Passion

[Guest]

there has been a lot of talk about love and relationships about up here lately and that is great, we love to see romantic wannabe's even if the moderator's  here don't exactly fit into that catagory!

   I believe the true gauge of this when you are with a ladyboy or for any person for that matter is passion, and this is something that can not be faked. this doesn't mean getting e-mails or calls from 10,000 miles away or a girl saying to you "I love you too much!"  They say this to dozens of guys every year and hope that it works on a few and they will be the ones to support them and keep them in Gucci and gold.

       But when with a ladyboy, is the love accompianed by passion? I mean, unless you are a goofy 18-year old kid and have only had a few rumblings in the back seat with Mary Jane we all know what passion is; it is something that comes from your lover, a true emotion and caring that is expressed in a kiss or an especially romantic involvement that is felt by BOTH sides.  Sure, lots of the guys that travel to Thialand get carried away [especialy first-timers] and are 100% sure that "she loves me, I know it, and she tells me all the time".  Sure, but is that guy the only one she is telling that to? Or even if she is only saying it to one guy, is she saying it because she really feels it or because he is a good meal ticket and the easy way out of the bar scene that they all seek?

         Passion is the real key.....you will know it when the girl is with you, and if there are any doubts to the sincerity of the girl when you are spending time with her,then get the hell outta there ASAP.  By the way...... this is a very hard word to translate into Thai.....I have explained it to at least 5 Thai ladyboys and they still have no idea what I meant.  But again, it shouldn't have to be explained or translated, it is either there or it isn't in any language.

[PigDogg]

Well, I can't figure out Thai ladyboys but I'm not going to get deeply involved with an American girl unless the passion is there.

There's a few Thai ladyboys that seem to genuinely enjoy being with me and seem to be nice girls. I notice how they interact with other people and it's tough to be faking bring jai dee day after day. Lots of these girls are nicer than me at any rate.

[Randyman]

and some great "B" movie actresses at that.

rm

[Guest]

a few Thai ladyboys that seem to genuinely enjoy being with me and seem to be nice girls.  I notice how they interact with other people and it's tough to be faking bring jai dee day after day

yes, of course this is the case; as I have always said, 99% of these people I have met inthis gig are nice people and have kind hearts and could never hurt a fly.  the other 1%.....you don't wanna know about them, trust me.

           But when it comes right down to actual "love", I have seen more one-way street relationships than anything, where the guy feels in his heart of hearts that "this is the one and only girl for me" and the girl is thinking "ya, Sam   is OK but as soon as his cash runs out or someone better comes along I am out the door".  That guy should be able to sense that right away and not let his dick and heart get carried away, as soon as he feels a lack of passion from the girl.  No passion, no true love, despite her assurances to the contrary; even the best actresses can talk a good talk but can not fake sincere feelings of love.

          PD, I am with you.... like you  lots of girls treat me very nicely and I appreciate that and like to see those girls again and it's all good when we are together.   But I think I have gotten to the point in my life when I can tell the real thing from just some ladyboy being nice to me and in 5 years of doing this I have only felt that from a handful of girls.  I just want the new guys to go into these affairs with eyes wide open lest they regret it later.   for that I believe the key word is passion; if you don't feel it for real, get the hell out before it's too late.

[Guest]

the number one rule still applies to ladyboys as with tg's.MONEY NUMBER ONE.:laugh:

[PigDogg]

So how are we farangs going to get real passion from ladyboys half our age. Are we better off finding passion with a woman back home maybe 7-10 younger? Or having relationships with ladyboy hotties that don't really love us? Or just fifty new hotties a year? Then eventually go back home for a 50 year old hottie when we're 67? And hope we didn't get AIDS in the meantime?

I really don't know but am trying to figure out what to do with my love life. If moving to the LOS will give me hot sex but no love is that enough? Maybe!

[fancylighters]

JD, I humbly disagree.

