Things you never hear in Thailand!

[stogie bear]

Well, this should give some of us a good laugh...

What things do you never hear in Thailand that you might hear at home?

Here are a few that come to mind...

First off... Ladyboys...

"That's way too much... How about we just screw for 1K and call it even?"

"I have a Thai boyfriend and when he's not around I pay Thai rent boys for a good time because frankly you guys just don't do it for me..."

"How long have I been working here? Oh my God... years, love. Actually, I've lost count!"

"Oh, hang on lover... I'll just switch off my mobile!"

Other situations...

"You know... I reckon this meat's off... it just doesn't taste right..."

"Pop out and see what's making the dog bark, love!"

"Here... you take the remote..."

"I could murder a cheese sandwich..."

"Oh, not again... we went shopping yesterday!"

"Bloody hell, it's hot out there!"

I'm sure you can think of better ones than that!

[mardhi]

Food inspectors !!!! never seen one in 3 years of owning a restaurant. Good thing I have an understanding of turning stock over though.

Advance warning signs of upcoming roadworks.

"Its ok, thanks for the offer, but I have a drink already"

"we must analyse this step by step" (as to why your whatever product has broken down)

Extreme cynasism meaning you continually say "show me" whenever tells you something has been done (and then findig out it hasn't).

No depreciation of second hand products in Thailand - I laughed when my of my staff sold a Television of mine to another Thai for more than I had paid for it new - despite the price then falling over the 2 years I had it.

I am sure I will think of more

[katoeylover]

Dont worry about the barfine, i'll sort it tomorrow.

you really dont want to take me tonight

miss you - you're joking right - when are you going home

Its not really your first time here is it?

[Guest]

I did not do what I said I would so forget about paying me

I know the service was horrible so don't worry about the tip

Yes you caught me I was lying

[stogie bear]

"Honestly... who wears flares?"

"I'm not late, am I?"

"...and the pavements are in a terrible state. The council should do something."

"I don't know... using toilet paper as a table napkin just doesn't seem right, somehow"

"That music's way too loud. I can't hear myself think!"

"I don't believe in those silly fortune tellers..."

"Er, waiter... You've got my order wrong!"

"Look left, look right... look left again, and if it's all clear..."

"What do you mean an operation? I look fine as I am, thanks!"

[allstar88]

its snowing

[Snick]

"We should test the software."

"When I went into the back room to change, I talked to all the other girls about you and they said you are a sucker and I can get 4,000 from you if I tell you a sob story."

"I prefer to buy original DVDs and Software"

"Its my Thai Boyfriend on the phone, shut up while I lie to him and say I am at home."

"That food was too spicy."

"God our sidewalks suck."

-------
Pillow Talk:
"I once got 20,000 from a guy telling him my brother and mother were on a bike, hit the family buffalo and had to go to hospital" [ ps. This is verbatim, a 'friend' in Pattaya told me this ]

[Guest]

"We designed this beachfront sidewalk and the paths all along her for roller-bladers, that's why it's so smooth." (Phuket and Pattaya)

"I'm sorry. I don't do handjobs." (massage parlor)

"I don't have change, so I'll just go get some now. Wait for me." (taxi driver)

"Sorry I can't go with you today, because I'm sick." (LB)

[qwerty]

girls and LB's:

"you're a rather average looking guy, now aren't you!"

oh! you hab very small cock!

"you not buttafly- you just hab natural and understandable need for many partners!"


thai workers:

"lets just slow down a moment and think about the best way to fix this, so it wont have to be fixed again in a day."

"i know i could save 1 baht by doing it that way, but doing it the RIGHT way will save more in the long run."

customer service:

"very solly sir! we thought you oreder something else. but it must be our mistake. what can i do to correct the problem and retain your future patronage?."

we're wrong! we're wrong! NO! its our fault!

[allstar88]

burma is a great country,    i like the arabs ,  muslims are cool, thai police are honest,  my mother does not need an operation so there is no need to give me any more money

[stogie bear]

burma is a great country, i like the arabs , muslims are cool

[qwerty]

"let's go outside. i'm so sick of my pasty white skin. i look like a friggin english person!"

[Road Runner]

Do you have any of that suntan in a bottle?

I prefer to use motorbikes.... they're soo much safer.

(In a bar) I'm sorry sir we made a mistake on your bill  -  here's the correct one.

RR.

[TiaoLang]

The tuk tuk drivers are very quiet tonight (especially in Samui).

[SamplerDoc]

Funny stuff