Top drawer one liners.

[Randyman]

I heard this one on Howard Stern this morning, by Andrew Dice Clay;

"She had so much cum in her mouth it looked like her teeth were melting."

Randyman

[katoeylover]

Ronaldo goes to the doctor:
"Doctor, every time i look in the mirror I become sexually aroused"
"Thars easy" Says the doctor,
"Its because you are a cunt!!"

[dummy_plug]

Hilarious guys, I wish I could contribute, but you've taken all the good ones!

[gunslinger]

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

[gunslinger]

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

[gunslinger]

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance

[gunslinger]

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

[gunslinger]

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

[Tomcat]

A German police officer at the Czech border stops 5 guys in an Audi Quattro and says " please will one person get out of zis car , it ist not allowed as it is a Quattro..... only four people are allowed in ze Quattro"

The guys in the car says . look , the car is just called Quattro and it means nothing"

The officer says " sorry, only four people allowed in a Quattro. The guy in the car says please go a fetch me your supervisor

The officer replies " i cant , hes too busy with a couple in a Fiat Uno."