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What is a 'long term' relationship?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by (JaiDee @ Sep. 02 2005,22:14)
    Originally posted by (Looker @ Sep. 02 2005,07:58)
    But..what kind of lb was she? A club worker one or someone with a normal job/normal life?
    Ummmm, that girl was actually a college grad  who didn't like working in bars but still did some hooking from escorting, referrels from here, going to straight disco's and the like; so yes, a working girl.  You may have someone that you are smitten with Looker and that is great, I hope it works out for you and as we always talk about up here, there ARE that small percentage of nice ladyboys and ladies who just want a nice relationship.  The question always asked is 'where to find them' and truth be told only the people that can live there full-time have the means to find that out.

        if anyone thinks they can carry on a meaningful relationship with a working girl while they are out of the country they are only decieving themselves and setting themselves up for a lot of hurt later.
    I understand...so she was a sex worker in a way or another.
    Well, there are "good" lb's outthere, and plenty of them. I personally know at least 6 or 7. I've been with a couple of them and since I do not live in BKK have serious problem to have a relationship. Also, I know a few in KL and S'pore and are not sex workers. Beside I also date GG's so the whole thing is messy enough for me already
    One thing I must say however, even about "good" lb's, is that they will tend to talk about sex and manifest sexual intention much, much earlier than what an average GG will.
    Not for money..don't misunderstand me, but I think because they find offering sex quickly as the only way to get a man!
    Perhaps, this quickness in jumping in bed makes them more promiscuous than GG's and screws up, in a way, the possibility of having a "serious" relationship.
    You will immediately think: if she fucked me so easily, she will do that to others, which it may not always be true but we guys are strange, if she doesn't fuck with us quick we are are bored..if she does we think she is a slut..am I wrong to say that??
    In case of sex workers, the whole thing becomes even more complicated and unreliable. last thing in my mind is to date a sex worker! You can take a girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl! I've seen my part of horror stories, happening to friends, to be firm and solid on this point!
    Do only what you think it's good for you, and not what others think should be good for you!

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    • #32
      Originally posted by (JaiDee @ Aug. 31 2005,18:47)
      also, this word should be clarified..... I assume that a 'relationship' means that the 2 people are monogamous, correct?  I  mean, any one of us can say we are in a relationship with X, but be screwing Y and Z [squared]  every chance we get when we travel?  and in this context than the object of our affections would probably be screwing anyone that she can as well, especially if she is a working girl. I don't think that's a relationship, it's just 2 people who like each other and see each other when they are not screwing other people.

       I think to be fair the word relationship in this poll should mean 2 people that are committed to each other and only each other.  That may change the way people answer a bit.
      Nearly all my friends - gay or straight - who are in my age and married, or in a fixed partnership for more than 10 years are shagging around like dogs. Does that mean that they are not in a long-term relationship? Maybe because I don't belive in the term "long-term" in the emotional aspect, anyway, I think that it's also here a quite individual thing. Some - very few actually - are monogamous people, some might need the multitude, some are quick movers, others more the nest-keepers. I doubt that all that is motivated by the emotional factor of a relationship.
      I haven't had a relationship, means living together with someone for more than 1 year in the past 10 years. So I'd consider for myself everything around that time period already as quite a long-term thing....

      MK
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEdXtf-GHvU

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      • #33
        Originally posted by (jellybean @ Sep. 03 2005,00:56)
        As someone currently in this situation, my views maybe some what biased but Kai and I are still "together" sure being apart is a real bitch but we talk daily and she still working but it is just that.....work.
        I was hoping you would weigh in on this topic, Jellybean, because I respect the relationship you have going with Kai and the way you deal with it; open-minded. But I am just curious; who is to say that her "work" does not lead to another relationship or 2 and then she has a couple going at the same time? that is the way you met her after all.

        I like Kai and as I say I respect you for being so fair with her and understanding the situation you are both in and it sucks; you like her, she likes you, and yet you can't be together. I am just wondering if you are concerned that lightning could strike twice or 3 times for her.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by
          As someone currently in this situation, my views maybe some what biased but Kai and I are still "together" sure being apart is a real bitch but we talk daily and she still working but it is just that.....work.
          Some people need more than a slap, don't they!

