New Solutions to Old Problems

[Guest]

It is my turn to travel back to LOS now all you fucksticks so get out of my way and let me at those LOS LB's!! I have been reading the LB Forums for about ten months now between trips to LOS. I have now heard every type of complaint and I now have the remedies for all of them. Read on pindicks as you shall learn the secrets of the "Master Monger".


Freebies Solution: For this particular trip I have undergone a complete transformation so as to get freebies as some of you mongers on the board get at an alarming rate. I have been baking my body in the Southern California sun and am now "Issan Dark". I have been to a surgeon in Mexico (at least his sister told me he was a surgeon) and had my facial features worked on to look Thai. (Any BM's (JimSlim, Karl, Mardhi,etc) whom I have previously met will not recognize me now but I will reveal myself to you on July 24th at Guess Bar) I will now pose as Thai in the hidden clubs that the LB's go to late at night after hours and hence get my freebies there. What a plan!! It cannot fail!! I will be retrieving all of the money that you fucksticks pay for ST and LT while posing as their Thai BF. So it really doesn't matter to me what you nimrods pay for ST or LT as it all will go to me eventually!! Please be generous with the gals!!

[Guest]

Noise Solution: For the noise factors in clubs (especially Guess Bar) I have purchased the Bose noise canceling headphones and will wear them every time I enter. My only communication to BF the lb's will be an electronic banner that reads "Short Time=1000 Bhat"

[Guest]

Bareback Solution: I went to the same surgeon in Mexico and he has permanently sealed the end of my penis with some horrible stitching and some very sticky pasty material. Nothing can enter or leave the end of my penis hence no fear of bare backing ever. (Fun for me!!) Now you ask what happens to the semen or urine during an orgasm or urination.....solved again with a tube extending through my nose for the final release. I guess I just have to say I have a very bad runny nose and keep a towel handy.

[Guest]

Bhat Bus rip-offs: I just give the driver 100 Bhat and this way I can have nine more rides. Of course I will mark that particular Bhat Bus with a conspicuous flag or something as they all look alike!

[Guest]

Psycho, Bipolar, Mood Swinging Ladyboys Solution: I will fuck all of them first, Moo, Pond, Ice, Icey, Dicey and the rest and get them all out of the way and then find the honest sincere ones to spend more time with.

[Guest]

LB Friendly hotels: This one took a while but this particular solution is ingenious. I just finished a rock climbing school and have mastered the rope rescue technique. If the front desk gives you the Mai Ow for your LB troop (two or more) then I tell them to go outside while I head up to the room and lower the knotted rope down to them one at a time coaching them up to the room hand over hand by the knotted rope. I suggest small or slim LB's for this event.

[Guest]

Groping Gangs of LB's upon entering a club: When they get too pesky and you can't take it anymore get up and scream "Broken Arrow" and fucking run. They will be bewildered trying to translate that into Thai!!

[Guest]

Large Ladyboy Feet: My eye doctor has prescribed Progressive Lenses for this solution. When I look at their feet it shrinks their size, when I look at their cock it increases the size. Again an easy solution to a concern of BM's here.

[Guest]

Sponsoring of LB's: I had a meeting with Oprah at her home in Malibu and explained our propensity for this activity. She has set aside Ten Million US$ in a schoalrship fund and is building a Rehab shelter in IsaanNakkaRatchammacallit for up to two hundred gals who will learn "Salon Techniques". So now to sponsor just go to Oprahs Website and download the LadyBoy Sponsor Form, fill it out with your Teerak's info and send it in...no money needed!!

[Guest]

Lastly I have to report that I was in a motorcycle accident.....and somehow it made my dick larger!!

Postscript: Please feel free to add or comment on these solutions as I know there are many more that we weary Mongers encounter in our journeys of lust and love in LOS!! See all of you soon as the Master Monger meanders merrily over to LOS on July 24th. And of course beers are on me upon arrival at Guess Bar to any BM who can recognize me with my new "That BF Disguise"!!

[Guest]

Meant "Thai BF Disguise"....fuck me I made it all the way through without SB bouncing me for spelling and the last fucking sentence I fuck up!!

[jackc]

Sounds like you have put your absence in LOS to good use, very devious plans you have there. You do know though that it'll all be for nothing the moment that special teerak catches your eye at the first chance encounter in the mall during your first afternoon in LOS while you are busy stocking up for your trip. Then you are well and truly fucked, but in a very nice way of course.

Personally, your Psycho, Bipolar Mood Swinging ladyboy solution is my favourite. Please let us know in your trip report how that went.

[sev7en]

You need to be drunk on cheap thai whiskey and high on yaba to pass as a thai bf  in them discos.
Shouldn´t be a problem for you.
I like the Broken Arrow alert. I can see Top in GB trying to figure that one out

[shrimpsoup]

whatewer.

[sev7en]

Come on, shrimpsoup, it´s funny.
Maybe you paid too much ST and now aperry gets it, in that night/market/disco in Ratchada. (always forget the name of it, but that´s where gatoon, monica ,eye and may, etc head after closing).