Setting myself up for heartache

[liisawinkler]

(divertwo @ Jan. 10 2007,22:34) ......since Lisa is one of the few LB's that regularly reads and contributes here, we need her opinion on this often told story or question of love with an Asian LB.

So Lisa, could you settle down with a Western man at this stage of your life? Buy the house in the suburbs, have a pet dog and cat, and live the life of a happy couple maybe working part time for fun or $$ at the local office.....or tending to your hobbies of gardening, shopping, tennis and traveling?

i could get flamed for answering this but to answer your question...

yes i could get settled down at this point in my life but I guess it will take an enormous amount of understanding from the man I am going to marry to accept that it may ALSO take some time too for me to get off this kind of work....

the process will have to be gradual...until i can completely detach myself from the ENJOYMENT of travelling and meeting people and shift my interests towards achieving the EXCITEMENT of slowing down, settling down with the right person and sharing the experience of life in a more subdued and slower paced lifestyle with that individual.......

[divertwo]

Thanks for taking the time to provide your personal perspective.........will the guys start lining up for you now???? ..........ALOHA

[Guest]

Perhaps i should start a new thread but will just post here. I am a highly educated, professional male of 64. In the looks department i am just an average guy....could loose 25 pounds....but not ugly either. It is my intention to relocate
to the land of smiles this summer and retire. I would love to have a permanent relationship with a lb. What are my chances??? Will any of these lbs even give me a second look???

[Guest]

We have been around this track before here, but for the sake of discussion again I hope you will not mind my .02 USD worth

Several years ago I did a world tour of successive vacations in countries havng a significant population of pre-operative transgendered women

Reason - as I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to live just about anywhere, I wanted to get a feel for the culture, attitudes, and - most importantly - the "height of the bar" for success in attaining my goal of a committed relationship

Countries visited (in no particular order) were

Thailand
Malaysia
Italy
Spain
Brazil
Argentina
Mexico
Philippines

While I found appealing qualities about each country - and the girls I met there - I concluded that Asia offered the best opportunities for attaining my goal

In the years since that tour, I have been fortunate to have enjoyed primary relationships with two 'non-working' LBs - one a well-known cosmetic artist and entertainer in Bangkok, the other a CPA and law student in the Philippines

Now unattached again, I make no bones about enjoying the p4p scene for now

Should I again meet a LB with the requisite intelligence, character, maturity, good looks, and versatile sexual orientation that I enjoy, I would not hesitate to settle down again

If I do meet such a girl, the challenges we will face together in making a relationship work will be the same -

AGE - now in my early 50's, I am blessed with excellent health, an athletic and fit body, and 'hansum' good looks that allow me to pass for a man 10 (or more) years younger

That said, the wrinkles on my brow are not getting any lighter, and there is still an entire generation between me and any potential relationship partner

I have found that this is a gap that must be bridged from both sides

For me, it means tolerating in my partner a little (or a lot) of the same youthful and undisciplined behavior that I exhibited at her age

Patience and a light touch in imparting life lessons to a much younger partner helps immeasurably

Depending on what kind of guy you are, you may also be required to make some significant lifestyle changes just to keep up with her

Both my former girlfriends made no bones about the fact that - were I not in decent physical shape - they would either not have me, or be reluctant to go out with me for fear of being embarrassed by my appearance in front of their friends

Moreover - when I would go out to a Thai nightclub with my former girlfriend - I made sure that my glass contained far more soda than whiskey even as she was putting huge dents in the bottle - this to ensure my ability to meet her sexual needs when we finally made it home at 4 AM (or later)

As said earlier, disparate ages presents a gap that must be bridged from both sides

For her, it will likely mean expanding her comfortable circle of friends of similar age, and embracing activities that she had previously only read about or seen on television

A little tolerance and understanding on her part as she sees you sneak a little blue pill now and then (in my case, when arriving home from a flight from the USA or Europe to find her excited and horny) will surely be appreciated

CULTURE - say what you will about the predisposition of Asian women (and LBs) to please their partner - but there will inevitable come a time when your respective cultural 'road map' of the mind will be 180 degrees out

While I have found this difference in thinking to be most profound with Thais - and less so with Latinas and Filipinas (possibly reflecting their Spanish / Portuguese / American colonial and Catholic heritage) - it will remain a challenge wherever you find your girl

Just one example - a lasting relationship with an Asian LB will surely require a reconciliation of attitudes regarding money and family that is quite unlike anything you may have contemplated before

Another challenge (especially if you settle down with an Asian LB) is how to deal with her need for 'face', mutual respect, and harmonious relations

As I have said elsewhere, a Thai (or a Filipina) LB will often tell a convenient lie to avoid facing an unpleasant truth

Far from being dishonest, this trait simply reflects a cultural predisposition to avoid personal conflict and possible bad feelings that may result

When - or if - you do find the right girl, you will soon learn that taking a deep breath, pausing in a silent moment of reflection, and responding with a kind smile of loving acceptance will be far preferable to attempting a 'serious' relationship conversation with your beloved over this or that niggle

Given age and cultural differences - and in my case the nature of my work (requiring frequent travel away from home) - the issue of fidelity may come up as well

Many LBs will have no trouble being faithful to you, but will scrutinize your behavior with laser-like intensity for any hint of interest elsewhere

However - in a diffferent twist - my former Thai LB girlfriend was quite open about her preference for a "gik" to satisfy her need for fun when I would be gome from home for two weeks or more ("...I do not want to be a monk while you are away...")

