'Ye Olde' English sayings...

[anthony70]

many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

you dont look at the mantlepiece when you are poking the fire

these old sayings always make me laugh, normally used when caught out with somethiing not so pretty.
are they english, or are they more worldwide.?

[perth_couple]

Platitude?

I reckon Australia has some good ones...

"As busy as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest" (lots of variations)

"(insert location) is full of junkies, drunks and busted up sluts"

"(he/she/they) have/has a head like a dropped pie"

We got a million of them

[Guest]

If ifs, ands and buts were candy nuts it would be Christmas everyday.

Its all over but the crying.

He/she is worthless as tits on a bull.

[bigmick22]

a face like a bag of hammers

[anthony70]

you got more chance of seeing a one legged cat trying to have a shit on a frozen pond.

[Stogie]

It'll end in tears...

Don't make me come back there...

You'll poke your eye out with that if you're not careful... (Actually, that may be a ladyboy saying!)

Elbows of the table...

Last one in's a rotten egg...

If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times...

[Tomcat]

Actually its interesting knowing where a lot of sayings come from

"now youve let the cat out of the bag" has a pretty nasty origin.....
This comes from the old ships where the cat o nine tails was kept in a small bag


" hes on the wagon" ... also has a fairly grim provenance
This came from  the  olde wagon master leading the condemned men from the Tower Of London to Limehouse. to be hung.. halfway the wagon master would nip in that old famous pub and have an ale or two.... the condemned men would have to stay tied up on the wagon and wait.... hence the term

[Stogie]

"now you've let the cat out of the bag" has a pretty nasty origin.....

Funny. I was told that this came from market traders selling sacks of rabbits, pigs or chickens to unsuspecting buyers who got them home only to find out that the weight had been made up with cats.

[abba]

If it smells like fish,
it's a dish.
If it smells like cologne,
leave it alone.

Explanation: The smell of perfume can to a certain extent mask odours that relate to STDs.

[anthony70]

you can lead a horse to water..
but you cant shag him.

[bigmick22]

stepladder

[Guest]

Some Welsh ones...seriously they are used..

i opened the door and there he was....gone.

See those two houses in the valley well the middle one is mine.

If you kill yourself don't come running to me.

and my all time favourite which my Gran used on me.....

Before you leave say bye bye to your grandad because he will be dead and buried the next time you see him....????

[richmond]

Some more Australian contributions with a dedication to my dear departed dad a bush poet who taught me all I know, Hungry! I could eat the crutch out of a dead ferret Thirsty!!!! I would suck a drink through an Afgans cock Dry!! As dry as a limeburners boot. Mean!!!Would not give the time of day!! Would not shout if a shark bit him! Would not give you the steam off his shit !! My favorite expression re meanness comes from an Irish friend . Tight!! He is tight as two coats of paint!! now that is tight People of dubious character are as low as the snakes belly which is not as low as the cats poo but of course lower than shark shit is as low as you can go!!Now I dont know if these contributions are unique to Australia. I am sure if there is a British connection this will be bought to my attention by that little font of all knowledge Rossco when we next verbally joust in May Looking forward to meeting old friends and meeting some new ones in May cheers Richmond(Ross)

[jimslim]

(anthony70 @ Mar. 18 2009,06:33) you can lead a horse to water..
but you cant shag him.

That is incorrect ........

The correct quote is - "You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead "

[seamus]

If ya Aunt had balls she'd be ya uncle