My GG J-GF saw my SMSs to my LOS LB GF!

[kahuna]

In what way was my opinion trite?

Trite: hackneyed or boring from much use : not fresh or original

Granted my opinion is it is not fresh or original, but neither are stories of someone cheating
on one's partner...And neither are most other opinions posted on this forum...

Perhaps you were searching for a different word...

[farangbah]

Kahuna, the "trite" wasn't in reference to you. It was in reference the typical filler I expected to see -- pat one-liners from those trying to raise their quota. I know what trite means.

Look, I dig what you're saying -- I don't feel good about it. But I also think it's easy to cast stones from afar, and to buy into north-american notions of what "cheating" is (please don't supply another definition). It's only cheating if there's is a pre-arranged agreement of some kind.

There was recently a high-profile case in Korea of an actress taken to court by her husband for cheating. You can be sent to jail for it. Interestingly, in a subsequent poll, 80% of Korean men admitted to cheating in their marriage. 80%. Married men. And those are the ones that admitted it. In an Asian culture of discretion.

Maybe we need to remove ourselves from some puritanical Christian notions. It's not a sunny side of existence. But it will never, ever change. Instincts are instincts.

[sev7en]

(farangbah @ Jan. 24 2009,16:04)

(Naang Faa @ Jan. 24 2009,15:58)

What does your god say about sodomy? He give you a pass on that one?

 I'm a lady,i don't get involved in such primitive filth

Last time I checked, ladies have assholes too.  (I being one of them)

Some "ladies" have beard too. And i don´t mean assbeard.

[farangbah]

trimmed, like your new avatar?

[Looker]

(farangbah @ Jan. 24 2009,16:21)

Is this in LOS or elsewhere?

I live in Asia, presently in Malaysia, and it has been happening to me in more than one country right here in Asia, and always with Asian women.

Of course, some asked me why do I like them..am I gay..blah blah blah. But finally in most cases it goes back to what I wrote in my earlier post.

Need to specify that the relationships with them all perhaps aren't as "solid" as yours with the Japanese lady but nevertheless with a few of my friends are sort of steady relationships.

IMHO, if you want to have a life full of strong emotions, you better find a woman who allows you to do it or, even better, partake it with you. Don't want to go into the topic trituration mode but it has in fact been discussed a few times already.

[farangbah]

(Looker @ Jan. 24 2009,19:12) IMHO, if you want to have a life full of strong emotions, you better find a woman who allows you to do it or, even better, partake it with you.

Cheers, Looker.  That's the dream...  at least the first part -- as for partaking, I still prefer the separation of church and state...  

(LadyboyCrush, can you hear me?)

[Looker]

Well..not in the religious sense.
But trust me, it's difficult but not impossible to find someone that open. Do you live in Japan? If yes, than chances are not that remote as Japanese women are often very entrerprising in the sex department.
Whether will work out in the long term or not..that is another story.
Amen

[LadyboyCrush]

(farangbah @ Jan. 24 2009,19:26)

(Looker @ Jan. 24 2009,19:12) IMHO, if you want to have a life full of strong emotions, you better find a woman who allows you to do it or, even better, partake it with you.

Cheers, Looker.  That's the dream...  at least the first part -- as for partaking, I still prefer the separation of church and state...  

(LadyboyCrush, can you hear me?)

Oh AHEM! I hear ya! Praise beee given! Hallalujah! TELL IT LIKE IT IS!


definitely count myself as a FIRM believer in "da separation".

[LadyboyCrush]

(kahuna @ Jan. 24 2009,17:08)

(farangbah @ Jan. 24 2009,15:37) Please refrain from trite advice and opinions.

Opinions are the bread and butter of this and most all forums mate...

Even when you post something innocuous you're gonna get an opinion that differs from yours...That's the very nature of this forum...

I didn't offer and advice...simply and opinion...and it remains...To me it seems patently unfair to your partner and to yourself to cheat...

