Fulltime relationships with LBs

[Guest]

In my search to recontact with Nat via this forum a question was posed to me about my relationship with her. This question reminded me of the interest guys had with my fulltime relationship with Nat when we were together. Actually they were just interested in the fact I chose to be with an LB fulltime and not so much that it was Nat.

I thought I would start a thread and hopefully others can provide their experiences as well.

To me 80% of it is the same as being with a GG. First you need to click with each other and have things in common. Otherwise those afternoons will be long and boring. I found that I coule spend hours just talking. Nat and I have a commonality in our love for animals, fine food, travel, and snorkelling. Actually she loved the snorkelling - I just loved the excuse for her to wear a bikini

The downside to a fulltime relationship with an LB is the society issues. Run ins with hotel security, the looks of the restaurant staff when we walk in, comments from jerks who think I do not know she is an LB. Back before curfews the place to be at 2am was the little bar/coffee shop at the corner opposite King's Castle. The LBs would put a show on walking the streets. Nat and I would sit there, and chat with friends. Sometimes a good LB fight would breakout or the police would provide a chase scene for your amusement. One night this guy comes over to my table to chat. We drinking beer while Nat is on the street chatting with friends. He says - "you know you are about to go to bed with one of the most beautiful men you have ever met?" I just looked at him and smiled. I laughed and said - "I know". He got disgusted and left.

Point being is if all you know is to walk in the bar grab the girl and go back to your room. Then you really need to think about the issues that will pop up outside the bar. Unless you plan on staying in your flat for the rest of your life!

Simple things such as eating are not so simple. I know the restaurant staff worry about how this bar girl will act and usually the next time in they are cool. I guess I would say make sure she knows how to act outside the bar. Especially when it comes to dressing. That sexy outfit she was wearing in the bar will not do in a restaurant outside of Patpong.

Actually this made me think of blonde Natalie. Nat and I were in the Italian restaurant in Patpong (not sure if it is still there). Nat calls Natalie as she needed to give her something. 20 minutes later Natalie comes walking in with her purse pressed against her chest. I asked what was up? When she sat down she quickly revealed this see through blouse and those gorgeous tits of hers.

See that is what I am talking about. Natalie understood she was dressed for the bar and not going to a restaurant.

I guess the last issue I had was the sex. With a GG you can get the urge and say now. With an LB there is the "ok but let me go douch first". Which the thought of that can easily reduce the urge - if you know what I mean. None of this means I regretted the two years with her. We clicked and it was great.

I would like to hear from others if their fulltime experiences were similar? And to ensure no one misunderstands - I am not preaching. There are many guys way more experienced than I am. Probably 80% on this forum.

[Ladyboy_Loser!]

Mine has been ongoing for 16 months and counting. Before I met her I was the typical butterfly man. I had tried to have long term relationships with two LB'S but those flamed out big time. My fault as I was not prepared to accept certain things.
With my ongoing I find some of the same issues that you mentioned to apply in our case. It helps in my case that she looks very feminine and conducts herself in like manner. One issue we sometimes have is her desire to dress very sexy when we go out in the daytime. Being sexy is one thing, looking slutty is quite another. I just ask her if she would wear that particular outfit around her Mama. If she says she would not then I ask her to do the same for me. Her English skills are improving on a daily basis and she asks me to explain what I mean when she has trouble undertanding me. Because I am still living in America until I sell my home and make the move I know it is very important to show her that I am indeed serious about a long lasting relationship with her. I have upped my holidays with her to four or fives times a year since we hooked up. I call her everyday, yes she does call me but I do not answer and then just call her back so that she does not have to waste money. I have gone to her home to meet her family and pay my respects to them. I have gone through the engagement ceremony with her and in November we marry. Yeah, I know, not official and certainly not legal in Thai law. The fuck if I care, this is going to be her day, she wants to be always thought of as a lady and I intend to make her dream a reality. I want her, her family, her friends to recognize us as a couple and a family together.
In the 16 months we have been together there have times when each of us has had problem with the other. That is normal in any relationship, it's how you deal with that will determine if it is going to work out for both of you. In my case I am the one that has to adapt more, I am the one going to move to Thailand, I am the one whose life will change the most. There is nothing like a good challenge at this stage of my life. Am I up to it, you bet, is she worth every effort I am putting into this relationship, that's an easy answer and very obvious. Am I guaranteed 100% success? Death is the thing that is 100% but I like my chances with my "sweetie."
That's my story, I did the butterfly thing, I made big mistakes, I learned from them, I found someone very special to me and I am working like hell to make it a success. Trying to have a long term relationship WILL NOT work, in my opinion, unless you move to Thailand, adjust your thinking about some things and accept the fact the you will never be Thai. Above all, be fucking flexible and not so god-damn anal. I rest my case.

