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I'm in probably the strangest personal situation I've ever been in (bearing in mind I'm probably one of the most vanilla and boring LB mongers in the history of mongering - so this probably isn't that weird as most of the problems posted on this board go!) - will explain my situation, any and all thoughts welcome.
About a week before Xmas, I arranged to have dinner with a good mate of mine who is Korean-American (let's call him Jim). His girlfriend (Sally) came along, and she brought a friend of her's (Gina) who was in town from Seoul for a couple of days on vacation. Initially I just thought Gina was kind of cute, but over the course of the evening she really started to grow on me and by the end of the night, I had the full-blown hots for her.
Jim is totally fluent in English whereas his GF Sally is about 60% fluent and her friend Gina is only about 30% fluent. Gina was using a Korean to English phrasebook to communicate with me, which I found kind of charming. Jim also had to do a lot of translating for both of the girls.
At some point during the night, Gina went outside to take a call and I told Jim that I thought she was very cute. Jim told Sally and they had a quick chat in Korean, which I do not speak. All Jim would tell me was that Sally said Gina liked me as well.
We finished up at the restaurant and as Jim is an early riser, after dinner drinks were not going to happen. I was trying to figure out how to make a move on Gina, bearing in mind that she doesn't speak great English, but despite desperately running through some strategies in my head, couldn't figure out a way to do it that wouldn't lead to incomprehension and total embarassment. However, I was saved as Gina asked Jim to ask me in English if the 4 of us could have dinner again before she went back to Seoul. Of course I agreed.
When I got home, before turning in for the night, I texted Jim and basically told him that I was seriously into Gina.
Jim called me the next day after work to say that Gina was married with 2 kids. I asked him why the hell she would indicate interest in me if this was the case, and he said that she was separated from her husband and was seriously thinking of getting a divorce. I got the impression that Jim barely knew Gina (whereas she is very close to his girlfriend Sally) and was actually kind of pissed off to have been told all of this stuff as he seemed to feel like his girlfriend was trying to set me up with a real lemon.
The 4 of us had dinner again later that week, and Gina was a little more stand-offish but still seemed kind of interested. She didn't have her phrasebook with her and communication was a little more difficult. I did manage to convince the 3 of them to have a drink with me after dinner, and used the opportunity to lead into a conversation about how I visit Seoul pretty regularly on business. I had no trips planned as such but told Gina that I would like to see her next time I was in town, which would be before the end of March. She said we could have dinner again in Seoul.
I tried to get Gina's number and/or email address but couldn't get through - either she wasn't willing to go that far (which I know isn't far at all, but with the husband in the picture who knows what was going through her mind) or alternatively she just plain didn't understand.
Without going into every detail, I strongly got the feeling that Jim thought this was a really bad idea, whereas his girlfriend Sally still seemed to be trying to set me and Gina up.
We parted on good terms and I reiterated again that I would see Gina in Seoul.
That was a couple of weeks ago and I have not been able to get Gina out of my mind since.
I confronted Jim today and told him that I wanted his help to see Gina again in Seoul. Jim flat out refused to put me in touch - his explanation was that for Korean cultural reasons, which I don't understand, there is a very strong chance in his view that Gina will ultimately get back together with her husband, and he was just trying to spare me from wasting my time chasing an impossible dream. He also pointed out that we could barely communicate without his help as an interpreter, so how the hell could we communicate without an interpreter.
I was completely frustrated but Jim, who is genuinely a good friend of mine, insisted it was for my own benefit that I just forget Gina and move onto easier targets. One thing is that when he first told me about the husband, as he put it, she was likely going to get a divorce. When I spoke to him today, that story changed to "she's going through a rough patch". Jim is a really honest guy and I don't think he was trying to change the spin (maybe I'm naive but whatever) - sounds like she and her husband have a bit of a volatile relationship and things are better now, even if only slightly, compared to when I met her a couple of weeks ago.
To be honest, I can't really argue with Jim's logic. One thing that has been going through my mind is that I don't want to do anything to hurt Gina or put pressure on her to leave her husband if that's not what she really wants - however, as Jim pointed out, how the hell do I have a conversation like that when we don't speak a common language???
Just wondering whether anyone has any thoughts on where to go from here. All I can come up with at the moment is to keep tabs on Gina through Jim and to try and get an update from him every couple of weeks - if she really does dump the husband for good, maybe I can convince Jim to help me capitalise on the opportunity.
Happy to hear any better ideas though as this is killing me!
