Credit Crunch Humour

[katoeylover]

Please add yours:


What's worse than a divorce?

Losing half your money and still having a wife.


What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.



What's the capital of Iceland?

About seven quid.


What's the difference between Tesco and Iceland?
.
Tesco still do cashback!

[newwriter]

These terms have been updated to fit today's times:

CEO - chief embezzlement officer.

CFO - corporate fraud officer.

BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no séx.

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.

BROKER - What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears.....

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to Gód.

BILL GATES - Where Gód goes for a loan.

[newwriter]

Sometimes there's a benefit to working in banking. Emails are quick round the market.

if the reports from Japan are to be believed.

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly-up, and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but remains in the black. Furthermore, five hundred staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

[jimslim]

Tommy Cooper lives ! I like it , bout time we started laughing at the world credit crunch , who needs money when we have laughter

[Rocket J. Squirrel]

(jimslim @ Oct. 14 2008,07:16) who needs money when we have laughter

I do!

[SamplerDoc]

Can we have a laugh and some cash

[Monkey]

(jimslim @ Oct. 13 2008,23:16) I like it , bout time we started laughing at the world credit crunch , who needs money when we have laughter  

I agree, we'll come back home from the food riots with a loaf of bread that we fought from an OAP and chuckle about how nobody has any money.