But, do they really like us?

[donnnnnny]

jai dee
 Strange thing happened to me on the way to the office.
I agree with alot of what you  say ., but  Thai people  do like westoners , but  you do need to  be away  from the bar sceen. language is the  biggest difficulty  and that object alone usually  ends  most so called relationships.The Thais, as road runner   rightly says are very parochial. so there for  everything thai is no1.Nearly all Thai  whores have a Thai boyfriend  lurking in the back ground. and for what ever reason they are there. same reason i guess that western women seem to like nasty fuckers who use and abuse them, they keep going back for more.
I have been traveling to thailand for years  and have always been a  butterfly. in my younger days i  was handsome  fit and  used to get thai girls  throwing them  selfs at me constantly. Having said that they were thai bar  girls,  there for the money.
I have also had   a few thai  girls  here in australia, my  feelings are mixed  one was a complete and utter  cunt , the other a lovely  wonderfull  friend and lover.she  genuinly loved me  but i was not  ready to committe, I am not a rich guy  and she new this , as she lived with me and used to kiss mee good buy every morning as id  trudge of to work  laying roof tiles. We had a good relationship because we could communicate , and also she was away from all the familly pressures.
I  for one  have never thought  women are particularly interested in how  you look(with in reason)  in general they are more interested in personality ,  this includes  Thai  girls ladyboys etc Blokes who say yes all the time will enevitably get nowhere.
sure when there teenagers, thais are the same as westoners  with hormones  raging  out of  control  they want  slim   guys with loads of  cock. (i'm now 49  still have hair  not to bad on the eyes) personality is the key , shit bar girls will go with you if you pay the bar fine but you probibly wont have much of a time with them. where as if you have a laugh and make them happy , you will deffinatly get a better time in bed and out
I  have never really looked for  relationships with  someone i  pay for sex, i am there to have fun but it is allways nice if its mutual at the time .
Thats one of the big  problems  in Thailand  for the so called strait  non working girls. As  most falangs have whore girlfriends  a strait non working girl will find it  difficult to  go out  with you, as she will  be seen  bye here  peers  as a hooker.I know it as i have dated thai office girls and ladyboys, and they openly  tell you   not good for me  falang have   prostitue  girl friend," if i go with you i look like prostitute".
There are so many factors involved in this  question" Do they like us". yes they do  , money is the biggest factor(like with all weston  non hookers) they sell them selfs to the highest bidders, but in alot of cases there is genuine attraction. MOney of course is a big factor in all relationships and i believe that its natural for women or ladyboys(who want to be women) to go where the nest is well feathered.
Just my 2 penneth worth

[SamplerDoc]

Great Thread....

Does it matter if they love us or like us or just use us for money or sex?

We are doing the same correct?

I am a big whore so, I am sure I do the same as many of them....

[Guest]

Everything JaiDee said is right. But we are very lucky to get to travel to Thailand and have great hard core sex with girls and Ladyboys half or age or in my case more than half my age. Also the country of Thailand is a great place ,for the most part the people are very nice and by western standard most everything is very inexpensive. If you have not been there just get on a plane and go.

[Guest]

(Road Runner @ Jun. 07 2006,13:43) Many of the girls have been hurt by Thai guys - but they still look to them as they come from their own country. The Thais are very parochial - look it up in a dictionary!

Against this it is true that some of the girls do look for a father figure (or sugar daddy). Does this lead to love - 'up to you'

RR.

I'm tracking this topic!!

Road Runner,

Do you mean to say "patriarchal"? No offence or being picky, just trying to understand.

Thanks,

Ronin

[Guest]

(stogie bear @ Jun. 08 2006,05:04) But only in Thailand are such 'GFE' demands made on the girl.
Everywhere else in the world the arrangement is a 'sex only' deal!

I also do that in Malaysia and the Philippines!

I'm not looking for true love there. Zhey are playing the game well and I have a good time, that's usually all and makes everyone happy. Investing too many feelings there might only cause pain.

[tampanugget_2001]

Since this thread seems destined for the academia folder I thought I would add my two cents worth. I think most of the thai (and you may insert almost any third world county here) girls/ladyboys become prostitutes out of ecconomic necessity. I remember from another recent thread reading about some poor ladyboy's room (described as a hovel) with only a futon on the floor, and this room was several steps up from what she shared with her parents in Issan.

