When she falls in love with him

[statuesque]

Im just curious. Im not sure Ive encountered this yet in the forum, nor fully aware of the whole P4P scene as well.

Has it happened that the escort/bargirl fell in love, genuinely that is, with the client?  

I can imagine a few reasons he wouldnt go for it, such as family, work, values, etc.  
It would be interesting to hear the many different angles of this reversal, and to know your pieces of advice also for such forlorn lovers.  

S

[p4player]

This should be good. I'm thinking there will be quite a few here that think bargirls were actually in love with them.
Next question is can they be in love with more than one at a time.

[f0xxee]

Its extemely cynical to believe for a minute that P4P girls are immune to the same sensitivies and emotions that their customer feels. No matter what the major players might think (who also tend to be the most cynical) ladyboys are as emotionally developed as any other person.
it has been my experience that in common with nearly every young adult in the world their first love affair is with Mr. Wrong, the butterfly, and that then leads them to the more cynical excesses later in life, where they can't see past the customers wallet.
Yes of course they can fall in love. Yes they can be loyal and loving partners. But to observe it you need to move away from Nana or Patts. Go to the quieter parts of thailand and you see obviouly elderly expats with obviously retired bar girls shopping in Tesco. yes it can happen and does.  
We all know relationships are fraught with danger: to fall in love is to open yourself up for a wounding. To minimise the pain and increase the odds of a successful relationship, may I offer the following advice Ms Statuesque:

1). Dont fall in love with a newbie to the LB scene. if you are their first lover they are back at the level of losing their virginity and are going to want to explore options after a while.

2.) Don't fall in love with a married man. They will NOT leave the wife and kids for you. (99% won't).

3.) If you find your man get out of Sin City, be it Manila, Cebu City, Pattaya etc.

4.) If he is not 100% comfortable with you in public from day 1 he is not gonna change. You are extremely feminine, but you dont know whats going on in his head in public. Find out!

5.) If you can't be togther it ain't worth it. Long distance relationships are bollocks.

6.) Trust him. Nothing drives a man nuts like a jealous and untrusting GF. If you cant trust us and spend your life going through our wallets, passports, cell phones etc etc you will drive a good man away to play.

7.) The right man is confident. he needs to be to conquer the bias and prejudiuce that is attached to his relationship.

I am no expert, but am happilly living with LB GF at present and what I have written works for us.

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Wise words... for both sides of the equation.

[katoeylover]

5.) If you can't be togther it ain't worth it. Long distance relationships are bollocks.

Isnt this the crux of it?

[kahuna]

Probably...But that's not the answer to Statuesque's question...

I've never seen it...But then again, I haven't seen much...

I'm not certain, that Thais are capable of "love" in the western sense of the word...

And I haven't seen much evidence of romance in my travels here...

I suspect "love" to Thais means something much different than it does in the west...

[pacman]

    That's an interesting view but not one I subscribe to...

I think that as we approach our twilight years, the chances of passionate, full-on "love" diminish, compared to when we were in our prime.

I wrote once before about an early visit to LOS which culminated with my holiday girlfriend actually following me home. All the way to Australia!!

Was it love or infatuation? Who cares, it certainly wasn't for the money.

Would something like that happen to me today? I hardly think so, that type of all-or-nothing love lies in the reserve of the willful youth, led more by hormones than common sense.

It is a terrific memory & I again wonder what became of her. I have no specific advice to offer but please don't dismiss her intentions as anything but the purest expression of "love", whatever interpretation you wish to put on it.

Maybe it's true, once they go pac, they never go back...       

[seanbeag7]

(kahuna @ Aug. 18 2009,16:00) I suspect "love" to Thais means something much different than it does in the west...

That is the truest statement that i have ever read here or on any forum.

The biggest problem in the way we "love" someone, is that we want to be together all the time, but with most asian people, they have to taught old fashioned ideas about love, and the two cultures just don't match each other in this respect.

I have spent all my life studying Japanese culture, thru my uncles work there, so i understand the differences between japanese and their neighbours China.

And having spent a while here reading different threads here and on other forum, i could find simular connections between Thais, phillipinos and a lot of other asian cultures.

[f0xxee]

Just back from the beach with Mrs Foxxee and this thread has been on my mind (in between nanna naps and swims, photo sessions and the like....)
A couple more points:
If you do have a relationship and think you are in love, then you have to face the hardest hurdle.

Trust.

