Your friends & family...

[stogie bear]

I've heard a lot of different threads mention various views that your friends and family have regarding your trips to the LOS (Thailand.)

Some are 'accused' of being sex-pats, perverts or just given the cold shoulder by family etc. Some of us go to a deal of trouble to lie and cover our tracks when it comes to our Eastern activities!

So what about you and your situation?

Do your mates chastise you or are they jealous? Does your family keep a quite distance from you or do they think it's great that you are popping off to a global brothal for your jollies?

Do you lie and hide the truth? Do you even care?

For myself, my family are so used to my weird and unexplainable life that I can't surprise them. I don't have any friends at home, but the locals down the boozer don't really ask me any questions or care too much abut my life or what I do...

I know this is different for a lot of posters here. I'd be interested on your takes on this...

Stogie Bear

[olekunde]

all my friends are jealous, since they are pervs too. my family wonder why i doesnt change destination('you've been there so many times already'). they heard rumours about the sex industry, but thailand has become a mainstream tourist-destination so its quite ligit to travel there in their eyes.

[Guest]

When the hero of LAUNDRY MAN, the Jake Needham novel about Bangkok, moved to Thailand from Washington DC, here's what he had to say about the reaction of the folks back home........


"Few Americans seemed to know much of anything about any place that was not America, but still it surprised me that I didn't know even one person back in Washington who would have had anything at all to say about Bangkok, other than on one of two topics.

"Food was one of these topics, of course. Everyone I knew claimed to love Thai food. Sending out for Chinese was cheap. Sending out for Thai seemed somehow a lot hipper. Of course, most Westerners had no real idea what they were actually eating in either case, but Thai food was both cheap and hip, so how could you beat that?

"The other topic, of course, was sex. Bangkok was inexorably intertwined in most people's minds with stories they'd heard somewhere, although few would admit to remembering exactly where, of an unabashedly dissolute life and the easy availability of free sex. Well, perhaps not exactly free, but certainly pretty inexpensive sex, at least by world standards. Thai sex was a little like Thai food, cheap but with a kind of exotic style to it. Couldn't beat that combination in any context, could you?

"With all that going for it, you'd think then that the idea of living in Bangkok would be a pretty enticing idea to a lot of people, wouldn't you? You might think that, but you'd be wrong.

"A couple of times I tried joking that, well, a man could sure make a lot worse choice than taking up residence in a city that was internationally famed for food and sex, but when I saw the solemn expressions that crack engendered in most Americans, I swiftly eliminated it from my repertoire. Maybe the suggestion that food and sex were actually significant parts of life made Americans uncomfortable. Maybe I ought to have more friends from France.

"Anyway, the reaction I typically got when people found out I lived in Bangkok was something I had gotten used to. Oh, the place was exotic and interesting, they murmured, but yet ... somehow it was still a city where a lot of people went who weren't particularly nice. Oddly, on the whole, that perception had more substance to it than I really wanted to admit."

[Bit Beefy]

Most people i tell people i go to thailand make stupid comments about Ladyboys and being fooled by them, Fucking little Bwoys, people planting Heroin in there suitcases, the tsunami and of course the prosis. My parents just wana know why i dont go somewhere different... brothers and sisters think its great, friends are also jealous as hell but still make stupid comments about the above oh yeah AIDS aswell... most of my friends i tell them what i do out here i just change the word LB for GG and im a local hero As for whether or not i care, of course i care i have a life to lead here when im not in thailand... no1 knows what i really get up to and i will keep it that way

[daveduke007]

I was pretty open about my relationship with my    in LOS,

I had to be truthful with my ex g/f of two years in the UK (about 15 months ago ), it was not fair on her and she is only young (21), im (45), she is a good kid and deserved the truth, and after the initial hurt she was happy for me and was glad I did not leave her for another girl

As you can probaly imagine, being a manager of a pub , word got round pretty quickly about my relationship with a ladyboy and I got the usual piss takes and gossip.
I got tired trying to explain that ladyboys in LOS are nothing like the trannies from the 'gay village" in Manchester, so I let them get on with their ignorance.

As the saying goes "yesterdays news is old news"

Some of the punters still think im a little ting tong but I dont care,  I would not change a thing.

I told my sisters too, and of course " shock and bewildered"
Not told my mam and dad yet

Bottom line is,
I love my teerak, she loves me and were happy, thats all that matters

You only live ONCE, enjoy it while you can

Dave...

[Torurot]

Most of my friends + a few rellies know I go with LB in Thailand. I TOLD THEM straightout. No one has stopped speaking to me because of it, and there has been no change in attitude/friendship. They have all seen photos. I think a few wouldn't say no if they were plonked down in the middle of Nana, Crocodile, or Walking str. As one said, it's a bit like fat chicks, you hope ya mates don't find out but if they do, too bad.

[Tomcat]

I have legitimate business in the Far East but some people still think your there for the sex and only for the sex . The Far East and payforsex just always go together in the public mind....some truth there...

Most of my friends are travelled businessman as well and so theres no disgrace . businessman and girly bars go together.

I throw a cloak over my Ladyboying but some guys like to ask about Ladyboys so i tell them a little of what i know ........but i wouldnt bring the subject up unless asked and i have openly said that of the hundreds of girls ive shagged since 1989 at least some must have been Ladyboys by default.

