"Up to you" (The endless realm of possibilities!)

[tomscam]

(azza33 @ Mar. 26 2010,18:37)

White discrimination - you live in a western country, you can afford to pay more  

By any chance will you have to lodge a $10000 bond if you sponsor her into oz?

Nah mate I don't have to pay a $10,000 bond for her to come here but I do have to guarantee that she won't end up on Christmas Island as I think the government is getting sick of those type of "visitors".

[Chinaman]

(tomscam @ Mar. 26 2010,15:39) Chinaman, it is an LB that...

Edited for brevity!

Well, as I said, I was simply a bit confused and prob also too lazy to re-read every post to get to the bottom of who said what ;-( but you clarified it now - I appreciate that.

I also think that as this thread developed you became more certain of your decisions and if this is yr plan and goal, good 4 u and by all means go ahead and give it a try.

I personally think that putting your thoughts up on this board, not only brought back some comments and hopefully useful advice but by writing and reading yr own thoughts on this and explaining yr reasons in reply to others' comments, has perhaps sharpened yr senses and helped you develop this idea into a working one as it seems.

Good luck and as u have a plan B up yr sleeve and are well aware that all this involves a certain risk of failing, you should be alright.

Thanks for sharing yr thoughts and it would be nice to hear about further positive developments.

Cheers
CM

[pacman]

Tom. You are lucky to have found someone that you feel so strongly about & I think I speak for all of us when I say that you must give this the old college try.

To hell with the naysayers, they won't be there in 10 years time when you fall apart from your lack of action. Carpe Diem, my friend.

You can afford to follow your heart, you aren't tied down, you have considered the alternatives & you can always cut & run if this doesn't work & go back to your old life.

So it isn't goodbye to the civilisation of Oz, it is hello to a new life in a new land with your new lady.

I envy you. Now move decisively & take the lead here. No 20 yo, unworldly Thai is going to risk telling you where & when. If she feels the same way about you, she will be delighted to know she is wanted & you are taking care of everything.

Understand you are playing your part in fulfilling every young Thai girl's dream. You are her farang in shining armour who has arrived to take her out of her present circumstance.

Only those from the 1st world get to make life changing decisions based on love. Her friends will be analysing everything you say & do but they may not be drawing the right conclusions. This will help explain any reluctance on her part. Once she knows you are committed, things will go better.

For sixpence I would swap places with you. Now get on with it.

[Chinaman]

(pacman @ Mar. 26 2010,17:07) For sixpence I would swap places with you.

Including being 29 again. ;-)

[guydesavoy]

(pacman @ Mar. 26 2010,17:07) Understand you are playing your part in fulfilling every young Thai girl's dream. You are her farang in shining armour who has arrived to take her out of her present circumstance.

Not sure about that bit paccie...shades of Ronald Reagan

[daveduke007]

(Chinaman @ Mar. 26 2010,11:50)

(pacman @ Mar. 26 2010,17:07) For sixpence I would swap places with you.

Including being 29 again. ;-)

[Bumpa STIKKA]

I wish you luck.

One further point regarding the 'up to you' situation...

A long distance relationship is easy for her. She can lead her life normally and send you messages every now and then.

If you plan on moving to Thailand to be with her it may scare her off for good!

Here's what MIGHT happen...

For the last few weeks you have been in contact almost daily... she's breathlessly excited and been looking for apartments for you both to move into.

A week before you come she'll have gotten a bit harder to get in touch with, but when you do it'll be great. Very reassuring for you.

You arrive at the airport and you're met by her room mate. That's strange...

She explains that your beloved has some family duties to take care of. You call her but there's no answer.

You crash in the hotel and the next day set about calling her but she's still unobtainable. You have an uneasy feeling in your gut now.

Within three days you're in Nana fishing for ladyboys like the rest of us and you're wondering how you could have been taken in so completely and with such apparent casual ease on her part.

