Phuket is a craphole. I should know...

[stogie bear]

I caused a thread to veer off topic with my views on Phuket. I'll edit that thread soon but I thought I'd start one just for this...

First off I've never been to Phuket. Secondly, I ain't ever going either...

And here's why...

It's too far away. It means I'll have to get out of my fantastic house, go to an airport (probably Don Mucky) and fly there.

I don't know anyone there and I don't know where to stay.

I don't want to see hoards of drunken 'macho' Aussies all with a chip on their shoulders because they ain't English getting wasted and making a noise. It's just not cricket.

There are nowhere near the same amount of ladyboys as there are where I live and in Pattaya (which is also a lot closer.) The ones that are there seem to jump into a bath of molten 'Watsons' before they go out at night!

I hate tuk tuks and tuk tuk drivers.

I hate scrawny Indian creepy fuckers who think I might be drunk enough to by a badly put together pair of trousers if they can just get that English accent right, by jove!

I don't want to buy anything from anyone.

I don't drink much and I hate beer bars and beaches.

Islands are full of bugs and hippies and the boats that take you there are dangerous.

I don't scuba dive and I like 24/7 internet access.

My pool is cleaner (and less crowded) than their beaches.

My house is more comfortable than their hotels.

The ladyboys I know here in Bangkok know what I like and they know where I live so I don't have to prowl the streets and bars at night hoping to find someone who will jiggle on me after I have bought her and her slut rip off bitches a drink and gone through the fucking horrible routine conversations about where I am from and what my fucking name is.

You ain't gonna change my mind and I already know everything I need to about this skanky shithole which seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of ripping people off and spitting on them on their way back to the airport.

Don't waste your effort saying that it's great and that you have to go to make up your mind. That's bullshit. I know all I need to know about Sierra Leone too and are you gonna recommend that too? How about Iran...

And for the high minded pricks who actually like the place... well if it's that fucking great then just keep it to yourself and enjoy it alone, eh?

[batman4ever]

are we feeling Grumphy today??

then its the wrong profile you logged in with...

[Guest]

Hey SB, I think you should interview for a position on the Chamber of Commerce in Phuket. They need a positive flow of ideas to find new ways to keep ripping us fucking tourists off!!

[pacman]

Stogie's not grumpy, he has a topic he feels passionate about, so he should be feeling the other dwarf, Happy ...      

I read SB's post twice to find there is nothing to really disagree with. He knows the score better than most how LOS operates & his expectations will, for the most part, be met.

What I find different about Phuket & why I will return is the actual holiday experience itself.

I happen to love the local beaches & without the advantage of living in the tropics, I long for the days of rolling out of bed, walking 1 minute to the beach of Patong Bay, where I can spend hours doing all the things I like to do when there.

I never do this in Pattaya.

It's not that I couldn't put up with the silly little strip that passes for a beach or get myself to Jomtien, it's just a different holiday.

For many years I looked forward to the routine of a Phuket holiday. 3 or 4 hours of swimming & tanning & eating tropical fruit & chatting to folks from all over the world (the place is so much chattier than anywhere in LOS) I know the rest of my day exactly.

By lunchtime, the newspapers are delivered & I wander up every day to buy the Herald Tribune. Sitting in my favourite restaurant I have my main meal of the day with or without a guest, sometimes with their free-loading friends, but they are only welcome if they are happy & laughing.

By now I am ready for a nap, again it depends if it is solo or accompanied, maybe some emails or shopping before attending to showering, etc prior to walking 1 minute to Soi Bangla where I am welcomed like a king at any of a dozen bars I made my home over the years.

The problems of Bali have made Phuket the venue of choice for many Australians, making the place problematic for someone well known back home.

This problem was compounded when the attractions of the local katoey became undeniable. Anywhere in Soi Bangla, at anytime of the night, I was likely to meet an acquantance.  Arranging a rendezvous became the only way I could do business.

I even kept a room at the place next door one year when I encountered a group from home who seemed to know everytime I was in the lift. That was the last time I ever booked a package.

From then on the descent into the dark side was inevitable but I still remember the great times I enjoyed in Phuket. I intend to return, hopefully this year, not as my first priority but to recapture the mood of lazy days by the beach.

If that makes me a high-minded prick, then beg my pardon. The outer suburbs of Bangkok don't actually hold all that much appeal either.

It completely depends on your perspective. Phuket will prosper without any of us but should we choose to visit, we should not need to justify it to anyone.

[batman4ever]

i tend to like Phuket... but only for up to a week...

the reason i like it mosly due to the fresh air,and the fact that if you choose the right hotel...you dont need the bloody tuk-tuk`s (that really is a maffia) you have bangla road and the beach withinn 4-5 min walking...

regarding the pricelevel...well somethings LIKE the tuk tuk`s ARE a fucking rip-offs and they should be hanged in the nearest three...all of them...
but for the tailors...well i actually have seen more of them in Pattaya than in Phuket... but all of them can hang in the next three if it was up to mee...

but YES...you have to know your way around to enjoy the place....and avoid the hassle and the lager louts...

but as a "side-tour" to my vacation for 3-4-5 days its okay...



and okay stogie.....NOW you can press the red button...

[Looker]

I've been there once for almost a week and I have mix feelings about. Some parts were enjoyable when others were plainly boring and just overpriced.
From SB's persective, I don't see a flaw in his posting.

[Guest]

stogie i've never met you but your spot on about pooket, bangkok all day for me, then off to the devils playground pattaya, fantastic! keep the faith sb

[katoeylover]

I have been twicwe to Phuket, and both were pre-Tsunami, and i must admit i enjoyed it for a few days, but now i have dicovered Hua Hin, there is little that would have enticed me back, and after Big Micks TR I have definitely no desire now.

[Torurot]

>>Phuket is a craphole. I should know.

It isn't, and you don't. Pattaya is a crap hole. I should know I've been there.

Yes I like like Phuket. Even a cheap Charlie could easily like Phuket. Unlike Pattaya, you can (for those of us that like such things on a holiday) actually swim at one of many beaches on this rather large Island without dying of polluted water. Nor does it it have any Russian mafia. It does have a crap and extortionate "taxi" system. Packs of Lager louts (British, German, Ozzie) haven't quite yet "discovered" Phuket.

[Tomcat]

i last went during the Tsunami so my trip was cut short but i saw enough to go back again. There is a Sunee type area where many fem boys can be found and i found some real Gems... The main bar area was wiped out so i only had a night there but there are plenty of other places to find talent...

It gets the thumbs up from me...no problem. When you need a good relaxathon it seems to be ideal. A change is good as a rest

[ulixes350]

I do agree with Stogie. To me, the best place for ladyboys mongering and, at the same time, relaxing is Pattaya. So far, I have always stayed at Marriott hotel (a quite island in the middle of chaos), but, in the future, I am going to increase the distance between my "peace zone" and my "sex zone": I will stay at "Royal Cliff". I think that this hotel is ideal for my holidays program: enjoying there good sleeping and good services and, all the times I wish, taking a cab, getting to the action area, choosing my ladyboys, taking them back to my room, enjoying them, sending them back to hell, having a good sleep and a good massage... and so on!

[daveduke007]

Been to Phuket 4 times now and enjoyed it every time

[bigmick22]

I'm glad I went once to sample it but have no desire to return

thank God I had "you know who" with me

different strokes for different folks - I share a lot of likes and dislikes with Stogie (apart from the obvious one)

[smeghead_arch]

Stogie you forgot to mention all the muslim fanatics down south thailand !!!

[Guest]

great info for a thai newbie like me, stogie. guess i should stick to pattaya, eh?