Stickman vs. Thai ladyboys...

[SukhumvitRoad]

From Stickman's most recent column posted today:

http://www.stickmanweekly.com/Stickma....oys.htm

My favorite line was, "But Bangkok's ladyboys are much less aggressive and nasty than the beasts who prey on tourists along Pattaya's beach road and in other dark alleys of Sin City." Still, it was a hard call picking just one line.

So many idiotic observations, so little time....

[Stogie]

Stickman Weekly 22/2/2009

Encounters With Thai Ladyboys

He was one of our group, not a gang because we weren't hoodlums, but our group. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the room but he had an engaging way and when he had something to say we would listen. One day he told us that he had a video that we would love to see. A blue movie, we suspected. No, better than that he said. We pressed him for more info but he wouldn't say. We had to go to his place to watch it.

We all walked the same route home together and his was the first house we passed so that day after school, our first year in high school as I recall, we piled into his place. In the rumpus room was a video tape paused and queued up ready to go with those familiar squiggly lines across the screen. We saw that there was an Asian girl's face and we all jeered together! He'd got his grubby mitts on an Asian porno! None of us was interested and I distinctly remember various derogatory comments made about Chinese women. Asian, Chinese, they were all the same to us. The comments were genuine. We lived in a middle class suburb with the highest percentage of English-born immigrants in all of New Zealand. In other words the suburb was white. Probably 95+% white. If she wasn't white, well, we just weren't interested. There were no closet Asian fetishes back then.

He released the pause button and we all went quiet. The TV showed a dark scene with some artificial lighting on an Asian woman who was laying down. The camera panned down and we saw her breasts. We all jeered loudly as if these were the ugliest breasts on the planet! We were still jeering when he started saying something to silence us to no avail. The camera panned further down and the jeers reached a crescendo as we saw that she was in fact a he! The neighbours can't possibly have missed the racket coming from his basement, so loud were we!. We were dumbfounded and shocked at what he had shown us. We didn't want to see any more and we were out of there. He'd shown us an excerpt of the documentary, "Shocking Asia".

It was first time in my life I had heard of a ladyboy.

Sluts with nuts. Chicks with dicks. Katoeys. Transsexuals. Shemales. Ladyboys. There's no shortage of names for them and as visitors know, Thailand is home to many.

I first visited Bangkok in 1997 with a mate and like most first-timers in Bangers we spent a night checking out Patpong. In one bar we were set upon within moments of entering. Before we knew it we had a lady on our laps - and gorgeous they were too. The girl on my lap pulled back her bikini top and invited me to grope her breasts which was all a little much. My refusal to buy her a drink 30 seconds later had her leap off my lap and start pouting. I guess some things never change... The women in that bar were hot and I can remember telling friends back home all about it upon our return. It wasn't until perhaps 18 months later, some time after I had moved to Thailand, that I realised that the bar was exclusively ladyboy. Perhaps the moral of the story is that you should grope when invited because had I had a grope, I would have known that something wasn't quite right!

Some ladyboys are so lady-like that it can be hard to tell and anyone who has spent much time in Bangkok or Pattaya has had a quiet laugh to themselves at the sight of a Westerner with a ladyboy in tow. In fact the very idea for this column came when a friend forwarded me a few ladyboy pics earlier in the week. I would never have known that she was a he had he not told me. It is of course a lot more difficult to pick a ladyboy from a static image for the giveaways are often in their behaviour and in the over-exaggerated way they move and mince about. But with that said, there are plenty of guys who clearly can't tell.

Most ladyboys are clearly that, a boy, yet like I say, there are those who just don't see until it is too late, or those who don't know even after the event. The funniest situation I can remember was many, many years ago and involves an infamous Aussie expat. He used to hold court at his Sukhumvit condo on Sunday afternoons and a bunch of us would pile around, perch in his lounge, drink his liquor and BS about what we'd been up to. They were good times and he was always a generous and gracious host as well as a great storyteller. "Colourful character" doesn't even start to describe him. On this particular afternoon, Khun Sanuk, the webmaster of Thai360.com, and I were the first two at his place and he took us through to his computer room. He was sitting at the computer and we were standing behind him looking at the screen when he opened some photos he had taken of what was clearly a ladyboy - and a rough as guts version at that. He had a square jaw, the body had no curves, there were gigantic, obviously fake breasts and from the moment the picture appeared on the screen it just screamed out "ladyboy!" Khun Sanuk and I exchanged knowing glances but said nothing. "She was gorgeous and had the hottest and hardest body", Blackie growled at us. "Best bj I've ever had!" He couldn't see us because we were standing behind him but we looked at each other in horror. He didn't know...and we never did tell him that he'd been with a bloke!

But perhaps ladyboy love is an Aussie thing? Similar happened to another Aussie friend in Midnite Bar in Cowboy, way back in 1998. It was my first year in Bangkok and I was out with an Aussie who had arrived in Bangkok just a few months before me but who seemed to know his way around. I was the new boy on the block. So there we were in Midnite, me on the Jack Coke and him on plain old Coke for he didn't drink. He was being entertained in the bar by what was clearly a ladyboy but me being the polite Kiwi boy just let him do as he pleased and never said anything. When he told me he was going to barfine her I just sort of figured that I was the new boy on the block and while this was not at all my thing, if they rock his boat then so be it. The next day he called me to say that she was a he and had been thrown out of the apartment at the moment of truth. It was oh so obvious but he clearly didn't realise...