[post-op lover]

Best of luck to you, PogueMahone.

[stogie bear]

Trying to have a long term relationship WILL NOT work, in my opinion, unless you move to Thailand, adjust your thinking about some things and accept the fact the you will never be Thai. Above all, be fucking flexible and not so god-damn anal. I rest my case.

About the only truth you need to know.

As for Simons post - I have never had anything like the experiences that he has had. My own life with ladyboys has been almost totally different!

(I've never even been snorkelling!)

[PigDogg]

(Jim @ Apr. 08 2006,22:54) I found that I coule spend hours just talking.

My teerak's English is not very good, so my challenge is to connect non-verbally other than horizontally. Will be with her almost 24/7 for a month next trip so we'll see how it goes. Much of everyday converstion is often meaningless, so in some ways it's refreshing to have nothing to say.

It seems to me that she's more tactile than verbal, so we might take a three day foot massage course at Wat Po. I'd like to check it out and think it might be good for her. I sense she might like working as a foot masseuse.

I traveled with a few ladyboys and I forget they're ladyboys. Other travelers will notice that I'm with a young Thai but I don't think it registers that to them that I'm with a ladyboy. But i don't even get the "he's a pig vibe" so much of it may be in our own heads.

Even die hard butterflys can enjoy short trips with lbs or bargirls. A couple nights on Ko Samet can be lots of fun.

[PigDogg]

(stogie bear @ Apr. 09 2006,03:54) (I've never even been snorkelling!)  

snorkeling is a great thing to do with ladyboys who don't mind getting there hair wet. it's a great shared experience that doesn't need to be talked about. thailand doesn't seem to have great coral but it's good enough.

[stogie bear]

Much of everyday converstion is often meaningless, so in some ways it's refreshing to have nothing to say.

I agree. Some of us are placing too much thought on trying to find ways to get along. Some times less is more (fulfilling!) I never talked to my wives or white skanks about the subtlety of the 'run on short and third' and I have no interest in talking about 'world affairs' with anyone. If you can sit in silence with your girl and NOT feel like you have to do anything then don't because you are with someone that matters.

A couple nights on Ko Samet can be lots of fun.

I disagree with that. Koh Samet is an over priced shit-hole.

[PigDogg]

I don't want to hijack this thread and turn it into a Samet one, but Stogie's right, lodging is very overpriced there.  It's not worth going to stay in a shithole and there are many shitholes.  so u gotta spend the extra bucks and stay in a nicer place.

vong duong beach, where stogie stayed (i think) has no acceptable lodging, yet 1000 baht is about as cheap as it gets on that beach.  in pattaya, i'm just as happy in a 500 baht place as a 3000 baht place.  samet is different.  

but it's a tropical island with virtually no cars and thumbs up in my book.    

[terryw]

I can't say that I have ever had a problem when travelling around LOS with my girl although the locals are well aware that she is a ladyboy.

Maybe we never have problems because she runs her own business and is very independent. She would rather die than being being seen within a mile of Patpong or NEP. She has a fabulous pair of legs but refuses to wear a short skirt.

Last year she spent several weeks in the UK. She can get a visa because she is a travel agent. For the first time in her life she was in an environment where nobody knew that she was a ladyboy. After her initial surprise she began to realise that beside the money there are other advantages to having a long term relationship with a farang.

Its a bit early yet to consider tying the knot but her dream is to have a home in the UK and a home in LOS. Maybe after my next visit in May she will convince me that her dream can become reality.

On balance having a long term relationship with a ladyboy gives you a few unusual problems. I just regard these as a challenge that can bring you closer together.

