Ladyboy relationships

[stogie bear]

and lets be fair most ladyboys are hookers for one reason or another

Have you met 'most ladyboys'?

Well, I've been told off before for speaking my mind, so I'll let it go.

[Guest]

Here's the thread......

Quote (donnnny)
and lets be fair most ladyboys are hookers for one reason or another

Response (stogiiiiiieeeee)
Have you met 'most ladyboys'?



Fuck ... let's be fair ... it is my dream to meat ... oops. meet ... 'most ladyboys'



Lame, lame lame

[Guest]

... starting with Jinny (hope she keeps her prices stable)

[liisawinkler]

Donny is right about maintaining a level of distance with bargirls..why? most of them have had sexual relationships to the point that it's almost mechanical for them...and they often do it for the money...it's their number one motivation in life...but you also cannot blame them..many of them are poor and have only had a shot at a decent life by being 'working girls.'

however we really have no right to condemn them..it's a case-to-case basis you know..some LBs may be just in a relationship for the money but a few of them may also be in it for the companionship and relationship...I can sense that some people here may have had a bad experience in a relationship with an LB..but one must never discount the fact that one may find 'love' in an LB relationship too!

And statistics seem to dictate that LBs working in bars often are in it for the money but then there are many deviations in any kind of statistic so perhaps a small percentage of these bargirls may also be looking for love too..we can never discount this, as I've said earlier it's really a 'case to case basis' thing!...
ANd statistics also seem to indicate that LBs who are not bargirls and who mostly have had an education and good position in life seem to be the ones who are capable of doing really well in an LB relationship with a guy....they are financially secure and therefore hang on to the guy more for the companionship and the sex than his money....but then there are deviations to this stat too

so my point is..if you are looking for a relationship that STATISTICALLY has a bigger chance of working then you would have to go the second option and that is, the NON-BARGIRL ladyboys...it's like you have more of a margin for error when you intend to pursue them...with the BARGIRLS you are looking at a very small margin for error because some of them may really just be in it for your money..


To sum it all, I think it takes time to get to know someone really well and it also takes constant communication as well as an openness for LB relationships to really work...Distance and physical togetherness always counts in a relationship...and the more you know about your girlfriend's whereabouts and doings, the more you are aware of how faithful or how dissociated she may be from you...in the end it does not have to matter whether the girl is a BARGIRL or a NON BARGIRL....what really matters is how you can get to know each other really well inside out...

[Guest]

hey lisa... nice post and sound advice... i agree love is possible in both bar and non bar LBs relationships.. however the likelyhood is much prevelent with a non-bar LB... the bar girl has so much more baggage... and you are correct when you say how important it is to really become close to someone... to really enter into the other's thoughts and feelings.. to trust completely, to be sincere without shame or remorse, to really open yourself up to someone.. its not all about sex, a loving relationship is all about friendship and trust... where in rare mements sometimes two can become one... been there before( not with a LB yet) and i want it again.. i call it the fairy tale... rod

[liisawinkler]

the girl in me still wants that fairytale Rod is talking about!!!
After all who doesn't want that wonderful man to sweep you in your arms?? 'siggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

I have to agree to the above post..openness is key to letting loose of your inhibitions and feelings as well as your fears and insecurities so that both of you may know the potholes and the traps that may befall your relationship.....

[Guest]

Lisa, great post and spot on. You can't blindly dichotomize girls into 'pro' and 'non-' since for some of the bargirls, this is just a bit of a chance to pick up much needed cash, on the way to bigger things. But the night life is lucrative and seductive, and it's easy to get sucked in. If you make friends in the biz (and who wouldn't being around the same girls 24/7) then outside opportunities offer themselves less and less.

Mechanical sex: it's showbiz and they need to perform reasonably well. So it becomes a job, enthusiasm languishes, and a suspicious and jaded attitude leaks over into personal relationships. Bargirls may start out balanced, but the lifestyle can damage them quickly, and it's a damage that's pretty difficult to recover from (you're only young once).