The true measure of love is not passion.  That's what primes the pump, gets the juices flowing, etc.

The true measure of love is something gentler. It's when you hold her/his/whatever's hand and can think about spending your live with him/her/whatever.  It's when you look forward to waking up next to the person, when you see the person in the morning and he/she's not as glam as the night b4.  When you go to buy furniture, and think "just like my parents did."

I think that's the problem with trying to have a long term relationship with (most) lb's.  It's (usually) all about passion, and nothing more.  Can you really, honestly, imagine yourself with one when he/she's 40 years old, or older?  Can you really?  No, I don't think so.

LB's are a fantasy to most guys.  We dream about spending our lives with them. But come on, how many guy/lb relationships have U seen that have lasted 5 years, let alone a decade or longer?  I've seen none.  I bet u haven't either.

Enought of this shit about LT relationships.  I define long term as something more than 3 years.  I haven't seen any, and I don't think you'll see many/and either.  

So let's get back to dominate/lesbian/submissive ladyboys, femme, big dicked, or otherwise.  Let's get real.  It's what we all want.

[Guest]

So let's get back to dominate/lesbian/submissive ladyboys, femme, big dicked, or otherwise.  Let's get real.  It's what we all want.

right on!! tell it like it is, fancy

for us 'travellers' who can not be there full-time this is EXACTLY what we want, which girl is going to give us the most bang for the buck [literally!]. and those are the ones who get the call back. I suppose I started this thread as a warning to the new guys who rarely go to Thailand or have been there once or twice and think they have found "true love". It is probably not as true as you think and if you think even just a little bit that she is not sincere or loving you as much as you love her, get out.

again, let your brain lead you and not the dick or the heart

[Guest]

So how are we farangs going to get real passion from ladyboys half our age.  

It is very rare, PD.....   I found ONE girl this year, after trying about 30, who gave me back what I was giving to her and I could feel it; when we were together it was like the 4th of July every time and she felt it as well.  when a girl is kissing you back and you are making out for like 15 minutes and she doesn't want to stop, to me that is passion and she wants to be in my bed as much as I want her to be there; most 'hookers' who are on the clock would make a move after 4 or 5 minutes of kissing and get right down to business so she could get back to work or go home.  With {X} I never got that; she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her so I saw her more than anyone else this year.

            there is another very popular girl on this website who I courted in December after we did photos together [ sorry, no names on these girls lest I get a ton of shit coming back my way]. I liked her a lot and wanted to see her frequently and I did, perhaps trying to start a relationship;  but after 6 or 7  dates I could tell that nothing was coming back to me from her.  again, I am not stupid and can feel passion when it is there [or not], and from her I was just getting the 'going through the motions' feelings and that doesn't cut it for me, I would rather just butterfly.  When we ended it in  January she was sad and told me so; she said she wanted to keep seeing me but her actions did not match her words at all.  I tried to explain "passion" to her but as I say it is not easily translated into Thai; she just said that "yes, I feel that for you" but saying it and really feeling it are 2 entirely different things.

       I am not trying to be corny here; I enjoy butterflying very much and when I am on the road I see as many girls as I can. But when in BKK for long stretches I like having one girl who gives back the feelings to me that I have for her, and in 5 years of doing this I have only met a handful who sincerely do that. When you meet someone like that she is a 'keeper'.

[PigDogg]

 I tried to explain "passion" to her but as I say it is not easily translated into Thai; she just said that "yes, I feel that for you" but saying it and really feeling it are 2 entirely different things.

Iheear you JD. I was trying to explain the passion thing to my last American girlfriend. She wanted to get married, but I said passion comes before marriage, she said there was passion but our actions did not match the words.

[jellybean]

I think it is something more fundamental than passion that is going to make or break an LT relationship and that is TRUST.

Trust is the foundation to any relationship. If you can't trust someone, then you're kidding yourself if you think you love them. Maybe this is why so few LB/whore-monger relations work - we don't trust them because we think they are only after our money and they don't trust us because they know we are whore-mongers and will probably go chasing the next cute peice of ass we see.

