Ladyboy 'relationships'? Yeah or Nay?

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Most of us reading this have probably thought about whether or not a long lasting relationship with a ladyboy would work for them.

It's a great topic for conversation online and in bars.

There are those that think it would be insane to stick with vanilla when there are more and more flavours being invented every day.

Others would think that it's daft simply because of the differences in culture, language and other variables.

Others take the view that - having tried all the flavours there are (or are likely to be) - it's time to just lick on one of them!

Many readers have resisted posting on this forum because they haven't ever been to Thailand or had an experience with an Asian ladyboy. Here's your chance to at least vote...

My own story is that I came to Thailand after meeting someone online and stayed with her for a long time. I occasionally strayed but tried to make it work like I would a relationship with a GG from back home.

Back then I was a VERY different person... but my desire and quest for the perfect ladyboy for a long term relationship has always been my guiding light.

I spent the last decade or so trying everything and eventually struck gold.

From the day I saw my current girlfriend I knew my life would change. (I had to convince her, of course! That was the hard part!)

That was two and a half years ago. And YES - I met her in a bar! And YES we have had our share of arguments - although nothing too threatening to the relationship.

The truth is that our relationship meant that we both had to change if we want it to continue and last.

I always chastise people who insist that "I'm me and I'll never change so take me for what I am!" A relationship will never last if one of the partners thinks like this. I learned this the hard way a long time ago.

These days there are many more relationships between Western men and Asian ladyboys than there ever were in the past. More talked about and more going on behind closed doors.

So where do YOU fit in to the equation?

Share your thoughts and stories here...

Doing so will help us all figure out ourselves and our relationships with Asian ladyboys...


(This thread will be moved to
the VIP section after 20 posts!)

[transcebu]

I'm another that is in a relationship and has primarily been in relationships rather than going the butterfly or p4p route.

I can certainly understand the temptation to butterfly, try out the various sizes, shapes, styles, personalities and so on, but there are pros and cons. Hence I don't begrudge those who choose that path.

I discuss some of them here: http://transoriented.com/why-see....148

That site is aimed primarily at those in or seeking serious relationships. I must say I'm glad to see that more in this forum have become less skeptical and knee-jerkish about the Mills and Boon crowd, as we have been called.

Relationships with SE Asia transwomen certainly aren't easy, and most warnings are quite apt, but it can be done and I've met several happy couples and I'm sure there are many more out there.

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Why Seek a Serious Relationship with a Transwoman?

As this website states an interest in promoting serious relationships between transoriented men and transwomen, it is necessary that we attempt provide a reasonable argument in defense of long term relationships over living one€™s life through a series of short term, primarily sexual encounters.

The first point is this; that sexual satisfaction is but the basest of human satisfactions and that from a relationship a great many other satisfactions emerge. Feelings of appreciation, trust, sharing experiences to name a few, but most importantly, the forming of a deep intellectual and emotional connection.

When a member of a happy couple passes, the remaining partner does not cry for the lost sexual satisfaction the relationship offered, what bound them and made them happy together was a connection far more substantial than the superficiality of sexual relations. I believe, that a life which offers at it€™s most intimate moments, only fragments of sexual joy, is a relatively empty world in terms of emotional satisfaction.

Point two; that a happy relationship is the cornerstone of a life€™s experience, and that what helps to ensure that that cornerstone is a loving and satisfying one, is finding a partner that truly fits with the needs you want to satisfy. To live in denial of seeking what truly attracts you, and by not allowing such a relationship to be build with considerable effort, is to deny oneself the opportunity to live a life in a truly happy relationship.