Forgive the over-analyzation here (but I guess I had too many Psych classes in college), but I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory can provide insight. These ladies often have to struggle to meet their basic needs for food/shelter, and often times the farang can meet those needs. Once the basics are taken care of, then that person can "look for love, friendship, etc." And under the theory that "its just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man" many farangs benefit from their realative net worth. Not that all farangs who visit Thailand are rich, but are well off compared to the average Thai.


Maslow's hierarchy of needs:
1. Physiological (Biological needs)
2. Safety
3. Love/Belonging
4. Esteem
5. Actualization

[kahuna]

I can't agree or disagree with anything said. After my first 30-day visit I probably know less than I did before I landed in BKK. I did discover that at my old age I didn't want the 2 girls a night short-time experience. But I did have the fortune to meet the most perfect ( for me) ladyboy in Pattaya.

She is a girl that was on this site in 2004 and that's how I hooked up with her. I think she said she was 24 then and she is still 24 in 2006. She has little crows feet around her eyes, so I would guess her real age to me much older that 24. But it would only be a guess. She is small and soft and so very feminine. And I felt so much more comfortable with her than I did with any of the younger girls.

But whether she really likes me or not or just my gifts and money, I suppose I'll never know. We did the temples and shows and movies and dinners and it was really wonderful having her on my arm and acting liked she cared.

One afternoon when we were in the room getting ready to go for dinner and a trip to the Tiffany Cabaret (where she worked until very recently), she was on the bed, fully clothed, hair spread, talking on her cell to some unknown person--her lover, bf, girl friends--I didn't know or care. She looked so beautiful that I had to pull the camera out and take a couple shots and then went about my business and she hers. After some time I wandered by again and she held the phone up and said Momma wants to say hi. I was shocked but I did take the phone and said hello to her mother (momma is Thai and daddy is Chinese and they are not poor farmers). Needless to say, it was a short conversation.

Later that evening she introduced me to some of her Tiffany friends and as we traveled around the city we were always running into a LB friend of hers. To whom she always introduced me while holding my arm or hand.

I am stupid, but not stupid enough to know that it was all just a fantasy. However, for that and that alone, I will return again and again just to see her.

[Guest]

(kahuna @ Jun. 08 2006,00:36) I can't agree or disagree with anything said. After my first 30-day visit I probably know less than I did before I landed in BKK. I did discover that at my old age I didn't want the 2 girls a night short-time experience. But I did have the fortune to meet the most perfect ( for me) ladyboy in Pattaya.

She is a girl that was on this site in 2004 and that's how I hooked up with her. I think she said she was 24 then and she is still 24 in 2006. She has little crows feet around her eyes, so I would guess her real age to me much older that 24. But it would only be a guess. She is small and soft and so very feminine. And I felt so much more comfortable with her than I did with any of the younger girls.

But whether she really likes me or not or just my gifts and money, I suppose I'll never know. We did the temples and shows and movies and dinners and it was really wonderful having her on my arm and acting liked she cared.

One afternoon when we were in the room getting ready to go for dinner and a trip to the Tiffany Cabaret (where she worked until very recently), she was on the bed, fully clothed, hair spread, talking on her cell to some unknown person--her lover, bf, girl friends--I didn't know or care. She looked so beautiful that I had to pull the camera out and take a couple shots and then went about my business and she hers. After some time I wandered by again and she held the phone up and said Momma wants to say hi. I was shocked but I did take the phone and said hello to her mother (momma is Thai and daddy is Chinese and they are not poor farmers). Needless to say, it was a short conversation.

Later that evening she introduced me to some of her Tiffany friends and as we traveled around the city we were always running into a LB friend of hers. To whom she always introduced me while holding my arm or hand.

I am stupid, but not stupid enough to know that it was all just a fantasy. However, for that and that alone, I will return again and again just to see her.

Kahuna,

I so empathize with you. I, too have my fantasy, and I keep coming back for more.

