Stupidity

[Naang Faa]

Hi guys,

What is the most stupid thing you did in Thailand?
..could apply anywhere really but there is something
about this country that brings the idiot out of many
people..(in the nicest way of course)..
x

[Looker]

Can't recall anything particularly demential but some 2 yrs ago a taxi driver drove me nut.
What was supposed to be the classis easy ride - Turn right, straight for 2 Km and then turn left - ended up in a nightmare and I was really pissed off since had give address in Thai with map and everything.
So, I shouted quite a lot to this young taxi driver who finally looked at me with hatred. I realized that if he was in possess of a knife or TOTALLY enranged with me perhaps something nasty could have happened.
Afterall was just another nightamarish ride with a BKK taxi. No need to go bezerk

[Grinder]

Hmmmm interesting point Nang Faaa.

There are two schools of thought on this incident. At the time, I did what i thought was right, but in retrospect...

I had just enjoyed an evening in various Nana bars and was standing outside the entrance enjoying a Michelin three star Nana Burger, when I felt a hand slip round my waist.

I looked to my right and was greeted by a very attractive ladyboy who had plans for me that didn't involve beer and skittles.

"You go with me?"

"No thanks love."

The next 30 seconds or so played out in a loop, same question, same response. Eventually, I had to take her hand firmly from my waist and tell her that I simply wasn't interested. End of.

Well, she flounced off in a huff and I thought that was that. Unfortunately, I thought wrong.

Minutes later, she reappears with the BIB who, rather sheepishly, tell me I have to accompany them to the police box on the corner of Suk and Nana as the lady says "you punch her in face".

Of course, I don't wish to create as scene - especially with beers on board - so I smile politely and tell the BIB that if that had been the case, why is she unmarked and not lying a pool of her own blood, snot and pity?

No matter. So we troop off to the police box where the plods are clearly unimpressed with the whole situation. It's clear that she is on the make, they know it and I know they know it but TIT.

It's around 2am and they have no intention of making a case out of it. I tell them in Thai what happened - which clearly catches her off guard - and she quickly tells them she is willing to let me go (how gracious my dear!) for the princely sum of Baht500.

Sure I should have paid up, sure it's only Baht500, sure it would have saved me the forthcoming grief (sure that's a lot of sures) but the principal did not sit right with me and I wil not admit guilt where non exists.

The policeman sighs, tells her to leave it and I am free to go. A tad relieved that it has gone no further, I wander along Suk before aiming to cut up to DIG. However, a beer seems in order so I sit down at one of the temporary beer bars and enjoy a cool Heineken... at least for around a minute.

The next thing I am aware of is the mother of all headaches and the sound of Big Ben behind my eyes as the ground rushes up to meet me. I manage to stop my face hitting the pavement with my right hand before all hell breaks loose around me.

The other customers are on their feet, a Thai guy tries to grab the coward who hit me from behind and the last thing I hear is the click-click-click of stilletoes sprinting into the night before my head is covered in an icy towel to stem the blood. I may not have seen it coming (just as well) but i can tell you that having a bottle of beer smashed over the back of your skull is nothing like it appears in the westerns.

So by saving myself a measly Baht 500, I've almost been maimed for life - imagine if the bottle had been swung at the side of my head - and been left with a dent in my skull that is still there eight months later. In retrospect, I should have paid the Bt500, saved her face and walked home in peace.

Then again, I wouldn't have woken up the next day with the gg owner of the beer bar beside me.

Sympathy shags are wonderful things.

[stogie bear]

Wow! Brilliant story and a good idea for a thread too!

[Grinder]

Cheers Stogie - all true (even the GG taking me home... only in Thailand)

Loved checking out at DIG when the receptionist casually said I would be charged extra for 'destroying' the pillow cases. The bloody head made a lovely mess during the sympathy shag and cost me a whopping baht 100...

[Naang Faa]

Personally i could fill ten pages of mishaps and embarrassing Naag Faa moments..
but i will stick to the one the still haunts me...

