Thai Brides...

[stogie bear]

Perils fail to deter Thai bride boom!

I'm not sure if this should be in The Fish Box as it's not really 'ladyboy related' but it may still touch a nerve with some of our readers...

I don't live in the UK anymore and haven't since 1987, so I'm pretty out of touch now with what people think, etc.

What struck me about the article (linked above) was the comment that Thai Brides were ridiculed or frowned on...

Never mind that the Thai "mail-order bride" has become a subject of ridicule in the UK, parodied in TV comedies like Little Britain and mocked in the tabloid press;

 Is this true? If so - it's somewhat of an irony to me that a nation where the institution of marriage has clearly failed is now mocking the efforts of men who want it to work!

I spent a few weeks in the UK recently and it's not just the disfigured ugliness of British girls that are unappealling. It's also the dreadful masculine way that they live their lives by. There is nothing feminine or attractive about these people. Nothing to encourage me to get to know them!

If men are looking outside their own country for marriage partners then the real joke is on the pool of talent at home, right?  

Stogie

[Guest]

Why bother these girls who wanted to get married and have a nice life??

Hmm, me thinks that home grown girls fear free trade and competition.......

[Road Runner]

Hello Stogie,

Yes it's true that Thai and also Filipina brides are the subject of ridicule in the media in the UK.

As usual I suspect it's the ill informed or mis-informed that are the worst culprits - yes I am refering to the great British press! I believe that comedy programs follow the press to get laughs.

I largely agree with what you say about British women - the majority now seem to be hell bent on making themselves as unattractive as possible. I think they then try to riducle the opposition because they know they can't beat them.

I for one am not fooled!

RR.

[dummy_plug]

Perhaps its the certain type of men that look for these Thai (and overseas) brides. Maybe I'm speaking out of my ass on this one, but the only people that I know from my limited knowledge of this area, who have wives that they met overseas fall in generally two categories: 1) military personnel or 2) older men 40+ that typically do not have prospects at home. Once again, just my personal observation.

Perhaps the men that fall in category 1 fall under less scrutiny, as they are usually in decent shape, close in age to their wives, and probably could have found a willing girl back home.

The men in category 2, and this is just a generalization based on the ones I've seen, are typically not in shape, significantly older than the brides they choose, perhaps not as career-oriented on average, and would not be likely to find a woman in their home country with the specs (i.e. looks, figure, age, etc...) to match their foreign bride. If this is true, it opens up to viewers of the relationship that there is perhaps a singular reason this relationship even exists.

I don't find it surprising, that for better or worse, the media and society frowns upon the men who seek out brides in developing countries such as Thailand, Vietnam, or the Phillipines. I think there is an ugly truth behind the humour.

[Randyman]

you may want to edit that mess before I finish cleaning some stripers. Because I'm coming in for a landing on your ass soon...you ignorant juvenile deliquent

Randyman (I bet he ain't more than 25-27)

(we need a raspberry smiley)

[Guest]

way off dp. i married an asian girl. no shes not 10 years younger then me and no i was not in the army. i was 31 at the time and a bodybuilder/martial artist. so i was in excellent shape. nor did i have any disfiguring looks about me. my wife was only 1 year younger then me also.

i was completely disgusted by the way american women act. the way most move and treat their mates. most to me seem like men traped in womens bodies. i love asian women in their looks and the way they treat men. something that western women seem to have forgotten how to do.

[stogie bear]

This just my opinion but surely a bloke in his 30s or 40s or older would be crazy NOT to look for a beautiful Asian girl (or ladyboy even) to shack up with.

If you are really looking for an attractive, loyal, sexy and long-term partner the options back where I come from are severely limited. Asian girls seem to actually enjoy being feminine and taking care of their appearance. More to the point they are dutiful and enthusiastic partners and wives, too.

It seems like DP (and others?) has a moral equation to deal with if he really thinks there is an "ugly truth behind the humour."