I am envious of guys who have made it work for them, like Nick and NingNong in Patong. This kind of commitment would require relocating to LOS. Not possible right now, but there is always the future.

Cheers

Ronin

[Mai-Kee]

(stogie bear @ Jun. 08 2006,00:04)

part of a hooker's job is to give that 'girlfriend experience' that we all want, again even if it's not real.

But only in Thailand are such 'GFE' demands made on the girl.
Everywhere else in the world the arrangement is a 'sex only' deal!

Thanks JD and Stogie!  
This for me is the key question:

Why do WE always mix love and business in Thailand?? Never figured out what this is. Everywhere else on this planet, you have sex with hookers, pay and go! In Thailand everybody thinks he has to save&marry those girls - or at least consider them as his gf!
I haven't met anybody who does this at home - not even with the Thai hookers at home.....

Why the hell is that???

MK

[Road Runner]

Hello Ronin,

I hadn't spotted how that could read two ways    

I did mean parochial;-
1.  narrow in outlook or scope
2.  within a parish

As an example Thais will look at  two things in a shop at the same price  -  one made in Thailand  -  the other made abroad and obviously better quality.
They will buy the one made in Thailand  -  why?  -  'because it's better!  And then when pushed further  -  'because it's made in Thailand!
(This was 'Herself' and I buying things for the apartment     )

Or as Donnny said  -  everything Thai is No.1

I think it's sort of indoctrinated into them when they are young.  The fact that relatively few Thai's travel abroad tends to reinforce this way of thinking.

Does this extend to boyfriends?
Yes in the sense that they are going to get more out of a relationship with someone from their own country/culture.

Conversely there are more worldly wise girls.
Some of them want something different for themselves  -  some have been hurt by Thai guys and don't want anything more to do with them.

Also as Stogie says 'there's the comfort factor'

RR.

[Guest]

R R,
Thanks, learn something new everyday.
Ronin

[Guest]

wow, this has turned into a great thread with some very interesting comments [thanks!];  I really expected to see more of "fuck you, JaiDee, my hooker GF loves me and only me despite what you say!" But most people seem to be pretty grounded and realistic....let me take these posts one at a time because they are all good;

 Brock.... very good post, we have had our differences up here but you make so many valid points; a westerner WOULD have a better chance at finding true love in LOS if he took the time to lean the language and the culture and eat their food, etc......  Too many of us go there and expect our girl to enjoy soccer, hamburgers and watching action movies; when in reality they want Thai street food and doing what young Thai people want, not what older western guys want.  Thanks for being honest also about girls VS ladyboys; this line right here is classic;  "I love ladyboys because they look like hot Asian strippers and are great in bed.  Once you start hanging out with them, you start to see remnants of the fact that they are still a man and that just gives me the eebie jeebies.   This is especially true when it comes to their male voices and some of their mannerisms that only men would do.   I am sure this makes me unenlightened as it relates to the ladyboy world but it is what it is...I have no desire to have a relationship with a ladyboy, especially a prostitute. "  Wow, so well said and  I guess I agree because I haven't had a 'relationship' with a ladyboy prostitute since 2001 and I don't plan on it anytime soon.


Beefy..... this line DOES worry me;
   "Most times real girlfiends and wives don't make us feel as good as they do too!!!

Does this not worry any of you?? "

 Yes, it worries me very much actually...... and that is why I never have a GF in the states {I had a wife once, it was horrible} and prefer to 'butterfly' in Thailand; in reality it costs about the same to pay hookers and they perform better in bed than do wives or steady girlfriends, who get complacent and set in their ways and stop all sex after a few months/years of being with the same guy. Sad but true.

Donnny.....also good points, you mentioned the language and age factors and it goes back to what I was saying originally; would a 20-year old cute ladyboy rather hang out with someone who speaks her language, enjoys her food, likes her music and has the same  cultural background, or some guy double her age who likes none of the above and can only speak 10 words of Thai language?  The answer is obvious.

Sampler Doc....  'Does it matter if they love us or like us or just use us for money or sex?

We are doing the same correct?

I am a big whore so, I am sure I do the same as many of them....'


