Top 10 Things That Turn You Off

[Guest]

This could be fun...

So, my experience tonite, just as I was about to screw my girl of choice...

"I think you know, don't you?"

"No, what?"

"I have problem. Customer yesterday too big. My ass broken. Blood everywhere. Hurt. My ass broken. But, ok, no problem, let's try."

...my then raging hardon turned into the size of a shrivelled spaghetti noodle, and that was the end of the date.

[tigerxxx]

1-10. Talking ....way too much...before, during, and after the deed is done!!

[mardhi]

Clearing the throat with a deep sounding belch coming from the bathroom. Totally finishes it for me before its even started.

Cheers
Mardhi

[stogie bear]

...my then raging hardon turned into the size of a shrivelled spaghetti noodle...

Welcome to MY world!  

Seriously though...

Turn offs...

The smell of food, cigarettes or alcohol on the body or breath... (I keep a supply of brand new toothbrushes and clean towels for guests.)

An obvious unwillingness to get into the swing of things and a lack of sexual enthusiasm generally...

Ugly girls and fatty parts of the body... (Girls over 20 don't usually make the cut.)

Strange bedrooms and places... (I like sex in my house!)

Body hair especially on the legs...

That affliction that is indigenous to ladyboys - "nocturni celluluss interruptus!"  

My morning woody being ignored!  

jeez... It's amazing I ever get laid at all!  

[Snick]

"I too tired, lets do it in the morning"
......
"I don't do it in the morning"

[allstar88]

her mobile phone ringing during sex and worse her saying ill just answer that

[stogie bear]

(allstar88 @ May 12 2007,03:32) her mobile phone ringing during sex and worse her saying ill just answer that...

Yep... nocturni celluluss interruptus...

She goes to the bathroom and in hushed tones in broken English you can just make out the works... "I in my loom, now... wait for you... Western Union... miss you, dahling..."

Moments later she emerges from the bathroom and with a big wide innocent smile says "Sister!"

[BAM]

(allstar88 @ May 12 2007,03:32) her mobile phone ringing during sex and worse her saying ill just answer that

http://www.cellantenna.com/CJAM/cjam_100.htm

This "Cell Jam" takes care of that problem... also unhook the rooms cable TV so there is nothing for them to watch.

[katoeylover]

(stogie bear @ May 11 2007,20:20) fatty parts of the body.

Yes, you got to feel bad for them!

[Guest]

Agreed with bad breath and alcohol, but the absolute no1 turnoff is when you get chocolate on your dick. It dies right there, over , done, adios. Makes me wanna puke.

[BAM]

(rick @ May 12 2007,06:31) Agreed with bad breath and alcohol, but the absolute no1 turnoff is when you get chocolate on your dick. It dies right there, over , done, adios. Makes me wanna puke.

How about "Chocolate bad breath" after she sucks your cock after it's been in her bum?

[Guest]

1. "No, I don't like - that's nasty." Said mostly by my Pinay wife.

2. She laying there watching TV while you're humping away. Mainly Panahoochs who enjoyed the change from hut to modern hotel.

3. She laying there blowing bubbles looking at ceiling while you're humping away. Mostly in Korea.

4. Discussing a "pay incease" while you're humping away. All over the world.

5. "No Rae, no my asshole - my asshole for shit!" Heard several times from a Thai lass I banged on a regular basis in Fayetteville, NC back in the 80's.

6. Any overly hairy pubic area.

7. A funky odor.

8. A less than clean/tidy fuck room.

9. A less than clean/tidy fuck me outfit.

10. "Sleeping" on the job.

=======================================

On my first TDY trip to Korea back in 78 I hung out with an SF Medic (for purporses of story here I will refer to him simply Art) during our downtimes.

He and I picked up a couple of GG's and took them to one of the local fuck palaces. Korea was fondly referred to as the "Land of Sliding Doors, Heated Floors, and Slant Eyed Whores" by a lot of the GIs. The fuck palace we spent the night out did indeed have heated floors and sliding doors. The walls were also paper thin.

I had my lass in my room and Art had his in the adjoining room. Numerous times I heard sounds coming from Art's room which just did not sound natural (SF Medics are a kinky bunch).

Anyway, I inquired of Art as to what the noises were while we were enroute back to the ROK compound.

He stated, "Damn bitch talked a good line in the club but when it came down to getting nasty she just wanted to lay there."

To which I said, "Really?" with a puzzling look.

"Yep, everytime she tried that shit I put a pillow over her face. That got her ass to moving."

We both had a laugh out of that (I have been tempted many a time to use the "pillow method" on the wife).

Art if you are reading this -- I think think about the wild times we had. Hope all is well.

Rebel Ray

[stogie bear]

"Yep, everytime she tried that shit I put a pillow over her face. That got her ass to moving."

Great story... We can all learn something from that chappie!

[mirimark]

1.) Being pissed on.
2.) Someones Anal smelling like Anal.
3.) Being slapped when I'm actually ready for it. (needs to be a suprise.)
4.) Being Choked while I'm trying to cum.
5.) Being Tied up with my own Bra & Panties.
6.) Having my mouth duct taped shut.
7.) Having someone stick their Tongue in my ear really fucking sucks.
8.) Being kicked in the Nuts.
9.) Getting pubic hair in my mouth.
10.) Being slapped with my own condom after the deed is done. ( Oh ! wait a minute. I actually Like that. )
10.) Farting really loud when he pulls his cock out of me.
11.) Finally, the cleaning up afterwards.

[anywhichway67]

(mirimark @ May 12 2007,11:06) 1.) Being pissed on.
2.) Someones Anal smelling like Anal.
3.) Being slapped when I'm actually ready for it. (needs to be a suprise.)
4.) Being Choked while I'm trying to cum.
5.) Being Tied up with my own Bra & Panties.
6.) Having my mouth duct taped shut.
7.) Having someone stick their Tongue in my ear really fucking sucks.
8.) Being kicked in the Nuts.
9.) Getting pubic hair in my mouth.
10.) Being slapped with my own condom after the deed is done. ( Oh ! wait a minute.  I actually Like that. )
10.)  Farting really loud when he pulls his cock out of me.
11.)  Finally,  the cleaning up afterwards.

I think I need to meet these ladies