'Barebacking' LB...

[thick81]

A recent experience prompts me to offer a couple of questions for consideration and comment

A LB acquaintance (just met her once before in a social setting, no P4P then or since) was pitching me recently to hook up with her up for some fun

As she has greatly improved her looks since the occasion of our previous meeting, I was quite enthusiastic at the prospect...

... that is, until the conversation turned to her desires for our meeting, to wit:

"...and I REALLY want you to fuck me bareback..."

My first response was "You are kidding, right?" to which she replied

"No, we've met before, and I know you and like you, so why not?"

Suffice to say that any interest in a romp with her was gone in a moment

In reply to her disappointed "...why...?"  I expressed my new lack of interest along these lines:

"...dear, if you are offering 'bareback' to me, I am sure that you have offered it to other guys..."

"...and while I respect your right to do as you wish,  I am not interested in playing with someone who has that kind of history..."

"...please respect my right to do as I wish also..."

"...sorry, thanks, but no thanks..."

Subsequent SMS entreaties to reconsider were - and will continue to be - ignored despite the temptation of what would doubtless be a steaming good time in bed

While I have remained comfortable with this personal choice in the days since, I have taken a few hits within my small circle of 'mongering' friends

Moreover, as this LB is quite popular in the P4P scene, I have struggled with discerning "the right thing to do" in this circumstance

Thus some questions for you -

1. What would you have done if you were in my shoes?

  a) 'Bail out' of a great date (as I did)?

  b) Keep the date (and play with protection despite her request)? or

  c) Give 'bareback' a try (for whatever reason)?

2.  If you were considering a date with this LB and another forum member communicated his knowledge of her sexual preferences to you, would you

  a) be appreciative of the information and reconsider your choice?

  b) tolerate such a communication as well-intentioned but immaterial to your choice of P4P partners? or

  c) tell the other forum member to f--- o--- and mind his own damn business!!!

No wind up here, guys, just looking for a 'reality check', as it were

Additional comments and/or feedback are welcomed

With thanks and best wishes

[sev7en]

I´m worried about you. Fist Suzanna Holms, now barebacking

[negative bastard]

1b
2b

If I liked the ladyboy I'd still shag her but wear a johnny.

If I heard that she likes it BB from a fellow BM then I'd be thankful for his well intentioned advice but have a small doubt as to his motives for telling me and still go ahead with the date... with a johnny.

The fact that she was so open about being speared BB doesn't mean to me that she does it more (or less) than any other girl. I assume they all will and act accordingly.

[thick81]

I´m worried about you. Fist Suzanna Holms, now barebacking

Hehe, thanks for the concern, but it was easy to give the mighty Holms a miss when more sane alternatives were available

Thus I had a very nice time with Kely Wild and Jessica Perez (shame Lina Lemos was not available)

I assume they all will and act accordingly.

At one level, I agree with you in that protection for all activities is a must

Taken to another level, though, I have one small disagreement

Among my TG friends are two renowned LB escorts / porn stars in the USA and Brazil

Both customarily hang up on prospective clients or producers who suggest bareback activities might be on the script

Additionally, the London girls I saw last week were not only OK with protection for all activities (including oral sex) but seemed surprised at my request for same

My impression was that if I had not requested it, they would have insisted on it

Sensible attitudes of hard-core P4P girls notwithstanding, am I being naive in thinking that this attitude is the norm among working LBs?

Curious, and thanks for sharing your thoughts

[Mister Ree]

I've found that in Thailand, at least, there's a definite percentage of girls who are more than ready to play bare. To the point of tossing aside a proffered condom at the moment of truth. I get the impression that some do not want to have a long life. Seems to be mostly younger "semipros". Watch out for this.

[Jaypee]

1b and 2b.

Bareback in Thailand....a wee bit like the movie "deerhunter" in the scene where they play Russian roulette, you never know which one may be "loaded"

[tonio2]

I've done plenty of barebacking in Thailand over the last 20 years both with girls and LB's, no big deal and if both sides consent then so what ?

[rxpharm]

The risks associated with barebacking have been discussed quite vigorously in the past. In the end it is your choice to accept the risk or not.

thick81, I would say you made a good decision in this circumstance. Another option would have been to suggest both of you under HIV testing, and repeat in 3 months - as long as both of your were not active in that period, it would have been relatively safe to bareback - but of course being celibate for 3 months is no easy thing - and you cannot be sure about your partner being celibate during that time.

Sorry, I forgot to answer your questions:

1 a)
2 a)

and I agree this is a good discussion topic.

[Lefty]

1b, since there is some risk involved, to varying degrees, with sex with anyone who works in P4P scene.

2a, because I think it is ok for us who know each other, especially those whom we have met and hung out with, to share any type of potentially useful info amongst us. After that it is up to the person receiving the info to do with it what he thinks best

Thanks for a very informative post my friend.

[EyeMahk]

I would guess that if you lumped the LBs into two groups:

1) Those that have bareback sex with boyfriends (or customers)
2) Those that always use protection

Group 1 will far outnumber Group 2. The only thing you can do it play safe and hope for no accidents with someone who might be infected with something.

[Ivor Biggun]

I think it depends on the person and how well you know them. Personally I would rubber up unless it was someone I knew very well and even then I'd have 2nd thoughts. But on the other hand confuese the senses!

[pacman]

Just a comment, I thought it might be enlightening on my last visit to see how far I would be allowed to go without a condom -

a little test to see how vigilant the girls were...

about 2 out of many in a month's holiday actually made any sort of fuss & tried to stop me.

I asked the others why they were so careless,

"nobody like" was the reason I was given.

It seems there are a few destined to become HIV+, a damn pity because they were all lovely & I wouldn't wish it on any of them.

[allstar88]

not worth the risk

[manarak]

1b
2a

reason: they can do what they want, but I'm not taking the risk, and since I treat all my p4p acquaintances as if they were HIV+, there is no difference for me.

To the ones I like and who appear to be clever enough to understand, I try to explain.

[sev7en]

(manarak @ Oct. 13 2008,23:45) I treat all my p4p acquaintances as if they were HIV+

You must have a fun sex life!!