Does it take a "different" kind of guy

[jaymee]

I'm really curious on the above. My SO found out about me recently via googling some stuff on myself - which really was my fault in the first place since I was googling about his ex gf.

Anyways - he didn't seem totally angry but seemed extremely curious and "elated" to some degree (he was smiling to be precise when we talked after work). I've met folks who were extremely interested in my past after finding out so I'm not exactly sure if he's turned off or something - even though he's asking so much.

He has admitted having one night stands with ladyboys prior to him finding out - however he said he did so during his army days where it was apparently OK to do so - I get the feeling the average guy doesn't venture into this isn't it ?

He's out drinking with his mates still so I'm here wondering about the potential blowback. He happens to be one of my managers as well as a virgo and my close girlfriends tell me he'd be fine with it as long as other people didn't know - since virgo's place a ton of emphasis on pride.

So back to the topic title - does it take a unique type of guy who'd be into transgirls at all? Since the idea seems to be repulsive to most dudes. I'm trying to gauge if he'd still be into me since his mental frame of me seems to have shifted considerably - he used to suspect I had a kid before coming to the current revelation

[stogie bear]

I'm a Virgo! It takes a certain strength of character (or just recklessness) to give up everything (or even somethings) to make a transgendered relationship work.

It gets complicated socially, politically and your families and fellow workers will all want a say in how you run your life.

Fooling around with one of your supervisors probably won't do either of you much good, by the way!

Good luck... but it takes super human effort to make it work in the climate of today.

In ten or fifteen years it won't even be something worth mentioning...

[seamus]

lets hope so Stogie, that would make me about your age

[Looker]

(jaymee @ Apr. 24 2008,01:28) He happens to be one of my managers as well as a virgo

I would put the virgo thingy out of the picture for a while.
But dating someone who's working in the same company, and at higher level than yours? Aiyooooo
Girl, I strongly suggest you find someone as a valid alternative to him

[goldmountain]

(jaymee @ Apr. 24 2008,01:28) He has admitted having one night stands with ladyboys prior to him finding out - however he said he did so during his army days where it was apparently OK to do so - I get the feeling the average guy doesn't venture into this isn't it ?

Winston Churchill never said "The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash." I cannot see how being in the army would make it "OK" for a red-blooded guy to have sex with someone with a penis. I conjecture that he probably enjoys playing somewhere downfield on Brocklanders' gay-straight continuum, at least IMHO.

(jaymee @ Apr. 24 2008,01:28) my close girlfriends tell me he'd be fine with it as long as other people didn't know - since virgo's place a ton of emphasis on pride.

This screams trouble. The guy needs to have the cojones to always hold your hand with pride, even if it were to spite his parents or his "mates".

Self-respect is important, and self-respect is distinct from pride, which too often is a brittle shield for guys lacking confidence. Pride becomes a vice when it gets thumped and makes a coward go wobbly.

Much more important than face is a stiff spine. When it comes to the girl he loves, he should stiffen up and remember how lucky he is to have you and to HELL with whatever anyone else thinks.

I'm not religious at all but there is something from Genesis that says a guy is to leave his parents and give all his love and respect to his girl. Well if the guy should cut the umbilical cord to his parents and become his own man, then he should cut the cord to any friends who are unwilling to accept his girlfriend.

[goldmountain]

Why I like transsexual women...

I used to do a lot of internet dating, and my first experience with a transsexual woman was someone I met a few years ago on the internet. I did not know when we met and even though we went on lots of dates we only made out once (clothes on) before I googled her. I brainlessly freaked and stopped calling her, but I kept thinking of her because we had fun together and I liked the person I had met, so I emailed her and I was so happy when she emailed right back. Well, the relationship progressed and we ultimately shared some good times.

So I ask myself, what about those events were key in stimulating my interest in transsexual women?

First, it was not the sex that drove the relationship, as I enjoyed being around her prior to it ever becoming an intimate relationship. Sex was an incredible way of strengthening an emotional bond that already existed.

So if my interest is not driven by sex, what's up? Might it be something about me?

Partly. I feel no strong desire for kids unless my partner really wanted to have them or adopt. Some guys feel a primal urge to disseminate their DNA. I don't. There is also a certain liberation in not having to worry about pregnancy or the menstrual cycle and its related mood swings.

What I like about transsexual women:

1) Emotional stability: Sure there are the nutters out there, but I find transsexual women are much more like women on the pill... the absence of catamenial hormonal swings correlates with less emotional lability.

