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low carps, panda porn and snow machines

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  • low carps, panda porn and snow machines

    Thailand puts panda on low-carb sex diet Sun Jan 14, 1:07 AM ET



    BANGKOK (AFP) - A male panda in Thailand has been put on a low-carb diet because he is too heavy to mate with his partner, his caretakers have said.

    Chuang Chuang weighs 150 kilos (330 pounds), while his partner Lin Hui is a lithe 115 kilos (253 pounds), said Kannika Nimtragol, a veterinarian at the Chiang Mai zoo in northern Thailand.

    "We think Chuang Chuang should not weigh over 140 kilogrammes. Otherwise Lin Hui will carry too much weight while mating," she told AFP.

    To help Chuang Chuang slim down, zookeepers are feeding him fewer bread loaves and more bamboo branches to cut back on the amount of carbohydrate he consumes, she added.

    The diet program is under the careful supervision of Chinese panda experts. Six-year-old Chuang Chuang and his five-year-old partner Lin Hui arrived at the zoo in 2003 on a 10-year loan from China.

    Giant pandas, notorious for their low sex drive, are among the world's most endangered animals.

    Cutting out carbs is only the latest tactic used by the zoo in the hope of giving Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui a more loving feeling.

    The two have been separated since December, in the hope absence will make their hearts grow fonder, Kannika said.

    A plan to show them "panda porn" videos to coach them in mating techniques has been put on hold after research indicated that not all pandas learn from such videos.

    Chiang Mai held an elaborate, traditional Chinese wedding for the couple in 2005 in the hope of encouraging them to procreate, and is considering bringing in a snow machine to help recreate a mountainous habitat.

    But with the annual panda mating season due to begin within weeks, the zoo is preparing to try artificial insemination if the natural method does not work, Kannika said.
    "It's not Gay if you beat them up afterwards."  --- Anon

  • #2
    I'll never understand why so much human effort and resources are spent trying to extend the lives of these ugly creatures. They aren't even meeting us half way and at least showing willing to get laid. Fuck them and all the stupid animals who can't be arsed to perpetuate the line.

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    • #3
      It was much funnier last night when I was drunk...
      "It's not Gay if you beat them up afterwards."  --- Anon

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      • #4
        Have they tried Viagra?

        I'm being serious.

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        • #5
          Just think of the pressure he's under now. How would you like it if some tosspot of journalist published in a  newpaper that you couldn't get it up.

          And just wait it gets round the zoo, all the other animals will be taunting him, the rabbits will be chanting "easy easy easy" and the grizlies are shouting"go-on rambo let a real bear in there!"
          Too old to die young!

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