Sending money to the los

[katoeylover]

Hi all,

I have been back in the UK just over a week and today i sent some money to someone I met in cascades.

I did it because I can and I thought it might just make life a little easier for her for a week. It was totally unsolicited. I am under no illusion the she will stop working, nor would make her "fall in love" with me.
I just thought it would be a nice gesture.

What I would like to know is, am i being stupid, or just patronising, or that i am doing it to ease my own conscience or maybe some other reason.
I would be interested to know how many others do this, and for what reasons.

[jellybean]

If you've money to give away you can throw some my way

Seriously though only you know why you want to send money and only you will know if its the right thing to do. A word of caution though and that is the LB in question may think its more, like you want a relationship. I would say most of these girls would dream of having a steady Farang boyfriend. If you you intend butterflying on your next trip, make sure your LB understands this from the outset else there could be a whole heap of trouble in store for you

[stogie bear]

This is a good question and there are too many variables to give you a short answer... but that won't stop us!

I have seen people bequeath gifts such as you have done and seen a range of reactions from the girls. It depends on the girl you give it to and on what terms you parted with her.

I have known a very famous girl from Obsessions been angry to tears because a gift she was expecting turned out to be about 10% of what she was expecting. But the fool in question here was trying to win her affection and he thought that this would do it.

In your situation I know that the lady in question is touched by the gesture. Realistically though, this won't change things between you and her. No points have been scored here. She already liked you as a person as well as a customer. The deed was probably un-needed.

So - it really comes down to you and why you thought it necessary to seal this trip with a post-flight gift. I suspect that it is something unresolved by you about her. Some nagging doubt about whether or not you had been a significant part of her life or whether you had made an impact on her the way you wanted to.

Maybe she wasn't very clear in the way she expressed her feelings or maybe she was clear but just a little indifferent! It leaves us insecure when we don't here the exact words that we want to hear (even when they come from a girl working in a bar.) I don't know the answer to that one.

Wherever you come from is pretty gloomy and desolate and probably a lonely place to live. With the freewheeling memories of Bangkok and Thailand still very clear in your mind it's easy to get a little depressed when you pass throgh the wrong end of customs and land back on earth in both senses of the word!

Most people who come here and leave after a trip that goes by too fast are now slumped over desks, stumbling through crowds of strangers or just hiding from the depressing cold and rain.

Home sucks when you are in holiday-hangover mode.

The gift was unasked for and it's a nice unexpected treat. It will be accepted as such by this lady.

Some girls however will make some guys haemorrhage cash and still leave themselves feeling unfulfilled. Some girls are experts at picking the marks and dominating their time and emotions. Some girls just get lucky and stumble into rich guys who want to treat them and take care of them.

Thailand is a drug and users often don't know that they have been high until they are experiencing the lows.

Over the years several threads have dominated the forum about the LOS blues. That horrible feeling when you are at home when you can't be with someone who fulfilled every need just a few days before. It's worse when you know that the girl of your dreams is the girl of every mans dreams.

We are selfish and we don't want to share - but the reality is that we do share. Thailand is for sharing!

Maybe it's time to do something drastic and life-changing. Maybe it's time to move here and never again get those LOS Blues!

[jmaryt]

do yourself a favor!...use your noodle BEFORE you give anything to a bar girl thosands of miles away!..i agree with stogie in principal,as there are too many variables,and you have to be very careful you don't get "PLAYED" with the girl using a pschological scheme by using your emotions against you and to her advantage..in other words be VERY CAREFUL...know the person WELL BEFORE attempting to send money,because keep this always in the back of your mind!..."money number "1",ALWAYS number "1" ..been there!...done that!...if i can help just one person in regards to this,then this message will have served it's purpose!..be
"goddamn" careful please think it through!..(smart money)
says just get your ass over there,and you won't have to be concerned!...

[coxy277]

if you think by doing the your going to bea hero forget it but if you are doing it becouse like use all you have fallen in love with the thai thing not the girl but the way thailand makes you feel then thats up to you, but if you want to be somting to this girl and it makes you feel good make shore you do it right call her on the phone at laest once a week tell her she is pretty and makes you hart feel good to be with her that would work better than money she would say do both

[rob69in]

NEVER EVER LOOSE SIGHT OF.... "MONEY NUMBER 1" !!!

There is even a book called "Money Number 1", have a read, it's very interesting, & very truthfull. There is also a documentry floating around the discovery chanel called "The Full Moon Party", it hi-lites alot of the falseness about it all.  

It... IS... very nice to be in the LOS & enjoy the whole deal, country, people, service, food, GG's, LB's etc, etc, BUT... the vast majority of it all is a charade, a well exicuted, very proffessional show, & be under no illusion its otherwise.