2) Heart/empathy: Transsexual women are too often hurt by family who should ostensibly love them, yet condemn them for who they are and for seeking a better life. These women know cruelty, yet by-and-large practice love. Compared to the stone-throwing god squad, I have seen transsexual women show more Christian love by repaying hurt with kindness. I can think of times when I have listened to a girl's thoughts and her's have moderated mine and made me a better person.

3) Feminity: Transsexual women are more feminine than most GG's and try harder to look beautiful. And I am a man who appreciates female beauty.

4) Female intuition: It is fun to talk about people and the world with a transsexual woman, because there is not much she misses about people. They are the ultimate students of human nature and psychology, and I think they have an advantage over guys because their brains are female. And any inherent ability is honed by studying women, trying to understand how to not be suspected and by anticipating what others may be thinking about them. The result is an insight that usually blows me away.

I can't imagine being born in the wrong body and the terrible feelings of discomfort and self disgust that ensue. Surely, transsexual women are victims of a random but major birth defect (a believer in God must concede that the celestial dictator is a vicious, or at least incompetent, creator). Yet, they have in many cases transcended these difficulties and had the guts to make a better life for themselves while trying not to hurt others. I respect this and I do not fault anyone for having overcome a birth defect.

[alan1chef]

Very well put. I think that relationships are made on the emotional level first and foremost, then on a sexual level. As for relationships with LB's...I survived cancer 28 years ago and I appreciate the "survivor" mentality of my current gf.

[goldmountain]

(alan1chef @ Apr. 27 2008,12:47) I appreciate the "survivor" mentality of my current gf.

YES. I too appreciate their core resistance to adversity and their tenacity in overcoming the lot dealt to them. I like strong and determined, but feminine, women... it's sexy.

[alan1chef]

Very sexy. The more tenacious, the more adventurous, and the more spontaneous. No wonder I like LB's.

[kahuna]

(goldmountain @ Apr. 26 2008,23:15) Why I like transsexual women...

Tell me, do you live in Neverland with Peter Pan?

[stogie bear]

Good posts, goldmountain. Welcome to the forum.

[pacman]

I concur with Stogie 100%      

There are not 10 contributors on here who could have written such a cogent analysis of transsexuals.

You revealed great insight & sympathy for the subject. I once concerned myself with the existential crisis faced by flightless birds until I ran up against the problems faced by our LB friends.

I must remember never to side against you in a debate, though given your level of awareness, I doubt it will be a problem.

Maximum respect sir ......  

Tell me, have you ever come across Messrs Ziggy, Doug or surferboy ..... just wondering ....    

[pacman]

(kahuna @ Apr. 27 2008,16:30)

(goldmountain @ Apr. 26 2008,23:15) Why I like transsexual women...

Tell me, do you live in Neverland with Peter Pan?

Kahuna, you go from the sublime to the ridiculous .... WTF are you getting at here ??

[goldmountain]

(pacman @ Apr. 27 2008,17:48)

(kahuna @ Apr. 27 2008,16:30)

(goldmountain @ Apr. 26 2008,23:15) Why I like transsexual women...

Tell me, do you live in Neverland with Peter Pan?

Kahuna, you go from the sublime to the ridiculous .... WTF are you getting at here ??        

I reckon that if I had written: "Why I like transsexuals... because I like to suck cock", then that is something with which he could have easily identified.

I won't return Kahuna's insult by implying he is the one with Peter Pan Syndrome. Such babies generally can't maintain relationships with normal women, transsexual or not, and I really can't speak to Kahuna's facility with that. But I will point out that the most salient feature Kahuna shares with those immature boymen is that, generally at least, they are men with a taste for dick.

However, I am a man who enjoys the whole woman. And I know that it is possible to have a relationship with a well-adjusted transsexual girl that is not baht-based and quid-pro-quo. And if in response to my thoughts, a self-described ladyboy worshipping dicksucker hisses that I am infantile and living in a fantasy world, I'll be the one laughing.

[goldmountain]

(pacman @ Apr. 27 2008,17:46) I concur with Stogie 100%      

There are not 10 contributors on here who could have written such a cogent analysis of transsexuals.

You revealed great insight & sympathy for the subject. I once concerned myself with the existential crisis faced by flightless birds until I ran up against the problems faced by our LB friends.

I must remember never to side against you in a debate, though given your level of awareness, I doubt it will be a problem.

Maximum respect sir ......  

Tell me, have you ever come across Messrs Ziggy, Doug or surferboy ..... just wondering ....    

I was going to ask the same of you! Your sarcasm suggests that your panties are in a bunch, possibly over the gay-straight continuum crack... Well, as you may recall, Ziggy was the one who used to have hissy fits over those sort of implications. Only in composing your response, you simultaneously conjured Doug and surferboy by making it both verbose and bitchy, respectively. Nice work!