Tweet
I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they dont know Im using blanks.
- Jack Handey
- Jack Handey
-
“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton Myrer -
Lefty,
I love cold, thick rhubard pie!!! My favorite. Not too sweet either. I prefer it on the tart side, mmmmmm yummy! Anyone know if you can find some in Pattaya? And I mean rhubard pie and not tarts.Comment
-
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
JACK HANDEY“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton MyrerComment
-
One day Liza was walking down a country road carrying one of those old metal wash tubs. Rastus was coming the other way toward her carrying a chicken under one arm. As they got close, Liza said to Rastus: "you're not gonna rape me are ya?" Rastus said: How can I rape ya when I'm a carryin' this here chicken?" Liza said: "well, we could put it under this wash tub."“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton MyrerComment
-
I would love to find a good pie shop in Pattaya with rhubarb pie. But do they even have rhubarb in Thailand? I prefer my rhubarb pie on the tart side too.(Steff @ May 18 2010,14:47) Lefty,
I love cold, thick rhubard pie!!! My favorite. Not too sweet either. I prefer it on the tart side, mmmmmm yummy! Anyone know if you can find some in Pattaya? And I mean rhubard pie and not tarts.
Right when I was typing that last sentence, someone with the user name tart_u was logging into YM. I didn't even know I had them on my list. That was weird.“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton MyrerComment
-
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money...“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton MyrerComment
-
I'll never forget the time I got caught stealing watermelons from old Mr. Barnslow's watermelon patch. I was with my friend Bobby. We were giggling so hard I thought I'd wet my pants! At first we tried to steal two watermelons each, but they were too heavy and we dropped them, and that made us laugh even harder. Finally, we each picked out a good one, and we were just about to sneak back through the fence when we heard a low, deep voice behind us. "Just where do you think you're going with those watermelons?" I gulped and turned around. It was old Mr. Barnslow, pointing his shotgun at us. Bobby dropped his watermelon, then pulled out the .38 revolver he kept in his waist, turned, and fired. But the turning must have thrown off his aim, because the shot only hit Mr. Barnslow in the thigh. Mr. Barnslow immediately fired both barrels at Bobby. One blast of buckshot missed entirely, but the other tore into Bobby's shoulder. He tried to fire back, but his shoulder was so torn up he couldn't raise his arm. Just as he was trying to switch to his left hand, Mr. Barnslow ran up and cracked him across the face with the butt of his shotgun. Bobby fell to the ground in a heap. Mr. Barnslow raised the butt of his gun to finish him off, but just then Bobby pulled out his hunting knife and plunged it into the farmer's big white belly. After that, I don't think I stole watermelons for at least a year. ~ Jack Handey“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton MyrerComment
-
2 quick points;
250 million years ago, dolphins looked totally different, were much smaller and were walking around on the land with small feet which now make up their tail and flippers.
Sarah Palin believes men and dinosaurs lived together.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.Comment
-
Proof(JaiDee @ May 18 2010,00:26) Sarah Palin believes men and dinosaurs lived together.
Comment
-
Apricot/Blackberry piesComment
-
Oftentimes you will read on a message board "I could of done...." or "I should of done.....''
Isn't it could HAVE and should HAVE done.....?Even a broken clock is right twice a day.Comment
-
Yes.
What about when people say "For God sakes" rather than "For God's sake" ?Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage
Comment
-
No joking here....I once saw in a letter from my sister-in-law,a TEACHER no less, that she was having a problem with her ''necks store neighbor''.
I mean, I do live out in the sticks now, but that's pure hillbilly education!
True fact; Only 18% of Americans hold a valid passport.Even a broken clock is right twice a day.Comment
-
This is either a very tiny ferret, or an amazingly huge anus. You decide.Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cageComment
-
SHE'S GOT BOTOX IN HER FOREHEAD
COLLAGEN IN HER LIPS
SHE'S GOT BOTOX IN HER FOREHEAD
COLLAGEN IN HER LIPS
SHE'S GOT SILICONE IN HER CHEST
AND LIPOSCULPTURED HIPS
SHE'S GOT IMPLANTS IN HER CHEEKS
HER TUMMY HAS BEEN TUCKED
SHE'S GOT IMPLANTS IN HER CHEEKS
HER TUMMY HAS BEEN TUCKED
HER NOSE HAS BEEN MADE LIFTED
HER CELLULITE'S BEEN SUCKED
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A HANDMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A HANDMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
GONNA BE SOMEBODY'S TROPHY WIFE
SHE GETS HER BODY HERBALLY WRAPPED
SHE'S GETS AN ULTRA-VIOLET TAN
SHE GETS HER BODY HERBALLY WRAPPED
SHE'S GETS AN ULTRA-VIOLET TAN
SHE GETS DAILY HIGH COLONICS
SHE'S LOOKIN FOR A MAN
IF SHE CATCHES ME LOOKIN' AT HER
I BET SHE THINKS I THINK SHE'S FINE
IF SHE CATCHES ME LOOKIN' AT HER
I BET SHE THINKS I THINK SHE'S FINE
BUT WHAT I'M REALLY THINKIN'
IS YOUR DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A HANDMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A HANDMADE WOMAN
SHE'S A MANMADE WOMAN
GONNA BE SOME BODY'S TROPHY WIFE
Words & music by Joe Medeiros, BMI, Midair Rose Publishing, 2005
SHEMALE.CENTER
World's Greatest Tgirl Cam Site.Comment
Comment