But, do they really like us?

[Bit Beefy]

What happened to the days of loving a brother with a bus pass?

[Guest]

(stogie bear @ Jun. 11 2006,03:03) Yikes! I hope you are half joking!

no, not half-joking but perhaps a bit facetious and generalizing...... basically I am addressing that post to the guys who think that sending a girl X amount of money every month or buying them the latest Gucci bag will make that girl "Love" them.....so, if it is true love from her end just stop sending, stop spending and then see if she still hangs around with you.

 if she does, than she is probably not with you for the cash, right?

[Bit Beefy]

They what would she do for £$£$£

[PigDogg]

I'm going to test the waters a bit.

For the past few trips I've been seeing more and more of one ladyboy (not the one some of you met in Bangkok). This trip I'm going to spend four weeks with her and see how it works out.

If it works out real well and if I move to Thailand in '07, I'll see if she wants to live with me without my big vacation bucks although I'll be able to support her living a very modest lifestyle.

Maybe she'll want me, maybe not.
Maybe I'll want her, maybe not.

For me, at this stage of my life, I'm open to a relationship that works for me and my partner. Afew years ago, a relationship, especially with a Thai ladyboy, is the last thing I wanted.

Btw-I treat her well when in Thailand but have never sent money.

[kahuna]

(JaiDee @ Jun. 08 2006,20:14) Kahuna....please don't be put off by this topic..... if you have a GF  that makes you feel like you are the only man in the world that's great and if she works in a cabaret that is even better, she may be the real deal and not even a working girl.....just be prepared that  there COULD be hurt feelings from your end some day.  I have been in this job for about 6 years now; total number of Falang-Ladyboy relationships I have seen go for more than 2 years in that time span?  Zero......sorry, the odds are stacked againts ye.


 

JaiDee...I'm not put off by this topic at all...I believe most everything that the experienced guys are telling us. I fully realize that this is all an illusion...but my point is I like the illusion.

I'm not foolish enough to think that after 4 days (albeit wonderful days) that this girl is in love with me or me with her, but I am in love with the fantasy....And I don't think that there is anything wrong with that...

On the other hand, I believe that the girls, expecially an older one like Nong, have experienced this type of "relationship" more than once and must also know just how fragile it is. I would also think that most know that they can be cloned in an instant.

I don't expect this fling to last more than one more trip and then I'll move on to a new one.

In truth, I don't envy the guys that have one or two different girls a day. That's just not my style. I'm an
old romantic.

And on that note, someone posted a reference to Stickman's site and erroneously stated that Stickman can't be wrong. Stickman didn't author that piece; however, the author claims that romantic love is a disease that can be cured by medication. Now that
should be a frightening thought to all of us.

[Guest]

Good for you, PD and I hope it works out for you, really...... we are around the same age and probably ready to settle down, or should be anyway! But you are taking the necessary first step; moving there in 2007. Again, without that most relationships are doomed to failure.

Earlier on someone said they were envious of Nick and Ning-Nongs relationship; I agreed that I was as well. I think by the time I am ready to live there full time I will be about his age and can hopefully find someone like he has, and I hope you can make it work with your GF as well. Good luck, moving there is the key first step for sure.

[Bit Beefy]

And on that note, someone posted a reference to Stickman's site and erroneously stated that Stickman can't be wrong. Stickman didn't author that piece;

What did i miss Who said anything about Stickman being right or wrong Certainly not me me who posted the reference it was written by some fella called Korski...

[Guest]

(kahuna @ Jun. 11 2006,05:48) In truth, I don't envy the guys that have one or two different girls a day.  That's just not my style.

Those guys are called "butterflies"

{JaiDee, not one of them }

[stogie bear]

basically I am addressing that post to the guys who think that sending a girl X amount of money every month or buying them the latest Gucci bag will make that girl "Love" them

Don't waste your breath on those idiots, Jai Dee! It's one thing to send small gifts from abroad or to over-indulge the girls when you are here.

