Are you cynical yet?

[Guest]

I suppose this could be a fish box or academic post but there are so many forums to follow here these days and I don't have the time so I just place everything in here! Hope the Admin doesn't mind.

anyway.........

you guys who are long-time travellers to the land of ladyboys and especially you guys who live there, have you become a bit cynical over the years? Guys like Gunslinger and Snick and Stogie, Ozzie, Tomcat and now Monkeyman, etc..... do you find yourself getting a bit leary and tired of the scene which we all follow?

Just based on 2 days worth of posting from me you can clearly see it from meself..... part of the reason Stogie tells me to stay away from his masterpiece here! I come here and joke around for a while and it's all good and I would never want to discourage anyone like the new Aussie guy who wants to go over and meet dozens of ladyboys, so I either stay away or keep my real thoughts about LB's and the 'scene' to myself.

But seriously, how do you guys feel?

Still 'into' it as much as you were 2 or 3 or 6 years ago? Still butterflying and shit, trying to score as many of these beauties as possible? Still having as much fun [obviously, or you wouldn't keep going back]? Any desire to rekindle 'straight' relationships with poo-yings? Are you tired of the lies, the yabaa, the games, the weird government regs, the lies, and other assorted shit? I'd like to see Billy69's answers!

I love Thailand, it's a great place..... and so cheap! Nice weather also...... the scene I was so enamored by back in 1998 and 1999 I could maybe do without now, but for all intents and purposes that place is still the best country on earth and very fun to travel in.

[Snick]

I'm still having fun, but I need to get a real non-bar girl friend. Too much of the bars is trouble.

Luckily I was always cynical, so I can't say 2 years has made me more cynical.

Thailand has its corruption, stupid rules and a complete lack of planning. But then I could say the same about the USA or any other country !

[69billy]

Much as I love the LBs,,,,I don't think I can live there...To me there isn't a such a thing "Can't get enough off a good thing"
And I don't think I'll enjoy it thet much if I have to do it day in day out..At the moment , as you know,I go too LOS 3 times a year..and when I'm there I just love it .. and gives me some thing to look forward to
BUT if I have too live there I think I'll lose the excitement and the thrill off it...
BUT then again if you are not a butterfly Like some of us, it will be different...

[Guest]

I wouldnt consider myself cynical yet , , but i feel i get wiser and wiser everyday on the subject of ladyboys .

I am very lucky i have a great ladyboy who takes fantastic care of me , she is probably my best friend in thailand .

[Ladyboy_Loser!]

Leary at first, made all the classic mistakes of a "newbie" fell in love with the country on my first visit. It just felt like I had found the place that I wanted to call my home when it came time to sell my home and get out of Dodge. Butterflied like there was no tomorrow for a few years then met the first LB "Superstar" and it was a classic case of me not knowing what the fuck I was doing or getting myself into. Learned from my mistakes for a few years then I did the same stupid shit again. At this point I thought that I was just a hopeless case and that it would be better for me to just spend my time in Thailand as a "buttefly." Then I met "her" this time I vowed to get it right because there was something different going on. I took my time, got to know her, spent a lot time together with her I mean by that 24/7 every holiday and soon those holidays were coming every three months. She never let me down and when I told her that I wanted to get serious with her our relationship moved to a new level. I got her out of the bar scene, out of bangkok and back to her parents home. She is well taken care of and I am happy to do this. I always know that just screwing my brains out was going to get old and tiresome. I wanted to find that "someone special" and with patience I did just that.
Summing up, yeah I was very cynical after my initial mistakes. Regrets about deciding that Thailand was where I wanted to be, not any more. The more I spend time in the countryside and away from Bangkok and all that shit the more relaxed I am. I am looking forward to this new and maybe final chapter in my life. With my "sweetie" by my side I am happy and for me now cynicism is just a word in dictionary.

[katoeylover]

On the plane home last trip I actually counted the Thai stamps in my passport, 12 trips since 2001, and I am still intrigued, not just with the ladyboys but also by the city of Bangkok and the country of Thailand.

In actual fact I have an offer to go and live there full time with a pretty decent job and it is very tempting!

However as Snick says I think you would have to have a non-working girlfriend and only visit the bars when friends are in town or you would get pretty jaded very quiickly.

Cynical, of course, but I think you have to be otherwise you just get caught up in all the bullshit that surrounds the scene.

[stogie bear]

My role here has changed a lot over the last few years and I'm a bit more involved with the site than I was in the past.

This is gonna sound like supreme arrogance, but I feel as though I have come to the end of the road of my learning curve. I can read between the lines in posts and disseminate the real motives behind posts and the cause of many of the problems (and joys) that are shared.