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          • #35
            Originally posted by (JaiDee @ Sep. 03 2005,15:40)
             I am just wondering if you are concerned that lightning could strike twice or 3 times for her.
            Bottom line is....Yes, it is a concern. but that is a concern with any long distance relationship, not just because she is a working girl. People need people, and if phone call can't provide the comfort needed then they may look closer to home.

            Specifically with Kai and me, I've tried to cultivate an atmosphere of openness and trust between us and I trust she would tell me if she found somebody else. She has more to loose by not telling me and me finding out from another source than telling me herself.

            If it were to happen and she found somebody else and she told me, she knows she would still have me as a friend (and customer when I'm in town)  however, if she did not tell me and I found out she knows there would be no way back for us.

            As I mentioned in my previous post we talk daily and this can be anything from 10 minutes to over an hour and we talk about everything life, family, freinds and work. If one or both of us have had a shit day at work then we talk it through and make each other happier.

            I suppose its all about trust, trust is the foundation to any relationship and without it no relationship will survive but it is a two way thing, its as much about me earning her trust as it is her getting mine and as long has I have no reason to not trust her or she me, then the relationship will continue. Kai has gone to extraordinary lengths to prove to me that she isn't with me just for the money, both when we were together and while we've been apart.....How many of your LB friends send you presents?

            During moments of quiet reflection I often find it quite incredulous that she can bring herself to trust me, because let's face it,  these girls often see the dregs of western society hanging around nana (present company excluded of course). "Falang go hok!" - "Falang liar" as Kai often says if she doesn't believe me.
            Too old to die young!

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            • #36
              She is nice girl.
              Attached Files
              666999

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              • #37
                I have read the posts here with interest. I appreciate the frank discussion. I am in a similar position. My lb gf is not bar, but I know she does the occasional customer (bkk chat, referrals etc.). She is one of those 'college students' mentioned above. I guess my question is, does this make my situation any different than if she were a working bar girl ? Or does it come down to the same issues. If we are far away, do they get 'lonely' ? Trust is of course the issue. However, I wonder whether lb's are just genetically prone to stray ?
                I'd appreciate any comments guys.

                Thanks again.



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                • #38
                  Originally posted by (666999 @ Sep. 04 2005,02:25)
                  She is nice girl.  
                  Thanks for the photo, 6
                  Kai was telling she had her hair shorter but hadn't got a photo she could send me.....

                  Cheers
                  Too old to die young!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by (electricladyland @ Sep. 04 2005,09:39)
                    .......However, I wonder whether lb's are just genetically prone to stray ?
                    Good question.....I haven't a clue.

                    Logically speaking males are more prone want to "cast their seed" far and wide to ensure their lineage continues. Whereas women are more comfortable with monogomy. So does it come down to a question of what her hormone balance is?

                    Looking at it from a different angle, I would say opportunities for having a genuine relationship are few and far between for LB's so when the opportunity does comes along they maybe more prepared to work at it that your average gg.
                    Too old to die young!

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      You may be right.

                      A LB once told me in answer to that question (incidentally she was definitely non-scene, and a 'late-bloomer as it were) that LB do enjoy their sex, so maybe they get 'lonely' quite often.

                      As to the genuine relationship aspect, I hope you are right



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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by (jellybean @ Sep. 04 2005,16:39)
                        Originally posted by (666999 @ Sep. 04 2005,02:25)
                        She is nice girl.  
                        Thanks for the photo, 6
                        Kai was telling she had her hair shorter but hadn't got a photo she could send me.....

                        Cheers
                        I did say 'hello' very quickly to Kai about 5 days ago. She was looking absolutely dropdead gorgous! Actually it was less of a 'hello' and more of a surreptitious wave. Terrific lady. To be honest I wasn't looking at her hair as much as I was her wonderful sexy legs!

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by
                          Quote (jellybean @ Sep. 04 2005,16:39)

                          (666999 @ Sep. 04 2005,02:25)
                          She is nice girl.

                          Thanks for the photo, 6
                          Kai was telling she had her hair shorter but hadn't got a photo she could send me.....

                          Cheers
                          Nails have change to!
                          Attached Files
                          666999

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by
                            Nails have change to!
                            That happens every day with Kai! She's obsessed with her nails!

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                            • #44
                              Only with her nails?
                              666999

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