Totally pointless thread...

[Jake_Sully]

JD it is called Football for a reason.. use your feet.

But then again American's renaming something to the point where it makes no sense is somehow appropriate:

The White Sox actually wear BLACK socks.

The Red Sox actually wear WHITE socks.

The foul pole is actually FAIR.

We are the leaders of the free world where in a POPULAR ELECTION BY THE PEOPLE, a person can get more half a million more votes for president than his closest rival and still lose.

[farangbah]

Farangbah was here.

06/12/10

[Lefty]

You have cute nipples.

[f0xxee]

The Talented Gene Ziegler.

Some of you may remember an email doing the rounds a few years back that was supposed to have been penned by Dr Suess called "Why Computers Sometimes Crash" with instructions to read it aloud. Well, it wasn't by Seuss, it was by Gene Zeigler and it was a truncated version of what appears below.
This for me shows a mastery of rythme and writing ability of uncommon excellence.

A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer
Reprint or repost only with permission. © 1994 Gene Ziegler .
(sorry Gene, forgot to ask. JF)

Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
Bits in bytes on chips in box.
Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
Chips in box on ether-docks.
Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir. read the book, sir.
Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
You can make a quick trick chip stack.
You can make a quick trick clock stack.


And here's a new trick on the scene.
Bits in bytes for your machine.
Bytes in words to fill your screen.
Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.
Clocks on chips tock.
Eight byte bits tick.
Eight bit bytes tock.
Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gunna crash.

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gunna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

[guydesavoy]

shorts

[JaiDee]

(Jake_Sully @ Jun. 12 2010,10:07) But then again American's renaming something to the point where it makes no sense is somehow appropriate:

and don't forget stealing names from practically every English city and making it our own!

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Some times they stick 'New' in front of the name...

[JaiDee]

(guydesavoy @ Jun. 12 2010,15:46) shorts

excellent!! I hate long pants, had to wear some last night and was uncomfortable for 4 hours, for what??

in a perfect world I will someday wear shorts for 365 days per year; coming soon.

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Egon Ronay, the hungry Hungarian just died.

I'm off down to Burger King to pay my respects.

[Tomcat]

(Bumpa STIKKA @ Jun. 12 2010,20:14) Egon Ronay, the hungry Hungarian just died.

One supposes that he insisted on being " well done" at the cremation .

[Jake_Sully]

(Bumpa STIKKA @ Jun. 12 2010,09:09)  Some times they stick 'New' in front of the name...  

Blame the Dutch!

It was New Amsterdam till you sacked it and made it New York.

[JaiDee]

It can't get any worse than where *I* live, think about it; New ENGLAND!!  

Every time I look at a map of England and remember all the names I have seen on signs around here which we have pilfered I get embarrassed  

[pacman]

Come to Oz. We have pinched names from everyone, starting with NEW SOUTH WALES.

[JaiDee]

(pacman @ Jun. 12 2010,20:53) We have pinched names from everyone

waddya expect from a buncha ex-cons??

sorry paccie, couldn't resist!!!!

[pacman]

America managed to name 52 states. Our lot struggled with seven. It's utterly ridiculous what they came up with.