Although I can't compete on a numbers scale, I have had a good share of genuine ladyboy girlfriends, lovers and knee tremblers in the last 4 years.

When you add this to the fact that there is rarely a genuinely new or interesting thread posted by anyone anymore then you are bound to be cynical.

This manifests itself in several ways and most of them are bad and I do try to be aware of this! I'm less patiient with new people who join the forum. What, in the past, would get a lengthy reply or a useful link probably now gets ignored.

I'm quicker off the mark to delete, remove or edit posts that I was in the past, too.

Posts that use ALL CAPS (Donny!) or have useless titles like "help needed" will get deleted or the content edited completey out of it!

People who quote other posts which includes a huge reply of all the photos that have already been posted will get edited out. (Randyman!)

Lazy posters who insist on asking for information that is readily available will get either deleted or a curt non-informative answer.

New posters who post rubbish about how they get it for free because they are young or fall in love with hookers will get terrorised online by me too. These kids need a slap NOT a friendly forum to share their rubbish!

I'm less inclined to meet new people from the site these days too. That's a shame because I owe ALL my friendships and many great experiences to members of the forum. But I've never made a secret of the fact that I hate the bars and feel very uncomfortable in them.

I'd much rather meet for dinner or round someone's house. (At 46 I just can't consume that much anymore, anyway!)

Lastly - the biggest difference for me is the money thing. When I first came to Thailand I had none and couldn't afford tourist beer bars and it really mad me sick to my stomach on the bus home that I'd spend 20 bucks on a couple of beers. Many people were very kind to me and I got to eat at some nice places and drink some pricy beer on their dime. (You know who you are.)

Now that I have created a comfort zone around me in Thailand I hate to have it broken by the long trip into town so I stick mostly with people I already know and that won't surprise me with odd behaviour!

Yep - I know this makes me sound like a big misery guts, but the bloke did ask!

In a nutshell - YES, I'm a cynical bastard!

[SamplerDoc]

SB,
I have not much to say about the above post, except...It was well written, from the heart, well thought out, and in only one visit...I can understand what you say from both the visit and this board.

Thanks

[Guest]

I guess in many ways I am more cynical about the scene than I was before.

I have spent 99% of my time in Thailand butterflying around and seen and heard a lot.

Now that I can speak a bit of Thai I do over hear the girls and some of the things they say and it can actually be quite suprising. Believe it or not I have heard some really nice things and some really nasty things said.

I tried the "stay with one girl" thing and it did not work out for me, mainly my fault. The funny thing is there are 2-3 girls that I actually do like quite a bit but it looks like I am destined to continue the butterflying path. Strange I suppose because I was married for 7 years and with my wife for 10 and never cheated on her.

I go through phases where I become jaded and then all of a sudden I get my second wind and all is forgiven and I am ready for another round.

I suppose if I lived there having a real relationship with a ladyboy would be a much easier. I have though about moving many times in fact I am seriously considering as we speak.

I have never been with a girl in Thailand although I have been tempted a few times. I still like GG's but I always seem to stay with the ladyboys whilst there.

I guess it depends on your expectations as to whether you become cynical about it all. Treat it as a play ground, where you go on holiday and have a good time and forget about it once you leave and I think you will last longer.

[dummy_plug]

I've been to Thailand 3 times and I'm already jaded. The bargirls, the shitpits, and the whole tourist scene in general just made me sick. As I wrote in my trip reports, there were a few times on my first and second trip that I contemplated packing up and going home. I'm not an overly sensitive guy - but I like to have my fun and if I'm not having a good time, then its probably not worth doing. I guess if I turned off my brain and was just going for a few nights of sex, sex, and more sex - then it might be ok. However, I do like to spend my time meeting new people, making friends, and exploring new things...and bar girls are pretty much the wrong group of people to do that with. I guess I got tired of being hit up for cash, spun onto drugs, lied to, insulted by, lied to some more, and dealing with irate ladyboys. Those of you who have been to Nana and want to claim you don't know what I'm talking about need to do a reality check.

I thought to myself, there's got to be a better way to do this. And there is. On my last trip I met several non-working LBs who were well-educated, middle/upper class, intelligent, well-spoken, beautiful, and kind-hearted. The comparison to their Nana bargirl brethern was like a night and day difference. Additionally, I managed to spend more time outside of MBK and other touristy areas and found that Thais as a whole are nice people and the ones that you find outside the farang-oriented zones exude a genuine sense of charm and kindess. Needless to say, my third trip was probably my best.

In fact, I'm seriously considering of moving over for a few months. It wouldn't be a permanent move, but I think it would just be a great life experience to do while I still have the chance. I can honestly say events on my 3rd trip have motivated me to do this. It's definately not the sex with extremely hot ladyboys, although I guess that is a factor.