She is a bar-girl, he is a butterfly: (This is a generalization for illustrative purposes before anyone takes me to task for maligning Statuesque.)
Her task for a year or many has been to part men from thier hard earned- His task has been to sow his abundant seed as prolifically as possible while ensuring his penis does not become duck breakfast.

So they decide they are in love and its all warm and fuzzy and candlelight dinners, but then the reality sets in. His phone rings and its another LB who loves him and misses him:-her phone rings and its Bruce Shagnasty from Sydney (or worse, donnnnny) in town and the insecurity and jealousy starts.

So how do you get past the jealousy?

1. As stated before move away for a fresh start. Make up your mind to trust your partner and banish the dark thoughts as unworthy. If you cannot, then move on. You are not in love. You are in a state of highly possesive Lust.

2. Dont go into print on this forum or any others with vows of undying love for your truly beloved unless you want to unleash the competitive hounds from hell. Men like to cut each others grass: Its deeply rooted in our psyches. Its the dominant baboon thing. Shut the fuck up if you are in love! its your business and no one elses. (And ladyboys are pretty bloody good at fucking their friends BF's too.)

3. Don't upload photos of your truly beloved here. (sorry Zack and Marla, maybe I am too British or too Aussie but public love affairs make me wince, and there is a stong evil inside most of us that is hoping to see an unfolding train wreck. Well done for avoiding it!)

4. Change both your phone numbers.

5. Remove yourselves from temptation. Find somewhere you BOTH can live happily.

Hang out togther A LOT: No boys/girls nights out for a while until a certain comfort level is reached.

It's amazing what Red Fanta and sunshine does to must concise thoughts....

[donnnnnny]

I have  had a wonderful time with a  very well known model and P4P  lb as  most on the forum will know
she was fun to be with and a great companion to go exploring with. you cant fake it for that long, not with me anyway.
We all have that sense, that if someone is  playing around with us we  will know even if it takes some time to realize
being called from thaialnd on a regular basis and never asked for funds is more evidence to say that they sometimes  really do have feelings for  us punters.
I know   though experiance  that most could,nt give a flying fuck about me and only want my money . perfect as i only want to have sex with them
But  on rare occasions  there is love and real feelings.
and of  course before  flamming me i am perfectly  aware of all the ways of thailand  and the way the thais think.
so statique, i do believe it  x could  happen and i do believe i have been in that situation.
and i loved it
Our relationship is over now, but we are still great friends and often still chat

[f0xxee]

There you go!
Always knew under that diamond in the rough exterior there was a heart.

[donnnnnny]

kiss me bitch you know you want too

[halla]

(f0xxee @ Aug. 18 2009,17:17) Trust.

His phone rings and its another LB who loves him and misses him:-her phone rings and its Bruce Shagnasty from Sydney (or worse, donnnnny) in town and the insecurity and jealousy starts.

So how do you get past the jealousy?

I just laugh to myself, knowing to myself that I got what he wants when Johnny Nobody from wherever calls or send smses, telling her how much he misses her and bladi bladi bla.

Plus he probably had to pay her for her time aswell. Haha!

[statuesque]

Very interesting points, foxxee!
Try Yellow Fanta with sunshine next time and compare the results.  

I particularly agree with this:
7.) The right man is confident. he needs to be to conquer the bias and prejudiuce that is attached to his relationship.

It echoes what the lovely Ms Naang Fa replied in another thread.
For me, nothing best makes a man than his self-confidence.  

No kisses in the main room, donnnnnnny!  
Seriously though, glad to know youre still friends.
Perhaps she is what they call "The One That Got Away", pacman?  

Finely illustrated seanbeag7. Culture gaps can both be a boom and bane in every relationship. I should know, Im working on mine!  

S

[seamus]

(donnnnnny @ Aug. 18 2009,09:20) you cant fake it for that long, not with me anyway.
We all have that sense, that if someone is  playing around with us we  will know even if it takes some time to realize

Yep exactly wot I was saying to a fellow BM a few weeks back.
A lot of guys have favourites & take them every time they go to LOS. mainly for a few days, maybe a week & that's fine, they can fake the feelings for that long. Go for a few months & you soon find out that their undying love for you is as fake as their tits.

& B4 anyone asks this has feck all to do with Mary & Me, I have yet to spend longer then 8 days with her, so have yet to find out if it's all fake or not

I am still new to all this & I am learning all the time, the more I learn the more i think My out look to the whole scene is wrong, but only time will tell.