Which is why people need to just accept (and learn to deal) with the fact that human males (by instinct) are not monogomous. It is instinctual to want to put our sperm in as many holes as possible. Jesus didnt make us that way... Evolution did.
While cheating does understandably evoke jealousy and other hurtful emotions, I do feel that a realistic understanding of what causes one to cheat SHOULD go a REALLY long way in making the jealousy controllable. the last time I cheated on a girlfriend, I decided I wasnt going to do taht anymore... I didnt LIKE doing something i knew would hurt her... But at the same time I KNEW I was going to... I did what i "thoght" was the honorable thing... I broke up with her, and told her why... Somehow she didnt see the honor in it... hehe. never talked again...

I used to cheat on my girlfriends all the time when I was younger... I knew it was "wrong" but I also knew that the person that mattered was my girlfriend... the others were not much more than "a new hole to put my cock in" -- which is 1 step above masturbation... at this point its all just a headache for me, and I would actually prefer just to masturbate than deal with all the issues that tend to come with sex...

No easy answers... No one wants to hurt someone they care about... But KNOWING what you personally feel about sex with a hooker (Im assuming its NOTHING... as mentioned before... basically chok wowwing with someone elses body) its easy to feel "THIS SHOULDNT hurt her.. she just doenst understand."
Unfortunately, people (especially females) just dont see things the same... and some men have even fooled themselves into thinking that they have no interest in cheating... they arent attracted to other people.. they are so in love... (snicker)

[sev7en]

So since men do not involve feelings when they cheat, it´s more ok than when a woman cheats with her feelings included.

Good usefull point.

[LadyboyCrush]

(sev7en @ Jan. 25 2009,09:35) So since men do not involve feelings when they cheat, it´s more ok than when a woman cheats with her feelings included.

Good usefull point.

well... when said that way its just not good...

cheating is not nice in any way... its a form of lying... and I hate lies so much at this point in life...

so I dont do it... How do I do it? I dont do things that would give me a reason to feel that I hve to lie to someone... very easy way to stop cheating: get rid of the girlfriend (if you are cheating, you shouldnt be together in a "committed" relationship anyway) -- and if she doesnt want to have the relationship u can give (one that is open sexually) then you should both move on... No one is wrong... Niether makes someone 'bad"... u just want different things from life... and forcing something or pretending you have a certain relationship when you really dont is satisfying for no one. Waste of time.

[kahuna]

Exactly what I was trying to say farangbah...I just couldn't spit the words out in the right order...

Better said by the master himself...LadyboyCrush...

[farangbah]

(LadyboyCrush @ Jan. 25 2009,09:07) ... I knew it was "wrong" but I also knew that the person that mattered was my girlfriend... the others were not much more than "a new hole to put my cock in"

No easy answers... No one wants to hurt someone they care about... But KNOWING what you personally feel about sex with a hooker (Im assuming its NOTHING... as mentioned before... basically chok wowwing with someone elses body)  its easy to feel "THIS SHOULDNT hurt her.. she just doenst understand."
Unfortunately, people (especially females) just dont see things the same...

Indeed -- Therein lies the rub!

During my confession, I kept returning to that thought: She doesn't deserve this, but if she could only understand the difference for me (for men?) between a relationship and sex with a prostitute, it would really change her perspective and soften the blow.  But she (as a female) never will.

But I knew that beforehand.  And I am not trying to absolve myself of guilt.

[farangbah]

(kahuna @ Jan. 25 2009,09:57)

Exactly what I was trying to say farangbah...I just couldn't spit the words out in the right order...

Better said by the master himself...LadyboyCrush...

I deduced as much.  Had you had a couple last night whilst posting?  ... you were slurring your grammar...  

[sev7en]

(LadyboyCrush @ Jan. 25 2009,09:47) and I hate lies so much at this point in life...

Me too. And being involved with lbs isn´t the best invoirement.