...which all serves to remind me that one of the major differences between the bar scene between now and say a decade ago was that many, many bars had a token ladyboy or two. If you were new to it and they weren't too tall or too obvious then you just wouldn't know. Contrast that with today where bars are generally either all girls or all ladyboys.

But you do have to be careful with the way you handle ladyboys because they have the viciousness of a woman combined with the strength of a man, a potentially dangerous combination. A few years back I wrote about a night out I had with a Kiwi mate. We were making our way along the well-worn path from soi 33 to Soi Cowboy when between Sukhumvit sois 23 and 25 we were approached by a ladyboy. To cut a long story short, she tried to pick my friend's pocket and he ended up punching her. It was a good punch but the ladyboy didn't falter. There was one of him and two of us but with this lot anything is possible...

[Stogie]

While I may waste no opportunity to laugh at others' expense, my foray into internet dating was a total disaster. This is how I described my first ever internet dating experience way back in August, 2000. (If you're a long-term reader of the site you may have read this before.)

A friend of mine has had a lot of luck meeting Thai ladies on the Internet. He has been raving about it as the new, easy way to meet nice ladies. I was free so what better time to start hunting chat rooms.

I got chatting with a few ladies and there was one who really caught my attention. She was chatty and chirpy and not at all the reserved Thai woman. Her name was A, she was 26, worked as a financial consultant and as she had spent time in Australia, her English was very good. We traded photos and the shot she sent me may not have been stunning but was attractive enough. We chatted about various things over a couple of hours and when she said to me that she had the next day off I thought what the hell, I€™ll invite her out. Expecting to get a polite no, I was delighted when she said that she would love to meet. It was set! We exchanged phone numbers and she called me. Ahhh, the sweetness of the Thai female voice, so soft and demure.

The next day and the time is drawing near. So, on with one€™s best threads, out with the decent after shave and Stick is looking as good as he can.

I stride into Siam Center and can€™t see her. No problem, I€™ll take a seat and wait. She can€™t be very far away. I notice a figure moving in my direction and at that moment she waves at me and is shuffling my way. That€™s a funny walk. What€™s going on here? She€™s getting nearer. Something€™s not right. I€™ve got a bad feeling. I know something is terribly wrong. She bounds over in a most confident manner, lacking the usual Thai feminine grace. Something€™s wrong! That walk, those hands, that chest €“ look at the size of it €“ it€™s not real! The hard jawline €“ it€™s a guy! I€™m outta here and with that I made a fast exit.

This creature called me and I swear, I had no idea it was a guy from the phone call €“ the voice was so feminine. And the picture that he sent did not look like a guy at all.

One famous incident of ladyboys being light-fingered occurred at one of the Nanapong dance contests. We're going back many years now so I can't remember the exact details but it went something like this. At this particular dance contest held at the Dollhouse, during one of the intervals between rounds a pot was passed around and the audience was encouraged to donate to help defray the expenses the Nanapong boys personally took on to organise the contest. These dance contests were better than any gogo bar show and punters gave generously with many 500s and 1000s thrown into the pot. Some time after the money had been collected Dollhouse owner Darel's voice could be heard cackling away as he announced that everyone should keep a look out for three ladyboys from a Nana bar who had stolen off with the pot of money, a considerable amount!

Of course much of the bad press Thai ladyboys get comes from the frequent and seemingly never-ending problem of some of their number making unauthorised withdrawals from the pockets of Westerners strolling late at night on Sukhumvit. The problem area used to be around sois 5, 7 and 7/1 but as that prime piece of real estate has become an over-run cluttered mess of late night booze booths and street stalls they have moved down the road and the current black spot is the area outside Robinson's and the Westin. They tend to prey late at night, no doubt aware that the later it is, the more likely their potential victims are intoxicated - and an easier mark.

But Bangkok's ladyboys are much less aggressive and nasty than the beasts who prey on tourists along Pattaya's beach road and in other dark alleys of Sin City. For whatever reason, Pattaya's ladyboys tend to be more aggressive, often hunt in packs and their MO is sometimes more about brutality and overpowering a potential victim than that the light-fingered approach taken by their Bangkok sisters, oops, I mean bothers.

Many readers are no doubt aghast that I have written about ladyboys and this same contingent would be shocked to hear that, yes, these ladyboys really do get plenty of action! In fact there is one particular ladyboy, Emma, who Mrs. Stick once described as "gorgeous", who gets more action than most. Many of the Pattaya forums have naughty boy trip reports in the members area and from time to time I skim over them for a laugh. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Emma, pictured above in her usual position on Walking Street, has featured in more photos, videos, trip reports and other attempts by tourists to establish international relations between Thailand and the West than any Thai woman, real or otherwise. Emma is popular and would seem to be the choice for those keen to experience something new!

