Dowry to marry a Thai GG

[Guest]

I know this isn't a forum about GGs, but I respect the overall knowledge of Thailand that many of you here possess, so thought I'd see what kind of feedback I can get on this topic.
Ok, now for some more specific details. My friend from here in my hometown, went to Thailand and met a GG that he fell in love with and wants to marry. She is 35, the oldest child among 6 siblings. No kids, never married. Her parents live up north somewhere.  He'd heard that in Thailand one is expected to pay a dowry to a woman's parents before marrying her, so he asked her how much that would be? She asked her parents and then a few days later told him her parents wanted a dowry of 400,000 baht.

This seems quite high to me from what I've heard. Does anyone know of a circumstance where this amt would be reasonable? Does the family's financial status also play a role in how much dowry they want for their daughter?  
What are the key determining factors in dowry amounts?

I told my friend this seemed way too high to me, unless the family was rich and the daughter was 18-20 years old and drop dead gorgeous. Good or bad comment on my part? Wouldn't rich families always generally want more dowry for their daughters?
Also is two-tierd pricing the absolute rule? In that they will always want more dowry if the husband to be is a farang?

Any advice or suggestions I can pass along about dowrys?

My friend has asked several diverse sources already and seems to be more confused by the whole thing with each passing day.

I kindly ask you learned gentlemen of the forum who have a good deal of general knowledge about Thailand for your assistance.

[Guest]

It is a very complex issue.  

A lot depends on her education, what she brings into the family coffers, her virginity, how gullable the suitor is(they automatically expect foreigners want to give away their money).

The best idea is to get her up the duff, so she can't claim for viginity and then the family will give her away for a very nominal fee cause they don't want to pay for the kid  

In some of the more modern families they often give it back to the couple after marrying. But as he is a farang don't count on it  

PM with full details of her education, what she does for a job, where she comes from, what her parents do, etc.etc. and I will give you a more reasonable valuation.

Off hand I would say given the area shes from they are asking between 300.000 and 350,00 too much. If she has worked in the entertainment industry you can wipe another 30-40 thousand off that for a start.

best idea is to tell him to find one who is not the oldest daughter as they often get lumbered with looking after mum and dad  

I am sure if you go to a site lick stickman.com you will find a lot of threads on this.

[Guest]

Remind him that thai women chop off more penises as a cure to infidelity than any other race on earth

[Guest]

A big family will mean a lot of support down the track. I would also be thinking about how he will support himself and his new wife as well as other family members.

Winston is correct that most Thai families when they give a dowry it is returned, however some will not and there is nothing to say they have too.

As an alternative to cash dowry I know some foreigners will buy land for their future wife which acts as a dowry but at least it can't be gambled or given away to relatives.

I really think he needs to spend more time getting to know Thai culture and understanding the pitfalls and advantages. The best way I have found is to talk to guys who live in Thailand and have Thai wives. I have heard some really funny stories with both sad and happy endings.

The worst story was from a guy on the plane back from Thailand who was getting pissed and throwing food at the Thai passengers calling them cheats, sluts, fuckwits, etc etc.

When he finally passed out with exhaustion and woke up I had a chat with him and he told me he had supported a lady for a few years and then decided to marry her. He gave gold and cash and paid for the wedding but was surprised when he got to the wedding because there were so many people he had never met before. Later after the nupitals a Thai guy walked up to him and thank him for paying for his wedding and now it was time for him to leave or they would shoot him. So he paid for his future wife to marry another Thai at his own wedding.

Now, thats when you lose face big time!

Needless to say I gave him my tray of food for another round of food throwing..................

[stogie bear]

How long is a piece of string? The family will want you to pay until it hurts. You will want to pay the bare minimum.

Offer to marry her in the country where you come from and explain that it is tradition for the father to pay for everything!

These days the dowry is more of a tradition and is usually given back after the wedding ceremony.

By the way - is this a real wedding or a traditional wedding? (In other words is it recognised as legal - traditional weddings are NOT legal!

If she is 35 years old and unmarried then there is NO dowry. And I find the idea of her being 35, unmarried and marrying a farang HIGHLY suspect!

Something I wrote a while back...

Required reading for people falling in love in the LOS!

[Mai-Kee]

Hahahaha.....geeeeez.....way to high, dude!!! Winston is completely right with everything and I'd say about 50.000 for a girl from Nakhon Wherever would be considered as ok! But as they are coming up with such an amount, my advise would be to flee from the scene as long as he's still able to!!!


MK

[SamplerDoc]

Well Not knowing that culture all to well at all , I can at least offer this advice from being a Grad of StreetSmarts......Run Away is right! Something is very wrong and the shit will hit the fan, when it does this guy wants to be far far away.

[Guest]

I went to Phrae (near ChiangMai in the north) looking for a nice countryside LB's. Didn't find one, but was introduced to a virgin and stayed around to see what would happen. After 7 days of spin and bullshit I was told 1,000,000 baht would secure the virgin of my dreams. What happened..............

I fled the scene on the next bus back to ChinagMai.

For your friend Lefty tell him same same but different.

[dummy_plug]

Stickman has tons of articles on 'sin soht', the Thai term used to describe the payment of a dowry. Don't ask me why I read some of those threads, but I think the main factors of sin soht are 1) the family's background, 2) the girl herself (i.e. her education, beauty, liklihood to find other suitors, etc...), and 3) her virginity. Your social status in theory, should have negligible impact on the amount of dowry paid. Of course as a farang expect to be high-balled and be prepared to negotiate. To figure out a fair amount is an art, not a science!

If I recall correctly, I think that most guys marrying girls from the North (i.e. from poorer families) were all talking about sums less than 100,000 baht. At 35 the chances of marrying off to a Thai is almost zero so I would think most guys would think that maybe they need to pay your friend!