Again, you must be prepared to face each challenge with patience and an open mind - a task made far more difficult by disparate skills in

LANGUAGE - absent a common language between you and your partner, you will soon learn that you must choose your words with care

Despite being a "top 5" university graduate (and masters degree candidate) my former Thai LB girlfriend attributed her reasonably fluent English skills more to HBO and Star TV than to her educational background

While she had achieved a vocabulary of about 800 words (I am guessing now) - one which proved more than sufficient for daily activities - we would inevitably encounter difficulty when attempting to communicate feelings, describe nuances or "shades of gray", compare cultural differences, or otherwise pushing the boundary of her language skills

Put another way, I could enjoy a wide range of conversations with my former Filipina girlfriend (bi-lingual in Pilipino and English as all college graduates must be in that country) that would have frustrated or provoked an angry response with my former Thai partner

That said, it will - sooner or later - be incumbent upon you to put the effort in to learn the native language of your beloved

If you are not OK with this, you will - in my humble opinion - expend far more effort and attention in addressing misunderstandings than if you had put in the time to study

Finally - in the matter of contemplating a relationship with a 'working' LB, it has been my experience (with a very few rare exceptions) that

"You can take the girl out of the bar, but you cannot take the bar out of the girl"

Face it - it would be a challenge for any young and successful 'working' LB to trade the exciting life and good money she enjoys from sex work for a monogamous relationship with a man old enough to be her father

Put another way - think back to your youthful days in your 20's

If a variety of women (both good-looking and bad) were offering you big money to fuck them each night, would you be inclined to settle down and get married to a woman twice your age (no matter how much money or lifestyle security she was offering you) ?

I know what my answer would have been - and kudos to Salma for being honest in her replies in this regard

Thoughtful replies, differences of opinion, or flames are all welcomed - and best of luck in your search

[daveduke007]

thats all I can say

[Guest]

This is a quite interesting opinion and i would say very inciteful. I would imagine that there are varying degrees of interest in a younger person with an older person that would never be considered if the financial stability of a person my age were not present. Dreams and fantasies are perhaps what are present with me.
However without them i would no longer function. Thank you for giving me for some thoughts to ponder.

[moe666]

Thick81 sums it all up in a very straight and inciteful manner. The language barrier is probly the biggest problem. I have had more miss understandings with my girl friend over the last 4 years and the majority of them can be attributed to both of us lacking enough fluency in english for her and Thai for me. But if you try you can eventually find common ground.
Good luck to anyone who wants to have a serious relationship with a Thai gg or ladyboy.

[buttafly]

excellent thoughts, Thick81

now hopefully we can get a psycho-analysis from that way-cool fourm Psychiatrist Allstar88?

[kahuna]

(thick81 @ Jan. 11 2007,08:34) Face it - it would be a challenge for any young and successful 'working' LB to trade the exciting life and good money she enjoys from sex work for a monogamous relationship with a man old enough to be her father

Put another way - think back to your youthful days in your 20's

If a variety of women (both good-looking and bad) were offering you big money to fuck them each night, would you be inclined to settle down and get married to a woman twice your age (no matter how much money or lifestyle security she was offering you) ?

Food for thought for this old ugly shit...

[TTChang]

(kahuna @ Jan. 12 2007,04:08)

(thick81 @ Jan. 11 2007,08:34) Face it - it would be a challenge for any young and successful 'working' LB to trade the exciting life and good money she enjoys from sex work for a monogamous relationship with a man old enough to be her father.  

Food for thought for this old ugly shit...

On our way to LOS, bahts in hand, kahuna.....

DRFritz:-

Dreams and fantasies are perhaps what are present with me.  However without them i would no longer function

The baht is king for dreams & fantasies!!  Enough for me

[kaos]

well i have lived in many ladyboys country (thai, brasil, argentina...etc) and sometime i wanted a relation more than just a fuck (and that happened only with smoking hot LBs) it never worked out and im not an old guy.
it doesnt really matter if they work in the bar or not, what it matters is what these kids want from life.
you have to put in their shoes and in their culture.
if they are from a poor family (and the most of them are, sure the ones working in the bar) they want to show to their relatives that being what they are is good; they want the family to be proud of them and the best way they know is with money. they know that nothing can secure their future than having money now and from the guy that is available to do that, it is simple like that.
if they are from a rich wealthy family these LBs want exactly what a 18-20 yrs odl girl wants... the family will support her first giving to her what every LBs want "a pussy" to be a girl completely (if you tell me not all LBs want a pussy I tell you that they are BSing you)... then they want the life that most of normal girls want... a career and nice looking young boyfriend same nationality or even better a boy from a well known local family (difficult but i saw it happened).
there are exception to this of course, but there are people winning the lottery as well.
my suggestion is to fuck as many LBs you like have fun and possibly die with your dick in a very nice young ass .

[kaos]

like the one in my avatar for example

[kahuna]

(kaos @ Jan. 12 2007,15:10) my suggestion is to fuck as many LBs you like have fun and possibly die with your dick in a very nice young ass .

I do like your suggestion...

[Tomcat]

(kaos @ Jan. 12 2007,15:10) there are exception to this of course, but there are people winning the lottery as well.

I agree with you Kaos. Spot on, mostly. Of course everyone has there own reference point in life but i can see youve been around.... its pretty much as i see it.

Doubt if ill ever bother again with GF. I work hard enough as it is 9-5 without the need for Transgender Psychology induction course every night, as much as i love Ladyboys.



TC

[stogie bear]

Doubt if ill ever bother again with GF.

I don't think I will either. I've tried it many times and I just get bored and restless. It's annoying to have someone else to think about.

The answer is to find someone that likes you to spend one or two nights a week with you. Some one that you can 'love' on a part time basis.

Of course this doesn't work for everyone. So; if you are getting on a wee bit and looking for ladyboy lovin' in Thailand then come over here and start looking... Your dream gal is here waiting for you.