    This needs no further explanation, it is just SO true..... we use them, they use us and neither one cared; I hate quoting Bob Seger now that he's pushing 60 but it's very true. Basically, we want to screw everything that walks on these trips, AND expect to get feelings of love and attachments; why wouldn't they want the same from their own kind?  they are human too after all.


      LBHunter.....  'I'm not looking for true love there. They are playing the game well and I have a good time, that's usually all and makes everyone happy. Investing too many feelings there might only cause pain. '

    Agreed on all points.....now.  I got burned and hurt 2 or 3 times over the years and now I just do short times; "love" ain't happening for a guy moving well past 40, a couple dozen pounds overweight and in Thailand less than half the year.  I have realized this now and try not to get 'feelings' for anyone, although some of them are so damned cute and friendly it's hard not to.


Tampannugget also makes some very good Psych 101 points, although I believe for ladyboys biological needs would be lower down the list.....first would be safety and a need to be loved and accepted and wanted; they have strived for this since age 4 or 5 and probbaly didn't get it from Daddy, who was pissed that his boy became a girl or was just not there at all.


 Kahuna....please don't be put off by this topic..... if you have a GF  that makes you feel like you are the only man in the world that's great and if she works in a cabaret that is even better, she may be the real deal and not even a working girl.....just be prepared that  there COULD be hurt feelings from your end some day.  I have been in this job for about 6 years now; total number of Falang-Ladyboy relationships I have seen go for more than 2 years in that time span?  Zero......sorry, the odds are stacked againts ye.


    Ronin....    'I am envious of guys who have made it work for them, like Nick and NingNong in Patong.  This kind of commitment would require relocating to LOS.  Not possible right now, but there is always the future.'

 I am envious of solid relationships also, I guess I have only had 2 or 3 in my whole life; and yes indeed, to have a real relationship with a Thai you must re-locate there and not do the few times per year deal.

 MK, you said this;    'Why do WE always mix love and business in Thailand?? Never figured out what this is. Everywhere else on this planet, you have sex with hookers, pay and go! In Thailand everybody thinks he has to save&marry those girls - or at least consider them as his gf!
I haven't met anybody who does this at home - not even with the Thai hookers at home.....

Why the hell is that???'

  One  reason in my opinion....no where else on the planet do people go out of their way so much to make us feel good and like we are the only ones in the world for them....even if for only 1 hour.  These Thai's have a way of sinking their hooks into us, maybe it is just un-explainable but they make us feel like they are our "girlfriends", even after just one night!  Very odd.... they are experts at this and I admire that also.


   RR..... nice line here;  'everything Thai is No.1

I think it's sort of indoctrinated into them when they are young.  The fact that relatively few Thai's travel abroad tends to reinforce this way of thinking'

     Ever notice how very few Thai people move away from their beloved home? In every western city you will see Chinese people, Viets, Philippino's, Indo's, etc...... but very few Thai's [ and also Japanese].  Reason?  They love their country!  and their family, and their culture and ways of thinking..... they live in paradise, why would they want to live somewhere else?  Please, all you dreamers who wish your "girlfriend" would move with you to whatever boring western hellhole you live in right now, give that up now; chances are as soon as she gets there she will be looking for a way out; why does she need you now that she is in the west?  RR, this doesn't apply to you because your girl is not a hooker....... hookers would love a key to the west so they can start making 500 euro's a day in Amsterdam or Paris or L.A., once they get there the "sponsor" who made it all happen is dust.  Again, seen it many many times. Then they will work really hard and save enough money for a few years and go back to....... you know.



        Thanks guys, great responses..... and I am happy we are all realistic here!!

[jmaryt]

brocklanders and jaidee!

from a personal perspective,i agree 100% about the prostitute angle!..i have been there!..waste of time!..it's about money,and damn little else!..i knew this beforehand,but thought it will be different with me!..forget it!..got suckered over the "net,and the phone!..never even got to the phils!..may get there this year!..quote:.."there is none so blind,as those that will not see!"..end quote!..also.."can't see the forest,because the trees are in the way!"..nuff said!

regards!
john

[Bit Beefy]

Men Who Fall In Love With Thai Hookers Are Clinically Sick

I read this and immediatley thought of this thread. Tell me what u think...

[JackG]

Do they really like us?
No.