Point three; I believe that for a man, heart is drawn to where the eyes see beauty. If one isn€™t in awe of their partners beauty, then they emotional connection is not likely to be strong. So one must follow their attraction, if they are to feel passionate love. This may appear to be superficial, but keep in mind that tastes vary considerably. A man doesn€™t need to find the world most attractive person to be intensely attracted, they just need to find the type of person that reflects beautifully in their mind. It€™s no secret that heterosexual men, while the might gasp at the beauty of girls in the magazines, can and often do go gaga over girls who by comparison, in the eyes of most, appear relatively plain. It€™s that capacity to adore, that enables a man to progress in stages of relationship satisfaction, should the pair find compatibility and if they have the character required to build a strong and happy relationship.

Anyone who says love is easy is either a fool or a god. When love finds us, we better be prepared for a tough ride...

...but it€™s the best ride in town.

      Well said!  

[Bumpa STIKKA]

Why Seek a Serious Relationship with a Transwoman?

If you are seeking a long term relationship and you intend that relationship to be a monogamous one then your partner must be sexually compatible with you... for a long time!

When I was a younger man foolishly betting on the GGs I often blamed myself for the relationship getting boring in the bedroom.

I was a late bloomer so I had no idea that there was such a thing as a totally fulfilling and long lasting sexual relationship with just one person. I just kept lurching from one GG relationship to another until each woman got too boring to fuck sober.

I thought that it was a brand new woman that would get the fires burning again. I thought this for many years... decades even.

But I was wrong. Living under a deathly cloud of pig ignorance!

I thought my first LB GF was 'the one'... but she was the first, so that's why!

Thus came a decade of searching every type and style of transgendered person that Thailand had to offer. Working out every fantasy and dream I had ever had... scientifically mongering the country in search of  the dream ladyboy...

The rest is history biology!  

[Torurot]

Maybe. If it happens, it happens.

I think the question is more

" 'relationships'? Yeah or Nay? " Some people are just not going to have a long term relationship no matter who the other person in the relationship is.

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows it's not about sex. There is more to any relationship than sex. Long term relationships don't have sex EVERY day. There has to be something else (as well as).

[transcebu]

I just kept lurching from one GG relationship to another until each woman got too boring to fuck sober.

I thought that it was a brand new woman that would get the fires burning again. I thought this for many years... decades even.

Ditto! And same with with my first lb gf, but it takes more than finding oneself with the right species / gender type to make her the 'right' one.

I think the question is more

" 'relationships'? Yeah or Nay? " Some people are just not going to have a long term relationship no matter who the other person in the relationship is.

True, some want it more than others and some are more ready than others.

And certainly, there are many obstacles to dissuade guys from attempting serious relationships with lbs. Distance, social acceptance, age, socioeconomic and cultural factors and so on. Those may require a great amount of perseverance and dedication, as for those who aren't sure they're ready for that, it's probably best to not promise too much and just go on enjoying friendly sex until you are sure you're ready for such a commitment.

[johnnydiver]

