Relationships!

[SPIRIT CRUSHER]

Not sure if this is the best place to put this but is good a place as any i guess... This i guess is as much of a question to young newbies to the ladyboy scene as it is the old.

So i'll start from the beginning. im only 22 years old right now my ladyboy/shemale obsession began when i was about 16 or 17 years old looking at porn sites as we do. And eventually came across asiants joining that as soon as age and credit permitted and was astounded to see that i could meet an really get to know these beuties i was looking at on my screen which i had the oppurtunity to do at the tender age of 19 and then again a few months later.

Fast foward to now im nearly 23 years old have had the odd relationship with a genetic female during my teen years mainly before my big trips to thailand and i am all set for my return early next year.Cannot wait actually.

Now my big problem and main question is how or do i maintain a relationship with a female when im not in thailand, i have pretty much decided that for now im very happy where i live and the LOS is where i unwind and have all my fun but im only young and im not on the kinda money that allows me to come back and forth numerous times per year.

So i guess im asking what do u guys do when your not in LOS for me it has been a hell of a struggle the last 2 years since ive been. Im not really the deceiving type so im no good at hiding things and im not sure im in the posistion to tell everyone my whole deal as i get the feeling no one is ever going to understand.

I mean this may seem to be of no consequence to the older folks here who have gone through the whole love and marriage deal or sham as they may call it but i have not and it seems to confuse me a great deal as to how i can make a relationship work from here,it may not be worth it but can be mighty lonely. Would be good to know how other youngins go through relationships under the same circumstances/feelings.

[PigDogg]

Hey Spirit Crusher, excellent question and one I'm struggling with too.

One idea is to google polyamory.

[Looker]

(SPIRIT CRUSHER @ Oct. 21 2006,23:02) Now my big problem and main question is how or do i maintain a relationship with a female when im not in thailand, i have pretty much decided that for now im very happy where i live and the LOS is where i unwind and have all my fun but im only young and im not on the kinda money that allows me to come back and forth numerous times per year.

Well..I'm much older than you S.C. but have been there, and doe that, like most likely many of the other guys who are posting in here!
More precisely, Right at 22-23-24 y.o. I was working oversea (Middle East) and dating women who were living in far East, where I had chance to travel to but surely not weekly!
Long distance relationships are not easy to cultivate and inevitably you end up with having a few of them, especially helped now by the internet...back I used old fashioned letters and a few phone calls since phone tariffs were far more expensive than now.
So, it all depends from what you want to do when you'll be a grown-up person. Not that you aren't..do not misunderstand me, but at your age I guess you'still have a bit of time to ponder about future

[Guest]

I think the guy's original question was how to maintain a relationship with "females" when he is NOT in Thailand, i.e. the girl friend he is with now. It's not a long term relationship. Did I misunderstand?

[PigDogg]

Right. How do we have relationships that work at home in farangland AND still be able to travel to the LOS for our ladyboy adventures?

In other words we want to have our cake
and eat it too!

I've been avoiding relationships back home but that's not living life full blast.

[Guest]

Many of us have 2 personalities.

A stage persona that we show in public to our family, friends, and outwardly in general, in farangland.

And a private persona that we only share with like minded people, say, an admiration of Ladyboys.

The trick is to recognize and accept that, however uncomfortable it may be at times, and enjoy it, rather than analyze and doubt your morals or sexuality. This is typically easier for us older guys who tend to care less about appearance, are a little more sure of our thoughts, and perhaps have been ill-treated by ex-wives (and thus are perhaps less sensitive to their feelings now).

My advice would be enjoy what you seem to desire, i.e., Ladyboys, accept that that may not be possible at home, and that you do in fact like your girlfriend, and that this dual-personality is not so wierd at all. Likely the majority of members on this forum are the same.

As for the guilt-conscience of hiding a secret from your GF, whether you go to Thailand and physically act out your desires, or just keep them private by spending hours on the internet, you are hiding something from her anyhow, either an action or thought. In both cases, you likely have some guilt-conscience. You have to decide which level you can live with.

I personally think acting out desires is good, as it leads to clarity. Until you act them out, you are always wondering if its really for you or not. With that clarity, it becomes more obvious what to do next in life.

[stogie bear]

A stage persona that we show in public to our family, friends, and outwardly in general, in farangland.
And a private persona that we only share with like minded people, say, an admiration of Ladyboys.

Yep, that's true.

Years ago I married a Mexican chick. We lived together for a while but we moved back to Mexico. (The UK is a really horrible place to raise kids and we had a baby daughter.)

I went back to Dallas to work and she was in Mexico with her own business (gift shop.) We survived just fine with me being away for weeks on end. I'd call her a lot and we'd have fantastic fun when we met up in Mexico City with the kid and then travel down to our house. It wqas almost like part of the esxcitement of our relationship and what kept it going for so well for so long was the fact that we weren't always on top of each other.

Also - I think that when we are younger we feel the need for intimate companionship and in addition to that we often get tricked by society into thinking that the monogamists are somehow morally superiour.

The older you get the more secure you are in yourself and the less you need the assurance and encouragement of other people and the less you listen to other people's quirky versions of the 'right way' to live.

So to summarise...

If you are young then long distance relationships can be fun.
If you are older they are probably a necessity!

[SPIRIT CRUSHER]

Cheers for the response guys is some food for thought for sure with good points from everyone, i think you hit the nail on the head ziggy with the 2 personalities thing which is still new to me as i know most of you guys have been in the game alot longer then me so i guess it's something that i will become more comfortable with over time. Lifes to short be over analysing things so thanks again.