[snejana_demientrovska]

lets put love out of the topic in here
i speak for my own expereince

i only have 2 boyfriends in my life and 2 of them are foreinghers and the rest of them are just sex partners, one night stands and fling flings

rule: if local people see a filipina dating a forienghner specially white even if its young and has the same age gap with a girl is titled as prostitute

the first one was quite complicated for me cause i was involve in a third party which i dont have any idea at all but the good thing is we spend so many good times when we are together and we develop such special feelings with each other it was like a fairy tale come true to me...........well im a very showy person and im a very affectionate even in public well we kiss each other on the day time even infront of all the people while walking in the mall and i sometimes touch his privates while seating in the bar or in the mall........which is not a normal thing for the filipino people but still he loves to do it and i love to do it also well in that case there is no problem with the both of us only when her girlfriend knows that we are having a relationship and end up into something that is not good well he was sent back in his place cause the girl has a contact on his parents and send some of those private pics that we made .... which terrifies the guy's family and the girl did anything just for the guy to leave philippines cause the girl was so furious and jelous that he coudnt let the guy be with me all the time so then we end up in a long distance relationship and only internet is the thing that connects the both of us.....until time when the guy was tired of sending me an email and he was just gone in a snap which is so heartbreaking for me

and then comes the second guy although i cant say that its a relationship for me but we do have a good bonding maybe i can label him as fucking friend.....well no money involve in this relationship and i cant even say that its an escort thing i was with him for the whole 4 weeks. well the only thing if we mention finances well he treat me dinner,shopping buy me gifts and island trips, expenses on clubbing which he is responsible of. but it doesnt mean he is doing it as a payment for sex and companionship cause i was enjoying every bit of him especially in sex where i love doing it with him 24/7 when he was with me in the philippines i still do the same thing as boyfriend number 1. public display of affection which he also love doing it to me infront of all the people we go out in the clubss all the time and he loves seeing me dancing in the dance floor specially when i get the buzz. there was this time when we went to a beach 3 hours from the city and its a tourist spot but still a sub urban place it was those times when we went to a certain bar and have a drink it was a boring place and full of old germans whom i think who is already in exhile in the philippines suddenly one german guy approach us and whisper to my BF and i already know what is said "that girl your dating with is a guy" my boyfriend was a bit drunk and suddenly burst out into flame and wanted to fight with the guy i was so panicked that i cant do anything cause it explode into a big fight scene in the bar between those 2 guys and i was really ashamed after the bar owner stop them both well i we suddenly head to the cottage and try to calm him down well he was saying to me that "bloody bastard who the hell is he, its none of his business , why dont he mind his own business" he told me that he doesnt want people to mind his business cause he would burst into flame if someone mess in his way, specially if they people become sarcastic and tell him whom he is dating with some sort of issue about sexuality and all those stuff and he even get insulted when someone mock me while walking in the streets..... that is why i realize that i dont want to go out with him often specially when we go out to those place where there are lots of uneducated locals who are very confident in making fun of me or just even be friendly to me cause if he sees it, he would see it as a sarcasicm well it would loose his temper and i realize he is so sensitive on it that what i did when we went out in the island together to get rid of chaos which is a good idea specially if we dont live on that place and he is also a forieghner we dont know what will happen for the both of us......well i can say i didnt like the thing he did cause it was shameful but since he was defending me i feel like a real woman on such situation

well both of this guys sees me for who i am as we are together for 24/7 and talking about dress code well they sees me dressing not like a bar girl but a very outrageous fashionable woman who sometimes wear something that is out of this world and put a lot of character base on what i wear but not pornographic. specially if i go out with them in the bar i could be the head turner which is far from how a real woman dress up which is why lots of people sees me as a ladyboy specially if i dance in the clubss or disco which is sometimes i clear up the dance floor cause i dance so outrageously... not to mention the public display of affection and touching my BF's dick in public when i get the buzz. but they are ok with it and they also love it when i play such game

i dont know what is there reaction for me if i would be a good girlfriend material for them. cause on the other side of such outrageous attitude that ive got im also sweet to them and we could get along with each other and i must admit im really fun to be with and also give a good conversation....
the way i realize it nothing will get tired under my roof

i dont know about you guys

but what can you say if i was your girlfriend do you think im a heaven or hell? am i qualified as a girlfriend material?