It's quite another to send large monthly payments AND believe that your girl is waiting patiently for you to scrape together enough time off to see her again... maybe!

But time after time you and I both see this happening!

They'll get it eventually but there's nothing you and I can say that will save these fools from the heartache they will be enduring! They just have to learn it the hard way!

And if you are reading this and either trying to extradite a girl to your home country, or sending her in excess of 20K a month or calling her up and she is saying the noise in the background is her brother and his mates then you are a fucking stupid mug!

But it's your money so piss it away for all I care!

Love and kisses...

Stogie Bear!

[kahuna]

(Mai-Kee @ Jun. 09 2006,16:10) So true and also good old Stickman writes sometimes true words.

Wasn't you Big Beefy...it was Mai-Kee I was referencing...

[Guest]

Sobering thoughts eh.......! Big question and no simple answers me thinks.

What I do know after 10 years is this for what it is worth ;

a) Thai people are really friendly and genuinely accommodating and want to engage with these strange foreigners (FARANG) who smell different, who behave different and who eat different etc....Humans are after all social animals right and they want to learn something about us ? ( Know your enemy etc.. is what the cynic says in me but I do desperately try to believe that thais are genuine and certainly for me they are the most friendliest people i have ever met on this planet and i do travel far and wide)

b) Remember we are FARANG and will never be thai, accepted as thais or respected like thai citizens for all the tom yam in the entire kingdom !!!!! This might also mean we can never be loved to the same extent or on the same level as love excists between 2 thai people ?

c) I believe simply that thai people TOLERATE us as for now it suits them and there countries needs. We are afterall the uninvited guests to the Kingdom but we do bring certain benefits the thai people need currently.

d) As mentioned before thai people are deeply deeply patriotic and love there country , there king and there way of life with a burning, all consuming passion almost !! I'm sure those vets out there have heard the survey carried out on a cohort of thai people who were asked if you had the money were on holiday would you go ? 99.9% responded they would travel somewhere within Thailand !! Also, another example. A thai man is being assaulted by a farang after an argument. Regardless if the thai man is right or wrong 15 or 20 thais both men or women would spring into action in a second to protect that thai man from the farang. Ok, there is good and bad in all people and sure bad shit happens between thais but my main point here is that when you live in thai society you find that generally thai people are very polite to eachother and almost revere eachother. There is many many a time were I have witnessed generosity and genuine concern for neighbours but even thai strangers from out of town welcomed and venerated. This almost never happens in my country unfortunately but not only that but Old people here are constantly robbed and abused - In thailand this is certainly unheard of and would be abhorrent to any thai person !!! Thais really do care for eachother and generally want and desire to help eachother in any capacity !!

e) When you spend enough time in Thailand you begin slowly to understand that being thai is an extremely priviledged position to be in even if you have some bad karma or are of a lower social standing within thai society ! You are still lucky and of course you have the opportunity to redeem yourself in your life time. Thais therefore will ALWAYS love and respect other thais without exception before ever contemplating there feelings towards a particular farang period. It's a 90/10 call in favour of love for a thai IMHO.

f) Once you understand you can never be thai, that however good looking you are or rich you are or slim you are you are still farang ! Given the choice I am certain that any thai person gg or ladyboy would choose a relatively wealthy thai or hard working thai with potential to earn over us any day !!! Those guys out there who are deluding yourself with airs of western grandeur be aware ! All your money or your supposed good looks or your western status don't amount to a pile of buffalo shit in thailand I assure you and I know many suckers out there who have lost literally millions who just go on proving this simple point - thai rak thai!!!!!!! Why do you think the thais are SMILING so much

My final statements - and it is only advice not a judgement or critism is as a famous philosopher once proclaimed,

"All I know is that I know nothing".