Welcome to Thailand. This is what happens every day!

Good luck with your plan - I hope it works out for you!

[guydesavoy]

Such a dark vision

[JaiDee]

Maybe so,  but the only poster in this otherwise-too-rosy thread [besides stewart and whore, who has nothing to apologize for] who lays out the most likely version of moving to thailand to be with a person they have known for all of 3 weeks!

 I thought this thread was a wind-up when I first glanced over it,  but then realized that Tom has been reading here since 2007;  nothing has been learned in all that time man??   And no one wants to even consider that being a young buck of 29 that Tom may quickly sicken of his new tee-ruc once he hits the ground; after all, now living in a place which is adult disneyland and with LB's just as cute on every corner and cosmetic counter and with him probably horny as hell, why stay with one girl?  If it only takes 3 weeks to fall that deeply in love, that's 17 more girls the first year alone!


  As usual the cynic here along with Stew, methinks we  should be helping this young guy by encouraging him to indeed to move to Thailand if that's what he wants to do, for sure;  but not because of a 20 year old girl who is probably more indecisive than a squirrel {'Up to you' is a big hint here, no?}, but for himself and his own future!

        Davey ''mentions''  his ''girlfriend''    and that he ''chats' with ''her''   every ''night'' after she ''leaves''  work ;  but ''doesn't''  mention   that ''he''  will spend 2 ''weeks'' of a ''4-week'' vacation  with her, ''before'' going ''down''  to "fuck'' and ''be fucked'' by 6 or 7 other "ladyboys" in Pattaya   "before''  flying ''back'' to the   ; if  you like Tom so much Dave, let him know that may likely be the case with him also, and how your last trip went; AFTER you saw your beloved.


  I hate to be the one to throw the cold water on this lovely thread and as usual I have to play the role of the bad guy here, but it seems we should only be laying out the truth for this guy;  not encouraging him to chase a dream of spending the rest of his days with someone just 2 years out of high school in a foreign country, where she is probably more interested in local guys who speak her own language, as well as  her and her own family's future a helluva lot more than she may love this kid from down under.  We are discussing this kids' LIFE here, and you all just casually say "go for it'' as if he is just doubling down on a pair of aces in a card game.

Haven't we all been discussing this very topic for almost a whole decade here now? The ones who have tried to buck the trend, from Bricktop and PogueMahone to Chompoo's husband to ....well, every single other guy?.....always, and I mean 99.99% of the time, fail.

[spare wheel]

I would love to move to Thailand also, but not for a gg or lb, just because i love the place and untill i can afford to looks like i will be working my butt off here in uk untill my luck comes in.
Done the relationship bit, even considered moving up country to the family home, but after 2 yrs and around 12 trips to be with her i found its the place i love and not the girl.
it is what everyone says, adult disney land and untill i can give up work and switch places i have to treat it that way.

by the way BS i loved your pics and Olay looked great, im sure she is the envy of all her friends. good stuff

SW

[whore]

(guydesavoy @ Mar. 26 2010,22:06) Such a dark vision  

I thought he was going to say, "fishing in Nana.....and you see her dancing on stage in cascade".

[JaiDee]

In my honest and humble opinion after following years of this stuff, there are 2 types - and really ONLY 2 types - who get the most out of chasing skirt in Thailand, either ladies or ladyboys;  those who just move there and get it over with, and those who can only go there for a few weeks or months per year and then go back to where they belong........and promptly put the place out of their minds!

  First type, and the guys whom the readers here are all jealous of  like Snick and Bumpa Stikka, Ivor and Pig Dogg, etc....... are any and all of the guys who have moved there permanently, and others who read here want the same thing BADLY.  

      Great idea, it's a cool place to live, but going about it in some half-ass, hurried way or because of a girl or a ladyboy is a seriously flawed approach to becoming an ex-pat; and you can read that on any message board which deals with moving to Thailand, not just from my cynical rantings.