About a week before Xmas, I arranged to have dinner with a good mate of mine who is Korean-American (let's call him Jim). His girlfriend (Sally) came along, and she brought a friend of her's (Gina) who was in town from Seoul for a couple of days on vacation. Initially I just thought Gina was kind of cute, but over the course of the evening she really started to grow on me and by the end of the night, I had the full-blown hots for her.
Jim is totally fluent in English whereas his GF Sally is about 60% fluent and her friend Gina is only about 30% fluent. Gina was using a Korean to English phrasebook to communicate with me, which I found kind of charming. Jim also had to do a lot of translating for both of the girls.
At some point during the night, Gina went outside to take a call and I told Jim that I thought she was very cute. Jim told Sally and they had a quick chat in Korean, which I do not speak. All Jim would tell me was that Sally said Gina liked me as well.
We finished up at the restaurant and as Jim is an early riser, after dinner drinks were not going to happen. I was trying to figure out how to make a move on Gina, bearing in mind that she doesn't speak great English, but despite desperately running through some strategies in my head, couldn't figure out a way to do it that wouldn't lead to incomprehension and total embarassment. However, I was saved as Gina asked Jim to ask me in English if the 4 of us could have dinner again before she went back to Seoul. Of course I agreed.
When I got home, before turning in for the night, I texted Jim and basically told him that I was seriously into Gina.
Jim called me the next day after work to say that Gina was married with 2 kids. I asked him why the hell she would indicate interest in me if this was the case, and he said that she was separated from her husband and was seriously thinking of getting a divorce. I got the impression that Jim barely knew Gina (whereas she is very close to his girlfriend Sally) and was actually kind of pissed off to have been told all of this stuff as he seemed to feel like his girlfriend was trying to set me up with a real lemon.
The 4 of us had dinner again later that week, and Gina was a little more stand-offish but still seemed kind of interested. She didn't have her phrasebook with her and communication was a little more difficult. I did manage to convince the 3 of them to have a drink with me after dinner, and used the opportunity to lead into a conversation about how I visit Seoul pretty regularly on business. I had no trips planned as such but told Gina that I would like to see her next time I was in town, which would be before the end of March. She said we could have dinner again in Seoul.
I tried to get Gina's number and/or email address but couldn't get through - either she wasn't willing to go that far (which I know isn't far at all, but with the husband in the picture who knows what was going through her mind) or alternatively she just plain didn't understand.
Without going into every detail, I strongly got the feeling that Jim thought this was a really bad idea, whereas his girlfriend Sally still seemed to be trying to set me and Gina up.
We parted on good terms and I reiterated again that I would see Gina in Seoul.
That was a couple of weeks ago and I have not been able to get Gina out of my mind since.
I confronted Jim today and told him that I wanted his help to see Gina again in Seoul. Jim flat out refused to put me in touch - his explanation was that for Korean cultural reasons, which I don't understand, there is a very strong chance in his view that Gina will ultimately get back together with her husband, and he was just trying to spare me from wasting my time chasing an impossible dream. He also pointed out that we could barely communicate without his help as an interpreter, so how the hell could we communicate without an interpreter.
I was completely frustrated but Jim, who is genuinely a good friend of mine, insisted it was for my own benefit that I just forget Gina and move onto easier targets. One thing is that when he first told me about the husband, as he put it, she was likely going to get a divorce. When I spoke to him today, that story changed to "she's going through a rough patch". Jim is a really honest guy and I don't think he was trying to change the spin (maybe I'm naive but whatever) - sounds like she and her husband have a bit of a volatile relationship and things are better now, even if only slightly, compared to when I met her a couple of weeks ago.
To be honest, I can't really argue with Jim's logic. One thing that has been going through my mind is that I don't want to do anything to hurt Gina or put pressure on her to leave her husband if that's not what she really wants - however, as Jim pointed out, how the hell do I have a conversation like that when we don't speak a common language???
Just wondering whether anyone has any thoughts on where to go from here. All I can come up with at the moment is to keep tabs on Gina through Jim and to try and get an update from him every couple of weeks - if she really does dump the husband for good, maybe I can convince Jim to help me capitalise on the opportunity.
Happy to hear any better ideas though as this is killing me!
I see ZZZ has just responded & has come to his senses.... 
I agree with TC following this thread it looks like he is green. Best mates or so we see it; when women are concerned are not so best mates. Listen his missis about whom he may not be so happy has nattered to her chum fronted you. No doubt given you good press. He hasnt been paying attention as he has been thinning about other bits of skirt. Then when the situation is upon him all of a sudden. His missis,s mate whom he fancies knocking off on the side is after his mate. Go shag her, don't go soppy over it & tell him how you fucked her up the arse. Better to take it up a level than spending your life pondering. How many times have we kicked ourselves when we have not taken up on an opportunity.
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