Love with thais ? Best ask Buddha na ? Most thai ladyboys that I have been with believe that in a previous life they were bad and commited bad deeds hence being born katoey. They believe they will never find genuine love or that they deserve it if it comes there way. They must pay penance to Buddha in the hope of being born again in a higher status. By all means Brocklanders and Co. do go to the temple to help your ladyboy gain more karma credits. Whether she will LOVE you for it is difficult to answer !!!!! My question is what chance have we got then if that is the mindset of most if not all ladyboys from a young age - the near impossibility of them securing true love

Mai pen rai. Another samsong kap. Afterall, If it don't make dollars it don't make sense period !!

Good luck fellas.....

[Guest]

(breakermorant @ Jun. 11 2006,06:38) b)  Remember we are FARANG and will never be thai, accepted as thais or respected like thai citizens for all the tom yam in the entire kingdom !!!!! This might also mean we can never be loved to the same extent or on the same level as love excists between 2 thai people ?



e)  When you spend enough time in Thailand you begin slowly to understand that being thai is an extremely priviledged position to be in even if you have some bad karma or are of a lower social standing within thai society ! You are still lucky and of course you have the opportunity to redeem yourself in your life time.  Thais therefore will ALWAYS love and respect other thais without exception before ever contemplating there feelings towards a particular farang period.  It's a 90/10 call in favour of love for a thai IMHO.

wow, excellent post here Breaker...... these 2 paragraphs......I have read about this phenomenon often..... I have even read some from very streetwise falangs that "even the lowest form of Thai person possible such as a Bangkok street begger is more important to a Thai than is the falang, any falang; because he is Thai".

I am believing your post, and I believe it fits in with my theory that we can not get genuine love from these people; but my theory was more well-defined to a demographic of older, perhaps middle-aged western men while this one is more broad-ranging. It says that NO westerner has a chance of really winning a Thai's heart no matter what!

Pretty strong words, and I am happy that this thread has brought out some very good feelings from the readers here, for either side of this arguement.

[stogie bear]

I agree... Great post Breaker...

Those guys out there who are deluding yourself with airs of western grandeur be aware ! All your money or your supposed good looks or your western status don't amount to a pile of buffalo shit in thailand - thai rak thai!

How true...

Most thai ladyboys that I have been with believe that in a previous life they were bad and commited bad deeds hence being born katoey. They believe they will never find genuine love or that they deserve it if it comes there way.

This has also been my experience talking to Thai ladyboys that I have gotten close to.

[Guest]

(JaiDee @ Jun. 10 2006,19:23)

(breakermorant @ Jun. 11 2006,06:38) b) Remember we are FARANG and will never be thai, accepted as thais or respected like thai citizens for all the tom yam in the entire kingdom !!!!! This might also mean we can never be loved to the same extent or on the same level as love excists between 2 thai people ?



e) When you spend enough time in Thailand you begin slowly to understand that being thai is an extremely priviledged position to be in even if you have some bad karma or are of a lower social standing within thai society ! You are still lucky and of course you have the opportunity to redeem yourself in your life time. Thais therefore will ALWAYS love and respect other thais without exception before ever contemplating there feelings towards a particular farang period. It's a 90/10 call in favour of love for a thai IMHO.

wow, excellent post here Breaker...... these 2 paragraphs......I have read about this phenomenon often..... I have even read some from very streetwise falangs that "even the lowest form of Thai person possible such as a Bangkok street begger is more important to a Thai than is the falang, any falang; because he is Thai".

I am believing your post, and I believe it fits in with my theory that we can not get genuine love from these people; but my theory was more well-defined to a demographic of older, perhaps middle-aged western men while this one is more broad-ranging. It says that NO westerner has a chance of really winning a Thai's heart no matter what!

Pretty strong words, and I am happy that this thread has brought out some very good feelings from the readers here, for either side of this arguement.

Is this somehow connected with why Japanese tourists seem to get better treatment/service? (I'm reaching, but just a thought.)

Ronin

[stogie bear]

Japanese tourists get more attention simply because (it is assumed - usually correctly) they have more money to dish out.