Go there enjoy yourself, be respectful, be polite, be nice, avoid confrontation, & pretend they are your cherished partener, GG, LB, Boy whatever your pleasure. You will be treated far better than in the west, soak it up, wallow in your new found popularity,.... BUT... DO NOT LOOSE SIGHT OF "MONEY NUMBER 1".

When the times up to go back home, try not to shed that tear, even if they do, ( Its part of the show )... you came,  you saw, you did, you enjoyed. Till the next time. Because when you are gone, the one you were with will be dropping the tissue, marching off...........NEXT !!

Its a harsh reality when they have been oh so nice to you.

My advice, don't send money, if you must, to feel better about yourself, OK, but try not to think they will not be working in the same manner you found them, once you have gone. "You can take the GG, LB, Boy out the bar, but you cannot take the bar out of the GG, LB, Boy"

Of course I believe there are the odd exceptions & if you have found them in legitimate employ, then, just maybe you have a chance !!

Just my thoughts.      

[daveduke007]

What are your guys thoughts on sending money to a GENUINELY NON-WORKING girl? I would appreciate any input.

Thanks

Dave...

[Bit Beefy]

I msut be some Jadddded ASS HOLE as i have never thought about sending anyone money, but touch wood, i havent been bumped by a GG or LB which should leave me Jadded... I think ive soaked up all the stories ive heard and just said to myself, right, that shit aint gona happen to me....i get the blues like the rest of you but i just deal with that in my own little way... Im not of the old fashioned mentality that i work woman stays at home or when i get paid i gota pay for my mrs to get her hair done or her nails etc etc.. I am of the belief that people should be given treats....lol.. Now if ure saying u sent the cash as a treat then no problem but as others have said dont expect anything more than a thanku.... I am not in a position to just hand money out but maybe if i was my mindset would change.... As for non working girls, same aplies, treats are cool, just dont let people think its a salary.....

[katoeylover]

I appreciate the comments, especially from SB, very inciteful. However I think you missed the point. I know it won't change anything, and althought sorry to be away have not got the "blues". It was a small gift, basically to say thanks. That's it. She is not my GF, I am not "in love" and I am not stupid enough to think thats shes not our f...king some guy tonight.

As for you Dave, I say if it makes you and her happy, then who are we to say you are doing anything wrong. Go with it and enjoy. Life's too short for any regrets.

[stogie bear]

The people who are opposed to sending money usually have a poorer grasp of English.

Anyone else notice this?

[PigDogg]

I think if one's going to say thank you, it's best to give the extra cash on the last day. At the same time you can tell her you want to see her next trip (if u know that's what you want to do) but that you never send money.

[dummy_plug]

If anyone has a lot of money and a burning desire to give it away you can always send it to me. Hell, I'll even write you sweet e-mails and let you call me on the phone.

PS: Adrian, don't forget what you promised to do if you win the lottery!!!

[Tomcat]

II just thought it would be a nice gesture.

The problem is with that reason is that you will expected to repeat it if you see her again. As a rule of thumb any payments for sex, tips and gestures once comitted will have to be repeated the next time if its the same person.

I have a nice some time girlfriend called Am and i sent her 7K baht yesterday but she is a GF. I used to part with a lot more than that with my old causasion girlfriend believe me.

Unless there is some emotional connection or real friend connection i would think twice. I had to block my email to two  LBs in Pattaya who kept sending me  mails saying they were starving to death etc etc. Thats the problem with the casual gestures ... it dont stop there...believe me! ive been going to Thailand for a long time.


GF or real friend............yes, no problem

Bar girl....... no, unless you plan on getting hitched.

[gunslinger]

Of the 2 types of relationships, ones where money changes hands and ones where it doesn't. Whether there is any real love, emotion or friendship, or whether they are working girls or not, I would say the latter would stand the test of time.

[jmaryt]

generallyi am in agreement with all opinions stated here.you
do not want play the fool,because there is a BETTER THAN EVEN CHANCE YOU WILL BE PLAYED!..after all!...think about this!..you are thousands of miles away,so really what the "fuck" good are you to them,except for them to "sucker"
you for money!..you can tell them you are going there,and never show up!..so that being said,their perspective is why not try to "slam" you for dough!..nothin" to lose,and might get
a "fool" who will send them some "bonus" money!.again!..do yourself a favor keep your money in your wallet,unless of course you enjoy being made an "ass" of!..send 'em money
and then send some more while you are at it!...take all you send!...no problem!,and then laugh at ya,and then will show
no respect after that..after all who "respects a goddamn fool"
the real bottom line is this!..you MUST be a fool to them if you are sending money,and not even getting laid!...something to think about!..if you have the time and dough GO THERE!
remember!..always remember,.."money number "1" DON'T
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SEND MONEY OVER THERE!
better yet!...if you want to be kind subscribe to asian-ts.com
and SEND stogie over there and he can do your "fucking" for you!..THAT'S HOW STUPID IT IS TO SEND MONEY TO THEM!