As all the members know, in May of last year I came home after the most incredible time with Nicole from Cocktails and Dreams Bar. Did I go to Thailand to find a relationship? The simple answer is hell no! I was on my newbie adventure ready to shag every Ladyboy that tickled my fancy! I was doing really well, Pat, Seya, Peng, Eye Pink, all from Cocktails and Dreams bar! A new one every night. Then Nicole came along. Well you have read the great time I had with all of the girls but Nicole, well we just clicked. Now I write this from the snow covered tundra that is also known as Chicago in the winter! The funny, strange, weird thing about this trip is the prospective change I have had since my return. I find myself on this site several times a day reading all of the posts and trying to add something good without, as Farangbah puts it, allowing my "exnewburance" to show to often. The real problem is that along with a prospective shift that I have had comes the strong pull to move to the LOS for my retirement. Nicole was my first "relationship," and even though it was p4p, it was something I will never forget! Now, I wonder if I could have a relationship with a Ladyboy. I must admit that I am a romantic at heart but still I realize the problems involved with such a thought. Still, I find myself back on this site looking at all of the pictures and reading all of the posts. I wonder if I could make a go of it in Thailand if I did have someone I trusted by my side and this is where the questions really start. Could a you trust a p4p girl that you met in a bar? Marko and Richard have said yes and the time I spent with Nicole would lead me to believe that also. But the only way that you can find out is to move there. That is the rub. You cannot expect to be able to have a long distance relationship, you have to move there if you are truely interested in finding your Ladyboy "soulmate." Most of us are not willing to make that scrafice and so we vacation in this paradise and then go home. Now, I am at a point in my life where I could retire in Thailand but I am interested in more than just retirement. As I am only 54 I feel that I would not retire there but start a new chapter in my life. And this is where I come full circle because I realize that I am only thinking about moving to Thailand because of a possible relationship with a Ladyboy that I find while living there. So, now I find myself looking at guest houses with a bar to buy. I would rather purchase something outright than lease. Then the thought is where to live. I met several expats that are living my dream and I wonder is this my flight of fancy or is the pull of the LOS and the possibility of meeting a Ladyboy that will be compatable with me and I her. I have set a two year deadline to make those decisions and in the mean time I will visit Thailand and look for opportunities that fit my skill set. I know this post has rambled alot and I am sorry about that as it seems that I was writing from a stream of thought of the problems I have to overcome to turn fantasy into reality! Still, I miss Nicole and think of her daily. I tried to spend my time with her totally outside of the bar to get an idea of her day to day life and came away with the conclusion that she is diffenently a keeper for who ever captures her heart. Me. I know that there a lot of other suitors for her affections and I am just part of the pack at the moment but, if I do move there, maybe ...

[Bumpa STIKKA]

That's a great post, JD.

One thing I've mentioned is that I 'thought' my first love would be my last one!

That didn't pan out.

It took many years of trial and error to (hopefully) get it right! It also took a monumental change of worlds for both of us!

My personal view is that Titian has been intoxicated by his lust for one LB and will soon find that the P4P scene is a game of charades! I hope I'm wrong!

But there are simply thousands of non P4P ladyboys in every town in Thailand. THAT'S the place to start looking!

[ALASKAN BEAR]

ok i will jump in here guy's

i have a girl friend's in phuket BUT
i fail in to love in pattaya with a GG her name is jib.
what i like to ask is now what she is a GG not a ladyboy.
i am not a lawyer what do i need to do next ??

[Guest]

 



For me a combination of two answers clarifies my situation right now

I'll stick with the GGs for relationships because Ladyboys are for sexual purposes ONLY!

[strocube]

I don't know, I voted "if It happens it happens," but after the few days I spent with Nookie, I started having all kinds of feelings and ideas about how easily it would've been to fall hopelessly in love with this creature. As some else here mentioned, "we clicked." It was very intense, for me anyway.
My plan is to see if I can't arrange my life so that I'm living at least most of the year in Thailand. This may take a while, though.

[f0xxee]

2 years so far and still going strong. Its not without it's ups and downs, same as any relationship, but to be honest I just can't get into sports fucking anymore.

[manarak]

I think I would allow it as long as it remains fun and convenient.

But I am not willing to change much - tried that already, it only ends in depression.
So I would rather let the relationship go rather than go against my nature - after all there are plenty of other fish in the sea and I fulfilled my reproductive duty to mankind already...

But my instincts continue to tell me I should impregnate as many women as possible.
I'm kinda glad I can fool my instincts by using rubbers and by shagging LBs!

[Bumpa STIKKA]

(strocube @ Mar. 02 2011,02:49) I voted "if It happens it happens," but...

That's how I was... till it happened!

[PigDogg]

(johnnydiver @ Mar. 01 2011,04:17) The funny, strange, weird thing about this trip is the prospective change I have had since my return.  I find myself on this site several times a day reading all of the posts and trying to add something good without, as Farangbah puts it, allowing my "exnewburance" to show to often.  The real problem is that along with a prospective shift that I have had comes the strong pull to move to the LOS for my retirement.

Sounds exactly like me just a few years ago!

Results of the poll and especially the comments are quite a surprise. Perhaps just five years ago FMs would have a completely different set of responses.