October 23rd 2005,Chulalongkorn Day.
I am doing a little late night shopping alone at the local market,basking
in the glory of an incident free day,when one of the girls,Tao, pulls up in her
car and asks if i want to go to the Rama V statue and pay respect for the King..
OK,what could possibly go wrong?..
So there we were we were knelt down at the crash barriers surrounding the
statue lighting candles.
I was having a little difficulty getting mine to stick to the railings,so i angled the
candle so i could drip some wax and place it that,i got distracted by Tao's prayer
and accidently set fire to a piece of paper which was stuck on the barrier...
I tried to blow it out...wasn't happening!
To my horror,there was a picture of Rama V just to the left of it...
so i jumped up and tried to put the flame out with my foot...
Result! the little fire was out,but about 10ft of the crash barrier went down with an
almighty clang!..I just stood there,both hands over my mouth,frozen in shock
I though i was going to get lynched...i just turned to the crowd gave a polite wai
and left as quick as i could...Tao couldn't drive further than Dusit zoo,she was laughing
too much..but i still can't see the funny side of it..
x

[Grinder]

[jimslim]

Drinking a magic mushroom shake at the full moon party in Koh Pha Ngan , falling in the sea and losing my shoes ,
Still a great night though

[stogie bear]

Got very, very drunk and lost my swipe card to my apartment complex. Decided that instead of waiting for someone to come along and open the door I'd kick it in...

Did a lot of damage and was caught doing it on CCTV!

Police, arbitration, costs, booted out of the place... it was an unpleasant time!

This happened many years ago when I first came here. Those days are behind me now!

[jimslim]

Naang Faa , why did you start this ? do you not know stupid is my middle name  

Well my first ladyboy experience in Koh Samui a few years ago would certainly be classed as silly .
This was at a half moon party at the lake in Chaweng .
I recall the scene rather too vividly ......
3 am , 3 sheets to the wind , dancing like a tit .....next thing i know Im doing the Lambada with a rather tall ladyboy who is at least a foot taller than me in her heels (one of my mates actually has a photo somewhere   )
Next thing I know Ive been physically lifted and placed on the back of her bike and kidnapped .
Off we ride into the sunset/sunrise and being somewhat financially embarrassed we agree on a bottle of Thai whisky and a tank of petrol as payment for our forthcoming night of passion .
We drive for ages to the middle of God knows where , before ending up at a tin hut in the arsehole of nowhere where Im chased by a rabid dog and end up falling down a little hill , to come  back covered in dust and dirt .
My memory of that night in the tin hut of passion are a little sketchy , I do recall I spent most of the evening being tossed around her bed like a wet sock on a washing line , I also experienced the most amazing oral pleasure ........

As I recall her beauty was not what it seemed in the morning light , as she dropped me home on her motorbike and insisted on one last embrace outside my hotel , I briefly glanced down at a pair of massive feet attached to somewhat too hairy legs ......

I bid her farewell and strolled into reception somewhat battered and bruised and my clothes covered in dust and dirt , much to the bemusement of the early morning holiday makers heading to the beach  

[statuesque]

My ex-bf and I were having a nice dinner at Baan Rim Paa with his two adorable kids and we ordered red wine to go with the food. What he thought was just a bottle of 1,250baht ended up being 12,500baht instead because he overlooked the last digit (plus the lighting was quite bad too) !!!  

My heart just went out to him that night I fixed a "very nice surprise" for him when we got back to our hotel    


S

[stogie bear]

(Naang Faa @ Feb. 09 2008,19:38) October 23rd 2005, Chulalongkorn Day...

That's hilarious! (You even remembered the date!)

[gizmo]

(stogie bear @ Feb. 09 2008,15:59) Got very, very drunk and lost my swipe card to my apartment complex. Decided that instead of waiting for someone to come along and open the door I'd kick it in...

Did a lot of damage and was caught doing it on CCTV!

Police, arbitration, costs, booted out of the place... it was an unpleasant time!

This happened many years ago when I first came here. Those days are behind me now!  

So you were the one at the Guess bar door!!!

[aust1973]

In first two weeks argued with the Thai staff at one of the upstairs bars in Patpong over a measly sum of about 200 THB. Fortunatly was part of a large group of Aussies who had all moved to Thailand at the same time but looking back we where lucky to get out without a kicking

[Dieter]

Gizmo me just thought the same.....!!!