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[stogie bear]

If you have not told him by now but still allowed him to agree to marry you then why would you think about telling him now?

The future of this 'LTR' is already doomed because you have been hiding important things from him that he really should know.

Assuming you are serious about this guy you should either never tell him or tell him now and give him a couple of weeks to stew on it.

[Monkey]

(stogie bear @ Nov. 14 2007,11:00) Assuming you are serious about this guy you should either never tell him...

ahh, I thought of that but he will find out one day

what will his reaction be when he discovers the truth in 5 years time?

[jaymee]

Thanks for the welcome and replies so far

Well I've gained the habit of not telling since I realised it greatly enhances the size of my dating pool - but of course the quantity doesn't guarantee quality...

Its really tiring to know someone though and getting him all confused over his sexuality etc...

I'm not sure why he hasn't been able to tell since I do think it never looks perfect down there - but then again his ex gf was with him for 8 years - he's 26 now...

About the preop comment - I happen to agree in some way that guys who would be into trans would more than likely prefer pres to posties.

I hope my english's decent since its the language I speak most.

[Monkey]

Its really tiring to know someone though and getting him all confused over his sexuality etc...

hey, you're a post-op so there's absolutely nothing in the remotest part 'gay' on either side as far as I can see
I have always thought of pre-ops as girls and see nothing gay in that either to be honest...

however, not all guys think like me, you are the one to know his likely reaction as you are engaged to him, if he can't handle it then that's his loss. Find someone who will accept you for who you are not what you were...

I hope my english's decent since its the language I speak most.

yup, your English is fine, better than half the other BMs I meant it is a little 'too good'

[Stewart]

postop TS since i was 21ish? I've not really told the guy I'm with

How can you "not really" tell him. Either you have or you haven't?

[Stewart]

(stogie bear @ Nov. 14 2007,19:00) If you have not told him by now but still allowed him to agree to marry you then why would you think about telling him now?

The future of this 'LTR' is already doomed because you have been hiding important things from him that he really should know.

Assuming you are serious about this guy you should either never tell him or tell him now and give him a couple of weeks to stew on it.

Errrr, what's going to happen on the legal side ie you have to show birth certificates/ID's to get married or something, no?

I'm with Stogie. If someone I married (or was even going out with semi-seriously) held back on something big, and I found out - trust broken, bye bye

Next.....do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that is so stupid/naive that they cannot tell a postie down there?

Finally, I live in Spore.....can you let me know when and where you are going to tell him so I can come and watch!? Maybe I can sell tickets?

[jaymee]

How can you "not really" tell him. Either you have or you haven't?

Well I did joke about it with him and asked him if he'd still like me if I was a guy... and he said if I was a guy now he'd go gay for me. Something along that lines...

I mean the way he said it seemed to be all in a jest - so then again I'm not sure if my indirect suggestions constitute telling him at all.

[jaymee]

(Stewart @ Nov. 14 2007,19:53)

(stogie bear @ Nov. 14 2007,19:00) If you have not told him by now but still allowed him to agree to marry you then why would you think about telling him now?

The future of this 'LTR' is already doomed because you have been hiding important things from him that he really should know.

Assuming you are serious about this guy you should either never tell him or tell him now and give him a couple of weeks to stew on it.

Errrr, what's going to happen on the legal side ie you have to show birth certificates/ID's to get married or something, no?

I'm with Stogie. If someone I married (or was even going out with semi-seriously) held back on something big, and I found out - trust broken, bye bye

Next.....do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that is so stupid/naive that they cannot tell a postie down there?

Finally, I live in Spore.....can you let me know when and where you are going to tell him so I can come and watch!? Maybe I can sell tickets?  

Mmmm well yeah if I was sure what to do I wouldn't be posting here at all.

I know it sounds incredible but it seems that most guys (at least those I've dated) who are not into transgirls seem a little more oblivious to the plumbing. Also he might not know cos I always refuse him going down on me.

I'm probably going to break the news if I eventually consider it over MSN or something - so sorry no tickets   The only thing holding me back is that we work in the same industry where people seem to be connected by 2 or 3 degrees... so I'm worried about my career suffering should word get out.

Glad anyways to know someone from Singapore as well - I could use some new friends as well rather than simply just whining on my posts.  

P.s. I think the emoticons here are really cute

[Monkey]

maybe it was in jest, maybe he was wishing you still had a penis...

and he said if I was a guy now...

there you go, he know's, the keyword is now


he has more than likely sussed you out a long time ago but doesn't know how to approach the subject in case he is wrong and is waiting to see if and when you'll come clean about it

what if you were a GG with previous problems, how would the conversation go?

him - honey, tell me about when you had your dick cut off
you - fu*k off I'm a girl

I'm probably going to break the news if I eventually consider it over MSN or something

on MSN ffs? over dinner in a restaurant is more appropriate!


as for your career suffering because of it, sue their asses off if you can in Singapore

[stogie bear]

I'm probably going to break the news ... over MSN or something!

Classic!

[rxpharm]

jaymee, you are very articulate, intelligent, able to attract guys! I am not sure this is the best place to look for the answer to a very difficult question you face.

I am one of the oddballs here as I prefer postop ts/lbs. I would have to agree with most guys here that you must tell him before the marriage. If he truly loves you, he should be able to accept this. However, what are his views on having a family? Does he want to have children with you? This might be a bigger challenge than you being a ts, unless he agrees to something like adoption (this is of course assuming you want a family too).

I know you are hesitant, because if you tell him and he cannot handle it - and tells your co-workers, it will create a lot of problems for you.

I would suggest you try the following - find some ts themed movies (Soldier's Girl is probably a good one) and see what his reaction is like. This might give you an inkling of what his reaction might be if you told him the truth.

I wish you the best as you look for the answer to this problem!

[Stewart]

find some ts themed movies (Soldier's Girl is probably a good one) and see what his reaction is like.

Don't be a woos!

"Big-Dicked Asian Transexuals go to the Donkey Farm with a tube of KY" is also a good one. I don't think you have time to be subtle about this!!

[Monkey]

(Stewart @ Nov. 14 2007,14:23) I don't think you have time to be subtle about this!!

Stewart aka The King of Subtlety

Are free lessons available?

[rxpharm]

(Stewart @ Nov. 14 2007,20:23)

find some ts themed movies (Soldier's Girl is probably a good one) and see what his reaction is like.

Don't be a woos!

"Big-Dicked Asian Transexuals go to the Donkey Farm with a tube of KY" is also a good one. I don't think you have time to be subtle about this!!

Hey Stewart, are you offering from your private collection or do you know places in SG that have these videos?

[Stewart]

yup, your English is fine, better than half the other BMs I meant it is a little 'too good'

Singaporean Chinese speak great English. I emloy several of them, and they are always correctingf my spelling and grammar!