In Steven Leather's superb Private Dancer, which is loosely based on various anecdotes the author made in Thailand back in the mid '90s, one of the characters prefers ladyboys and describes how he graduated to them, arguing that they know what a bloke wants more than a woman does. Don't think Steve was using journalistic licence with this, it's quite true. No, it's not true that ladyboys are better in the sack - I mean I would not know - but I've heard this argument from a number of long-term Bangkok residents.

And to add more to that argument, the Western owner of a big-name Pattaya hotel tells me that almost without exception, when customers take a ladyboy to their room, be it knowingly or otherwise, when they eventually come back downstairs it is with a huge grin on their face whereas those who take a lady, the genuine article that is, it is very much hit and miss.

If there's one piece of advice I can give when it comes to transsexuals in Thailand, it is that if you think there is a chance that she is a he, then odds are you're right so unless you are the adventurous type, you might move on.

But don't think I am totally against Thai ladyboys. They make me laugh and can be a laugh. About the only bunch that really bothers me are that lot on Pattaya's beach road but with that said, that's an area I avoid more often these days as people get increasingly desperate as the tough times start to bite.

Thailand without the ladyboys would be like Thailand without the boys in brown letting you off for breaking the traffic laws for an on the spot fine of 100 baht. They're part of the Thailand experience!

For someone who supposedly knows about Thailand he sure writes a lot of shit!

What a wanker!

[CKRISG]

And using Stephen leathers 'Private Dancer a work of pure fiction as a source

[SukhumvitRoad]

(CKRISG @ Feb. 22 2009,20:18) And using Stephen leathers 'Private Dancer a work of pure fiction as a source  

Actually, Steve has frequently said, both publicly and privately, that the book isn't fiction at all, and I do know that he's told Stickman that in particular. Rather, Steve says the book is substantially autobiographical. That seems downright humiliating for him, if you ask me, but since he's obviously not embarrassed about telling everybody all that really happened to him, who am I to call it humiliating?

[electric ladyboyland]

Poor old Stick needs to broaden his horizons.

[andre459]

(Stogie @ Feb. 22 2009,20:05) But perhaps ladyboy love is an Aussie thing? Similar happened to another Aussie friend

...........

polite Kiwi boy just let him do as he pleased and never said anything.

He can't even keep his story straight We're nothing like them sheep shaggers.

Nice piece of fiction, I like how he managed to throw in all the standard cliches.

[Tomcat]

(SukhumvitRoad @ Feb. 22 2009,20:27) Steve has  said that the book isn't fiction at all

Private Dancer
Can someone clear this up. I thought this book was a fiction thriller.  

[jimslim]

What a twat , and he keeps the same old tired line of guys going with ladyboys by mistake .

It always amazes me that knowing look from some idiot who thinks he knows something you don't .

Funny thing I keep making the same mistakes night after night , you'd think I'd learn by now

[Rocket J. Squirrel]

(Stogie @ Feb. 22 2009,19:11)

the Western owner of a big-name Pattaya hotel tells me that almost without exception, when customers take a ladyboy to their room, be it knowingly or otherwise, when they eventually come back downstairs it is with a huge grin on their face whereas those who take a lady, the genuine article that is, it is very much hit and miss.

This has been my experience

I think that there is a very good chance that SM has had an erotic thought or two about Thai ladyboys.

In all fairness, it took me a long time of skirting around the topic before just deciding that this was a world that I enjoy.

"Twat"? maybe. Obviously a guy with more free time to write than me...

[budhas]

Thanks for the Link. I really enjoy that Site.

[Tralala777]

FFS,Stickman writes themed articles for a wide international audience.Often,it's an overview from an expat perspective,a resident helping out those who live in western towns and cities and use his site to keep up-to-date with cultural shifts and social trends.

I thought he handled the subject well......for a professional career bloke who doesn't partake in the scene,it isn't as misdirected as some of the above comments imply.

Just because he doesn't fuck ladyboys doesn't devalue his perspective.He is being honest,and it is a difficult angle for a hetrosexual to approach.At least he isn't judgemental,and there's no Johnny Walker wisdom in his scribblings.

I would guess that most of his readership learned something positive from that article,and in the grander scheme of things it does more good than harm.

[andre459]

But you do have to be careful with the way you handle ladyboys because they have the viciousness of a woman combined with the strength of a man

He got this line wrong it should sexy like a woman horny like a man to quote Stogie.

[kahuna]

I always thought the Snickman was a pretty good guy...

Never did like his T-shirts though...

Live and learn...

[donnnnnny]

(SukhumvitRoad @ Feb. 22 2009,20:27)

(CKRISG @ Feb. 22 2009,20:18) And using Stephen leathers 'Private Dancer a work of pure fiction as a source  

Actually, Steve has frequently said, both publicly and privately, that the book isn't fiction at all, and I do know that he's told Stickman that in particular. Rather, Steve says the book is substantially autobiographical. That seems downright humiliating for him, if you ask me, but since he's obviously not embarrassed about telling everybody all that really happened to him, who am I to call it humiliating?

i thought the clown in the book died , shot by a hit man. An autobigraphy you say????hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm