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“When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
"Inflexibility is the worst human failing. You can learn to check impetuosity, overcome fear with confidence and laziness with discipline. But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote. It carries the seeds of its own destruction." ~ Anton Myrer
QUESTION: I have been seeing this great guy for about two years now. A few months back I stumbled upon some she-male photos on our computer. When I confronted him, he said that it was in response to a "nightmare" he had from watching HBO late at night or something. I asked him to be honest with himself and me. I told him I could be GGG or that we could just be friends if he didn't want to be with a natural woman anymore. He said he wanted to be with me.
Today as I browsed for errant cookies clogging my computer, I found more she-male pics. Is my boyfriend gay? Is there anything I can do to help satisfy him sexually? What can I do emotionally? Is it better to try to maintain the relationship or encourage him to explore his desires? Who can I refer him to? How can I help him?
Guess It Isn't Really Love
ANSWER:
So what's up with the she-male thing? It's like this: Straight boys love tits. Straight boys also love cock. In most cases straight boys are enamored of their own cocks exclusively, and there's nothin' queer about that. But for a tiny minority of straight guys, their love of cock extends to other cocks. This "thing" is most commonly expressed by a taste for "straight" porn that prominently displays cock. Most straight guys who enjoy cock in their porn identify with the other men's cocks, enjoying the thrill of living vicariously through them. But a thin slice of these straight guys actually lust after cock€”but just the dicks, GIIRL, not the dudes. An even thinner slice of this already thin slice of the straight-guy pie actively long for dick€”a dick other than their own€”but they're straight, you see, and they don't want to mess around with an actual dude, just a cock. And that's where she-males come in€”excuse me, cash in. They've got dicks and their dicks aren't attached to dudes. Their dicks are attached to babes, and cock-hungry straight boys will pay them good money for the pleasure of their company.
So is your boyfriend gay? No, he's not. I don't know any gay men who lust after she-males; that obsession is an exclusively straight-identified-male-with-a-hunger-for-cock phenomenon. His she-male obsession technically disqualifies him from the 100-percent-straight category, but it doesn't necessarily make him bi or gay€”just a touch queer. If you're not down with that, well, then DTMFA.
Living here in Bali where we have quite a few beauties, it's amusing to see how many of my "straight" friends start acting 'funny' around ladyboys when they've had a few drinks.
Basically, she thinks she's a woman, I think I'm a man. All is alright on God's green Earth!
- a "straight" guy wants to sleep with beautiful women (pamela anderson etc... *lol*)
- a "gay" guy wants to sleep with other men (freddie mercury, arnold schwarzenegger etc...)
- a "bisexual" guy wants to go to bed with pamela anderson and freddie mercury ....
Is it really that simple ?
I think that all those terms like "straight" and "gay" are just a product of our western society and (catholic) churches. "Straight" is usually a more positive, more respectable term than "gay". This is so for very good reason: When you are "straight", you probably marry a girl and raise children. These children can continue paying taxes, be soldiers, or whatever useful to the authorities.
So most of the ladyboy admirers prefer to consider themselves as "straight", because they still want to fit into their society. In my opinion there are no clear borders between "straight" and "gay", because these terms are just not truth. Sex is just not about labels and not about what authorities want it to be.
Sex is all about attraction, desire and phantasy. And a very individual thing too.
When you take a look at other centuries, you probably do not find these clear labels about sexuality we do have today. In ancient greece for example, having sex with young (feminine?) boys was just a common thing. Would Alexander the Great have considered himself as "gay" person due to the experiences he might have made in this way ?
So i voted, that i like ladyboys, but i am none of the above.
I would consider myself just as a person with a wider range of sexual options and interests than the average guy from kentucky.
If you enjoy sucking cocks, or perhaps being molested by a pretty butt bandit, or sleeping in the arms of someone who was born with the Thai name equivalent of John or Nigel..... you're not straight.
What name one gives it is I don't know, but you, or I, aren't straight. I label myself bi, seems fair.
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