But at least i have business reasons as good excuse.
My work is in Asia and i have no choice.. .....and as they say in Taiwan........."U NO WORK , U NO EAT"

[Mai-Kee]

My really close friends and family know the truth. The rest thinks I'm one of those yellow fever sextourists, who is hopelessly addicted..... well.... true in a way and far too complictaed to explain the reality. None of their business anyway. I can live with that!

MK

[katoeylover]

Most of my friends know i go for the sex, and some make fun of Ladyboys. However i don't let on - its basically none of their business anyway.

They all know I love it in Thailand - its about the only place I can truly relax from work!! and I will soon buy a property which gives me even more reasons to spend time out there.

[Guest]

Very interesting thread !! I very much sympathise and agree with Big beefy. I get very annoyed at the jibes people make about Thailand and particularly those idiots that have never been and think that Blackpool ( a horrible seaside place that alot of Brits used to go to on hols) is the centre of the holiday universe !!! One of the things I respected Taksin for was that he really tried to change this misconception of thailand. A million Brits visit thailand every year ! They can't be all sex perverts I hope !!!

Like Tomcat I do have a few business trips that I have to make to SE Asia but all my holidays are spent in Thailand so my friends and family know this. Again for many different reasons I have to lie about why I go to everyone. My story is that I have a girlfriend there who works for a famous hotel chain who can't get time off to come to the UK yet !!!!!!!!!!!

I don't really know what all my friends think as I never asked them. Once one of my friends asked about ladyboys and made a joke that my gg over there was one !!! How I laughed if only he
knew !!

My parents hate me going coz of AIDS etc.. I would not tell them coz they still don't understand gays and lesbians. Can you then imagine trying to explain transexuals to them !!! For some people even the youth of today sadly will never quite understand transexualism or more importantly accept it. It has taken more than 20 years for homosexuality to be tolerated here but still even amoungst my most professional friends and work colleagues homophobia is still very much alive !!! What I find incredible is that from my experiences alot of the gay community do not support transsexuals either so you can imagine what a struggle it is going to be if the hetero and homo community are both against you !! What hope have transsexuals got of being tolerated and recognised in a civilised society !!! Just look around you - how many ts girls work in your office or profession ? Plenty of gays though.

Anyway for those reasons - my life is secret and much as I admire people for telling the truth I am still not confident or convinced that most people out there are indifferent or tolerant of alternative lifestyles. My parents would probably be disgusted and i could not say whether they would disown me or not. My friends I suspect on the whole would be shocked but probably ok but I know that I would be quietly shut out of certain conversations or discretely forgotten to be invited to various events.

I like the way things are and I'll take this secret to the grave.

[kevin4252]

First two trips all my buddies/family knew about, business related at first, although i was a long time habitue of the ts/tv scene here in the NY area, joined this group 2 months prior to trip, and what a bonanza, also on 2nd trip met SB and a few of his buddies, NOW, the 3rd trip in the planning stages and in a quandry as to what to tell anyone, lol , fortunately I have always travelled quite a bit, so perhaps just say off to Oahu,

[andre459]

I haven't told any of my friends and family I like ladyboys and I have covered up most of my trips to Thailand with other holidays. I have tacked on time in LOS to the end of my trips to other countries in South East Asia, I have enjoyed these holidays but the main reason I return to Asia is so I can go to Thailand. The only problem with this is it makes my time in LOS very short.
Like some of the previous posts I have joked with some of my friends about the girls in LOS but never brought up ladyboys. I have a fairly good idea what my families reaction would be as my uncle was openly gay, he came out when he was 25 and lived with his Filipino partner. Most of my family, including my dad, disowned him so that I probably only meet him twice in about 20 years (he passed away 2 years ago). Some of the older generation turned a blind eye and he was always the funny uncle who never got married.
So I'm not to keen on my family finding out as they wouldn't understand. The main problem with this is my family is very nosey they always have to know what I'm doing so I can't have much of a private life.
Oh well I'm in the process of selling my business so my next venture will have to be one that gives me a legitimate excuse for going to Thailand.

[brocklanders]

Most of my friends know about my love of going to sex tourist destinations but no way could I explain it to my family. My sisters have been suspicious but I make sure to take some legitimate photos and bring back souvenirs and clothes to keep them guessing.

As far as ladyboys go, there is no possible way they would ever understand my sudden liking of passable preops and post op ladyboys. Most of my friends that I have brought to Thailand, always point out the hottest girls as being ladyboys but they just couldnt make the jump. It took me 8 trips to Thailand before finally deciding to go for a post op out of KC3. Took a couple more trips to SIngapore and Thailand before I could go with a passable preop. Still very difficult for me to even look at a cock and touching one is out of the question. But for anyone else who hasnt seen how beautiful thai ladyboys can be, I would just be another faggot to them if I told them of my ways.

[vangough05]

I do business over this way and thats why I travel. As long as I bring back free stuff for the friends and hangers on , no one bats a eye lid.
All my family know that I had 2 bad marriages and don't want a gf or wife . They know I play but they don't know who I play with and I like to keep it that way. Each to their own Im back in Los in less then 48 hours l

[Guest]

All my friends and family have a clear understanding about why I come to Thailand.

They know I have no interest in sex and only come here to take photos of temples, collect pottery, ride elephants and hike through jungles in search of exotic orchids

They know I love the sea food, expecially the golden oysters

If I was interesting in sex I'd go to england