If I'm with my 20 year old girlfriend here in Thailand, the only looks we get are aimed at her and her beauty. All are approving. There isn't an issue of her being younger. Nobody feels the urge to say something inane like "But, what do you have in common!"

This definitely would NOT be the case back in the UK.

[dummy_plug]

Perhaps I need to clarify a bit more, as I think my post is being misread and misinterpreted. A few points:

1. What I've stated does not represent true fact - it only represents what I have personally seen, as in people that I know of personally who have married a woman from a developing country (key word, developing country, I'm not talking about say my friends who have married Japanese or European women). It's a handful of people, less than 15, but the common denominator is that they all fit in the categories 1 and 2 I describe. Its a personal opinion and I've made several references to it being just that, so please don't think what I'm saying is ignorant or stupid just because you don't agree with it or you have a different train of thought.

2. I've stated that I myself have met someone during my last journey who I spent the entire time with - hence my absence in Nana and the many hearts left broken there. I obviously am not in the military, nor am I 40+, so I am contradictory to the profile of man I have originally posted. You'll have to wait for my trip report to get started/completed to know the full details, but I fully have found someone that I could love.

3. I can't speak for the UK, but what I do know is that there are plenty of attractive women in the USA. I don't know why people like to perpetuate the myth that there are no good-looking Western women. The one fact I will state in this forum is that no matter who you are, you have a better chance talking to a Thai woman of equal beauty than a Western woman. This is a no-brainer and I'm sure that everyone who has been to Thailand can vouch for this. Does anyone ever wonder why? Not all Western women are unfeminine, disloyal, and fat. Conversely, not all Thai women are beautiful, loyal, and good care-takers. If you believe this, then your head is in the clouds! Lets not forget that divorce, cheating, and heart-break occurs in farang-Thai relationships too, just as they do in farang-farang and Thai-Thai relationships.

4. Regarding the age differential, to which I mentioned men in ages of 40+ (so if you're 39 and under you're ok!) as a general blanket. I don't think a man who is 45 dating a woman of 35 would draw attention. But don't tell me that the same man walking into a room with a 20 yr. old in tow would not raise some eyebrows. I've seen it happen - everyone's smiling, but its easy to see what people are thinking. Is the same chance of this man dating someone in his home country of the same physical appearance and age likely? I highly doubt it, so forgive me for being a skeptic, but I think ther's something else at play here.

I really don't expect all Western-Thai relationships to fit this mold from my original post, but I don't think the media is too far from the truth when it reports cases of older-Western men marrying young Thai brides whose physique rarely equal those of their male companion. No one keeps track of such ridiculous statistics, so the only way you can judge is by anecdotal evidence. No doubt some of you will come to a different conclusion.....

[Guest]

When you have lived in Thailand for a while you realise that the age thing is western hangup (even that is changing in the west). Many thai women like men their own age, to many more it is not even a consideration.

Looking smart (dressing well, not being overweight) and being polite, with a bit of cultural understanding and having sense of humour are mostly more important to Thai women than age

I have given up trying to tell thai girls I am too old for them and now just smile and let them shag me to within an inch of death  

Have you ever noticed how thai women hardly ever say no to their husbands.

I am talking about your average thai woman, not the slappers from the netherworlds of pattaya and Nana.

[stogie bear]

. But don't tell me that the same man walking into a room with a 20 yr. old in tow would not raise some eyebrows. I've seen it happen - everyone's smiling, but its easy to see what people are thinking.

I disagree... I've been to hundreds of places with a young sexy ladyboy on my arm and all I see in Thailand is indifference! Believe me - if people were thinking something was strange or not right then either my partner or I would notice it!

Of course, like Winston points out, the age thing is a Western hang up and consequently not applicable to me.

[Guest]

Just a quickie from me. I work overseas, but visit the UK about 4 times a year. My view of the British girls is that they look great in their teenage and early twenties, but rapidly go off thereafter (no comment on many of their personalities and behaviour).

I see this much less in eastern Europe and Russia where feminism is still regarded as a plus (not for all of them I must add - but the vast majority).

