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Rules for my next man - 48 (Burke)
Date: 2009-03-06, 7:38PM EST
1) You have to take charge of your own head. I can provide a willing ear, and some advice, but I am not going to even attempt to fix you.
2) You are in charge of communicating. I will not even attempt to read your mind. I will ask questions and be interested, but if you don€™t talk, I am not responsible for pulling it out of you.
3) You have to communicate to me that you think I am important, that you want to be around me, that you like me. I am not going to assume that if I hear nothing.
4) You have to put some energy into this. I am not going to haul you off your lazy butt. If you want to see me, you will go to some trouble to plan.
5) You will not talk on the phone to someone else when with me. Only exceptions are kids and emergencies, and they had better be few and far between and mostly of the "Can I call you back later?" variety.
6) You must be reasonably mature. You must understand and respect boundaries, such as #1 and 2 above. You must not be abused by the world, because if you are, it shows you are not mature and/or respect boundaries.
7) You must encourage in me things about me that I like.
8) You must be interesting. Competence is sexy.
9) You must be willing to actually say what you are thinking. Managing the news because you don€™t think I can handle the truth is a show stopper. Carefully phrasing your thoughts so as not to set off something in me is probably a show stopper too, unless I have previously set off on that topic.
10) Intentionally setting me off is also a show stopper.
11) I expect you to respect my suggestions. I am not a lawyer and I am not argumentative, and what I say, I feel deeply. You shall not argue just to end up winning. That is a show stopper.
12) I get to put the brakes on anything I€™m not comfortable with. You shall not push me farther. I might give you one warning, but I might not.
13) The brain is the sexiest organ. Use it.
14). I will not support you financially, nor will I help you get a green card.
15) You shall not wake me up in the middle of the night, nor keep me up with noises you make.
16) If you don€™t like the way I look, go find a woman whose looks you do like. Don€™t ask me to change for you. I won€™t.
17) You will be polite. You will say please and thank you.
18) Any jokes you make at my expense are probably show stoppers. A prank that results in embarrassment or pain is definitely a show stopper.
19) If you want sex, you will smell good and you will engage in foreplay (remember: most of it will be via the brain). You will look at me and tell me how much you appreciate having me in your life, with details. You will ask me if I am in a frisky mood, and respect the answer. You will get me goofing around until I€™m pretty excited, before engaging in any organ grinding.
20) Trust is difficult to build and easy to ruin. You will guard your trustworthiness. You will show integrity in all things because it matters to you to have integrity.
21) You will do things with people other than me occasionally. I am not your activities director. Afterwards, you will tell me about them with enthusiasm.
22) You will rarely get drunk, and customarily not drink much, because you like the way you are and you like this world.
23) You can tell when something you did upsets me because you are paying attention to my body language. You will ask what that was about, and you will listen.
24) If you hurt me, or others for that matter, you will apologize. You will say you won€™t do it again, and you won€™t do it again.
25) If we are in a sexual relationship, you will want to preserve the specialness by not having a sexual relationship with anyone else at the same time. (Also, you don€™t wish to be a vector for disease transmission.)
26) You will be polite. You will say please and thank you. This will not end when you get a commitment from me that I will be your woman, because every day you still want me to *want* to be your woman.
27) You will at least attempt to discuss your own feelings, even if you do it badly. You allow me to probe a bit before giving up. You recognize it would be beneficial if you were at least a little in touch with your own motivations and how you react to situations.
28) You will find me entertaining.
29) If you have a problem with anything I say or do, you will discuss it with me.
30) You will not laugh at me, particularly behind my back. Doing so is a show-stopper.
31) You will want to do projects with me.
32) You will identify problems in the relationship and suggest creative win-win solutions, after acknowledging the feelings and actions that are true.
33) You will take good care of your body.
34) You will probably argue with some of these, in an interesting, respectful, and beneficial manner. After that, we€™ll kiss, make up, and go to bed.
