello Gents,

As Newcomer has indicated there is very little random these days about who is pulled by Customs. Years ago Customs officers were trained to eyeball people and try to guess who were the ones to pull. It's actually easier than it sounds and the success rate is better than 50%.
In my job I have to deal with the customer complaints - you can see them coming from yards (metres) away!

Today when you book an airline ticket every security agency in several of the world's countries knows the details. When you walk off the plane you have already been dismissed as of no interest or you have an alert against your name. The real problem is when you have been pulled once you tend to get onto the system time and time again. It's not fair but that's how it works.

Phone sim cards? They have to be one of the biggest aids to modern security services

RR.

[Randyman]

Howdy Road Runner;

Been anywhere interesting??

randyman

[Mai-Kee]

They checked me in Amsterdam Feb. 05 - for the first time! Looked for fakes. Unfortunately I always buy all those CD's and DVD's which are out on the streets of BKK even before they are screened in the west. Kinda like that and you always have some days in LOS when you're happy to hang around on your own and enjoy watching MI-3 on your laptop before your friends at home see it in the cinemas. Love it!!!
Ohhh.... yes... I really feel sorry for the majors.... poor guys....this is a bad world!  
So they found about 15 DVD's and 20 CD's.... bummer....well.... this world really goes the wrong way! I remember myself arriving in Europe coming from LOS about 15 years ago with a separate bag full of handbags for mom, sister, girlfriend, watches for the friends and about 50 CD's for me..... and nobody ever gave a shit!
Tell ya..... first they start closing the clubs at times when they actually should open them and now it's this fakes witch-hunt.....wonder when they start closing the LB clubs.... fucking morons!!! I'm really getting pissed!!!

MK

[Guest]

Hey Road Runner,

100% facts in your thread. Let the criminals through who have not come up on the radar and hassle those who have been put on alert for some useless reason.

Thats what our great public servants sitting in Canberra come up with every year. They seem more concerned at how long it takes for people to get through Customs and Immigration than security and border protection issues.

I think its called Facilitation. maybe they should just open the front doors and say off you go......

Hint for you Mai-kee, fly out from London or Paris after you get there by train, bus, tunnel or anything except airplane and take all your fake DVD's and then you won't be questioned.

[Guest]

(newcomer @ May 16 2006,16:10) Bam,
Having been a Customs Officer in Sydney for 4 years I can enlighten you to some of the inside working of the industry. Without doubt you were not randomly searched. The reason I say this is because you have been searched every time you have come to Australia. You were targeted as a result of information someone gave them or your travel intinerary was unusual. Another possibility is on a previous trip one of the customs officers has put a report in concerning your entry. Unfortunately each time you enter they will look at you because of previous trips. On their computers they have flags that come up if passengers buy cash tickets at the last moment or have transited through known drug countries.

If you are on their suspect lists they have to search you regardless of your story, laundry etc......

As for porno the only things they are interested in is porno with underage children, sex with animals or sex involving violence or degrading acts.

As Thailand is a transit country for heroin and the US is known for cocaine there is a possibility that your intinerary was flagged as suspect.

I certainly don't have a problem with being searched in any country as long as they are polite and follow protocols.

The other area of some concern is there ability to download your SIM card with all your contacts on it. They can then cross reference this with known criminals and see if they match. The information is then kept on file. As well if you have given your mobile number to others who may or may have a questionable background your name will appear on their search database.

Question is do you know the background of all the people in your SIm card or you have given your mobile number to?

Anyway if you have nothing to hide then a few extra minutes making sure our borders are safe is worth the inconvience.

Every word newcomer has said is correct and thanks to september 11 will only get woarse rather than easier.
I have worked in security half my life in various levels from the ordinary security guard to us consulate and now airfrieght industry and i can say with out doubt the little things out of place catch many people out.
Everyone e has watched the great escape whenthe train police confront x they slip and english question bang a reponse and really sometimes thats how simple it is.
One of the post was talking about knock offs and porn i am sure if you where a smartarse about the search you would have lost them. If you where carrying boxs of clothes and dvds yes you wouldhave lost them for sure as is not normal,same with clothes. All customs worldwide know tourists are going to bring qanities of these through and they ignore.
As newcomer said they where more than likley working of information rec from police customs airlines or members of the public.
Being from we are under tighter view since corby lesley and the bali nine, just because your going to forgien country do not assume there stupid they are not. They are very good at finding what they want to find and are better at spotting things then you think.

I am supprised at people responce to mobile phones come on people when you buy a new sim card they ask do you want a newer card with tecnh on it you say yes they download the information on to a scanner or hard drive then transfer is as simple as that.
Dirty clothes is no defence bugs etc not either like i said no one dumb they know that you have placed on top for a reason so they prob more curious to see what else, if they have let you through with out a complete search it is more because they have no information on you.

I know when i visit malaysia and i cross over the causeway my passport is flagged on the malaysian end as they ask me personal question how is your friends in malaysia. They know me and know i am a regular traveller into and out from malaysia. Once i was stopped by police to check my passport all the locals on the bus starred at me even before the police asked for my passport i was the only mat sellah on the bus. It was not normal for a white guy (mat sellah) to be on this bus going to mersing then to palu tiomen so i was stopped.

HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE

[Guest]

(t-rocks69 @ May 18 2006,18:32) just leave a vibrutator coverd in dark chocolate on top of anything you want to hide. never done this but always wanted to, at least with my carry on just to the the faces of the screener behind the extra machine.

T-ROCKS I Worked security in the us consulate in sydney we always had search bags and this women bag i was was searching was a bit nervious and i soon found out why. She had this giant dbled end dildo in her bag when i found it and did not react she just gave me a wink when i handed her a ticket for her bag.

My partner a young bloke was trying to get her number now thats fun to see

[Mai-Kee]

(david123au @ May 21 2006,08:11) My partner a young bloke was trying to get her number now thats fun to see  

Hahahaha