The same applies to Asia, where they are also blessed with better figures and are usually smaller (?!?!?!). Naturally, after leaving the likes of the EU countries (I include Italy, Greece and Spain, etc., here) - its something great to see the difference in the standard of ladies (and LBs) in LOS. They are different to our 'accepted' norms, and with their different culture too - everything is more interesting and exciting.

As Stoogie said - the acceptance of age difference is another added and special element. Although not old myself (I like to think!?!) and in pretty good shape - I would also be viewed with scepticism back home if I was walking around with a shapely and beautiful 18 or 20 year old. Lucky us - that we have such an environment in LOS, etc..

[olekunde]

i think it comes down to poverty, in all developing countries there is also a macho culture, and when females have less power and education, they adapt and find themselves with anybody that can give them financial security. so girls from these countries have to play along on what they have, and that is their looks.

i dont like to generalize too much, but guys that get a "thai-bride" would more likely be at the lower-end of the social-hierarchy in the west. very rarely would you see a guy with a "good-job" import a lady from a develpoing country.
so when looking at the failure-rate of thai-farang marriages/long-term relationships, it will in many cases be that there are two uneducated parties that is less likely to have multi-cultural understanding.

[Tomcat]

I read a report once which stated that for most marriage bureaus whether Thai or Phililpino or any type you can name, men of any age prefer a partner not over 25. They took a 100 fifty yo men and 90% of them would not take a partner over 25 Yo.

It human nature that men like younger girls in general.

Many woman obervers will perceive the realation ship in the future when say the guy is 65 and GFriend is only 30-35 and think that its wrong from that angle. men are just green with envy and you hear the usual " lucky cunt" whisperd around.

People will also gossip about such things because they have nought else to occupy there minds and just like to talk about others behind there backs. dreadfull!.

[looktoyou]

I think women in the UK would have a degree of influence on content in the media, ie lots of career women - the increasing population of "degree wielding women".

Hence any threat within their domain is dealt with promptly. Stop the men from marrying young, attractive, feminine Thai ladies. Not good competition!

I also believe young men are a conservative lot, a quick shag during an overseas trip with an Asian girl but not marriage. I think peer pressure keeps them tied to the local product. Until that they break the peer pressure.

Can you imagine a 21 y/o man having the confidence/courage to introduce a Thai lady as a girlfriend to his friends? Not likely.

I hope nobody wants to change the status quo, I mean does anybody want 10 million men to wake up one day and say "screw this I am going to Asia"?

Cheers

[shaggedout]

I recently made one of my very infrequent trips back to the UK and saw several editions of a programme on the Sky satellite that I think was called "Binge Britain" in which groups of both males and females were followed by a film crew as they enjoyed a night on the town.

If the young women in these programmes are typical of today's "English Roses" then I am pleased and proud to have married a Thai woman. (I am 50 and she is 40).

Admittedly all of England's young females should not be tarred with the same brush, but almost every episode featured foul-mouthed, pot-bellied, poorly dressed, badly made-up, beer-swilling slappers who seemed proud of their behaviour as they had droves of young men competing for their attention. Those guys have obviously never been to S.E. Asia.

I contrasted their behaviour with that of my wife who is a non-smoking teetotaller (unlike me) who makes every effort to be well-groomed just to pay a quick visit to the village pub.

We never openly received any disparaging comments or looks when we went out together although I know that the subject of mail order brides was on the minds of some women as whatever they read in the "Sun" must be true!    

One night in the local, I had to smile when one of the village's 22 year old "beauties", resplendent in elasticated slacks, halter top and training shoes, with the obligatory beer gut and navel bling on display, busily making inroads into her second gallon of lager, asked my wife "How come you're not fat at your age?" My wife smiled, looked at the girl's pint of lager and didn't have to say a word.

I looked around the bar at my friends' wives who are of a similar age to my wife and smiled to myself.

For once in my life, I had made the correct decision !!!!!!!