Goddamn tool store!

[post-op lover]

The other day, I was wandering through the tool store. I don't like tools (unlike weirdos like Smuttley, who always talks about shoving big tools up his butt), but I thought I'd see what the fuss was about. Maybe there would be pics of the girls without their tools. There were some nice calendars.

As I started to get lost in my reveries, I paused in some aisle. Just staring absentmindedly, I was interrupted by a sales clerk. She asked if I was looking for Cock-be-gone. I blinked, asked "What?!" (can you imagine, the uses?!). She asked if I was looking for Cock-be-gone. Apparently it could be used to remove cocks, especially unsightly bits.

I thought, holy crap, this is the thing to save ATS! I can just dab a little on the pictures, and, voila, instant improvements to Talisha, Rita, Ex, and whoever else I've never bothered to look at. They seem to be the names of Smuttley's favorite flagpoles...

Anyway, I bought a case, cuz I'm sure that there's more than a few nasty little bits of cock to be removed.

I put it on my computer screen. And...

It ate the fucking screen!!!

Well, the cocks are gone, but so is Roy G. Biv! Goddamnit.

Beware of this product if some hottie is ever trying to sell you cock-be-gone. And be sure she doesn't have a Nebraska accent. I'm sure that's why I misunderstood her. Or the overactive little head.

[post-op lover]

A follow-up: I think this needs to be applied to the models. Stogie, can I ship a case to the photographers? They just need to put it on the models 5 minutes before taking pics. It's "Fast Acting".

[post-op lover]

Oh, and apparently you are supposed to keep it away from LBs named Eye. Apparently they get irritated.