Adult Sex Toys

[mirimark]

Well we all know Adult Sex toys can be very exspensive. Why pay so much when everything you need for that Ultimate Sex Toy is more than Likely already in your own Home.

For instance, " Anal Beads. "
You can make Anal Beads from Golf Balls and some electrical wire. Make sure the sheilding is still on the wire for you rookies.

There are many types of golf balls out there.
The Titleist No.#3 HVC is the best of the Titleist series to make a string.
Wilson Pro Staff 50 Prototype series is best for Wilsons.
Top Flite XL Distance,
And lastly,
My highest recommendations for Anal Beads made from Golf Balls,
Nike DP-Long.

I called the Nike Engineering team to ask them what DP-Long stood for.
I was guessing; " Deep Penetration Long_Time "
I never did get an answer. They kept hanging up on me. That Nike company has really poor customer service.

[mirimark]

Does anyone have a Sander/Polisher at home ?
Well simply remove the sanding or polihsing pad and WhhaaaaLLLaa !
A sit and spin Dildo Machine.
My particular Polisher has Variable speed control with a Button to Lock the speed into position for a " Hands_Free " device. And you know what they say about driving and operating sex toys. You need a hands free device or you will get a traffic ticket.


Hey honey, I'm going out in the garage to do some polishing. If anyone calls, tell them I'm not home.

[mirimark]

So if your searching your home right now Looking for that perfect
Adult Sex Toy so you don't have to spend  $$ Hundreds of Dollars $$

 IF all else Fails just say FUCK IT !

Put some Nipple Clamps on and Smash your Nuts with a Rubber Mallet.
But please, if you do this wear a Helmet and safety goggles.  Its no fun falling to the floor and splitting your head open on floor after a good Rubber Mallet blow to the Balls.  Believe me, I know.

 I did find a Remedy for the this though.
If you have a bench top vise,  Just stick your cock in the vise and tighten it till your penis turns Purple and when you Smash your balls with the Rubber Mallet and you begin to pass out,  You'll never hit the floor thanks to the vise.

[kahuna]

You are a fucking looney tune

[BAM]

CB radios from the 70's... let me guess? you connect them to the golf balls and transmit on channel 40

Then you change to channel 9 and call the police about a smokie bear in your ass

I'm sure you like to use an 18 foot Shakespeare Big Stick CB antenna!

[allstar88]

i like to f**k a jar of worms

[bigmick22]

Mark, have you seen the movie "Burn after Reading?"

[mirimark]

(bigmick22 @ Oct. 26 2009,01:09) Mark, have you seen the movie "Burn after Reading?"

No I have not. But I will take a quess the movie can be found in the catalog under; " Sarcasm " in my Local Library ?

[kahuna]

When I read your mallet and vise description I fell over laughing...

Reminded me of several scenes in a book entitled God's Other Son
by Don Imus...His character doesn't use a mallet and a vise but
something equally effective.

If you haven't read the book, you might want to pick up a copy.

[PigDogg]

Also in one of Howard Stern's book there's a list of the 20 starngest things emergency room docs have pulled out of people's asses.

I had thought that Mrimark's baseball and other sports cards were the most creative thing I've seen on the Forum.

This far surpasses it. You rock Mirimark!

I don't think it'd be that hard to invent an android that gives head, perhaps your next project?

[bigmick22]

(mirimark @ Oct. 28 2009,11:07)

(bigmick22 @ Oct. 26 2009,01:09) Mark, have you seen the movie "Burn after Reading?"

No I have not.   But I will take a quess the movie can be found in the catalog under; " Sarcasm " in my Local Library ?

you should check it out

George Clooney's character makes a "sex machine" in his basement. I think you would approve

[donnnnnny]

mark the mental case

[BAM]

(PigDogg @ Oct. 28 2009,12:20) Also in one of Howard Stern's book there's a list of the 20 starngest things emergency room docs have pulled out of people's asses.