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Patpong is a big place with lots going on. It has disco€™s, live entertainment, restaurants, bars, massage parlors, karaoke and more. Most of the problems attributed to patpong are deserved, but can be worked around if you know how.
1. Touts. When you see a Thai ahead step into your path, that€™s a tout. And he has just made you his next mark. Do not step away which shows a sign of weakness, but instead hold your ground or even walk into his path to establish you have the right of way, not him. Do not make eye contact, do not hesitate, do no reply, do not say a polite no thank you. Anything like that will stoke the fire of him trying to do a sell job. Keep walking like he does not exist. For the really persistent ones simply point at something up ahead. It will first distract him and secondly show that you are going somewhere and aren€™t interested in his place.
2. Why avoid the touts? Besides the annoyance, there are two main reasons. First, they bring you to the worst places that can€™t get customers on their own because they either have old hags or are rip-offs. Second, when a tout leads you to a place, he gets a commission. This commission is paid out of your pocket by charging you a higher price.
3. Taxis. Taxis are a good option late at night, otherwise use the trains to bypass traffic. When you see a parked taxi at a tourist area in Bangkok, it€™s probably a scam and patpong is no exception to this. Never take a price quote, they are ripping you off and this is illegal. Insist on the meter every time or move to the next taxi. The meter is never broken so don€™t fall for that. The easiest way to get a legit taxi out of patpong is to simply cross the street away from the wolves waiting for easy prey. If you think taxi drivers aren€™t making enough money, then reward the honest one that uses the meter with a tip rather than encourage scam artists.
4. Sky train. It€™s roughly 20 minutes and 35 baht from Nana to Patpong and you do switch trains. Patpong also has a subway station nearby.
5. Night market / gogo€™s. Arriving by sky train you can totally bypass the patpong night market. Don€™t walk through it unless you feel like browsing because it is tight and single file so every time someone ahead stops to browse, it stops you. Instead walk along the edge of Silom road. You will be walking at full speed with nothing to stop you except dodging the occasional cart. Turn right into patpong 2 where you see a giant place selling luggage on the corner, turn left at the alley past foodland and you will be at Kings Corner (post ops). King€™s castle 3 (KC3) with pre-ops is a stone€™s throw across the street. If you decide to buy anything at the night market, be sure to walk off first until they have shouted their last price at you. Girl gogo€™s in patpong are average. Go to Kiss bar for music, Electric blue for atmosphere.
6. Pricing. Of the big 3 entertainment places (Nana and Soi Cowboy are the two others), patpong is the cheapest. Often you will find 100 baht drinks in the gogo€™s, 60 baht or so in the beer bars, and 500 baht barfines. Ask the price on your first visit to a bar.
7. Ladydrinks. You don€™t need to buy any if you don€™t want, but the more you do the more attention you will create. Just don€™t get too carried away.
8. Stay downstairs. The prices are above board in downstairs venues for the last 5 years or so. Upstairs there are still clip joints that will milk you out of show fees, extreme drink prices, cover charges, and so forth. If you insist on seeing one of those weird sex shows upstairs with naked girls and darts, go to a bar with the word Queen Castle in it. They are the same owner as KC3 and King Corner and tend to be honest, many others whole game plan is to bilk you. If you do not follow this advice and end up with a big bill with unexpected charges, get the police. Pay only for what you ordered, nothing more. Do not negotiate somewhere in the middle because this is working exactly to their sinister plan.
9. BJ bars. There are a number of bars that specialize in BJ€™s with Star of Light being the most famous. You only enter these bars for this one purpose. You can get serviced in a small room (no bed) or even on your barstool. There is nothing like specialists. These girls are trained to perfection and not even ladyboys can give you a BJ that feels like this. In case you are wondering, these are BBBJ.
10. Shows. The best shows are on soi twilight, the gay district across Surawong road. Bring your barfine here, even if you aren€™t gay. Here you will see the weirdest stuff like sex in swimming pools, on trapezes, S&M, and some amazing artsy fartsy stuff too. Shows are twice nightly; 10pm and midnight. When they aren€™t doing shows, these places are the most boring bars on earth€”guys standing in a row with their hands behind their back. Drinks are 200 baht, double our girl/ladyboy bars!
The streets are laid out like this, sandwiched between Silom and Surawong road:
Patpong 1 (aka Soi 1): this is the main road and has most of the gogo€™s including KC3 and King€™s Corner. Lucifers up from KC3 is a good techno/trance dance disco, but may not get going until midnight.
Patpong 2 (aka Soi 2): this has most of the beer bars. Pinocchio beer bar has a few average ladyboys and is open in the daytime as well, as early as 10am.
Soi 4: this has some cool restaurants and bars and 80% caters to the gay scene with The Balcony perhaps being the most famous place.