So let's take a stepback and look at these two sides Points of View a minute are they unreasonable. Firstly,us, the whore-mongers, is it unreasonable for them not to trust us? My first thoughts are NO because lets face it, these girls know our true colours, they know we are whore-mongers. Think back to your other relationships with non-working girls - how many of you have listed whore-mongering as one of your interests or when answering the "how many partners?" question have you truthfully answered them  "380....but 375 of those were paid for so they don't really count"

Secondly, lets think about them, are we right not to trust them because their only in it for the money? Undoubtedly, money plays  a part in it, but is this any diferent from anyone else in the world, In any relationship we all assess what a potential partner can provide for us:- friendship, status, loyalty, security, etc. The only thing that varies in the significance we attach to each of them depending on our own needs and our potential partner's ability to provide.
- Friendship - Now in my (limited) experience with LB's your average LB is not lacking in friends.
- Status - As a Farang lives outside of the the Thai class system we cannot provide them with status, although within the LB community having a Farang boyfriend would probably bring some status with her peers.
- Loyalty - What's the likelihood they will be around in 5, 10, 15 years time, well from their perspective we covered this one above. But from ours, we are talking about somebody who is likely to have 100+ partners a year, and will they stray if we are not around or if they need money....there is cause for doubt there as well.
- Security  - Invariably in a Thai/Farang relationship the Farang is usually significantly  more finacially secure.

So, given then that security is the only thing we can really provide for an LB, is it surprising money plays a significant role in an Thai/Farang relationship? - I don't think so.

Where am I going with this? I think what I'm trying to say is that, sure, the cards are stacked against you for a successful relationship,especially as you are both starting from a position of mutual mis-trust. The first step in building a successful relationship is to overcome this and to do this requires commitment and work from both of you to earn and KEEP the trust of the other you both need to work on the loyalty front and she needs to work on convincing you that she is not going to run out on you along with the money

[Guest]

the cards are stacked against you for a successful relationship,especially as you are both starting from a position of mutual mis-trust.

well-put, Jellybean...... both sides look at one another with a bit of a jaded eye and rightfully so;  these ladyboys must see all westerners as butterflies so why should they trust us?  we look at them as hookers [at least the ones who work in bar] so why should we trust them?  makes it hard to have a relationship when you can't even get out of the starting blocks, eh?  I really don't blame ladyboys for being weary of us either;  after all, how many guys have you seen with 40-year old ladyboys? or even 30- year olds?  They know as soon as they get a bit of mileage on them the guys will trade them in for a younger model, they have seen it all the time.

   Now, if you can get that far and you begin to like a person and even trust them and love them, I think that is where the passion part comes in [or doesn't as may be the case].  Passion is something the girl can not fake; she may say I love you, I trust you, I want to spend my future with you, but if she can't even put her true feelings into the time you spend together now, it will probbaly never come.

   quick story.....a ladyboy I know was being  spoiled by a western guy [duhhh, like that never happens].  anyway, she wanted no part of this guy who was more than 30 years older than her but she couldn't break it off because he was giving her thousands of dollars in gifts and over 40,000 baht a month; if she dumped him she would lose all that.  But after about 6 months of non-stop gifts and operations and cash, she had had enough and wanted out but couldn't bring herself to tell the poor dude; she kept asking me "how can I get out of this; how can I make him dump ME?"  she said she was doing everything including giving him the cold shoulder in bed and barely talking to him, but he still felt like it was true love at least in his mind and didn't want to leave her.  

    Bottom line; this guy wasn't smart enough to see that there was no passion there and indeed no love and didn't figure it out till he had wasted over a million baht and had no girl to show for it. I hope the new guys don't let this happen to them and they should be able to  truely gauge their lovers' reactions and attitudes and true feelings when they are intimate together, and not just what she is saying  or writing to them.