'jumping from girl to girl'

[liisawinkler]

i am sorry about that funny post guys but I would like to share something about myself. Sometimes when I am with my lb friends we flirt with some local guys and we have drinks with them and we also go 'wild' with them but that is mostly in the spirit of 'partying' and 'enjoying the moment.' Nothing is serious about this. Yes there may be lovemaking, there may not be but I just enjoy the moment that I have with my friends when I have the chance...

[Guest]

so wink? are you a faithful girl by your admission?

[liisawinkler]

yes icecyle....

[Mai-Kee]

When you "flirt with some local guys" - how's their perception of you? I suppose you know most of them a very long time - as Cebu is not such a big city. So they may have known you before your transition. And how do you approach them now?
It's a question about acceptance & role of tg's in general and your personal goals.

MK

Mk

[liisawinkler]

local guys still are afraid that they might be reputed to be going out with LBs and so most of the time when we hang out with them it's usually under circumstances where there does not have to be too many people or when there are people usually on a very casual occasion...

correction! I barely know the guys around my neighborhood because I do not go out that much and most of them also do not know me...works well for me because the element of them not being familiar with this new 'girl; is there

[Mai-Kee]

Well, put it this way: In general, do you prefer PI boys or western men - and why?

MK

[liisawinkler]

Fifth Amendment coming up...........

[The Violator]

That's not fair... How come we never got the first four amendments?

[Guest]

the fifth only applies to us citizens  

spill the beans...athough you already answered

[Guest]

Salma:  

Here is (more or less) the Sociobiological / Evolutionary Psychological explanation.  This perspective might not be popular, but it is the ascendant view among academics.  First, it's notable that 980 of the 1154 past or present societies for which anthropologists have data have permitted a man to have more than one wife €“ are polygamous €“ and the figure is 100% for primitive hunter-gatherer societies.   For 43% of the 980 polygynous cultures, plogyny is classified as €˜occasional.'  Where monogamous societies are highly stratified (all modern cultures) polygamy lurks stubbornly beneath their surface, a tendency which is assuaged through transfers of money €“ a dowry.  Only 7% of societies on record have socially imposed monogamy, but these societies account for 77% of societies with a dowry tradition.  

The purported reason that men support the inconveniences of monogamy is that high status (e.g., rich) men tend to get many wives, while low status men (the majority) get none.  In large complex societies, this creates tensions (violence, cheating, etc.) which can ultimately undo the social structure.  Thus monogamy is the price that high-status men pay to maintain the society that gives them status.  (This argument is based on work by Alexander, Gaulin and Boster).    Thus monogamy itself is highly artificial, needs to be enforced through social vigilance, and is abandoned by men wherever the chance arises.

So what happens when a society assigns a relatively low status to (or simply ignores, or worse, censures) a particular class of mate €“ e.g., ladyboys?   The men tend to gravitate towards polygamy €“ or at least towards serial monogamy €“ with respect to these mates, because the society is mute on its norms for these sorts of relationships.  

Where does the PI sit?  No question that the concentration of wealth and power in the hands of a few families, and a Roman Catholic tradition extending back centuries has imposed a highly stratefied, socially imposed monogamist society on the PI; the latter has relegated anything other than strictly conventional couples-pairings into the 'socially unacceptable' low status category.

You asked "why?" and this is the best answer I know (I think it is correct too). Unfortunately, it is not simple, nor does it point the path towards "true love".  Sorry. This may be why you asked the question to begin with.


Again, make what you will of this, it does seem to explain a lot of the behavior we hear talked of on this board.

[Guest]

Stogie bear - don't want to argue over minutae here, but you might want check the defintion of compatible.

Stogie - Yikes! Rather you than me! The relationships where I have had compatible partners are the dullest shortest ones I have had!

I'd say that Kui and I were about as incompatible as two people can get, but we share our love, intelligence and sex drives equally! LSI!

Tony - Sharing those things and existing together is very nearly the exact defintion of compatible. You could not share love, intelligence, and sex drives equally if you were incompatible (unable to co-exist harmoniously). Compatible does not mean that two people are exactly the same and share everything in common. True, no one lives together completely free from conflict (again, part of the definition for compatible), but to have what you Kui do ... well simply put you are compatible despite your differences. This is also my point; we share the same sentiments. I want to find someone with whom I can share joy and suffering together and to enjoy being together as much as possible.