(sky train is here)
Soi Thaniya: this is the road for Japanese patrons and mostly off limits if you are not at least with someone Japanese.
1. Touts. When you see a Thai ahead step into your path, that€™s a tout. And he has just made you his next mark. Do not step away which shows a sign of weakness, but instead hold your ground or even walk into his path to establish you have the right of way, not him. Do not make eye contact, do not hesitate, do no reply, do not say a polite no thank you. Anything like that will stoke the fire of him trying to do a sell job. Keep walking like he does not exist. For the really persistent ones simply point at something up ahead. It will first distract him and secondly show that you are going somewhere and aren€™t interested in his place.
2. Why avoid the touts? Besides the annoyance, there are two main reasons. First, they bring you to the worst places that can€™t get customers on their own because they either have old hags or are rip-offs. Second, when a tout leads you to a place, he gets a commission. This commission is paid out of your pocket by charging you a higher price.
3. Taxis. Taxis are a good option late at night, otherwise use the trains to bypass traffic. When you see a parked taxi at a tourist area in Bangkok, it€™s probably a scam and patpong is no exception to this. Never take a price quote, they are ripping you off and this is illegal. Insist on the meter every time or move to the next taxi. The meter is never broken so don€™t fall for that. The easiest way to get a legit taxi out of patpong is to simply cross the street away from the wolves waiting for easy prey. If you think taxi drivers aren€™t making enough money, then reward the honest one that uses the meter with a tip rather than encourage scam artists.
4. Sky train. It€™s roughly 20 minutes and 35 baht from Nana to Patpong and you do switch trains. Patpong also has a subway station nearby.
5. Night market / gogo€™s. Arriving by sky train you can totally bypass the patpong night market. Don€™t walk through it unless you feel like browsing because it is tight and single file so every time someone ahead stops to browse, it stops you. Instead walk along the edge of Silom road. You will be walking at full speed with nothing to stop you except dodging the occasional cart. Turn right into patpong 2 where you see a giant place selling luggage on the corner, turn left at the alley past foodland and you will be at Kings Corner (post ops). King€™s castle 3 (KC3) with pre-ops is a stone€™s throw across the street. If you decide to buy anything at the night market, be sure to walk off first until they have shouted their last price at you. Girl gogo€™s in patpong are average. Go to Kiss bar for music, Electric blue for atmosphere.
6. Pricing. Of the big 3 entertainment places (Nana and Soi Cowboy are the two others), patpong is the cheapest. Often you will find 100 baht drinks in the gogo€™s, 60 baht or so in the beer bars, and 500 baht barfines. Ask the price on your first visit to a bar.
7. Ladydrinks. You don€™t need to buy any if you don€™t want, but the more you do the more attention you will create. Just don€™t get too carried away.
8. Stay downstairs. The prices are above board in downstairs venues for the last 5 years or so. Upstairs there are still clip joints that will milk you out of show fees, extreme drink prices, cover charges, and so forth. If you insist on seeing one of those weird sex shows upstairs with naked girls and darts, go to a bar with the word Queen Castle in it. They are the same owner as KC3 and King Corner and tend to be honest, many others whole game plan is to bilk you. If you do not follow this advice and end up with a big bill with unexpected charges, get the police. Pay only for what you ordered, nothing more. Do not negotiate somewhere in the middle because this is working exactly to their sinister plan.
9. BJ bars. There are a number of bars that specialize in BJ€™s with Star of Light being the most famous. You only enter these bars for this one purpose. You can get serviced in a small room (no bed) or even on your barstool. There is nothing like specialists. These girls are trained to perfection and not even ladyboys can give you a BJ that feels like this. In case you are wondering, these are BBBJ.
10. Shows. The best shows are on soi twilight, the gay district across Surawong road. Bring your barfine here, even if you aren€™t gay. Here you will see the weirdest stuff like sex in swimming pools, on trapezes, S&M, and some amazing artsy fartsy stuff too. Shows are twice nightly; 10pm and midnight. When they aren€™t doing shows, these places are the most boring bars on earth€”guys standing in a row with their hands behind their back. Drinks are 200 baht, double our girl/ladyboy bars!
The streets are laid out like this, sandwiched between Silom and Surawong road:
Patpong 1 (aka Soi 1): this is the main road and has most of the gogo€™s including KC3 and King€™s Corner. Lucifers up from KC3 is a good techno/trance dance disco, but may not get going until midnight.
Patpong 2 (aka Soi 2): this has most of the beer bars. Pinocchio beer bar has a few average ladyboys and is open in the daytime as well, as early as 10am.
Soi 4: this has some cool restaurants and bars and 80% caters to the gay scene with The Balcony perhaps being the most famous place.
(sky train is here)
Soi Thaniya: this is the road for Japanese patrons and mostly off limits if you are not at least with someone Japanese.
acurate and well put together. love the first one about the touts 
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