Good relationships start with friendships. Doesn't mean they have to be Platonic; it's just better if you can smoothly stir the sex into the friendship. When bargirl relationships start with the monetary transaction, a suspicious pall is cast over all subsequent good deeds (both sides). Forget about ever normalizing one of these.

In my opinion, in general guys tend to be a bit more sloppy and sentimental (though they try to hide it) because they are a bit dumber than GGs or LBs about relationships. So they tend to generalize more about the impossibility of good relationships.

Lisa, I'm impressed with you. You show a lot of insight. I wish you the best in finding the right guy (and having a great time on the way). I'm thinking more seriously about making my next trip, not to BKK but to Cebu, to meet you and some of your friends. Hope others on this site feel the same.

[liisawinkler]

yes...but many LBs like us never seem to find the right balance between using our beauty and youth to good use by interacting with as many guys as we can while at the same time preserving ourselves to be worthy wives of LB-lovers who want faith in the relationship...

believe me, this has also been one of my struggles too guys...

thanks for all the good thoughts Dr. John...I hope you prove to be prophetic...
You are indeed right about the cloud of doubt casted upon a relationship when money became the first basis...this is why relationships with bargirls always does not seem to work because money is the root of the encounter....for both parties who are in the encounter, because money is involved, the encounter becomes very impersonal and purely physical without some form of intimacy...

[stogie bear]

... starting with Jinny (hope she keeps her prices stable)

Maybe if she has the op she'll cut a bit off!

[Great thread, and thanks to Lisa for providing some priceless insight...)

[The Violator]

and lets be fair most ladyboys are hookers for one reason or another

OK... Let's be fair:

That was an ignorant and purile statement at best, and shows that you have little to no knowledge of the situation!

Is THAT fair enugh for you?

[Guest]

I like your thoughts, Lisa

yes...but many LBs like us never seem to find the right balance between using our beauty and youth to good use by interacting with as many guys as we can while at the same time preserving ourselves to be worthy wives of LB-lovers who want faith in the relationship...

believe me, this has also been one of my struggles too guys...

This is not just LBs problem, it's pretty near universal. On this score, though, guys get off a bit easier. But it may not be best to see this as a fine line that we walk. If you live a rich life, with the trashy and sublime, sleazy and profound, mercantile and altruistic all thrown into the mix, you have a much better chance of staying young, and choosing those lessons that you carry with you into later life. The real enemy is a limited and simple lifestyle. I feel I owe it to myself and those around to experience as much as I can, and choose the things that have value above those that don't

[liisawinkler]

ooopppssss..what's happening?


anyway some ladyboys though can get away because they probably don't have the burden of a relationship to carry which is why they are having fun meeting other men...

[Guest]

Violater Purile(childish) whats childish about stating one's views.if you want to play nice guy bad guy go ahead. i have been to many shemale veues around the globe yes not just thailand, and its my opinion that most third sex people are hookers . for whatever reason. I am not casting any despertions on there character for doing it(being hookers).
nothing"purile about it, i sugest you look more clearly at what i wrote instread of jumpig to purile conclusions and exploding onto the forum with purile rantings
dogggggy

[Guest]

donnny ... perhaps another perspective on LBs as hookers is that they often may function sexually more like we do (given that they started out in life with male bodies). So it's easy to jump to simplistic conclusions. Just saying the value-laden term 'hooker' conveys a jaded, materialistic image that doesn't capture the complexity of LBs, even those whose living is made this way. There is a tension of non-acceptance, a male sexuality, precarious lifestyle that brings out both the good and bad of what we see in LBs.


BTW (if you didn't know) the term 'hooker' came from Civil War Maj. Gen. Joseph Hooker who was described by Ulysses S. Grant as €œa dangerous man . . . not subordinate to his superiors.€ According to a popular story, the men under Fighting Joe Hooker's command during the Civil War were a wild bunch, and when his troops were on leave, they spent much of their time in brothels. For this reason, prostitutes came to be known as hookers.

[Mai-Kee]

....and at least, hookers or not, generalization doesn't help anything anyway! I met wonderful people among the working girls and bitches among those who earn their living with a "normal" job.
Thanx for your thoughts Salma. Your perspective is definitely an enrichment to this forum!

MK