Supporting the family

[donnnnnny]

(EyeMahk @ Oct. 22 2008,23:00) I have a lot of friends that are married to Thais, I can tell you that those that have a "successful financial relationship" with the family are those that give NOTHING directly to ANYONE in her family. If the farang wants to help, he can do it by giving the wife some money on a regular basis, then she can decide who in the family to give the money to. This saves all the drama, and if the girl has respect for the farang, she will not let her family hassle him.

If you are going to marry her, it is not too much to expect some respect from her (not her family) in return.  If she is strong-willed enough to marry a farang, she is certainly capable of dealing with her family and keeping the farang out of it.

greta post sir sums it up pretty well
donnnnnny

[Stogie]

Thais are incapable of love the way we know it...

Sadly, though... neither am I.

These instant love affairs are cathartic for me and a vital part of my life.

Pour it all out on some poor unsuspecting ladyboy for a day, a week or even a few months and then take a break and move on to the next one.

I have a need to love and be loved, but not all the damn time. Short bursts (he he he!) will do for me!

[bigmick22]

why would anyone ever want to marry someone else?


(let the abuse begin)

[donnnnnny]

samnuek boon koon is less used in the cities these day a but more wide spread in the out lying areas such as Issan.
it can also be used or interpret the wrong way e.(.A little like the Koran is)
Just my guess these days it is used to milk funds from a lot of unsuspecting Falangs.AS poguemahone says, his wife is expected to provide for the familly but her p brother's are not. Gray area i know, but surely his wife was born a man, so therefor why is he she expected to provide>>>
cheers donnnnnny

[sev7en]

(Stogie @ Oct. 23 2008,03:36) I have a need to love and be loved!

Sniff, this brought a tear to my eye.

[jimslim]

Everyone is capable of love the world over , Thais are no different nor are they hard -hearted , as Stogie pointed out they are great opportunists , and a farang who is throwing his money about like confetti in a bar must represent great opportunity.

Rossco makes some interesting points , they do see us as very rich , they don't understand our countries or culture .

I'll give you an example , one ladyboy could not understand why I lived alone , why my mum lived alone , and why my brother and his wife and family also lived in their own place .

I didn't go into it in any great detail but I'm sure she thought we are all very rich or selfish , or both .

From a Thai point of view how we live our lives must seem strange to them , no wonder they love our cash  

[rxpharm]

This discussion is going to very interesting areas - but I think the answer to donnny's question is: Thai men are expected to marry and have a family. Therefore they become responsible to support their own family and less or no support for their parents.

Thai lbs are not expected to marry or have a family - so therefore they have a greater responsibility to support the parents.

Rossco's point about lack of social services is quite true and often we in countries that have them take this for granted and don't factor this in relationships with ggs or lbs where this is not available.

[sev7en]

(bigmick22 @ Oct. 23 2008,03:37) why would anyone ever want to marry someone else?    


(let the abuse begin)

For thais marriage =money.

For falangs marriage =possess , control.

[blonde_havoc]

(bigmick22 @ Oct. 23 2008,03:37) why would anyone ever want to marry someone else?  

Quoting this for truth.

[robbo]

yes me to im sitting here with my mills n boon romantic novel and box of dark choccies feeling weepy, tis nice to see stogie has a heart ..............to be love and be loved....................THEN CARRY ON SHAGGIN REGARDLESS!

[ciobha]

(rossco @ Oct. 23 2008,02:15) They have no concept of your position  - you work all year for a 2/3/4 week vacation and are determined to enjoy yourself - albeit short term.

So here comes the conflict. What will you do long term? It will take many conversations to explain that your hedonistic lifestyle here in LOS is not your normal lifestyle.

This particular statement perfectly sums up one of the main cultural differences between ourselves and P4P Thai's especially. As Rossco rightly said, a huge amount of Thai people genuinely believe that what we do on holiday is how we live our every day lives at home. I remember spending an hour trying to explain to a Thai lady in Samui who i am friendly with,that this is only possible for us on holiday because we save, and work our butts for 47 weeks a year to achieve those 3 or 4 weeks of debauchery. I eventually gave up as she just couldn't accept this
With this in mind it is no wonder they think we are stupid rich farang,with wallet bigger than brain, and it is probably only natural to them that they take advantage of this to benefit themselves and/or their family.

[donnnnnny]

(rxpharm @ Oct. 23 2008,03:47) This discussion is going to very interesting areas - but I think the answer to donnny's question is: Thai men are expected to marry and have a family. Therefore they become responsible to support their own family and less or no support for their parents.

Thai lbs are not expected to marry or have a family - so therefore they have a greater responsibility to support the parents.

Rossco's point about lack of social services is quite true and often we in countries that have them take this for granted and don't factor this in relationships with ggs or lbs where this is not available.

yes rxpharm i understand that , but what about the grey area of the man born a boy becoming a ladyboy and now expected to provide for familly?? is she expected to do so! because she became a Katouy, or 2 because she has a Fal, i suspect that maybe the rules are bent when a falang is involved. ???

cheers flash

[rxpharm]

I think it is a matter of degree - I have met a few lbs not in p4p, and they do support their families more than the sons. Board members who know non p4p hopefully will contribute to this. If I remember correctly Kui supported her family a lot even though she was not in p4p.

[Naang Faa]

Thais are incapable of love the way we know it.

Complete tosh....

Everyone is capable of love the world over , Thais are no different nor are they hard -hearted , as Stogie pointed out they are great opportunists , and a farang who is throwing his money about like confetti in a bar must represent great opportunity.

better...

Donnnnny, i think it's tradition in Thailand the youngest daughter is supposed to take over the family
home and take care of the parents..and in my experience that includes the chomisomeally challenged..
They don't all have farang boyfriends and those who do become phu yai (Big people) in the family and
it's is common practice for phu noi ( little people) to ask for financial help,and refusal causes loss of face
for phu yai.. This is the way they are regardless if a farang is in the picture or not..
It's all about status age,wealth,wisdom,race ect..
e.g I can go to a restaurant with 10 girls,being the eldest and/or wealthiest i can pick up the tab
if i wsh,If we go with a girl of comparative age and she is wealthy then it is insulting to her for me to
pick up the tab because Thai are higher ranked than me in that situation..
It's a complex society...
Rxpharm,yes non p4p are not immune.
x

[TTChang]

(Naang Faa @ Oct. 23 2008,05:50) Complete tosh....  

 

I'm enjoying this thread. Some really good contributons from BMs who've experienced the inside track. I keep telling my regular girl: repeat after me, YOU are #1.  But she doesn't believe it!

Support for parents is ingrained in their psyche.  And my girl was beaten by her Dad for showing LB traits when she was young  ... OK she gives money to her mum!