Peace, Tony

[Guest]

i agree with many of the things mentioned in this post but what was never mentioned is the "catch 22" of having a relationship with a lb. many of the post this month (thanks to Jon feeling jaded) has answered your question salma. if you read many of the post this month you can understand what i mean by the "catch 22". lets just say that a lb who wanted a LTR meets a guy that only treated her like a object. thanks to that relationship she gets jaded , or worst get involved in the LB society that tells her that no real man can love a LB so just use them and take as much money from them as possible. now take a man that really wanted to have a relationship (and there are VERY FEW of us) with her. but thanks to her past experience she now only wants one thing from him. so after spending hundreds or thousands of HARD earned money on her, he finds out that she was just using him. so now he is jaded. so the next time he wants a LB he thinks she is just like the last one. so now there is a very nasty cycle. everyone thinks the other person is out to use them. i agree what Jon has mention MANY times in the forum about how foolish guys are when they send money to their "sweethearts" thinking that they are the only one and the LB is just laughing about it. but lets face it, to MOST guys a lb is just a fetish and those are the same type of guys that do the samething to women as well.
i have been in 2 relationships with lbs and for us guys that been there know how hard that really is. we have to deal with the mood swings that the hormones causes and all the fears that they have. most guys can not handle being in that kind of relationship so they only have very short ones with them. as what was stated in this post, how many guys are willing to make sacrafies to be in a relationship with a LB. most guys that travel overseas are looking for sex and with as many lbs as possible during their time there. as i stated above, it is a nasty cycle but that is reality.

[Guest]

good post, WM, and we must all remember that about 90% of all ladyboy-lovers  must live in the west and don't have the luxury of seeing their favorite girls 12 months a year.  I think, if a guy like you could live in BKK or Pattaya full-time, he could find a real girlfriend  who would stay with him exclusively.  But for guys who only go there 3 or 4 weeks a year, it's pointless;  the girl is   not being faithful when he is away, no matter how much money he sends; the girl will always want more and will continue to work.

          the main reason I get so jaded a few times a year [I was sending posts like that in 2002 also but Blue Ballz and others convinced me that it was bringing down the group so I stopped] is that when i sit down and really think about it, I realize that ALL my friends are prostitutes!  that is a strange feeling, you know?  Literally every girl I know sells her body for money. In the states I know about 5  hookers and that's it; in Asia I know hundreds and it's hard NOT to get jaded  when you stay there 6 months per year and meet as many as I do and realize that most of them only care about your wallet.  I mean, I like ladyboys very much, but perhaps the main reason I 'jump from girl to girl' is because I know that they are doing the same with men.  

        I suppose I will always butterfly because I like variety and trying new things, and as I have said many times as long as I am hanging in the circles that I hang in, I will never meet a 'nice girl'.    which is cool; I am not a  'nice guy'  LOL

 Jon

[liisawinkler]

heheh I guess the feeling and the actions towards each other (ladyboy and man) are mutual....she hooks, he butterflies around....

[PigDogg]

Quite an interesting thread! I can identify with much that's been written above.

On my first few trips, I was with as many ladyboys (and girls) as possible. It's an incredible rush to be able to walk into a bar and have any girl I want. So I butterflied because I could. It's the way I'm programed and the ways most guys are programed.
The only thing that's somewhat missing is that it's not quite a conquest because it's so easy.

On my last trip had a few mini-relationships and it added a new dimension beyond sex.
I got to see how beautiful inside and out a couple of ladyboys were. And I think they enjoyed hanging with a fun loving jaidee guy despite the fact that I'm no young studmuffin.

But being in the LOS for four weeks a year, it's not going to be a commited relationship. No sense fooling myself. So if I'm taking a long trip, I'll butterfly for a few days and then see a girlfriend. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Beacuse I can.

Young women have always been attracted to rich and powerful men. When I'm in Thailand I'm rich and powerful, which is pretty cool too! But I'm well aware that if the money was gone she'd be gone. At the same time if all these ladyboys were my age instead of half my age, well then I'd be gone.

Some of this may make me seem like a real pig but I'm just being honest.

What Stogie said really hit home. That as much as we might envy him for having an absolutely georgeous sweetheart with a university degree and real job, most of us are simply not willing the pay the price of totally uprooting our lives for an uncertain future. We prefer to be in our comfort zone instead of living life to the fullest.