But, do they really like us?

[dummy_plug]

Should we be surprised at the 'Thai' way of thinking? Their apparent distrust of foreigners, celebration of their culture and way of life as being the 'best', and looking upon people of their own ethnicity as somewhat 'higher' than those of other descent are not uniquely Thai or even that different of ideas!

These notions have been around all over the world, even in Western societies even as recently as the mid-20th century (think Nazi Germany, present day Israel, and even (gasp!) the USA in the early 1900s+). I'm sure someone will debate my examples - granted they are imperfect and don't exactly match the Thai scenario 100% - but my point still remains.

Frankly, I could give a shit about being Thai. If the fact that I'm not Thai is the biggest hang-up in the relationship I'm in, then I think that not being Thai will be the least of your worries!

[Bit Beefy]

(kahuna @ Jun. 11 2006,12:20)

(Mai-Kee @ Jun. 09 2006,16:10) So true and also good old Stickman writes sometimes true words.

Wasn't you Big Beefy...it was Mai-Kee I was referencing...

No Worries Sir

[Mai-Kee]

(JaiDee @ Jun. 10 2006,18:09) "she does not love me and now it's  'later'".  

Yeah....it's always later!!! Hahaha.....

[Guest]

Well, ya.....all you need is a little patience, MK!

   Hang out with a girl......get attached to her and get feelings for her, and let her get attached to you because you are a good guy and you take her places and spend money on her,  but not have true feelings for you..... then, if you are very lucky down the road she MAY love you.  

      I don't like the Thai way of forming long-term relationships if this is the case and won't even bother trying, I want to know that a person cares for me as early as possible lest I get burned  later.

 I guess I am just funny that way!

[stogie bear]

It worked for me. I fell in love with Kui about 3 months before she fell for me! Despite our poverty and my lack of prospects at the time she still went ahead and fell in love - but it wasn't something she rushed into. It was worth the wait though!

[Guest]

as I say, that is the .1%

 or, perhaps you have more accounts of other successful love stories to prove me wrong in this thread?

 anyone?  Now is the time.....Thai ladyboys with falangs only please, that's what the thread is about

[dummy_plug]

Not to get off-topic too much, but do you think that forming relationships with Thai ladyboys is significantly different than with Thai GGs? The only reason why I bring this up is that you said 'Thai ladyboys with farangs only'. I think there might be other members who have had relationships with Thai girls that might provide some insight as well.

[Guest]

I know of one very successful couple, and the guy is a sometime-forum reader and very nice guy from the states. You know him Stogie, Ozzie also.....I think he posts here as tokyo21, we all met for drinks a couple times and he was a really cool guy. He met a Thai girl a few years ago and they are married now, have a baby also......also a house in the country in Thailand and I believe a place in the states as well...... so good for them. Also lets not forget Blueballz.... he found a nice lady and settled down as well and has a nice place in BKK now.

Haven't really heard about too many others to be honest....... these 2 are guys I have actually met and they are nice guys, also somewhat into ladyboys but like ladies more and each found a nice lady to make his wife.

[Guest]

my buddy Oaktoad as well, who used to run the Questionable Girls of Thailand yahoo group....... he lives with but is not married to a Thai woman in BKK, for about 5 years now.....seems to be another good relationship, and like the other guys he likes to dabble with the LB's from time to time

[stogie bear]

(JaiDee @ Jun. 11 2006,19:36) as I say, that is the .1%

Well - I don't think so. I'd bet that if anything it is the farangs who fall in love first and ask questions later.

Anyone in a similar situation to mine 4 years ago might find this information useful...

Our relationship had three distinctive phases...

1 - I fell for her. It was so easy - she was 19, a beautiful and sexy-looking ladyboy and my first ever experience with transsexual.

2 - A few months later after moving in and setting up house with me and re-starting school she fell in love with me. In the time before that she was nice to me and let me do what I wanted but there was no real feeling of love.

She had been burned before and wasn't going to jump uin again with both feet...

3 - The third stage was when she had her boob implants, came off hormones and discovered sex! That was fantastic! Now we loved each other, had been through some ups and downs and now she was as horny as hell and as strog as a flagpole!

It was domestic bliss for over two yeara!

I'll bet this sequence of events isn't unusual either.

I'm sorry that my experiences are at odds with what you want to believe but there it is! That's how it all happened for me!

Now with Gif things happened a little faster... She's a bargirl so I didn't want to fall for her and I still haven't. She wanted out and wants a guy to pay for it. That guy isn't me, but for some reason she still likes hanging around with me.

Maybe it's because of what we went through during her SRS and maybe she needs to escape the rat-ho;e of her hole in the wall apartment. Maybe she just likes me! Who knows...

The thread is about whether or not "they" like us... The answer is simpel... if you are a nice guy they will like you. If you are a twat they will use you!

That's my last word on this thread - so you can have it back now!

[dummy_plug]

If you are nice guy they will like you and if you are a twat they will use you? I've gotten the general feeling that they'll use you, regardless of how you are!

[stogie bear]

Only prostitutes. But in the real world things are different!

[Guest]

well, that's a nice explanation and everything, but it still doesn't explain why not one person on this whole forum can come up with an example of a ladyboy-falang relationship which has ever actually lasted. Even the example I chose, yourself and Kui, ended eventually but it was probably the longest one I have ever seen. So...... the % is actually.....zero? at least in my 6 years of following this scene.

If it's as easy as you say here the number of 'success' stories would surely be higher; or at least, like, one?

[dummy_plug]

Not sure, but let me throw out an idea as to why it might be difficult to find LB-farang relationships that have lasting power. As far as I know, ladyboys don't have the legal ability to get married - even in Thailand?

I believe marriage has been an important social adhesive for relationships between a man and a woman for a long time. If you stop and think about it, getting married is really just a symbolic gesture. Its a 30-minute ceremony and a legal document at the end of the day, and if you look past that, getting married really doesn't change the core of a relationship in any meaningful form.

However, its the perception of 'we're married now' that I believe changes the way a man and woman view their relationship. Yes, at the core, nothing has changed but the fact that they are now married makes them do things that they might not ordinarily do in a dating-relationship. It probably drives people to work harder at sustaining the relationships, despite differences or arguments, and gives people an added incentive to make things work. I have the feeling that I know plenty of married people that continue to stay in their relationships, perhaps foolishly, because of the sole fact they are married and that the idea of going through a divorce gives them motivation to try harder to make the relationship work.

This leads to my next point. Immigration. Quite simply, a number of Thai women would love to leave Thailand and move to farangland. Yeah, we've all heard that Thais love their country, but there's a reason why you have a billion Thai mail order bride and personals websites around. A Thai girl has a reasonable chance to find a farang men who will marry her, bring her back to his country, and get her citizenship and a life she could only dream of having. This perhaps motivates Thai women to be more accomodating, at least at first, to making a relationship with a Western man work. Its been mentioned before that this will never work for a ladyboy.

Another factor I might add is children. As men and women start families and have children, the presence of offspring is undoubtedly one major reason why a man and woman stay together (although this may be becoming less prevalent in Western societies). However, due to the fact that ladyboys and their partners don't have to worry about this then there is one less incentive to stick together.

[Guest]

all good points, D_P....... these marriage vows seem to somehow 'change' people who may be otherwise less-committed were they just dating. And along those lines, since ladyboys can't marry legally [or have children] maybe just dating isn't enough to sustain a real relationship.

again, who knows, and I don't want to beat a dead horse and I know I am driving ol' Stogie Bear crazy these past few days....he is surely saying "man, this forum was much more quiet when this guy wasn't around"....... but it just seems very rare to see westerners make it last with Thai ladyboys.