[PigDogg]

Never lived in the LOS and not the vet that some of u are so maybe that's why I'm not jaded.  Or maybe it's cause i stay out of trouble and haven't yet been taken advantage of.

Might also be that after getting the butterflying out of my system in my first few trips , i've been spending time with ladyboys who are level headed and not druggies...........not that drugs per se are bad, I've done enough in my younger days, but drugs tend to bring out the worst in hookers.

Of the four Thai ladyboys I've spent significant time with none of them worked in a ladyboy bar although they all worked in girl bars but they might all be out of the bars now, not sure.  Ladyboys that work in girl bars are more low key, not drama queens.  These four are all pretty nice people and seem remarkable non-fucked up from hooking.

Sure, they go with me cause i have the baht. so what?  i go with them cause they're young and sexy.

I'd like to move to Thailand in the next few years, thought it would be in 07 but now it looks more like 09.

And i'm willing to try to make a relationship work with the right ladyboy.  I certainly don't feel morally supeior to them just cause they've hooked.  But it does mean that I should be more cautious.

On my first few trips, i butterflyed to the max cause I felt smothered after a series of relationships with western women.   But being alone for too long can make me lonely and so i remain open to the idea that love can exist between a farang with the bucks and a ladyboy or girl with the youthful radiance.

   

[Guest]

(stogie bear @ Sep. 19 2006,05:10) ...Now that I have created a comfort zone around me in Thailand I hate to have it broken by the long trip into town so I stick mostly with people I already know and that won't surprise me with odd behaviour!

In a nutshell - YES, I'm a cynical bastard!  

No, you're not, Mr. Bear.

You're just, like most of us, getting older. I tend to think of that as a good thing, a rank in life well and truly earned, although I know not everyone feels that way.

Ever hear the story about some reporter who, after much heming and hawing, asked Mae West how old she was? "I'm sixty two years old, baby," she growled. "And I've earned every fucking one of them."

Amen to that. Baby.

[stogie bear]

Getting old eh? Well, thanks, mate. All of a sudden I feel a lot better!

Yes, point taken and that's certainly a factor. I think KatoeyLover knows me pretty well as we have stayed with each other in our country and over here on a couple of occasions. It's not a mood thing. My moods never change too much. It's an attitude thing!

I'm at that stage in my life when I haven't quite got used to the fact that not everyone sees my opinion as important or right!

Now that I'm right all the time no-one listens!

When I was young, I didn't know shit and I WAS unimportant and wrong! In the future when I'm older I won't care about being ignored or even noticed! It's just a stage of living.

[Mai-Kee]

I'm getting jaded about the hookers more and more! Was never a big fan of those lousy bars, but it's becoming less and less interesting for me! I can only recommend to anybody who hasn't been anywhere than between Nana and Pattaya, to make a trip through the country, to little remote Issaan villages, or north to Lampoon, Lamphang, Mae Hong Song. The chances to find the "real thing" there is much higher than in any of those shitty places!
... yeah... and what's "the real thing"? For me something young, fresh, unspoiled, maybe even with a "relationship potential"!

.... can't believe I'm writing this....  

MK

[donnnnnny]

Christ where do i begin?I have been hitting the bar sceen for some 24years  now in thailand and the philipines. stopped going to the pI  way back in 1987 just cant stand them sorry, i find them so over bearing and loud.AS some of you descoverd on recent trips.

Thailand is a place  for fantasy.I have travelled all over this country and had some fantastic times, one of my best time was a 3 week tour around issan in a hired car visiting many big north east towns such as korat  etc.These places are far more friendly and fun than bangkok and pattaya  as they are off the beaten track  and the locals are less affected by fuck wit tourists, yelling and screaming abuse like in pattaya and phuket.
Cynical of course.i have had some low trips to the LOS and some high trips. and the funny thing is if you get a stiffy in a bar you are in a good mood.and less cynical. My last trip in may was one of my best, for fun and good sex, and the only trip   where i have had no real girls  to fuck.
My latest trip was also a delite staying with mint for 2 weerks.That can all come falling down if one missunderstanding gets out of hand.
i though it would be a mistake but it  turned out  brilliant.no regrets.
AS for all the trouble and lies etc  so many of you seem to experiance.i just dont get it(trouble)I dont tell girls what they want to hear i tell em what i want.if a girl in a bar asks me to come back and bar fine her i will say "no" or bar fine her there and then.This kind of stuff inevitably causes you grief in the long run and should be avoided. Always better to  have a none bar girl gf if thats what you want, if you have a gf  you will have to cut out the butterflying.
me  cynical?? not anywhere near as much as i used to be, maybe  that will all change on my next trip.
GO WITH THE FLOW
DONNNNNNY