Location: Burke
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1063699609
Date: 2009-03-06, 7:38PM EST
1) You have to take charge of your own head. I can provide a willing ear, and some advice, but I am not going to even attempt to fix you.
2) You are in charge of communicating. I will not even attempt to read your mind. I will ask questions and be interested, but if you don€™t talk, I am not responsible for pulling it out of you.
3) You have to communicate to me that you think I am important, that you want to be around me, that you like me. I am not going to assume that if I hear nothing.
4) You have to put some energy into this. I am not going to haul you off your lazy butt. If you want to see me, you will go to some trouble to plan.
5) You will not talk on the phone to someone else when with me. Only exceptions are kids and emergencies, and they had better be few and far between and mostly of the "Can I call you back later?" variety.
6) You must be reasonably mature. You must understand and respect boundaries, such as #1 and 2 above. You must not be abused by the world, because if you are, it shows you are not mature and/or respect boundaries.
7) You must encourage in me things about me that I like.
8) You must be interesting. Competence is sexy.
9) You must be willing to actually say what you are thinking. Managing the news because you don€™t think I can handle the truth is a show stopper. Carefully phrasing your thoughts so as not to set off something in me is probably a show stopper too, unless I have previously set off on that topic.
10) Intentionally setting me off is also a show stopper.
11) I expect you to respect my suggestions. I am not a lawyer and I am not argumentative, and what I say, I feel deeply. You shall not argue just to end up winning. That is a show stopper.
12) I get to put the brakes on anything I€™m not comfortable with. You shall not push me farther. I might give you one warning, but I might not.
13) The brain is the sexiest organ. Use it.
14). I will not support you financially, nor will I help you get a green card.
15) You shall not wake me up in the middle of the night, nor keep me up with noises you make.
16) If you don€™t like the way I look, go find a woman whose looks you do like. Don€™t ask me to change for you. I won€™t.
17) You will be polite. You will say please and thank you.
18) Any jokes you make at my expense are probably show stoppers. A prank that results in embarrassment or pain is definitely a show stopper.
19) If you want sex, you will smell good and you will engage in foreplay (remember: most of it will be via the brain). You will look at me and tell me how much you appreciate having me in your life, with details. You will ask me if I am in a frisky mood, and respect the answer. You will get me goofing around until I€™m pretty excited, before engaging in any organ grinding.
20) Trust is difficult to build and easy to ruin. You will guard your trustworthiness. You will show integrity in all things because it matters to you to have integrity.
21) You will do things with people other than me occasionally. I am not your activities director. Afterwards, you will tell me about them with enthusiasm.
22) You will rarely get drunk, and customarily not drink much, because you like the way you are and you like this world.
23) You can tell when something you did upsets me because you are paying attention to my body language. You will ask what that was about, and you will listen.
24) If you hurt me, or others for that matter, you will apologize. You will say you won€™t do it again, and you won€™t do it again.
25) If we are in a sexual relationship, you will want to preserve the specialness by not having a sexual relationship with anyone else at the same time. (Also, you don€™t wish to be a vector for disease transmission.)
26) You will be polite. You will say please and thank you. This will not end when you get a commitment from me that I will be your woman, because every day you still want me to *want* to be your woman.
27) You will at least attempt to discuss your own feelings, even if you do it badly. You allow me to probe a bit before giving up. You recognize it would be beneficial if you were at least a little in touch with your own motivations and how you react to situations.
28) You will find me entertaining.
29) If you have a problem with anything I say or do, you will discuss it with me.
30) You will not laugh at me, particularly behind my back. Doing so is a show-stopper.
31) You will want to do projects with me.
32) You will identify problems in the relationship and suggest creative win-win solutions, after acknowledging the feelings and actions that are true.
33) You will take good care of your body.
34) You will probably argue with some of these, in an interesting, respectful, and beneficial manner. After that, we€™ll kiss, make up, and go to bed.
Location: Burke
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1063699609
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