i WOULD LOVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF YOU STUNNING TS'S. IS THIS POSSABLE? OR IS IT JUST A DREAM.
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A relationship with one of the LB'S is of course possible and not just some dream. It is no different from any committment you might make in your life. You take your chances, you work on it, maybe it will work maybe it will go up in flames but at least you can look at yourself in the mirror one day and say honestly you gave it your best shot.
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haha ...
dear chris, its just a dream or fantasy. pay for their time and dont get carried away. it will cause you a lot of harm. enjoy ur holidays and get over it..eherm..well nobody here has, but... well .. get around, post pics in pic forum etc thats the best you can do ...
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Your question is a common one, but cheers to you for at least asking
Having dated a Bangkok LB for 7 months last year (freelance cosmetic artist and model - never seen the inside of a Nana or Patpong bar) I can speak with some personal knowledge in this regard
Thait said, others with greater experience than I are invited to jump in here
My first response to your question would be to say that - wthout question - your dream will always be nothing more than a dream, until you take the necessary actions to turn it into a reality
Commitments you must be prepared to make it a reality
- TIME (in country with her)
A one month holiday followed by extended distance chat / e-mail / phone calls until you return in a few months simply does not work
Like any relationship, the more time you can invest the better the return - and, with few exceptions, this means relocating to Thailand
In my case - as my work requires monthly international travel - the best I could manage was 13-15 days / month at home in Bangkok with her
After a few months of dating, I was told that - while she wished to continue in the relationship - she would like to have a 'gig' (Thai slang for casual friend, companion, or fuck-buddy) now and then while I was away
At first taken aback, after some consideration, I recognized the motivation behind her request
Put simply, she was 29, gorgeous, surrounded by beautiful boys, girls, and LBs at work, loved to have fun, and was horny all the time (all the good reasons to date her!)
Understandably, she did not wish to be someone else (as she put it, "be a monk") while I was away
To he credit, at least she raised the issue first - as opposed to simply going out and fucking around without telling me
Unless you are living in Thailand full time, you may expect a similar experience with your girl
- MONEY - Again, the return on your investment will mirror what you put in
I was lucky - my former girlfriend made (by Thai standards) good money and never made it an issue with us - often paid for the taxi, even bought dinner now and then
Unless your girl is similarly independent, you may - as you are the farang with the big baht in your wallet - expect to be expected to support her
How much, you ask? Others here with more knowledge than I may wish to reply, but I am guessing 30k-40k baht / month is probably in the middle range
After some time in the relationship, be prepared as well for the request of a loan - which may (or may not - Thais tend to be very 'flexible' in this regard) be paid back in accordance with original T & C
- PATIENCE - Please be prepared to take the stars out of your eyes, and recognize that love does not conquer all
Absent your ability to speak fluent Thai, you must understand that you are - at the end of the day - a functional illiterate unfamiliar with country, culture, religion, and attitudes / expectations
While my former girlfriend was a "top 5" univeristy graduate - and thus had good English skills which allowed us to get along nicely each day - she nevertheless lacked the vocabulary to convey nuances and shades of grey, so to speak
By comparison, my Thai abilities were almost nil
Moreover - while I have traveled (and lived) in Asia for a good portion of my life, I quickly found out that I did not know as much about contemporary Thai culture as I thought I did
Thus there - inevitably - came a time when our respective attitudes and expectations did not, shall we say, exactly meet in harmonious agreement
At these times, you must be PATIENT
Recognize that your Western attitudes and experiences have not prepared you for these times you will face in your relationship with her
At a minimum, you must refrain from personal challenge or argument with her when your views do not coincide
More preferable - if you wish to make the necessary investment to remain in the relationship - you should be open, willing, and able to assimilate the ways of your newly adopted country
Perhaps most of all, you must be HAPPY and keep the relationship SANUK ('Thai word roughly translated as 'fun' or 'pleasant')
The Thais value harmonious personal relationships greatly - even to the point of putting a smile on when they are feeling exactly the opposite
This you must learn to do as well
With the benefit of hindsight from my experience, I would go even further, and recommend that you be prepared to eschew what (in our culture) we might call a "serious conversation"
Why, you ask?
Well, in the first place, 'serious' is just the opposite of 'pleasant' and 'fun' - which is what she (like all Thais) expects from everyone (including - and especially - you)
Even if you are trying to be 'serious' in a light-hearted and pleasant way, I would venture the notion that the differences in culture, language, (possibly) age, and (most importantly) attitudes and expectations make a mis-communication very possible if not likely
Thus I recommend you weigh the potential benefits of such a conversation against the more likely downside...
...and then forget what you wanted to say, simply SMILE at her, keep it SANUK, and be HAPPY that you are living your dream in a relationship with a Thai LB
This is my no means chapter and verse - I could go on at length about the joys and challenges you may expect
Just wanted to give you a flavor of what you may expect if you wish to pursue your dream - or wish to avoid if you decide otherwise
If you do not wish to make the necessary inventments of TIME, MONEY, and PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING in the relationship to keep it SANUK - and, quite frankly, most guys will not - there are always plenty of LBs available to you for "pay for play" fun
Again, others with more experience than I are invited to comment
Thanks to all
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(olekunde @ May 06 2006,10:56) haha ...
dear chris, its just a dream or fantasy. pay for their time and dont get carried away. it will cause you a lot of harm. enjoy ur holidays and get over it..eherm..well nobody here has, but... well .. get around, post pics in pic forum etc thats the best you can do ...Too old to die young!