[Road Runner]

(terryw @ Apr. 08 2006,22:47) For the first time in her life she was in an environment where nobody knew that she was a ladyboy.

Hello Terryw,

I had to smile at that comment        Herself came to the UK for the first time late last year.

That was one thing she found (she never said) but I could tell it was a sort of boost to her because her self confidence increased noticeably while she was here.     She also liked that fact that it was easy to find shoes that fit  

On balance having a long term relationship with a ladyboy gives you a few unusual problems. I just regard these as a challenge that can bring you closer together.

Luckily I've found we have pretty much the same  -  twisted  -  sense of humour  -  that helps.


Like Terryw and his lady we've never had any problems from the local's in Thailand.  The only comment we ever got was from two arseholes (British    ) who had to comment on the street in Bangkok.  
What they failed to realise is that all they did was to cause the locals to look down on them as impolite.  Thai society is like Victorian Britain  -  everyone knows what is going on  -  but it's not polite to talk about it  -  especially in public.


I have a prepared line if anyone is ever dumb enough to try to point out to me that the beautiful girl I am lucky to be with is  'really a guy!'     -    and your point is?


RR.

[PigDogg]

(Road Runner @ Apr. 09 2006,06:28) I have a prepared line if anyone is ever dumb enough to try to point out to me that the beautiful girl I am lucky to be with is  'really a guy!'  

No one's ever told me that...............................yet.

My reaction probably would depend on thye energy behind their remarks. If I thought that they were really trying to helpful thinking I was a cluless newbie, then what the hell, they're trying to be nice.

But it seems that in most cases their "help" tends to be mean spirited.

[Guest]

Sorry let me clarify. The Thais always knew Nat was an LB as she is very tall, but they never gave me any problem. Maybe problem was too strong of a word. It was always the looks which you get use to.

With the restaurant staff it would be the looks, but this would have been true even if I walked in with a bar GG. Now people are people no matter what part of the world you are in. When Nat started wearing Dior and Cartier then the looks went away. It is a pity that people tend to treat you nicer if they THINK you have money. I always hate close-minded fools.

The problems came from the farang who had to educate me.

Stogie - just tell her to put on a bikini and pretend you are snorkeling!

[PigDogg]

(Jim @ Apr. 09 2006,06:40) close-minded fools.

A close minded person is a fool by definition.

I think when we expect to get treated well, we tend to get treated well.

I don't mean "expect" as a demand or entitlement or an attitude of my shit doesn't stink. Rather, when we trully feel good about ourselves, so much so that we don't waste energy being defensive, good things tend to happen.

[stogie bear]

This is an interesting thread. I know I harp on too much about the value of living here, but if everyone on this forum did live here then these threads would not even be written!

I'm beginning to think that some visitors are over sensitive and are reading more into a situation than they should be doing.

When I'm with my friends who are also with their ladyboy partners these issues are never discussed. Many times we've been to bars and restaurants or out playing pool etc, and nothing out of the ordinary or even remotely upsetting has ever happened.

In most walks of life in Thailand you quickly get used to being simply a part of the wonderful and enriched scenery that is Thailand.

There may be isolated incidents involving tourists who are drunk and have their own sexuality issues, ladyboys still have (some) professional handicaps if they are not 100% passable.

But all of these problems are down to the choices that they make and NOT the sorry disadvantages in their lives.

If you are sensitive to other peoples glares then why on earth hang out at noisy over priced beer bars till 4 in the morning?

I know a wonderful (and classy) quiet bar in Thong Lor where I take Gif once a week to play pool and just relax. We are a part of the scenery there. It's about the only place we can go without her being gorped at!

Don't get me wrong - I love watching men drool over her (Thai & farang!) but it's nice to be alone and live a simple life for the most part!

I wish more people reading this forum who DON'T date bargirls would step up to the plate and start sharing their stories. It get's a bit wearing to always hear about people who are fooling themselves into thinking that they have got it made with a girl they met in a bar that they see twice a year!

We do have a few out there that I kknow of and have even met as a result of this forum. David Duke and Road Runner are probably the most frequent posters of the bunch, but I know there are others there lurking who have had normal relationships with NON bar girls...

Come out, come out wherever you are!