Even as a Jock, I think we should also remember this special day by celebrating the works of one of England's literary genius's
No, not William Shakespear........I give you one of England's finest and proudest orators........Jeremy Clarkson
(For those of you who don't live in the UK, or don't watch BBC World, you won't have a clue who I am talking about! He is the host of the BBC's motoring program, Top Gear.)
The sayings of Clarkson...
Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom'
On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it begins with "s" and ends with "t" and its not "soot".
Hammond: "So, its fairly terrible then?"
Clarkson:"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible: this is another league of badness!"
"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying "Oh good, I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.""
"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places faster than I do?"
Clarkson on cyclists: 'trespassers in the motorcar's domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run 'em down and prove 'em wrong'
"I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.'
He's wrong. What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet-faced, leaf-eating Nazi"
"We get a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show ... so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!"
On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French Air Force crashing into a firework factory"
In the old days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson: "You can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?"
Hammond: "I had a lot going on: I was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot going on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife, etc. If a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"
"I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time."
On the Porsche Cayenne! "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis."
No, not William Shakespear........I give you one of England's finest and proudest orators........Jeremy Clarkson
(For those of you who don't live in the UK, or don't watch BBC World, you won't have a clue who I am talking about! He is the host of the BBC's motoring program, Top Gear.)
The sayings of Clarkson...
Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom'
On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it begins with "s" and ends with "t" and its not "soot".
Hammond: "So, its fairly terrible then?"
Clarkson:"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible: this is another league of badness!"
"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying "Oh good, I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.""
"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places faster than I do?"
Clarkson on cyclists: 'trespassers in the motorcar's domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run 'em down and prove 'em wrong'
"I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.'
He's wrong. What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet-faced, leaf-eating Nazi"
"We get a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show ... so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!"
On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French Air Force crashing into a firework factory"
In the old days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson: "You can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?"
Hammond: "I had a lot going on: I was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot going on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife, etc. If a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"
"I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time."
On the Porsche Cayenne! "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis."
Comment