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(thick81 @ May 06 2006,18:34) A one month holiday followed by extended distance chat / e-mail / phone calls until you return in a few months simply does not work
(thick81 @ May 06 2006,18:34)
...she would like to have a 'gig' (Thai slang for casual friend, companion, or fuck-buddy) now and then while I was away
(thick81 @ May 06 2006,18:34)
Unless your girl is similarly independent, you may - as you are the farang with the big baht in your wallet - expect to be expected to support her
How much, you ask? Others here with more knowledge than I may wish to reply, but I am guessing 30k-40k baht / month is probably in the middle range
(thick81 @ May 06 2006,18:34)
- PATIENCE - Please be prepared to take the stars out of your eyes, and recognize that love does not conquer all
Absent your ability to speak fluent Thai, you must understand that you are - at the end of the day - a functional illiterate unfamiliar with country, culture, religion, and attitudes / expectations
While my former girlfriend was a "top 5" univeristy graduate - and thus had good English skills which allowed us to get along nicely each day - she nevertheless lacked the vocabulary to convey nuances and shades of grey, so to speak
(thick81 @ May 06 2006,18:34)
At a minimum, you must refrain from personal challenge or argument with her when your views do not coincide
More preferable - if you wish to make the necessary investment to remain in the relationship - you should be open, willing, and able to assimilate the ways of your newly adopted country
Perhaps most of all, you must be HAPPY and keep the relationship SANUK ('Thai word roughly translated as 'fun' or 'pleasant')
The Thais value harmonious personal relationships greatly - even to the point of putting a smile on when they are feeling exactly the opposite
This you must learn to do as well
With the benefit of hindsight from my experience, I would go even further, and recommend that you be prepared to eschew what (in our culture) we might call a "serious conversation"
All-in-all an excellent contribution ThickToo old to die young!
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I think its also important to highlight the difference between a bar girl and a non-working girl (i.e. a girl with a regular job). A preface to my comments - this is my personal observation and view on the matter and is not meant to attack anyone personally.
It's my belief that it takes a certain kind of person to work in a bar - it's a pretty conscious decision you make to live this kind of lifestyle and do this kind of work day in and day out. I fully understand that economic circumstances play a significant role and influence, which is probably the main and only reason, why girls/boys/ladyboys choose to work in a bar. But you have to remember that only a thin slice of society staffs places like Patpong and Nana, and that millions of other people in similar situations make do with their lives flipping burgers, shining shoes, and slinging fake CDs. Those who choose to work in the bar are subjected to a most unordinary life - filled with experiences that have the potential to destroy even the most innocent of souls. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit and being a little dramatic, but I guess I've seen dogs exhibit more traces of humanity than some of the bar girls I've seen/chatted with. Some of these girls in the bar have been reduced to little more than automatons that know little more than to talk, eat, fuck, and sleep. Note, I don't say all are like this, but I think most suffer from this in some degree or another. I've never been down this road before, but I would think that most bar girls are incapable of feeling the emotion we call love, at least in the Western sense. So if that's what you are looking for, then I am afraid you're going to be searching for an awful long time.
I don't have any experience with non-bar girls in Thailand so I'll be mum on that topic. But as I've said, I do believe that there is a big distinction that you (and anyone else looking for a 'relationship' in the true sense of the word) needs to recognize.
I need some more ice with my coke.I'm a rough-ridin', hootin' and hollerin', ladyboy lovin' cowboy! Bang bang yer dead!!!
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(CHRISTOPHER @ May 06 2006,04:42) i WOULD LOVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF YOU STUNNING TS'S.
He asks, "Are TSs into men?"
And then states, "I would love to be in a relationship with one of you stunning TS's."
Looks to me, but I may be wrong, that he thinks that the pic in your avatars and you are one in the same.
If I'm right...you're gonna have to give him the tough news... But maybe he'll settle for just short-time...."It's not Gay if you beat them up afterwards." --- Anon
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Thanks to you all for you great experiences shared, I realy envy you to be so lucky to have been there done that. I would realy love to hear it also straight from the horses mouth. I believe that with the right lb we could be happy forever if there was sincerity and devotion.
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(jellybean @ May 07 2006,03:06) How much, you ask? Others here with more knowledge than I may wish to reply, but I am guessing 30k-40k baht / month is probably in the middle range
I may be living in Issan nextyear earning a very meager Thai style salary. I was thinking of covering all teeraks expenses, she wouldn't have to work unless she wanted to, plus give her 3000 a month to put in a special account that hopefully she wouldn't touch and give her a saftey net in case the relationship doesn't last.
Is this completely unrealistic? i thought up north about 200 a day is a typical salary for someone without a uni degree?
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