 Second type; the guys who meet a cute Ladyboy or Lady, fall in love, and then go back to their home countries and dwell 24/7 about "now, how can *I* move there to be with her, or if I can't do that then bring her here to my country''.  They spend numerous hours on MSN or Yahoo chat, reading here and other message boards, webcaming, calling and sending texts to their newly-found sweetheart; in my opinion only drawing out the agony and self-torment between their visits back to the LOS!

       
    Guys like my buddy Bartman, also Masahiko and Stewart and dozens of others who have read here over the years; they understand the game, they play it for a week or 3, go back to where they belong and then DROP IT from their minds! Better for the heart, the wallet, and the mind, and keeps reality in perspective.

[tomscam]

I've read all the responses and am intrigued by the various mix of comments. Some positive and full of encouragement, and others which are full of gloom.

JaiDee, I'm actually surprised you are a doom and gloom kind of guy. I've read posts of yours where you are talking about embracing life and experiencing all that it has to give when you went to that camp in Peru but then turn around and say there's no hope and don't bother. Reminds me a little of Bill Hick's.

Sure there's a significant chance that things won't work out but while they are currently working isn't it better to give it a go and see if it does work than never try and therefore never know? I always thought that winners keep trying and losers give up. Regardless of the result, going to Thailand may open up a realm of possibilities that I never saw coming. Life is to experienced. Moving there doesn't involve me selling a house or supporting any kids because I don't have those responsibilities. My job allows me to move to just about anywhere, so going to LOS wouldn't be detrimental to my career and I'm not going there to retire. Even if I get to LOS and it does all turn to shit I'll still be happy to be there. There are so many possibilities to be explored and when one door closes another opens.

[Rocket J. Squirrel]

Sounds like you have answered your own question quite adequately

[EyeMahk]

I am in Thailand quite often, and have been going for 10 years.  I've gone through the amazement / fascination / fall-in-lub / disillusionment / acceptance / enjoyment phases.  I've survived these phases and now I really enjoy my time there.  Well, I never really didn't enjoy my time there.  Who wouldn't enjoy banging hot Thai LBs and chicks all the time!?!  

Things that have really helped me along the way are a trip to Isaan to see where these girls (and LBs) come from, learning Thai, and seeing many parts of the country other than Bangkok and Pattaya and Phuket.

But the most important thing in getting along in Thailand, in my opinion, is your willingness to understand how Thais think about things, simple and complex.  This is very difficult for a western mind to comprehend.  What is €˜love' to a Thai, what is €˜a lie', and what is €˜respect'?  What is 'a friend'? What do Thais really value? How do they think about tomorrow?  How do they really think about money? What do they think about the concept of €˜sex=love' that is prevalent in western view. When you get past all the bullshit, what makes them happy, what gives them enjoyment?  Not one of these answers is simple and straightforward, and I can only hope to see the tip of the iceberg on them.  (Hint: you won't find the answer to any of these questions by asking a Thai). But it really is a case of (mostly) believing half of what you see and none of what you hear as the absolute truth. Stay here for a few years, and you will know what I am talking about.

If you want to move here, do so, but every day should be a learning experience if you want to make life easier in Thailand. Learn Thai (and not from your long-haired-dictionary)   And for the first few years, DO NOT get yourself into any situation that you cannot easily get out of; like owning anything, making financial commitments, inviting some LB or chick to move in with you (most times, it will be very difficult to get her to leave).

Thailand is a very sad place to be monogamous. Forget about western guilt on such matters, as it will diminish your enjoyment, and you will likely be the only one following "the rules of a relationship" as the western world sees them.

Finally, treat the girl or LB like they really are.  They are Thai, they are not some smaller, cuter version of a western woman, or someone who is something less until she learns western ways. Where there is conflict, then you should act like a Thai person would rather than making your (and her) life more difficult in the long-run by teaching her some fucked-up western concept of how to behave.