YOUR top 5 election promises...

[stogie bear]

So you've paid your 500 quid (or whatever they do where you live) and it's time to face the electorate...

How are you gonna convince them to vote for YOU?

Here you have a chance to list the top 5 things that YOU would do if you got elected boss of the country...

#1 - Put a 1,000 quid bounty on all illegal immigrants and benefit cheats. Move them to the Falklands.

#2 - Move ALL refugees and immigrants to the beautiful Falkland Isles while their applications are tossed in the bin reviewed.

#3 - Cancel all payments from the social welfare system. from now on it's friends and families who pick up the slack. NOT honest tax payers.

#4 - Scrap early prison release schemes and make anyone convicted of a crime that involves any kind of weapon a mandatory 20 years. Prisoners should be about 6 to a cell, minimum... on the Falkland Isles.

#5 - Stop all foreign aid and any money leaving the country and close down 50 embassies.

I would also...

...nationalize water and make it free. Nationalize railways. Legalize pot/hash. Hang traffic wardens in public. Make it illegal to use the core part of a tomato in sandwiches. Leave the EU. Force administrators out of hospitals. Give cops a better wage and the freedom to kick the shit out of law breakers. Disband the Health & Safety board. Scrap the equality laws. Start 100 pounds a year dog license, (cats free.) Bring back all soldiers currently serving abroad. Give Ireland back to the Irish. Scrap copyright laws. Force that cunt Geldof to get a hair cut or rescind his knighthood. Make fat people pay more for airline tickets. Bring back corporal punishment in schools and the 11+. Make 'political correctness' illegal with 30 days for each offense...

...there's so much more!

[ciobha]

Very surprised at you Stogie.I thought you would have sent all illegal immigrants and benefit cheats to Phuket,not Falklands.After all Phuket is such a crap hole this is exactly what these people deserve.

You have let yourself down there,SB,if your gonna punish them go the whole hog.
Phuket-the new Alcatraz!!

[Monkey]

How are you gonna convince them to vote for YOU?

#1 - Free fish & chips on Fridays and burgers on weekends (controlled with retinal scans to prevent fatties OD'ing).

#2 - Bring back half day closing on Wednesdays.

#3 - Turn traffic lights off at night, or have them flashing yellow instead (like in other countries)

#4 - Lower the school leaving age to 11

#5 - Legalise prostitution and have Nationalised Brothels (half price on Wednesdays, free shag on your birthday!)

[katoeylover]

1. cut income tax to 10% on all salaries< £30k

2. Increase Income tax to 50% on everything over £125k

3. Free water, subsidised electric, transport and gas to all those on minimum income.

4. cut unemploymane and housing benefit to long term unemployed

5. Cut foreign aid in half and give iot to the elderly

[bigmick22]

(stogie bear @ Jul. 19 2008,17:06) [b]#1 - Put a 1,000 quid bounty on all illegal immigrants and benefit cheats. Move them to the Falklands.

#2 - Move ALL refugees and immigrants to the beautiful Falkland Isles wh

you've just lost the vote of our Falklands-based members

[bigmick22]

much of the rest of Stogie's proposal sounds like a cross between Thailand and the seventies

[pacman]

It would be foolish to dismiss the values inherent in Stogies election promises.

Though the media would have a field day in attacking him for such right-wing extremism, if it came to a vote, he would be a shoo-in for elected office.

Too many laws designed to give equality to minorities have left the silent majority completely unequal.

The UK is tipped to be a Muslim state with-in 30 years.

I can't wait to hear how the loony-left explain that one to their descendants.

[bigmick22]

(pacman @ Jul. 20 2008,00:27) The UK is tipped to be a Muslim state with-in 30 years.

Majorit of popuation Muslim? Or Sharia law enshrined in some new UK-only constitution? Or ??

Tipped by who?

Do you really believe that?

I don't

[bigmick22]

echoes of Enoch Powell and "Rivers of blood"

[pacman]

I don't believe or not believe it, it was a widely quoted observation made by some political commentator who's name conveniently slips my mind.

The premise revolves around the idea that if Govt, local councils, etc keep changing laws to keep them sympathetic to Sharia beliefs, then one day the extremists will be in a position to take power.

It sounds extreme but the youth of today seem far too concerned not to offend anyone based on their race, religion, etc, that they won't be up to the task of defending the status quo.

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance ....... not my original quote, but will be no less relevant in a 1000 years time.

[bigmick22]

the right always need scare tactics to drum up support. It's always a negative pitch - focussing on bad things that can happen rather than working to do or build something positive. Kind of like Microsoft's FUD (Fear Uncertainty and Doubt) approach.

I guess I'm the only leftie, commie, pinko liberal on the board? (I do eat red meat, though - lots of it)
I must be true what they say in UK - the Tories are a lot kinkier than Labour, hence all the ladyboy lovers wanting to invite Maggie to their fantasy dinner party

[stogie bear]

The next civil war in the UK will be between the Muslims and the liberals who gave them a voice in the first place!

The silent majority now who are sleepwalking into an early grave will then be the old and tired 'has beens' of glories past. The white middle class will be flocking to New Zealand begging for permission to stay.

Meanwhile back in the UK -  the liberals will lose and the mindless 'do gooder' policies they fought so hard for in the 60s, 70s and 80s will be slowly eroded away, not in law but in practice.

Women will lose the right or will to work under the radical power hungry men controlling the councils. Central government will be either Liberal or Radical fighting it out much the same way Turkey is today. The welfare system and NHS will be bankrupt and the rich will be too scared to leave their gated communities for a rabies shot.

The typical style of Blair politics like the Labour and Conservative governments will be reduced to 4th party status. The police will no longer exist having been exterminated by drunken litter louts.

The UK has already taken the first step by allowing local government to make them scared of walking outside for fear of contravening some obscure bylaw or other.

There are armies of council Nazis prowling car parks, shopping malls and schools waiting and watching hoping that you'll park badly or drop a sweet wrapper on the ground or, heaven forbid, where a Tshirt with a slogan that reads something racist like "I'm innocent of crimes committed before I was born!"

You can laugh and poke fun at these comments but the UK is dead now. The only thing keeping the US from the same fate is the ferocious power of Christianity and the fact that US citizens actually have the will and political interest to prevent this from happening.

The distance between the UK and the US has never been further as the Americans include the Brits on the list of states of harboring radical and suicidal Prophet fearing loonies governed by sympathizers and failed teachers who believe that if they close their eyes and think happy thoughts then the world will be like a Mary Poppins movie.

Australia, which once was a vision of hope for all us moderates in the war on stupidity, has also gone the way of the West with woolly minded extremist dreamers getting more and more control over the lives of normal people.

The West have already successfully traded the spirit of the law for the letter of the law and won't have anyone to blame but each other...

Rights without duties to pay for them create a social debt that is eventually paid off with lawlessness.

If you are living in the UK at the moment then make plans not to. Your life and the quality of it DO depend on  those plans.

[bigmick22]

ya boo hiss! Grumpy man

[seamus]

(bigmick22 @ Jul. 20 2008,06:52) I guess I'm the only leftie, commie, pinko liberal on the board? (I do eat red meat, though - lots of it)
I must be true what they say in UK - the Tories are a lot kinkier than Labour, hence all the ladyboy lovers wanting to invite Maggie to their  fantasy dinner party

No Big Mick there's two of us

[allstar88]

1/free trips to los
2/take back the british empire
3/free tights and stockings for all
4/no more speed cameras
5/free ladyboy servant for each household